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Does this work? I’m having such a hard time with ERP. We haven’t done an exposure yet but my anxiety is through the roof about it. I want to quit. Does it get better? Does it actually help?

I live on this small island … very small. Since I was in 2nd grade I have no memories but remember my feelings. I HATED it here. Like seriously I’d constantly wish I could run away and move. So I don’t feel suffocated and trapped. My situation with my parents didn’t help. I wanted to leave everybody, everything, just…..fade? I thought of how it might be to have parents that care about you. Your feelings… your thoughts. It’s been just me and my imagination, my inner voice and all of my thoughts for years. I’d drift away and talk to myself in my head constantly making scenarios or imagining things. Anything to not be in the moment I guess. But now sadly it’s something constant that I can’t fully control. I drift away when I need to be aware and attentive; forgetting what I’m doing or how to do something. Having to re-focus and not drift away again! Little me…. Trapped on this island no friends and nothing to do finally cracked around the time covid started. Online wasn’t for me making everything 10x worse. I couldn’t focus on anything at all, my memory empty, listening to words…. what’s that? It’s like I forgot how. I was— in my own words “brain dead” completely not here. So that year I failed…. Got held back a grade. At this point I’m devastated but I come back into reality? Like my brain has teleported. The shock from my failure waking me up. Oh to be aware…. The depression. It all hit me crushing me killing my brain… I had been depressed that whole year but I just slept and ignored it so me having realized my feelings I’m now broken? Fast forward I end up in the same grade but depression doesn’t help so I basically give up. I fail but got put in an alternative school to make up the grade so I don’t get held back again (thank god). I was somewhat smart ig… before covid at least. I got all As without ever studying or trying because everything just “made sense” in my brain. I get into this alternative school and we take these assessment tests, they basically told me that I scored very high and they’d like to take the chance of sending me to 9th without me having to make up my 8th credits that year. An opportunity! I say yes, though it was a hard year I made friends and lifted myself up at the end. Now I’m in 10th and still hate it here but i can bear it. Or can I? I’ve thought of moving to Tennessee after high school to live with my grandma who is walking distance of the university, everything is really convenient and I’d love to be close to family because it’s something I value. But last week I went to Tennessee with my mom just for a week and realized how much moving now and finishing my two years in the states would benefit me. I’m very serious about what I want to do and my aunt is also in the same career field. She told me she could help me with those opportunities and even get me some other opportunities where I can make money while in school those years. I would have a jumpstart on feeling comfortable in that state and would already be familiar and established. Meeting people and making friends is wayyyy easier in high school too which I feel I’d be more open to doing than if I were to move when I’m 18. I could also join more sports and find hobbies that I enjoy while they also help me stay active.But my father just doesn’t care. He won’t think of how I can benefit and wants me to be “safe”. He’s not open minded about it and basically established his answer… NO. I feel like a whiny teenager but god I haven’t been this passionate in forever and think that this is my chance to stand up on my own feet. I hate it here and staying gives me no benefits so comparing these options to me is a no brainer. I hate to admit it but my aunt also gives me that feeling of having a parent that I’ve been yearning for my entire life. She’s so helpful and understanding. She doesn’t shame mental health and weirdly obsessed with being natural like my dad is. She truly cares and I can feel that. I want it…. I’m upset that my father won’t let me have that. Sorry for the long rant but, any advice?

I’m having multiple different themes of existential OCD, goes from “what if we in dream, simulation, alien world, what if people are clones” I know how ridiculous they sound but I’ve had these in the past as well. But as you know with OCD these unwanted thoughts become attached and you obsess over them. Recently the harm OCD is also around and says “what if my family are clones and that I can hurt them since they not real.” It’s weird that it’s only really on my mom and brother because I spend the most time with them and care about them so much. It’s giving me extreme anxiety and stress because I would never do anything to hurt them and it’s really only for them. Why does OCD attach only to the people you care most about and try to destroy things. Is this a common thing with it, like why is it only on my mom and brother but not dad. Can anyone relate or let me know if this is a thing with OCD.

Am I the only one who experiences mental imagery like this????

Can someone pls tell me. I’m in a 9 month rs and for the last month I’ve strted getting these thoughts. It tells me that I’m not attracted to my girl and it feels so real. I know I love her more than anything. Now it gives me thoughts like “ur gay and ur ruining her life, ur not into her, ur into guys u are gay and ur abt to ruin her life” and these thoughts are giving me so much distress. The thought of another man claiming her or sleeping w her pains me and makes me angry. I cannot see her happy w another guy. I love her so much and I want to marry her one day and make her the mother of my kids. Is this normal in hocd ? Can someone pls tell me.

I feel like I want to reach out and find answers. All my life I’ve had these little images of fake scenarios play out in my head while I live my life. I hate how they’re always disgusting thoughts like me constantly committing suicide or imagining the death of others “if something were to happen”. It’s always there that thought those images and I’ve just learned to accept them but then again why are they there? Last night I had somewhat of a breakdown, when I get anxious I scratch my scalp and it calms me down because it’s what my body wants to “feel”. But it just wasn’t doing it that literal and imaginary “itch” just wouldn’t leave. It drove me crazy from that I then got overwhelmed by my clothing, my sheets, the air? I just want that feeling or me having to do something so I “feel right” to go away. It’s suffocating and lately has been taking a huge toll on me. I do think me not understanding isn’t helping too.

Has anyone overcome their false memories? Mine feel so real I am losing hope. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to accept them, the methods they have for ocd don’t really help. Please don’t respond if you will just say I am asking for reassurance.

Is there a big link between ADHD and ocd? The longer my OCD struggle continues the more I think I might be ADHD and that OCD manifested from this

The opposite of doubt isn’t certainty, it’s trust! Let go of the struggle ❤️

I posted this earlier but got no response, and feel at my breaking point Welp I guess what happened with the extinguisher in the closet two weeks ago wasn't enough of an example to me cause I did something similiar and even worse and am still doing it as we speak. I was leaving for class this morningand picked up some socks in the closet. And I noticed some garbage bags halfhazardly stacked up in the closet and I placed some cardboard under the doors as doorstops to prevent my cats from opening them and the bags to fall on them, my parents probably put them in there. I left in a hurry cause I was about to miss my bus and a minute or two before getting on the bus I realised I didn't know what was in the bags and it could have been more than just clothes and whatever, so I panicked and thought to myself I should not get on and go back home to remove them from the closet but I still got on and then when I reached university, I thought I would get the first bus home but I called my parents saying that they shouldn't open the closet since there were garbage bags in it that might fall or to at least not let the cats out the kitchen where they sleep and then I still went to class even though it's not an important class, and I'm still in the class right now and debating if I should leave. I know my parents won't care and will still open to my cats and open the closet, it's pretty much the exact same situation as with the extinguisher except now I willingly still went to class and staying in class what the hell I am doing, I am not concernedabout my cats' safety???????

I have a question. Would hocd trigger if someone said somin bad abt gays. I’m not gay at all but I get intrusive thoughts abt it and it’s ruining my day. But if someone says somin bad abt gay ppl why does that trigger me. It’s like my thoughts say to me “oh look ur gay they don’t like u, they will hate u.” Idk does anyone else go through this ?

How do I stop thinking about him and obsessing over what we want had. I keep reliving things over and over and over I find myself literally begging him. Losing all my self-respect. The pain is so extremely great. It hurts so bad.

Let me know how you’ve been with a heart and sum it up into one word. And I’ll send a message back x 💛 Amazing 💚 Good 🧡meh 💙bad

I'm just curious what some of y'all might do to pass the time? I typically get off work by about 4pm everyday, go home, eat something and then just wait to go bed. I basically just do instagram, youtube, facebook or video games during that time but obviously that's not very productive.

Hi all - I’ve posted a bit of late as I’ve been struggling. I was hoping if someone could confirm my insight into my condition. Very brief - was 25, in a newish relationship, infatuated. Had some performance issues, then literally overnight a thought popped in “you don’t feel anything for her”. After months of obsessiveness and loss of libido, another thought “you are gay” and it’s been almost a decade of struggle. My main obsession seems to be that my mind feels convinced it’s true, despite not seemingly having ever had any natural attraction or desire of men. So here comes what I think is insight. OCD is a broken fear mechanism that’s reinforced by behaviour. I fear that I am or might be gay = lots of feared consequences (hurting my wife as a big example). My mind will auto focus on ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING that might prove I am gay. And that’s it’s job - it thinks it’s a dangerous outcome and therefore needs to search for certainty that it’s either true or not true. I think when I’m saying “it feels real and true” what I’m actually experiencing is OCD doing it’s job. It’s making sure I take it (the threat) as serious and will find anything it can to make sure I am listening so I can protect myself. The libido side of things - this seem to be pretty consistent with any form of anxiety. My anxiety gets so bad I dry reach. I’m not sure anyone can think about positive sex when they’re that wound up? Lastly the treatment side - ERP works because the OCD part of the brain doesn’t learn through thought. It learns through action/behaviour. The more I behave in a way that shines a spotlight on this ‘fear’ the more it (ocd) it taught the fear still could be real and needs to be dealt with. One of the hardest parts for me that my head focusses on sometimes is - what’s the difference between how I’m feeling with OCD vs someone that comes out later in life? Can others check my insight above? Does it sound correct? Thanks

I can't share some of my intrusive thoughts. I'm too ashamed. I think if I did to some people then the relationship would be over. I've shared some with my husband and he was supportive, but he's at the end of his rope now. I'm not functioning either and that's making him angry. I'm at the end of my rope as well. Any advice??

I’m living in Central America, and they recently had an election. Possibly some are trying to obstruct the president-elect from taking power, and they’ve shut down our town’s electricity, closed the shops down, and we can’t hardly buy anything right now. I have a community here that I’m apart of, so we should be fine when it comes to support and food. Idk how long it’s going to last, and things are probably going to be just fine for me and my family and others, but we’ll see. Take care everyone.

I feel like shit... For context, my cats mostly live in the kitchen (not my decision) and I told my parents weeks ago not to put forks and knives in those silverware cups on the sink as I was afraid my cats would get hurt when jumping on the sink and to store them in the oven instead (we don’t use it for cooking). My room and the kitchen and next to each other and so are out windows so I’ve developped the fear of my electronics emitting EM waves or ultrasounds when using or charging them, or just regular sound while watching youtube videos, that my cats might get curious about and thus jumping on the sink which is right next to the kitchen window and that they might hurt themselves if a knife or fork was left there. I also developped a fear of not leaving food in room in fear they would smell it and once again jump on the sink. This afternoon, I thought to myself I would remind my parents they should not put silverware in the cups on the sink once they woke from their nap, as they have a tendency to forget or downplay my fears over time. If you’re wondering, I didn’t go and check myself if they had respected my wish so far since I can’t close doors if I know my cats are on the other side of said door since I’m afraid to stuck their paw in the closing door or at least some of their hair and hurt them without being able to know (I know they might yell in pain but I can’t convince my brain they won’t hide away their pain as some cats do, and just having hait isn’t immediately painful until they eventually try to get away from the door and pull on it). So I took the bet that they respected out agreement until I could go check for myself once they woke up and plugged some of my electronics that I needed for tomorrow’s class (I had recently broken my good charging cable for my tablet and had to use the shitty one that sometimes doesn’t even fully charge my tablet overnight so I decided to charge it in the middle of the afternoon, also my phone that I only charge once every week and used my pc in the meantime which makes even more EM waves), I reallly thought they would be understanding but when I went to check the kitchen, one HUGE knife with the saw-like cutting edge was sticking out of one of the cups and my heart dropped... I might have hurt my cat by using and charging all my electronics all afternoon and eating snacks they might have smelled and feel terrible because I could just have waited a few hours before doing all that and my electronics would have probably been charged anyways in the morning and I wasn’t that hungry, I feel terrible. Also this morning while I still was half asleep, I thought about moving my airpod charging case further away from the window while it was charging my earbuds but didn’t and thought my cats wouldn’t pick up in the charging sound but after a few minutes trying to fall back asleep I heard a cat yelling out of my window and felt bad cause it might have been one of my cats but could also have been a stray cat a’d will have no idea ever. I keep making shitty decisions and am a garbage human being and keep hurting my pets...

Any advice on how to not get too discouraged after performing a compulsion. Last week was so hard because I really dedicated myself to not giving into compulsions, as the week went on I started feeling a little better. This week has been difficult for other reasons that have taken a toll on my mental health and I’ve given into a few compulsions. I’m trying not to feel too discouraged but I just feel like all the progress I made is out the window 😞

3 years ago when my boyfriend and i were dating my best guy mate kissed my forehead when saying bye on my birthday I thought i was so weird but i didn’t overthink it as one of my other guy friends did this to us too (rarely) He did it again a few months later to me and my best friend when saying bye and it was again weird but we didn’t look into it too much and continued with our night Do i tell this to my boyfriend now? I feel so guilty i should’ve told my friend to back off He hasn’t done it since that time^ and im not close to him anymore Im on holiday with my boyfriend tomorrow and i feel so guilty