Welcome to
the NOCD Community

An ocd diagnosis did not stop me from falling in love or becoming a business owner. I am happy to be in therapy & feel supported on a daily basis.

Hey! I’m really in need of some encouragement right now, can anyone tell me their experience with ROCD and their recovery? I’ve felt very hopeless the last few days and it would be nice to hear some recovery stories and uplifting words.

I have never been diagnosed with OCD, but I experience a handful of the same, intrusive thoughts regarding who I am and what I offer to the world, and things with my boyfriend. I have been seeking therapy through the university I go to which has been helpful, but my therapist is treating me with only anxiety in mind, which is why I think it’s effects are not longer. During the summer, I cannot use my universities counseling resources, and have been doing digging through this app to help me consider my options for when I need therapy. However, I am still under my parents health insurance. My parents know that I go to counseling, but they do not know that I believe I have OCD symptoms. It is also difficult because I believe that my parents were a huge influence on these symptoms. If anyone has any advice as to how I should go about this with my parents if I were to use this app as a resource for therapy.

What are some things people do instead of reassurance seeking (eg ruminating or googling)?

can someone please tell me if this is a normal rocd symptom? i’ve really been struggling the last few days. i have my first session tonight thankfully. but i’ve been having meltdowns and anxious 24/7 since this started. im now at a point where im looking at my boyfriend and not seeing him how i used to. like i know that it’s him but for some reason i feel like it’s not. it’s hard to connect who he is with his face if that makes sense. this is by far the most hurtful part i’ve experienced. is this normal?

Today is awful, got groinals a week ago, my father passed away and things got harder. I have hocd since September last year and sometimes have peaceful periods. Overcame false attraction and few other things. Also im taking meds for anxiety and depression and also suicidal. I have girlfriend and when we cuddle i get aroused but when thoughts come it gets more intense. Its wery uncomfortable and i dont know what to do anymore. Thank you for reading this, and hope you have some advice. Im currently 23yo

Does anyone else’s OCD get triggered by intimacy? Was intimate w my boyfriend last night and I just couldn’t stop checking and then if I didn’t feel turned on “enough” I was like oh it’s probably bc I’m gay etc. where’s the line between OCD and not being turned on! Granted on a good day / when my brain is turned off I have so much fun & it feels so good. Why does this happen? Does it happen to anyone else? Sometimes I feel so dirty or depressed afterwards

Anyone who makes art, what kind of struggles you face with it because of ocd?

So I was having sexuality thoughts and I tried using one ERP method which was “maybe or maybe not either way I will be fine” but then a random thought appeared that made me panic which was “what if I become bi or fall for a girl and can’t be with my bf no more?” And I instantly started crying because I don’t wanna lose him he’s literally everything to me. I also couldn’t fully cry out my emotions since I live in a toxic household and I tend to force myself to stop crying because I don’t want them asking me questions and then blaming on the people I care about. 😭

Anyways, aside from my last post, I wanted to come here and let y’all know that I’m basically recovered from SO-OCD! I have maybe one episode every two months, and that’s been going on for two years. Wanted to open up this thread and offer the floor for anyone who has questions for me and my experience!

For those whose OCD gets worse with your cycle, did birth control help?

I think I've struggled with self esteem ever since I was a little boy. I remember the moments where I didn't get along with other kids, where I was bullied a couple times, where I had problem socializing with other kids in middle school, and definitely when I had little to no friends in high school. That's when it was at it's worse. I often compare myself to others without even meaning to, I don't praise the things I do, I'm often stuck with negative self talk, and as of now as an adult it's been causing mood swings that can throw off my entire day/night like it has right now. I couldn't even enjoy drawing because I just kept seeing all the other stuff people can make and thinking how much my drawings sucked. Instead of seeing that was inspiration like I'd hoped it would, I just felt worse. These feelings even show up with my friends and sometimes family. The people I care about the most in my whole life. I constantly just remember everything bad that went on in my life and I feel like I'm not good enough because of my mistakes and regrets. Ashamed, even

While I was in church today I was a little down. I talk to my grandmother and God a lot. I was praying before I go up to communion. I felt and heard God saying to me that “everything is going to be ok, and I anoint your head with the Holy Spirit”. Those were the 2 main things that he said. Then after i started praying and my grandmother appeared to me holding my hand, then I look again I see her face got ugly, white eyes, sharp teeth, and roared in my face. I jumped. Then i went back in and there she was again all beautiful. After I received communion, I was talking to her again saying that was the enemy that was using my OCD against me. Had a little bit of a setback the past few days. Even in church the enemy could attack you. OCD is now telling me that wasn’t my grandmother I’ve been talking to, even though she’s my guardian angel and felt her presence whenever she talked to me. I had proof that it was her. I was feeling down today, and I asked her to send me roses because those are his favorite flowers. There were roses all over the church today when I walked in, signifying she was there within me. However since that thought, I got scared and was thinking a tornado. Can OCD do something like this?

Discovering and struggling with my ROCD during my engagement has been the worst time of my life. Worrying incessantly about my fiancé and our future has made me miserable and I’ve become quite hopeless. I also feel so much pressure for everything to be perfect and to make the absolute most of my wedding/honeymoon/etc whatever it is that it’s debilitating. It has been causing a lot of passive suicidal thoughts not wanting to suffer this anymore.

How do you practice overcoming these thoughts? I read that accepting, allowing it to exist without interaction can help, but I don’t know how to apply it or how long it can last

Ok so for a little but of background before my ROCD started I had bad health anxiety/ocd, I was super worried I was going to die, but as well, thought my partner was going to die, and was insistent on them getting checked by the doctor, I was so scared to lose them. Once I got answers for my health concerns, it flipped pretty much over night to feelings of him being a stranger to me, our memories didn't feel real and I was very numbed out. 6 months later I'm still dealing with this, and I'm honestly still in shock about it. My question is, now, the relationship doubts are there, but also I'm starting to notice the "worried about him dying thoughts" pop in, which confuses me, because I never ever want to lose him so I understand being worried about his health but then it immediately flips back to, "why do you even care anyway" Is this normal? Maybe the ROCD started because I was scared to lose him in the first place? Has anyone else experienced this weird flip flop in between being scared to lose them one moment, and then back to numbness the next?

please please please only watch if you are ready: i want to know your guys thoughts on this tik tok because honestly it has been super triggering and confusing given that ocd is EGODYSTONIC https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRobWuPD/

I just recently got diagnosed with OCD. Things are making more sense, but I’m so scared. I don’t know what to do. I have always had horrific intrusive thoughts and compulsions, but I kind of just assumed it was normal and that everyone experienced them. Now that I know for sure that’s not true, I feel so isolated and gross. I feel like I can’t tell anyone. Does it even get better?

Before anyone reads this please be aware that this can be triggering and some 18+ content is mentioned on here. So I have been recently experiencing HOCD, been experiencing it for a few weeks now (it’s very new to me and something Ive never dealt with). My whole life I have never liked a girl nor have I ever had a crush or fell in love with a girl like I do with men. But just like everyone whenever people get into heat sometimes we watch things to pleasure ourselves. Well for me it’s always been lesbian love and have been doing that for years. There have been times where I go “am I bi” but then I would try to imagine myself with a women sexually and romantically and I would just cringe at the idea of it so I would just tell myself that I don’t and just carry on with my everyday life. But a few weeks ago I was talking to a friend about this and I explained to them that I am not bi because I would simply see lesbian love as something that I can relate to because of how women pleasure themselves can be relatable and because I said that my friend decides to make a comment saying ”idk maybe you are bi or not, you never know until you try” and for some reason that got in my head and for 2 weeks straight I was having non stop thoughts about my sexuality and trying to imagine myself with a girl and I would always cringe but there were times where it felt like “maybe I do want that” and I would panic again because I don’t want that and it’s not me but yet it feels like I’m lying to myself when I know deep down I’m straight. I also forgot to mention that I am in a relationship with my boyfriend and he’s literally everything to me. But during those two weeks I had lack of sleep and constant mental breakdowns because I don’t wanna be bi and I would panic whenever I felt calm and say things like ”it’s okay to be bi just be bi” it also didn’t help that so many of my friends were telling me that nothing is wrong with being bi and to not drop the idea fully. Like I know sexuality isn’t wrong but I want to drop the idea because I myself know deep down I’m straight but ofc my brain goes “nope you’re just tryna convince yourself”. It also ruins me enjoying my relationship because of these thoughts (as well as some ROCD thoughts). Idk I am just struggling with letting the thoughts in and trying not to analyze them or act on them. It’s very tiring 🥺 Like even rn I feel calm having these thoughts and it freaks me out a lil cause it makes me think that it’s true 😭

does anyone have an inspirational story about recovering? any subtype is great! i feel like this could make more people, including myself, more empowered. so if you want to, please do! ps. doesn’t have to be yours, can be a friends :)