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the NOCD Community

Does anybody else obsess with other people being gay and start thinking that everybody is gay and then think because they do this it makes them gay

Question for anyone: How old were you when You started your first job?

Those who have conquered Harm OCD, what tips or tricks worked for you?

might be a big trigger for hocd but why do some lesbians say they were boy-crazy before. like what does that even mean , if you have never liked men then how have you been boy-crazy ?

i would feel so much better if my parents and family weren’t so homophobic ugh. i’m SO afraid of lesbian, mainly because of the things i would have to go through after coming out. this isn’t supposed to be reassurance but, do people usually have an OCD theme and primarily fear the outcome of a situation?? for example, the possibility of me being lesbian doesn’t scare me (it does make me uncomfortable though, given that i’ve been attracted to guys my whole life), it’s the fact that if i were lesbian, my family would probably not support me or ever look at me the same again. does that make sense??

I have assurance of my salvation, but my prayer life is still awful. I never have any desire to pray, and when I do pray, it's always half-hearted and empty. I've tried disciplining myself and just forcing myself to pray even when I don't feel like it, but that usually leaves me more discouraged than when I started. I feel so guilty over my prayerlessness, but I can't seem to improve. I've cried out to God so many times, begging Him, "Lord, help me to pray more," "God, give me the discipline to pray," and "Father, please give me motivation to pray." But it never changes. I just want to be able to enjoy communion with my Savior.

If you know what I’m thinking about.. if you know what I’m did and doing every day.. if you know who i really am.. you will think that I’m the worst person ever existed

I just had the weirdest coincidence involving ocd. I don't want to get much into it but I didn't do one of my rituals and the EXACT thing I feared happened. It feels crazy but I don't know what to do, Literally can't get it out of my mind. I literally don't know if I'll ever be the same again. I'm terrified and convinced it can't be a coincidence.

Is it just me or does anyone else also doubt the fact that they have OCD even if they know for sure that they do have OCD and have been diagnosed various times??

Hello everyone. I have been having horrible thoughts ever since I turned 13, and now I’m almost 16, and still having them. When I turned 13, the thoughts were constant and nearly drove me to kill myself. I thought about killing my family and pets constantly, but, worst of all, especially my mother. Now, I sleep with my door closed to try to stop the thoughts and to keep from hearing or seeing my mom or dad. I love my parents and pets, especially my mother— she’s an amazing woman, and has done so much for me, but yet I’m still having these damn thoughts. I was at a bad school when I was 13, and then moved to another when I was 14. After a switched schools, the thoughts gradually began to lessen, but every few months, they get really bad again for a few weeks (I still have them daily out of those bad few weeks, but when they get bad, they get bad.) I’m currently going through one of those spurts. I have tried to talk to my dad about getting help, and even though he said that he’ll look for a therapist, it’s been nearly a year, and I still haven’t gotten help. I desperately want these thoughts to stop because I feel like a horrible person and I love my parents, family, and pets so much, but I’m terrified of opening up to my dad and telling him everything that I think about (I also have thoughts about sexually abusing children, but I don’t want to do it! I’m not attracted to children whatsoever, but I’m still thinking about it.) My self-esteem is absolutely horrible, and I feel like a monster for thinking about these things. I’m very much a daddy’s girl, and if he is disgusted or angry at me, then I honestly don’t know how I’d handle it. I really, really need help, but just don’t know how to go about doing it (I’ve thought about going to the school councilor, but they’ve made it known that, if they’re concerned about a student, that they’ll either contact their parents or the police.) My dad has said to just calm down and relax, but I literally can’t. We have mental illnesses on my mom’s side, and many of those people take pills, and when I’ve talked to my dad about my anxiety and depression, he’s said that pills aren’t the answer. Honestly, at this point I don’t care what treatment I get— all I care about is these thoughts stopping. I’m sorry if this is rambling and a little confusing, but my mind is all over the place right now. Any suggestions would be very much appreciated.

A wise women (my mom) told me "where there is life there is hope" such a beautiful quote. She also said "if you're going through hell.. Keep going" I want to be able to live by these quotes.

Anyone here from the West Midlands UK? Or near?

i know i don’t want to be with a guy and my mind is playing tricks on me but i’m so fed up and it feels like this is going to be my life now. i used to be so happy but now i don’t even want to move

I’m having a panic attack right now. I’m talking to a cute boy and my mind is telling me I’m not attracted to him and I’m attracted to girls. I want to be with a guy. But what if I’m into girls and I have internal homophobia. I don’t want to be gay because it’s not something I believe in. I feel the need to come out. I want to be into men like I was. I hate this living like this is such a waste. I literally don’t want to be here. I’m at work and I’m freaking out

OCD and porn I am a happily married man with OCD. I have a strong confession compulsion and lots of sexuality-related OCD obsessions and fears. My wife and I have a good sex life but I still indulge in watching porn maybe once or occasionally twice a week. I told my wife about this and her reaction was that she did not care. She outright said, “I don’t have a problem with porn.” Still, I am always confessing to her when I watch it. Needless to say, this is annoying to her. Recently, I told her that I would stop watching it because it made me feel bad. Again she told me that she didn’t care. Well, I slipped up and watched again since I said this. Now, I feel this intense urge to confess again. She doesn’t care but I broke my word. I’m constantly confessing things to her and driving her up the wall sometimes. Can anyone relate to this? Should I confess for breaking my own word even though she said she doesn’t care if I watch? My guilt over this is super strong.

MEME me: wow I can’t wait to go on vacation!! my mind: *gasps* ... did you say.... vacation? me: wait- my mind: OMG ARE YOU READY ITS GONNA BE HELL YOUR ANXIETY IS GONNA GO FROM ZERO TO A HUNDRED FREAK OUUTTTTT

Hocd (homosexual) seems to be the most common ocd on here. I keep mistaking it for harm ocd what I suffer with because both are reffered to as hocd.

This is kinda OCD related in the sense that it’s an uncertainty and an open question that gives me anxiety. I doubt it’s a common one but still. I just don’t know what to do. I worry that a lot of my happiness depends on food. I enjoy eating so much and it’s come to the point where I’m worrying if that’s the only thing I enjoy in life. I’m scared. I don’t want to be eating healthier, and then as a result, get really unhappy because there’s no ‘joy to life’ or whatever. I remember a couple days ago after I got high and paranoid and started to feel weird and disconnected... I was sad that food lost it’s taste. I hate that that was the first thing I worried about. I want to find joy in other aspects of life, I just don’t know how to. I find with a lot of things that I enjoy, there’s a pattern and they’re all ‘bad’ things. Getting new clothes. Showing off. Parties. Feeling pretty and confident. Do I even like spending time with the people I love? Do I like music? Reading? I’m scared. I’m not overweight. I’m okay for my height, but still, that’s hardly the point. I just want to find happiness in more meaningful things.

I’ve seen a lot of hocd posts on here recently like more than half are abt sexuality and it’s got me wondering if the growing acceptance of the lgbt community and popularized gay culture like on twitter has something to do with it. In my case I still suffer from it and am still working on it but i prefer to fight it by trying my best in accepting it and embracing the diversity of sexuality and in some weird way it helps ground me into understanding that the uncertainty doesn’t have any control over me and it’s helped me lose anxiety abt losing interest in guys or focus on being attracted to them while not avoiding girls or thoughts abt being with girls by just acknowledging them as thoughts and going back to how I used to see girls. Just wanted to let anyone out there know it is possible and you can do it! It can’t be like this forever it’s all about putting in effort and accepting that it’s still a process

Note: Sorry for making it way too long. I would like to share some positive things that OCD had for me and it has in general to cheer up and show that how struggles like this can still benefit you. Disclaimer: Some of you might not find this relatable specially if you are at initial stages of your battle against OCD so don't worry if you can't relate, but those of us who managed to cope up with OCD and those who eventually will, might be able to relate to this. Most of this is coming from my personal experiences and realizations which I believe is present among general OCD sufferers. 1. OCD makes you mentally stronger. We all know the phrase "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" those of us, who have managed to live with ocd, tamed it in certain way and carried on with our lives along with this monster, did and are mentally stronger than before. With constant negative thoughts across all themes that bombard our minds on a daily basis yet we persevere on our daily actions and tackle those thoughts. We overcome these negative thoughts and at one point almost become immune to a specific theme. For example, those who suffered with ROCD in the past and if it is not bothering them anymore, they can never get fooled by anyone telling them any negative things about their relationship. No one can break their relationship with any dirty tricks. Or those who suffered from Existential OCD, they probably have thought about every philosophical question that a single human brain can think of. Those who overcame scrupulousity cannot be fooled into believing that they are sinning if they know they are not and if there is no evidence. 2. OCD people are good at decision making. We are best at making calculated decisions. Because we live in a constant state of doubts, before we make any decision, our brain automatically calculates all the possibilities that can be taken before choosing a decision. Before we make a choice, we already have dozens of doubts in our brain about what the outcome might be if we take that decision. These doubts creates all positive-negative scenarios of the outcome and help us make a very safe or calculated-risk decision. This allows us to not suffer by being a victim of dumb decision making. Because we seek certainty, we stay safe most of the time while our peers suffer from doing dumb things. 3. We are good at reasoning, debating and arguing. Realize that we are always in an argument in our mind against our thoughts, we are always reasoning with our thoughts, even through compulsions and reassurances, we are constantly learning new things. Because of this constant argument with OCD, OCD somehow has trained us in reasoning and argument. We have practiced arguing so much in our mind that people in real life becomes no big deal to us, our thoughts have better logic than them. 4. It is true and tested that on average, people with OCD tends to have higer than average IQs. (Look it up) We are smarter and have huge potential, we just need to channel it properly and productively. Average intelligent people can never even comprehend questions that comes to minds of those with Existential or Scrupulousity OCD, questions that are in reality very intellectual and philosophical. Our self esteem should not be low if we are this good. There are people in this world that wish they could have the ability to comprehend questions that we ponder about. That they could think deeply like us. We shouldn't be feeling low. God/Nature only gives harshest struggles to those that can bear. We have been chosen to struggle with this because we are that strong, because we can overcome, others would snap and collapse if faced by this. Our minds, specifically our minds are more complex than others. And even anatomically, our brains are more active than others. While a human uses 10% of the brain (I know this myth is debunked) at a given moment, we use over 50%. Brain scans of normal and ocd brains reveals we have greater region of activity in our brain than a normal brain. Look up brain scans of normal vs ocd brain. More area in our brains light up than a normal brain. Its like we are literally superhumans with superbrains, too bad we can't use that brain power to shoot lasers with our eyes. (Although this brain activity doesn't give us any superhuman ability, this somehow adds a cool effect to my analogy ?) But the point is, there is so many positive traits we have, without which we would not even have OCD and we overlook these things. We should remind ourselves about these and lift our morales up, and put on our pants and show OCD that we are stronger than it is. We are better and we can persevere. That the low self-esteem upon which OCD preys on will not be there anymore. That we will persevere, persevere and will persevere. And we can do that cause we are stronger than the rest including OCD. ?