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Why are some days where OCD is intense and them there's other days where it isn't, like cmon man, just don't be intense for me forever 😭

Turns out Luvox does wonders for calming down my anxiety so I can focus on calling out and recognizing OCD :> If anyone is considering medication to help in their treatment, I’d recommend giving it a shot. If you can’t function, if everyone notices that you’re not okay, if you feel like you’ll never escape this trap, if erp and talk therapy are too hard because you’re anxiety is so overwhelming and all consuming… talk to a psychiatrist, or a therapist, or do some research. It really might be a tool you can use to manage this. All I know is, I feel like I’m finally able to really start getting my life on track, and I’m on a very low dose!

So I just picked up the guy I’ve been seeing from a night out, he was having a farewell drinks for his mate who’s off back to uni. I offered to bring him home since he didn’t have a lift, was an excuse for us to see each other and I always wanna make sure he’s safe. I’ve never seen him in this drunk state before and it was really cute and funny, but now I’m thinking too deeply about it. Basically one of the bartenders is someone he knows, she’s female and I know her as well we used to work together, but the entire ride back to his he kept going “and that fucjinf *her name* the cunt she kept giving me drinks she shout have. The bicth a year ago left my snap on read the bitch” and just kept talking about her and now I’m worried like do I have something to worry about with these 2? Is it stupid for me to bring it up? Or is it literally just me being jealous? Idk but I’m just a lil concerned he just kept brining it up. As well as a couple of other things I heard the same stories several times and I know he was hammered so I should stop thinking it but it’s hard when I’ve fallen so heavily for him and I’ve been worried for Days fhag be no longer feels the same way as me. I’m not sure what to do without coming across as a psycho. I’m stressed

I really just need some encouraging words not looking for reassurance.. this theme has come at me hard and the obsession is my 1 year old sister.. the thoughts won’t stop and it’s draining me.. that’s my baby and I would never hurt her but my mind is saying otherwise.. I just want it to stop all I can do is cry and pray.. any tips?

OCD makes me overthink until I hate my own hobby

Any tips? I've been terribly depressed the last few days and lost almost all motivation to do it because it seems way too painful right now. Plus I'm thinking I wont get better anyway.

Feels like I’ve done something stupid to a women drunk like extremely bad so I bet you can guess what it is, I don’t feel comfortable typing it. I don’t know if it’s OCD or that I actually done it the guilt feels like I’ve done it and causing extreme fear, what do you suggest please? There’s no way of finding out really unless I go to a police station, any help etc or suggestions what I could do next?

my psychiatrist freaked me out today and basically went against everything my therapist has told me that the themes don’t necessarily matter and said that maybe they go back to past trauma from childhood? I woke up already w intrusive thoughts about how I’m secretly in love with my best friend and will never be able to fall in love with a man and him saying this made it 10x worse. My chest hurts and my thoughts don’t feel like ocd thoughts. I thought I had been getting better but Ik feel so much worse. Why would he say this!?!?

I feel so awful. Getting off the bus today the bus driver told me I have to press the stop button or she wouldn't know to stop. Which is fair but every other day I've been on it nobody has pressed the button at my stop and she still stopped. I just wanna cry, I don't know if I'm just really sensitive (rejection sensitive?) but one small thing like that made me want to bawl. It's just put a downer on my whole day. I just feel like I didn't really do anything wrong given the circumstances? I don't even know how to feel better. I just feel like I've been scolded and it hurts.

So today was triggering. In my friends grouo there are like 7 people, 3 of them are lgbtq. One is lesbian, 2 are gay. We have just come back to school from the summer break, and they keep making jokes that i am not straight and that i am a lesbian. Its so triggering. I dont know how to react. Do i say “yeah totally” or “no i am nkt, stop saying that”? Because, my ocd tells me that either one will make it seem like I’m hiding something. I just think its sad that, as a straight person, i feel attacked by gay people trying to put a sexuality on me that I know i am not. I want to tell them to stop as it really triggers me, but i feel that if i do, they will then think “Yep she is definitely a lesbian”. I also know for a fact that if i was a lesbian, i would tell them straight away because those guys are gay. Again, ocd tells me i wouldnt. Also, i havent got trans ocd, but one of my friends who is gay makes jokes that im a a man and that i am transgender. Saying “Ur dick is showing” and stuff. My best friend, who is one of the gay ones lol, said today “We are lesbian lovers” which i just went with (he is a boy btw). I just went with it to tell my ocd that i dont care but its scaring me. We had PE today and it was telling me that i was attracted to my PE teacher who is a woman who everyone thinks is a lesbian. I can see why ocd latched onto her 😒. Shes like the head of our year group at school so i always feel like i have to impress her, but hocd tells me its cos i have a “crush” on her when i know i dont. And it alters the past too. Can anyone give me any advice here? Xxxx

After many months and many panic attacks I've figured out that my ocd was trying to tell me that l'm gay. At first it was just thoughts but now it's feelings, sexual urges and romantic attraction with no anxiety and stress. I do miss being straight not gonna lie but ima have to forget that now since I'm newly gay. I'm sorry to all the people I've reached out to. But aye on the bright side no more anxiety or stress and long sleepless nights. It don't mean ima go and start living a gay life ima just now live with the urges and take it to the grave. Yea I might never get a wife or kids like how I always wanted to do actually nah I can but if I can't love my wife and be sexually attracted then there's no point. If you know this is still ocd and you were in my position then plz Imk if not and I am really gay then it is what it is lmao.

Watching a video on ocd ./ and the lady was saying how someone with ocd will never act out their thoughts they are the safest people in the world ./ but as I was watching this I was thinking nor I would act on it I “want” to act on it and my groinal is going crazy at the time and am thinking wtff!!!!!

I’ve struggled with OCD for most of my life, but was only recently formally diagnosed this year. I had already been previously diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety and depression before then. I (very stupidly) decided to apply for a graduate school in my state because there was scholarship funds available. Essentially, I received the scholarship and now have a full ride to complete a graduate certificate program (5 3 credit hour classes with a 6 hour research project requirement) and it’s all online. Since starting, I’ve several panic attacks and I cry most days. I found a stress rash on my arm last night, which hasn’t happened in years. I dread waking up in the morning because I know I have school work to do, on top of my full time (40 hr/week) job. It took me 3 hours to write one discussion post this weekend, because I couldn’t stop rereading it and finding things I wanted to change. I have to make 7 posts total this week, so spending that much time on each post just isn’t feasible on top of all the other work I have to do for the course. I’m only taking one class at a time, meaning I won’t be done until the end of summer 2025 at the earliest. I feel so pathetic and weak that I can’t handle this program, but the more caught up I feel like I get, the more that’s assigned and the farther behind I get. On top of that, I am struggling with the reading requirements. I have trouble digesting anything I read and often get distracted. I found out that most of grad school is reading. I just don’t think I’m cut out for it. I think I need to drop the program, but feel ashamed and that everyone will think I’m lazy. My boss wrote me a letter of recommendation to attach to my scholarship application, so I’d have to tell him I’m dropping out and I will be so humiliated. I also feel like I’ll be losing out on opportunities in the future if I don’t just suck it up and complete the program. I’m just so tired and wish I wouldn’t have even applied for the scholarship and put myself in this position. I don’t know what the right thing to do is.

Lately I’m so terrified that I’m pushing people away I try my best to show people how much I care but I feel unimportant I’m so jealous of people with close family’s because I’m not close with mine and my sister and nephew that I was super close with passed away two years ago I just feel so alone sometimes and like the people who love me don’t really and that I’m just not enough I know I’m hard to deal with and I’m not around people often but sometimes it all just feels like to much and I’m so tired of the paranoia I face daily I’m scared to drink water because I feel like there’s always something bad in it I’m scared to eat because I think the food is bad I’m constantly checking things and I have to wash dishes multiple times and lately everything’s just been a bit hard I think I also am autistic so that’s really not helping my case because I can’t talk to people well and I don’t read social cues and it feels so hard to connect with people a lot of the time i also feel like nothing I do is good enough and that I don’t deserve anything good that happens I also feel that I have no independence and that I can’t make it on my own I do have a wonderful partner who supports me but they are also struggling and I don’t want to put any of this on them also I just really needed to vent to people who most likely understand thank you for reading

Good Evening 🌇 It’s my first day writing ✍🏼 to you all on this app. I’ve experience OCD symptoms since a child in almost every area of my life. When it came to body image, repeating mantras to make sure a family member would be injured for some random reason, spiritual and religious (thinking almost everything I do is somehow hurting my relationship with Source, when this is not reality) praying not stop until my eyes would blur so that I could fix things with G-D🙏🏼 Major fear of blasphemy etc…, There was school ocd when it came to memorizing studying and writing ✍🏼 particularly writing within the lines and not allowing myself sleep until I was sure I could get a 100% on the test/quiz/assignment; thus leading me to drop out of College mid-semester without explanation because the anxiety got unreal(all of my childhood ocd had built up to that agonizing point), as well as closing, locking, then unlocking, then re-locking doors multiple times to make sure so no intruder has a possibility to push the door in, not to mention gender & polite ocd thinking I have to open doors for anyone & everyone and pay for every thing even as a woman not allowing others to spot me, also repeatedly saying “I’m Sorry” & “Thank You” within no reason whatsoever, and so much more. I find it hard to express what I’ve written in the paragraph above because it’s hard to admit. It can be embarrassing 😳 especially to society and the people around. They might think I’m weird or crazy for doing these things, and so I had found ways to mask to keep myself and themselves comfortable, making outcomes of experiences easier to accept. That is so tiring to keep up with so… I’m ready for change. I’m ready to choose better. Looking towards better days. Days that I don’t have to rely on temptations that don’t help at all. Ocd can be difficult, especially on children who don’t know what’s happening. I assume I have trauma induced ocd to feel control over other things in my personal life that I could control, but this control mindset never made me feel whole like I’d wish. Rather it made me feel stuck in that endless void of having to reassure myself to feel present and okay. Accepting the Isness of All will lead the way. Everything is okay, and if it’s not okay, it’s not the end… just the beninging🫶🏼🙏🏼 I Love You❤️ You are such a beautiful being with great strength, proclivity, and intuition. It’s time to focus the energy we put into our compulsions into the things we actually Love to do & the person we Love Being. Thank You For Staying🫀 Thank You For Being 🙏🏼 For If You Hadn’t, I Wouldn’t Have Recognized The Divineness That You Are. 1 of 1

Firstly, i suffer from contamination ocd. But now i feel like ocd is everwhere in my life. I have starting thinking about every aspect of my life in a negative way. I overthink alot now. I feel i am not good enough and nobody is ever going to like me. I cannot even maintain healthy relationships. I am alone and i will be alone. Nobody understands me. Apart from that, i am mentally not healthy and feel unvalued. I feel so broken and hurt😭😭

Yesterday night, I had a hard time with POCD while watching anime and I started to ruminate because as we all know, OCD loves and feeds off uncertainty. Well I was aware my OCD was getting me to ruminate so I went and read this article my therapist gave me on rumination. It did help as it's a tool I keep handy but I wanted to become better prepared for the next time. I messaged my therapist asking if there was any ERP Rumination we could practice next session because it's kind of how I operate. I made a promise to myself that I would do anything I can do continue living my life with OCD. Well she messaged me back with a exercise I could practice out of session. I did NOT want to practice it at first because in the exercise, you make yourself uncomfortable ON PURPOSE and you sit with the anxiety and can respond with, "maybe I am...maybe I'm not🤷🏻‍♂️". We've done this style of exercise before and it really helped me. But with POCD I hate sitting in the uncomfortability and allowing those fears to just "be there". Well during prayer tonight it kind of hit me. I feel like making ourselves uncomfortable on purpose is one of the best things that helps In the long run. In doing that, I feel we take it to the OCD instead of it being able to punk us. Because that's what the OCD loves. Catching us out of nowhere and making us panic in the uncomfortability. Well if we work with our therapist on making the uncomfortability the "norm" in a sense...the next time we get faced with it, the easier it will be to not panic. Because if we work on making ourselves uncomfortable on purpose and are able to ride the wave of emotions, then the OCD is left "deflated". I feel then the OCD is like, "wait...they're making themselves uncomfortable..? That was my job and then cause them to panic and ruminate. Now they're taking my power from me?". To me, that's the power of working on sitting in that uncomfortability. By doing that, we take our power back from the OCD. Whatever sub-type you are dealing with, know you are not alone. OCD, man is a one trick pony. At the core of OCD is feeds off uncertainty and is being uncomfortable but We are all in good hands of NOCD. This is the best place to be. I've been dealing with OCD and multiple sub-types for over two years now (I think?) and I have my good days and my bad days. We have to learn to be compassionate towards ourselves. OCD is a terrible disease and those outside of OCD don't always know the severity of it. But as someone with OCD, it does get better. I'm honestly over-thinking as I'm typing this. Dealing with uncertainty. "What if I struggle, "what if I'm sending encouragement but fail", "what if xyz.." and so forth. But the heck with that. That cannot be my goal, or I feel anyone's goal with OCD. Trying to make ourselves go a single day, week, or month without intrusive thoughts, or compulsions makes it worse, in my opinion. To me, the best is to live one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time. The best judgement of success of dealing with OCD is us CONTINUING to live OUR lives the way WE want. Doing the things WE want and not letting the OCD dictate or direct our steps. Much love and God Bless💚

I’m so worried - convinced, even - that I’m gonna end up actually doing something really wrong… I was doing so well recently. My head was clear and I actually felt okay about myself. I was excited about some things for once. My POCD had mostly shut up though I still worry about it (for example, my “urges” regarding searching for inappropriate things with children/teens online - the only thing that keeps me less afraid there is the fact that it’s illegal and hard to find. But that shouldn’t be a comfort - I shouldn’t want to see that! I shouldn’t wonder if I’d like that! I should be opposed but I just don’t know that I am!) And now my ZOCD has come in really bad (it’s usually super quiet and easily ignorable but it’s raging now). I had an “urge” (not sure if it is one or not but I don’t know if I’ve ever had a stronger one than this) to do something very wrong to my dog. Like that’s abuse!! That’s wrong!! But what if I like it anyway, or at least the thought of it? That’s not supposed to happen!! I was never like this before! Why does it take over my whole brain and make it feel like that urge is all I can focus on? I’m almost convinced I have a genuinely taboo paraphilia. I know OCD always wants to tell you you’re the exception but I truly do feel like it may be worse than just OCD in this case. And I mean, I guess if I did have a paraphilic disorder, it wouldn’t be my fault. It’s out of my hands (provided I never act on any of it whatsoever) - but people would still want me dead regardless. I’d still be unloveable. People wouldn’t even want to be around me, let alone be friends with me or anything more. I’ve seen that it’s not curable either - you’re stuck with it for good if you really do have it. And if they knew, people would still blame me for not being “fixed” or tell me the only fix is to die. It’s like I’m cursed. Forever immoral and disgusting even if I don’t do a single thing. All I know for sure is that I didn’t ask for this. It’s so unfair. I want to be normal. I want to be happy. I wanna like normal things and get back on track in life (I don’t even enjoy my hobbies nowadays. I feel listless, apathetic, and fatigued. I forget things and I have no motivation to go on). And I can’t even escape it by ending it all - I have people who need me still and I still have responsibilities. I can’t just end it and leave them to pick up the pieces (I’m worried I’ll stop caring about that at some point though). And I feel scared to die but maybe that’s just what I have to do to make sure I don’t screw up. I’m just so afraid I’m some disgusting person who’s going to cause harm and be irredeemable, like an out of control monster. And therapy’s still out of the picture (can’t afford it for myself and I can’t tell my family about this - not like they’d be able to afford it either). Maybe one day I can escape all of this, one way or another, but not just yet I guess… I just hope I don’t do something awful before that point.

But since last year when I had a travel going completely wrong (i got COVID) I started to Always think that my travels Will go wrong Always now. The fact Is that my next travel went horribly too, ended up in the hospital twice for panic attacks. i have health ocd and magical thinking. I'm convinced someone threw a spell on me and now every time things Will go bad. Next week I have to travel again, I'm having already panic attacks and Guess what??? Today i got fever and severe cold. I don't know what to do, i'm panicking i'm convinced everything Will go bad again and that I truly have an evil spell on me. Can't stop thinking about It and It makes me mad.

Well I guess no one could help! No one is going through what I am so I guess this wasn’t ocd after all … so I guess there’s no point been on this forum because it’s a insult to all you suffers … not that you’ll want any words from me but I do wish youse all the best in your recovery!! My journey with thinking I had ocd ends here I guess god bless use just want youse to know I never wanted to be this person and I wasn’t this person for 29 years of my life goodbye NOCD !