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How can you tell the difference between your gut instinct that something is wrong or OCD?

Hi there, this is my first post. I graduated college last summer, and have been living in my parents basement (cliche I know) while saving up some money to move out. My bedroom has been in the basement since I was 8 years old and we have never once had any issues with critters until now. Yesterday morning I heard scratching coming from my closed bedroom (I don’t sleep in there but that’s a whole different story lol). I thought I had closed my cat in the night before by accident when I was doing some laundry so I opened the door to check. She wasn’t in there, but sound carries easily in my house so I figured she must be trapped somewhere else and I could just hear her. I left my door open (it is usually open anyways) and go upstairs. I found her in the garage, so I assumed I was right about the noise and moved on. Hours later, I go back downstairs to finish up my laundry. I was sorting things when I saw a mouse out of the corner of my eye and completely lost it. My stepdad immediately went to the store to get some traps. He set them up for me and we barricaded the basement door. We scheduled an appointment with an exterminator so they can come assess the situation. At this point there is nothing I can do, and I know this, but the thoughts won’t stop. My mind has been racing ever since. When did this start? How many are there? Have I been living with them without knowing? Is there an entire outbreak? Will one get upstairs? Are they already upstairs? Are they in the walls? Will I get sick? Will I die? Will all my things be ruined? EVERYTHING I own is in that basement. All my furniture from college, my clothes, my shoes, even sentimental things from my childhood are down there. Again, I was 8 when I got my room in the basement, so when I say everything I mean EVERYTHING. I don’t know how to cope with this at all. I am terrified just being here at home. I can’t stop thinking about what is happening in the basement. I can’t shake the thought that at this very moment my belongings are being stepped on, peed on, and pooped on by animals that harbor deadly diseases. Even when the situation is handled and there are no more things living down there, how will I know for sure? I was going to move out next month, but now all my stuff has been contaminated! How will I clean everything? What am I going to do? I have very severe contamination OCD and just recently switched my medication, so I am still adjusting. This could not have happened at a worse possible time. Obviously this situation would be bad for anyone, but my OCD makes it even worse. The people in my life are trying to help make me feel better, and they understand why I’m upset, but don’t fully grasp the absolute panic I’m feeling. I just wanted to write about my situation in a place where other people may have a better understanding of how I’m feeling. Sorry for the long rant and if you made it this far thanks for reading. :)

Does anyone here experience hit and run ocd? If so, do you mind sharing any tips on how to deal with it? I’m struggling! I can’t drive anywhere without it creeping up on me, I try not to drive around for reassurance but I always do and it definitely doesn’t help! I spend the rest of the night trying to remember every detail of my driving and I’m always checking the news I hate it ughhhhh

I want my life back, any Therapist that can give me any info or exercise that I can do on my own to help me better get through hocd, 10-12 weeks ago my mind was set. My girl friend and I were chillin, I was lifting all the time working out, my job was set, never had any thoughts like these, I want them gone. I hate this crap, fricking makes me more than pissed off. I want my attraction to women back, im not afraid anymore, im not worried, im not ashamed, I don’t care about the guilt, I want p**** to turn me on again. I want that feeling I used to get around women. Im done with this crap. I used to be around women and love the feeling of being turned on immediately. Now I’m depressed, I got annoying obsessive thoughts that don’t even add up in my mind. All unwanted, intrusive and disgusting. Im tired of going to sleep at night and overthinking shit. Im sorry with the cussing and unnecessary comments, but I want that spark back. My spark, the feeling of joy with a women, the feeling of butterflies and emotions back. I woke up 8 weeks ago with unimaginable pain in my head, anxiety, stress, uncertainty, disgust, intrusive thoughts, you name it. I just found out that my entire dads side of the family has genetics of ocd, hormone imbalance, like level 10 tier chronic illnesses. I Dont desire anything to do with men at all. Im completely fed up. I want my life back. I noticed that my head has been on straight and in check with my goals and what I want in life. I just got out of this window of reality. But when I’m in a painful headache of horrible episodes, I feel like I’m looking through a lens like the devil is controlling my every reaction and moves, i don’t fall into any compulsions at all because I know my true desires. I love and am attracted to women. I don’t care what it takes I will get it back. Any tips at all to defeating this illness. I want this to be done. I want to take back my mind and my life. There’s no such thing as uncertainty with me. I don’t care if anyone says reassurance is bad for ocd or falling into compulsions is bad. I know myself, I know my mind, I know my desires, and I know what I want In life. I will conquer this illness and make it my bitch. Please if any therapist can help me understand why this came to be I would call you my hero. I know this isn’t me I want this to get out of my life. I know they say this ocd never truly leaves, but I call BS, the human mind is capable of doing anything. I will retrieve my old self and Evolve, to anyone suffering or with this hocd illness. You will conquer this issue. You will destroy this fear, obsession. This ocd is abusing your minds capability of understand it’s true self. It’s blinding you of seeing your true self. I love you all and wish the best for you. God bless your hearts. Follow Jesus. He’s changed my life. It s a miracle.

Im sure many christians were here before or are still here... I feel like im slowly losing faith. The God that i thought is real is an imagination, and the real God is not that good God as a saw it... its about the problem of evil...Before i thought if i believe, God will help me get through hardships, doesnt let me down, will protect me from harm. Im not talking about bad things that makes us learn something, a better person and stronger... actually i like those things, i like to make myself a better/stronger person. But there are things that doesnt give you any teaching, its just puts you down, you feel alone, brakes you... Before i thought noone can harm me cause God is witj me... but now i learned that God doesnt interferes with free will... so God sended us here to suffer. Then people say "in heaven it will br better" i dont care... im living in this life now. These "in heaven it will be better" is just a stupid promise to avoid the pain now... and it triggers me. Cause i have suicisal ocd and when people say dying maybe its not that bad cause you will be with God, i just think okay then why suicide is a sin then? Why God sends us here? To suffer? Before i really had a loving picture aboit God but the more i read about the bible its just makes me think like he is a cruel God... and i dont feel any love for him,.i just feel anger...and thats why i think this isnt the real God... you feel love for God. God doesnt want you to fear, i was like that, cause i thought he will lead me and protect me,.but i jist learned that he doesnt do that... so theres nothing to cope with a fear... cause everyone can come and harm us and my family,.God will not protect us...So you still fear about your family getting harmed or you dying... and the stupid promise that "in heaven it will be better" doesnt help, then God put us here to watch as as a circus... There are alot of people who experienced the worse things and they dont want to hear from God,..how they should if they all experienced was loss and grief... God put them on earth to suffer and then He sends them to suffer...Its a really loving God... Again i dont say we should have an easy life, never have any problems... but everyone says You can lean on God in bad times,.He will help you, he can do anything, yet he will not protect you from danger, you have to accept that Evil rule this world and it will be better in heaven... I miss the loving God i had my relationship with...

I have contamination ocd wit different things there not necessarily dirty but like my deodorant can’t touch other stuff like my qtips and like I wouldn’t put my shampoo and conditioner next to my hair products just certain things like that can’t touch like my tweezers can’t touch my deodorant and like makeup couldn’t touch my deodorant and also these things get out in a clean area separate so nothing touches and I wash my hands prior to touching and when I’ve touched certain things and like laundry detergent I wouldn’t let touch anything like if I put 1 of these things on the counter then that area is contaminated I could wipe it wit cleaning products and itwould help but I still wouldn’t put my stuff on it and another things is bug spray like pest control my old apartment had fleas when we moved in so they came and sprayed and sprayed the entire carpet which triggered my ocd and everything was dirty I shampooed the carpet for hours my bf had to take off work we couldn’t finish moveing our stuff in cause I wanted to move and not contaminate the stuff that hadn’t been in there yet and like even when I shampooed it was still dirty to me so like if we wlk on the carpet and into another room I felt like our contaminated foot prints were there you no like when you can see high traffic areas in carpets but then off to the side you can tell noones wlk there that’s wat I felt wit this so everything from the bottom part of the walls and down were all dirty to me the outlets were dirty cause plugging and unplugging stuff picking something up off the floor then touching the outlet to plug something in so the bottoms of the walls and outlets were contaminated to me you out your feet on the couch that’s contaminated then place your phone there then put phone somewere else would be contaminated it was like safe areas in my mind were green and contaminated places was red and it’s vary in shade so like the carpet was red in the sprayed places and lesser red on the other floors and even lesser red on the floors that weren’t high traffic and like the bed the top was green then the bottom were your feet go would be red and I don’t actually see these colors just to explain in my mind I see safe and unsafe areas and it was hard I stopped going outside I sat in my bed for months tried getting help telehealth but it was hard cause I’m on a wierd schedule I stay up at nite cause I feel safer and places are less crowded and ppl aren’t awake I finally moved to the apartment below us and threw away so much stuff cause I didn’t want to clean it I cleaned everything on the porch for hours at nite even the prongs that go into the outlets I wiped off food packages and stuff from the fridge and freezer we rewashed everyrhing even if it was already washed it was so hard I don’t eat reason this affects me like this I wish it didn’t and I tried getting help but I was stuck in my house I have anxiety to and depression I don’t like tlk on the phone answering the phone I don’t have any contacts in my phone I don’t tlk to anyone I stay at home I no there’s places that can prescribe medication but they don’t understand ocd and there’s no place that accepts tenncare and I’m on ssi for my ocd and can’t afford to pay for erp therapy they’ve raised our rent from 745 everything included plus cable to now 917 and pay your own electric now and no cable they use to have internet and cable but when we moved in it was just cable but I’ve called my insurance and asked for an ocd doctor and ocd therapist there wasn’t any I finally found a doctor that does telehealth I can do from home to atleast get on meds and I’ve emailed Tenncare bout there not being help for ocd that they need to have better coverage but I want to start somewere wit some erp but I don’t even no we’re to start cause it seems like all my ocd intertwines I can’t do this wit this ritual cause I need to get help wit this ocd thing first I’ve never done erp I’ve had ocd since I was a teen been to doctors therpaists inpatient hospitals noones ever told me bout erp therapy.

i hate that i keep questioning myself. like are you sure you didn’t sexual assault the baby? or are you sure you didn’t put him on your lap to see if it felt good? i know i would never do anything to purposely hurt the baby but i’m scared that my compulsions are bad. i’m using the baby to “test” if i get any feeling which makes me think i did something wrong. there’s an event and i can’t quite remember what i was thinking or feeling. i keep telling myself i sexual assaulted the baby by putting him on my private part to see if it felt good. i don’t even know if i actually did this or not because i’ve replayed it so many times. i know i was probably just playing with the baby on my lap and had an intrusive thought but that turned into somehow sexually assaulting him. i don’t know if anyone can relate like turning one event that wasn’t even bad or that you had a bad intrusive thought and that somehow turned into something much worse because i can’t remember what fully happened so i turned it into the worse possibility.

A few months I started getting this thought that I liked my brother’s friend! I kept hearing someone walking around, every time I looked it was my brother’s friend. And all I saw was his butt since then these thoughts have started. And I started getting anxiety, I felt guilty, I felt bad, crying daily. I have been in a relationship with my fiancé for just over a year (a year and 3 months) and we’re long distance and it makes me feel so guilty. I’m constantly worrying about it I’ve completely stopped talking to this guy. Cause I don’t want my head to say things I’m so drained by it. If I have other things on my mind I forget about it. Today I met the guy my Mum has been seeing. And my heads told me that I like him I walked past him to talk to my Mum. And I got really sweaty for no reason and my head said I like him. And that I’ve fallen in love with him. And I felt really upset and guilty. I’m happy with my man and my mum is happy with hers too. I don’t know what to do I’ve never been treated the way I am in my relationship. And these thoughts about liking other people are getting ridiculous. I don’t have the energy for it anymore I’m done with it, and I just want this to stop. My friends who I have spoken to about it one said “don’t let it get to you it’s your head mine is the same” and another said “you just feel lonely babe and you miss your partner” and also my Mum said “your just bored” I love my partner to pieces and it’s never changed.

Hello! I have been in a relationship for 8 years with my boyfriend, and I am trying to figure out why I am getting these obsessive thoughts about my boyfriend, and I am trying to learn how to not let them rule my life and my relationships. Because they are. I have a million thoughts a minute when I get annoyed by something he does. Oh where to begin! I have crippling OCD (and have had it since age 7), and it has always affected the relationships that I have in my life. ESPECIALLY my romantic relationships. Does anyone have any advice on the intrusive thoughts that are pounding in your mind when you are in your relationship? Thoughts such as: is he the one? Does he love me? Do I love him? Is there someone better? Is there a more perfect person? (This specific thought it toxic bc there is no such thing as a perfect man.) I also tend to focus on the negative. For example: things he does wrong, things he could do better. I want to think positive: focus on the amazing things about him, his amazing qualities. But my mind does not let me go there sometimes. It’s ruining me. I’m too focused on the future as well. These thoughts are making me almost resent my boyfriend… and 99.9% of these thoughts aren’t true at all and they are not making my life easy and it’s really effecting me. Thank you guys!

My ZOCD has been so bad this past week. I have no clue why. While I was reassurance seeking I came across this article about ZOCD that essentially used 'ZOCD' and Zoophilia interchangeably. As if implying they were the same. It triggered me so bad. I dont want to be a zoophile I don't want to do gross sexual things with animals nor do i see them sexually. My OCD uses my real events as 'propf' and I feel like such a freak for these intrusive thoughts and feelings that OCD keeps giving me. The last thing I'd ever want to do is harm an animal or even fantasize about them or anything like that. I feel so alone.

I feel at a loss. Mentally, emotionally and physically idk what I’m doing anymore or where I’m going. I don’t have any hobbies or motivation to even find anymore and when I start to get back into it things stop me and I lose the want. I love photography and film, but the energy and imagination is gone. I feel like I’m a shell of a person

Anyone intentionally trigger your ocd because you're so tired of it when you're not practicing erp? Does this make sense?

POCD has become the most exhausting and disturbing intrusive thoughts to me. It’s so frustrating because I would never do anything related to that in my life but now I can’t even look at my brother/his wife’s pictures of their kids because of the intrusive thoughts. I recently had an exhausting intrusive thought that I still haven’t completely gotten over since last Wednesday. I was at a restaurant with my friends, and I went to the bathroom and was waiting for a stall/urinal to open up. A kid walked out of one of the stalls, I did not say anything, I did not do anything at all but of course my intrusive thoughts started spiraling out of control saying “what if you just inappropriately touched him or grabbed him or said something messed up” and all sorts of stuff. It definitely did not help that we smoked weed before which I know made my anxiety spike even more with the intrusive thoughts. But I know I never did that and would never do such a thing, plus my friend was in the bathroom in the other stall and another random person was at the urinal so obviously if anything were to happen they would’ve been aware. But I made the mistake when I got home with going through my usual disproving process and listing all the reasons why I did not do that and why I never would do that and recalling all of the people who were in there with me and how they would’ve known if that happened and recalling small details like joking with my friend about “being that guy” because he was not about to wash his hands and him saying “usually I am that guy but since we’re about to get food I’ll wash my hands.” And then me holding the door for a random guy plus my friend and then my friend saying “see he’s that kind of guy” because he did not wash his hands. I know I wouldn’t be able to remember small details like that and just completely forget or be uncertain with something as serious as those intrusive thoughts. But the OCD keeps saying “how do you know for sure, are you certain, what if you’re suppressing it”? Does anyone else deal with this? If so, how do you get through this?

hey guys, my ocd is spiraling super badly. my cat has been having some issues with his kidneys and he has PLN. he likely only has a few months to live. this cat is my life. cats have bad reactions to ingesting lillie’s. my roommate has brought home flowers with lillie’s in them on two separate occasions. we didn’t immediately realize there were lillie’s in one of the bouquets a few months ago but she immediately put them into her room both times but still i regret not telling her to just throw them away. he rarely goes in her room. i have no evidence of him ever coming in contact with them or ingesting them. the vet said it’s very unlikely that the lilies are related to the current issues he’s having but this entire thing is sending me into a spiral. i’m blaming myself because of the lilies. i feel so guilty. i can’t seem to accept this uncertainty that i may have caused this. i know i’m looking for reassurance right now but i just need it. i can’t handle the guilt or these feelings and feel like an idiot.

Sharing my journey with everyone here, I must say that I'm better than I was months ago thanks to ERP and my persistence, I must admit that there are time when I think that it's over for me and there's no hope, these moments which we call setbacks are inevitable unfortunately and each setback is harder than the previous one but what I noticed that after each setback I emerge stronger and more resilient and I'm not gonna lie I feel it approaching again, I want to know how's everyone dealing with this disorder at the moment and what are the coping mechanisms you're using to alleviate the discomfort.

I’ve been dealing with OCD my entire life but over the past two years it has spiraled out of control at times. I deal with various subtypes, most commonly Pure OCD, Harm OCD, Real Event OCD, Perfectionism OCD and now within this past year POCD. For the Pure/Harm OCD it consists of things such as thinking I ran someone over while driving my car when I hit a bump in the road. I used to turn around like 15-20 times a week but now I don’t turn around at all. But these intrusive thoughts have been replaced with thoughts such as when I’m at the gym and it makes me think I inappropriately touched someone even tho I did not. Or if I’m walking by someone on the street/at the store it’ll make me think I inappropriately touched someone or physically assaulted them. I’ve never done anything like that in my life and I never would but I’ll catch myself repeating affirmations like “I never did that, I never will do that, I’m all good.” And I usually have to say it 3 times or in sets of 3 because that’s been my satisfying number for ocd throughout my life. The POCD one has become the most exhausting and disturbing though to me. It’s so frustrating because I would never do anything related to that in my life but now I can’t even look at my brother/his wife’s pictures of their kids because of the intrusive thoughts. And recently I had an exhausting intrusive thought that I still haven’t completely gotten over since last Wednesday. I was at a restaurant with my friends and I went to the bathroom and was waiting for a stall/urinal to open up. A kid walked out one of the stalls, I did not say anything, I did not do anything at all but of course my intrusive thoughts started spiraling out of control saying “what if you just inappropriately touched him or grabbed him or said something messed up” and all sorts of stuff. It definitely did not help that we smoked weed before which I know made my anxiety spike even more with the intrusive thoughts. But I know I never did that and would never do such a thing, plus my friend was in the bathroom in the other stall and another random person was at the urinal so obviously if anything were to happen they would’ve been aware. But I made the mistake when I got home with going through my usual disproving process and listing all the reasons why I did not do that and why I never would do that and recalling all of the people who were in there with me and how they would’ve known if that happened and recalling small details like joking with my friend about “being that guy” because he was not about to wash his hands and him saying “usually I am that guy but since we’re about to get food I’ll wash my hands.” And then me holding the door for a random guy plus my friend and then my friend saying “see he’s that kind of guy” because he did not wash his hands. I know I wouldn’t be able to remember small details like that and just completely forget or be uncertain with something as serious as those intrusive thoughts. But the OCD keeps saying “how do you know for sure, are you certain, what if you’re suppressing it”? I know that was a lot but I’ve just been so stressed out and would really appreciate anyone’s input. Thank you and have a blessed day!

My girlfriend and I have been through a lot over the past few months. We were eachothers crutch when one of us was struggling. We both have ocd and because of that, it’s easy to talk to one another about our feelings. I’m not going to be specific because it’s not necessary, but my girlfriend hurt me very badly and it hurt deeply. After the incident happened, we spoke and she initially apologized, and we made up. We were both struggling with personal issues however our relationship and love was still strong and still is to this day. Regarding my hurt, I understand the situation she was in and I know she never wanted to hurt me & I’ve told her that. However we’re both aware that just because I understand doesn’t mean it was okay of her to do what she did. After it happened it took time for me to not have only that incident on my mind. It ate at me and there was nothing I could do to fix it. I just had to wait it out. As of now I’m doing a lot better regarding it but sometimes I think of it & it just hurts me so bad. She’s not the same person she was before and I can’t be angry at her because it’s clear to me that she has completely changed & she makes me so happy. But sometimes throughout my day I’ll think about the hurt and it makes me physically sick, and makes me feel so weak and pathetic. My logical side understands that it’s something in the past and that I’ve forgiven her for what she did, and that as far as right now is concerned, everything between her and I is perfect to me. But I have had such a difficult time letting go. I think a specific thing that really causes me to hold onto it, is after she originally apologized, in various situations she would almost not take it seriously. Most of the time it was a conversation with another person and she was usually under the influence of something, but hearing her make light of that pain and in one instance even brag about an aspect of it… just destroyed me and made me feel like maybe she wasn’t truly sorry. When I would speak about it after the apology, she would get really frustrated with me and tell me that maybe it wasn’t the best idea for us to be together. All of that just made the apology seem fake or unmeaningful from her. There’s so many specific things that play into this situation that would make this a lot more understandable, but I can’t really do that. I have an understanding of her and the way she copes with things and due to that, although those instances of her making light or getting frustrated with me hurt me, I know logically that it’s not because she doesn’t care. She gets really defensive when she’s confronted and it comes from a place of her feeling as if she’s inadequate, and she was also hurt in the situation that hurt me, so I feel like her making light of it was more for herself and her personal comfort. Regardless of anything, the person that did all of this is so far gone from the person I’m with now, and it makes it hard because I’m still hurt by those things but the person who did them is completely gone. I’ve brought it up a few times over the past couple months and it’s clear that she feels guilt from it. Her and I’s relationship is nothing short of perfect to me. I couldn’t ask for anything more. She makes me feel like the most important person in her world and I know her love is real. And it’s reciprocated. My goal with all of this is to manage to find a way to not let those thoughts from the past run my mind and cause me to act out on the person she is now, due to pain from the person she was that she left behind. I’m very ocd with my thoughts of sadness and I tend to fixate on them and let them be present in my psyche. I don’t deserve that and neither does she. I want to be okay so I can be happy, and I don’t want her to feel like she’s still hurting me, because she isn’t. I need to figure out how to forgive the old her within myself.

Thinking aloud: I know that my mind is going to look for anything to confirm any paranoia or suspicions I have about friends not really caring about me, people dismissing my feelings and experiences, etc. But when I can write a timeline of how a relationship ended and how this person has gotten close to the people in closest proximity in my life, and have seen these relationships change, it’s excruciating. How do I know what is true? What can be shared or defended or justified? My inner critic keeps popping up reminding me that I can’t be upset about people or relationships that have changed since this mess (affair) ended because I never told them the extent of my suffering. Many of my friends don’t even know anything happened with this person, so when I don’t show up or my behavior is erratic and anxious and hard, I assume they just think I’m being flaky and fake. It kills me. The solution I’ve sought is to just move in trust at face value that if they do invite me somewhere they really want me there, or if they don’t it’s not personal. But then to navigate and answer to myself - it’s as if there’s no free invitations. “If I go and am anxious as hell I must be faking it - never honest to the people around me and butter when they can’t read my mind” “If I don’t go and honor my feelings, they may be offended or confused - I don’t feel free to tell them the full truth so they’ve slowly stopped inviting me” The spiral easily looks like - what’s the best move? Everything’s humiliating either way so which bullet is better to take? Am I selfish for sharing my story when it involves someone else? You’re selfish for sharing the truth and selfish for being hurt - you made the decision to not tell them. Even if you did, they’re entitled to their own responses. Frozen - unless I am convicted in one clear direction, the easiest thing is to not move. Miserable. “The truth will set you free” - at my core I believe in truth and owning it. Whatever it is. Warts and all, but the anxiety of sharing and fear of being rejected or accused is truly terrifying. Making myself a martyr it seems, and yet - there seems to be no way out.

My ocd has been flaring up and I’ve been doing many rituals to prove I’m not a pedophile. It is so mentally draining at the end of my shift and I really need help cope and control these intrusive thoughts because I love this job and I want to be the best for the kids. But I’m so tired

I am doing ERP. I've only been doing it less than a month but it has been very intense. I have sit day in and day out for weeks with the thought that I was abandoned by God. Reading my worse case scenarios. Reading scripture about being abandoned and praying to God why have you left me. This morning I feel a seed of hope if you will. Thoughts and anxiety are down. And it's scaring me. Is it OCD planting false hopes? I've been battling anxiety, diagnosed with major depressive disorder and scrupulosity and things seem different this morning and I don't know what to do with it because I know I can't go by feelings. Though this feels more like hope than just a feeling if that makes sense. Can anyone help me understand.