- Date posted
- 7y
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working to conquer OCD
I’ve lost my interest in men. I’ve been telling myself what if I’m gay for over a year now and I feel like I’m gay now. I feel like my biggest worry is coming out now. In my religion and culture it’s wrong and I don’t want it. It all started as a movie scene last year. I’ve accepted it I’ve given up. I feel like I’ve been in denial the past a year. I’m on tinder looking at girls now cause I don’t know anymore. Now I can’t seem to find someone I’m interested in I can’t see myself kissing a girl or sleeping with one. I just truly believe I’m gay and I have to call my mom and come out. I want to cry. I’m nervous idk what’s real. Am I gay? Or is this ocd? Am I bi? Should I come out? Was my life a lie? Am I in denial cause it’s unacceptable? Will my parents love me? If I’m worried about them then it’s cause I’m in denial right? Ugh I want to die.
I’m new to being as open with my ocd as I have been in the past, and I think this is the place to feel safe. I’ve been tackling my ocd with ERP (exposure response prevention) and it’s been extremely successful in the past and now. Just right now, and I’m about to start new medicine for my ocd that I’m hopeful about, I just feel tired. I’m making myself get up and do things but it’s almost like my body is on one big come down from maybe all the anxiety added up over the weeks. It’s just making me feel slumped and like I could almost start feeling depressed. I just wanted to know if anyone had any personal successes on how to overcome this feeling. Thank you all and much love to all who deal with this.
Just typical isn't it. Finally find a private psychotherapist who I believe Could really help me in this battle to overcome my harm ocd, they even said they are very used to treating this particular type of ocd with success, and I just can't afford it £70 a session I told them I can't afford it they don't offer discounts but were willing to do it for £65, I still can't afford it. Feel so stuck. Suppose I'll just have to continue in my search
Has anyone tried the anti-inflammatory diet and has it helped your OCD?
Anyone else feel like nothings real. Nothing looks real feels real it's such a hard thing to explain. I feel like I'm on drugs and I don't like it. The only meds I'm on at the moment are diazapam I don't know if it's that making me feel this way. It usually just numbs me. I think not going out for so long has a lot to do with it. Everything just looks and feels different and so unreal.
My religious OCD is really draining me. I feel very disconnected from God because I think everything I do is wrong in his eyes. Like if I don’t have only Catholic, straight, etc. friends then He’s mad at me. I just want to feel connected to him again and not feel like I’m disappointing him.
anybody else starting somewhere new in the next few days? school, work, etc? im starting at a new school and sweet baby jesus im nervous obviously im a little nervous about what people i’ll be meeting and what the next few weeks are gonna be like but mostly im afraid of being afraid, ugh! i think thats the essence of panic disorder, right? when i panic i feel like throwing up (never do, just feels like it) and so im afraid of the panic attacks because i feel sick (and i have a fear of vomiting) whenever i fear panicking, ive obviously already started the panicky reaction, duh! and then i worry about worrying myself into a panic attack! i could keep going! i just really want to have a good first day, man, just with the general amount of jitters everyone has. i dont think im the only one that feels like this hahahaha.
I can’t stop confessing past mistakes to my mother. This has been an on and off problem for years. I’m currently not on medication because I just moved back to the US and have no insurance, so I’m stressed with full flared up ocd. Once I confess one thing and get relief, I think of other things to confess even if it will upset my mother. She was a controlling perfectionist mother so even as an adult I feel like I wasn’t able to have my own individuality and I never got to trust myself making my own decisions and opinions, because my mom would brainwash me that she knows best and she used to flip out a lot when I grew up if things didn’t go perfectly. Now she is more calm and is somewhat self aware of what she does so some things I tell her don’t surprise her anymore, but I always think of something new and saying “what if this time she will react differently and I don’t get the reassurance I need”. So I lose sleep over it and cant even function the next day. The past few years I confessed here and there but after my traumatic breakup recently my ocd is in full swing and I can’t stop.
I’m having a bad day today. I am fearing the worst about my health now. Even with therapy and 4 hours of exposures each day I am not getting better. :(
I’m really just starting to believe my thoughts. Being with a girl doesn’t bother me anymore. But does that mean I’m lesbian now?? I’m at a point where I don’t know what I want. I’m still with my boyfriend and I don’t plan on leaving him. But I’m thinking to much right now I’m sweating. I don’t know what to do anymore. Is this normal ? To not feel any disgust towards the same sex thoughts? Like if I like it or something. Has anyone gone through this? Please answer I’d appreciate it.
Anyone else have trouble trusting mental health professionals after wrong diagnoses/treatments?
Anyone else taking sertraline or any other ssri?
" I've seen and read that bisexual people find out they are like that later in life (Compared to homosexual people) and that it isn't a phase, that they deny it their whole life and suffer because of it, and that some people with HOCD were truly bisexual and deny homosexual yearnings but they live in a lie their whole life because of treatment." This has been a scare I've had because I've always had that fear of "what if I'm one of those people" , Then my brain is like "you know it'd be fun, you know your open to sex with a woman " . Then combine that with lesser anxiety and it feels real.
Does anyone else obsess about sexual frequency and google “average sexual frequency of couples” and then obsess that being lower than average is an indication of “living a lie” or being “gay”?
Another day searching for a private therapist with no luck. I have never felt so unheard, misunderstood and alone. Although I know I'm not alone, posting on this app to people who understand the suffering. I am close to breaking point and honestly don't know how much longer I can cope. Each time I contact a therapist they come back to me saying they can't deal with my particular problem they don't have enough experience. Still on a very long waiting list with the NHS despite pushing and making them aware of how severe my situation is their only solution is for me to go to A&E. Honestly can't cope any more
Hi everyone I'm new here so I need to get used to things round here is there anyone experiencing blasphemous and sexual thoughts about God and the holy ghost or even has experienced it because I am and I would like to overcome these thoughts is there any advice you can give me is there any websites that will be able to help me overcome this any help will be appreciated please help me I just want these thoughts to go away thank you in advance
Hey nocd community! Nocd is featuring my advocacy work in their newsletter today, thank you nocd!❤️ So today I’m available to answer any questions you may have about Pure O or being a Peer Support Specialist. I can’t answer any clinical or diagnostic questions, but I’m happy to answer any questions about lived experience!
So honestly the worst part of (what I think is) my OCD is the "groinal syndrome"... My intrusive thoughts were fading, but now all the doubt is creeping back in because of it. I know that I'm not what my thoughts try and persuade me I am. My whole identity is much more solid now than it was when I was at my worst. But at the same time, the anxiety is still there and the groinal response thing has started to come back recently... I try not to do anything compulsive but a lot of my compulsions are mental ones so I find myself doing them before I can even stop myself. Am I just going to be stuck with the anxiety & the physical manifestations forever?? Because even now, after I have learned about OCD, and after things started to get better, I am still experiencing it. I'm terrified to get a diagnosis too, in case they tell me it's not OCD or in case there's nothing they can do to help me :/ Ach I hate this all so much ?
Having a lot of OCD right now. It’s actually sending me into an anxiety attack. I’m so afraid I have lost my mind or about to lose my mind. My thoughts are so intense as well. I could use some positive words or some comforting words. I have harm OCD, fear of schizophrenia, as well as Religious OCD. I feel like they are all happening at once and I can’t calm my mind. I think it has to do with my period but I’m not sure.
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
OCD doesn't have to
rule your life