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I literally Dont. And I have no one to talk to. My husband hates me and yells at me about my ocd daily so much so that I’ve started hurting myself again. I don’t know what to do. I haven’t cut myself in years. But I have been doing it for the last week. I can talk to my dad but he thinks I am normal. And I don’t want to ruin that. I haven’t talked to my mom in almost a year and she has ocd and she’s a narcissistic and just so mean. I am lost and feel like there no reason to try anymore. It’s all been hell since I can remember being alive. I wish I was never born.

Hi everyone, I wanted to come on here and give everyone some hope with their OCD journeys. I have struggled with ocd since I was 10 years old, intrusive thoughts that confused me, I didn’t know what they were or why I was having them. I was just 10 years old and had to overcome a monstrous disease that I didn’t even know existed prior. And since then I have had a long journey with ocd as I am now 23 years old. Multiple therapists that all told me “yep you have OCD”, and multiple strategies to overcome this disease. I’ve had many ups and downs throughout these last 13 years. I wanted to let everyone know that it does get better. Even when it seems like it may not, even when it seems like you’ll never live a happy comfortable life again. I promise you it will. Do not give up on yourself, you are so much stronger than you think you are. Over these passed 13 years I have struggled with just about every single type of OCD there is (not all of them are listed within my profile). I thought I would never live a normal life again. The thoughts were so scary and disturbing and debilitating. There was times where I couldn’t leave my house, couldn’t concentrate on school, failed all my finals because my ocd was overpowering everything. I am finally at a place where I can live a normal happy life and it is cause I never gave up and kept pushing through. I promise you can all achieve this too, I never thought I’d be able to, but here I am. This doesn’t mean I don’t still have hard days, of course I do, but I am able to recognize these thoughts do not define me and I ignore them, rather then reading so deeply into them. As someone with OCD I know that it comes and it goes and who knows how I will be feeling in a few months or years from now. I believe in all of you and you are not alone. This is just a time in your life that will get better if you keep putting in the work with therapy and erp. Believe me I know this is much easier said then done. Just because therapy or erp isn’t working for you doesn’t mean you aren’t trying hard enough because trying to tackle this disorder can be a journey to say the least. You are doing an amazing job. Just know that everything can get better over time. Take this journey day by day. My best advice is to allow the thoughts to enter your brain. The more you try to stop thinking about something the more that thought is going to want to continue. Just accept the thoughts, laugh at them, don’t take them seriously. Again, coming from someone with severe ocd I know this is easier said then done but I believe in all of you. OCD will never fully go away, it’s a part of us. The thoughts will still come every now and then but you’ll just know how to navigate them better and they won’t eat you alive anymore. You aren’t defined by your thoughts. You are a good person. And you can get through this I promise you. Much love to all and I wish everyone the best on their OCD journey!

My boyfriend’s mom heard me speaking during my therapy session one time (long time ago), she stayed in our house for a while, we used to live with my bf’s sister and her gf and she was very close to me, so she told me that my bf’s mom was telling her that she heard my conversation with my therapist and that I was speaking with another guy, she said that because in that session I told my therapist that I was confused because a friend of my brother was texting me and I was afraid that maybe I like him or something, I always spoke to him in a friendly way and then I cut the communication, but I remember saying in that session that I didn’t know if I like him and that it was attractive. The thing is that I’m afraid that she will tell this to my bf, she never spoke to me about it and never told my bf but I’m afraid that she will tell him now, also I have the thought that she didn’t accuse me because she knows that my bf cheated on me or something like that. I just don’t understand why she never told my bf, I think is weird and maybe she didn’t tell him because my bf did something bad in the past and she knows :(

My bf and I have been together for 6 years and im having trouble connecting with him. I’ve suffered from hocd and rocd for like 3 years now (maybe longer, who knows) but I feel like this is an actual issue? So I enjoy sex with him but my love language is quality time and snuggling. Sex is great but sometimes I look forward to the end of sex because then I know it means we can snuggle closely and enjoy each others company without the worry of him initiating it again. Because usually when I touch him and get close to him, he’ll get ‘excited’ and make advances basically 9 times out of 10. And when I tell him I just want to cuddle, he acts different: not in a douchebag way but he just falls silent and doesn’t really say much. His sex drive is higher than me so now I have an automatic assumption that when we are talking or I touch him in the slightest way, he’s only thinking about sex and not genuinely invested in our conversations. Anyways, just wanted to do a little rant. If any of you could relate that would be nice to hear.

Today once work was closed, this couple came to the door I was the only one there so I greeted them and explained we were closed and notice a cold sore on the lady’s lip. I have a HUGE phobia of cold sores and I’m constantly looking at peoples lips so I noticed right away. As soon as our conversation was over my thoughts just started going crazy “what if I accidentally touched it” even though I know I didn’t. Noticing cold sores puts me in such a weird mood I just shut down. I normally call my parents for reassurance however it’s late where they live and they are asleep. So I told my boyfriend but sometimes he doesn’t understand and as a joke said “are you sure you didn’t touch it” which only triggered my thoughts even more. I feel extremely sad, scared and just ruined my night I can’t stop thinking of it and I’m scared she’ll come back tomorrow and I’ll have to see her there. Idk what to do to feel better :( Any advice helps.

Deuteronomy 17:11 says that we should “Act according to whatever (priests) teach you and the decisions they give you.” I am convinced a priest told me I am supposed to be anxious or to kill myself. Why would God say to listen to someone if what they say isn’t true? Is everything a priest says true? Im so scared I might kill myself.

I'm older already but my fear is that I may have had undiagnosed pandas/pans as a teenager since I had a very severe ocd onset and even had strep infection and severe stomach issues about 3-5 months prior. My fear is that if I do have it and it was left untreated(20 yrs later) I'm going to eventually get psychosis/tics( other symptoms)or worse even though I've actually been improving in ocd. I've been doing a lot better but this just made me feel soo anxious bc this fear came back after years and now I'm even becoming afraid of psychosis again....I saw a doc in the past but I can't remember clearly bc it's been so long....another doc also never gave me a direct answer

So months ago I had pretty bad pocd and later on I realized my mind was just lying to me and logically ik for a fact I’m not a ped0 but the fact that I even had those thoughts and had the obsession fills me with so much guilt and shame because it’s not a normal thing to have anxiety about and I feel horrible still and so alienated from everyone around me and I don’t even feel like myself still it follows me around everywhere I go and it’s a constant reminder that I thought I was a ped0 at some point. In this moment I really don’t know how to move past it and not feel shame or guilt or feel like a normal person.

Me and my boyfriend just got into a bad argument and I genuinely, OCD aside, think some of the things he said were really messed up and I don’t know how to recover from it. It feels like a massive red flag and I hate admitting that.

Since the birth of the Internet and doom and gloom news, obviously we are fed the narrative that this world is the worst, people are the worst, the system and cards are all stacked against us and that life is stupid and pointless. ... Just a lovely way to start your day. And with those if us here with OCD, it eats that narrative up! You could be in danger at any moment! Be convicted for a crime you didn't know you committed! Get a devastating diagnosis! Experience a natural disaster! Look at all the people that these things happened to! It happens all the time and happens wayyyy more than the good stuff that happens. Be afraid! And since I've been on Zoloft and retraining my brain not to just noom towards the negative siren song that is the general media, I've realized something. Life is also really cool. Yes, obviously, terrible unfair horrifying things happen. Believe me I think everyone is very very aware of that to what I assume is an unhealthy degree. And acknowledging the good things that happen doesn't negate and disrespect those who are suffering. It doesn't mean you're putting your head in the sand. You are giving yourself permission to find reasons to keep going. Find reasons why this world is worth fighting for. Find for solutions that actually worked! Today someone experienced a breakthrough in their life that made everything better. Some where someone finally got justice after so long. Someone somewhere accomplished their dream. Someone overcame a medical hurdle. Someone took in a stray cat and now the kitty has a warm safe home. People out there who made organizations dedicated to cleaning up oceans, finding ways to get rid of plastic, stopping human traffickers, and finding a cure for cancer are making our world safer at this moment all because of the kindness of their hearts. Good things do happen. And a good life doesn't look the same for every person. Some people say they are content and found ways to live comfortably in prison. There are people who are dealing with chronic illness who have found happiness in their life and want to keep living. There are homeless people who are quite literally happier because they were able to escape from their abusive household and though life is harder in a different way, they are experiencing freedom for the first time. Happiness and peace cannot be reliant on your surroundings, happiness and peace is reliant on your mind and perspective. The ability to adapt to your environment. I feel that once we realize this, our what ifs become small because "maybe of the horrible things happens then my life will be unlivable. But maybe it won't because not every person experiencing those circumstances is miserable even if it's hard." A majority of our fear comes from the worry we won't be able to adapt if our environment changes. I don't blame you. I don't want to get hurt, go to prison, lose those I love. Those are all valid feelings. But if you can have the confidence that even if what you might go through is hard and difficult, that you can survive it, that makes a difference. If you see people choosing to keep going even in the toughest circumstances, you realize maybe the picture really isn't as bleak as you thought. Maybe a good life doesn't always look one way. Just a ray of hope to rain on OCDs parade. Things could happen, but who said you won't be able to survive them? You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.

To my ROCD friends Does anyone struggle with the inability to make a decision. Part of me wants to get back together with my ex but I’m scared for a variety of reasons. For example, I’m meeting a family friend who I find attractive in two weeks, what if I end up being into him? Just this constant fear of wanting something but also not wanting to hurt anyone. It sucks having these thoughts and feeling like you could never be loyal or that it “can’t be your person” if you have these type of thoughts. It’s a struggle

Hi all, It’s been a really long time since I’ve been on here and I’d consider that a great thing. In February 2022 my OCD was triggered by a bad experience with THC and I experienced OCD themes that I never could have imagined. It was debilitating until I started to take my first ever antidepressant, Lexapro in April of 2022. For the most part it HAS helped my OCD symptoms. But here’s my dilemma- I have gained SO much weight. I’ve always been a small person (5’2 112-115lbs was average for me). Since being on Lexapro I am now 140lbs. To some this wouldn’t matter and that’s completely okay, but for me it has really taken a toll. My appetite increased slightly, but I’ve always ate clean and worked out regularly. Nothing really changed besides the addition of Lexapro. I don’t know what I should do. Has anyone had a similar experience? Are there ways to lose weight while being on antidepressants? I never intended to stay on them for life but I’m also so scared of the withdrawal symptoms/ how I’ll feel when I’m not taking them. Any insights would be greatly appreciated.

I’m nearly out of options, my parents are absolute dickheads and assholes, they’ve been helping me with my OCD for 5 months and have just told me they’ve given up and don’t want to help me anymore, they, I quote, ”don’t want to suffer with me”, their suffering being just closing the door behind me because I’m scared I will close it on my cats by accident or occasionally move solething to a safer spot in case it light fall on my cats like knifes, forks etc. And buying me disposable paper plates and forks to eat with and they call that suffering witb me... When I spent the past 5 months constantly being anxious about my cats’ safety, spending sleepless nights crying my eyes out wishing I was normal and doing upwards to hours of compulsions daily to make sure my cats’ envioremenement was safe and taking care of them, not to mention all the days wasted preventing myself frol having fun doing things I enjoy to punish myself from my actions and intrusive thoughts, that’s my suffering, I don’t want to be a selfish prick, but I think I’m justiified in saying my suffering outweights theirs a thousandfold. My dad yelled at me, saying I’m not doing anything to get better?! Like, is he stupid? Does he think I’m the one delaying my appointement with my psychiatrist? My psychiatrist is the one who was supposed to see me last month but told me he couldn’t at the very last minute because he had a meeting to attend to... And no other psychiatrist are available for now and have an even bigger waiting list. He told me I wouldn’t see a doctor to get some medication when I already have medication, I’ll see the doctor when I’ll see I’m running out, I’m not refusing to see one. He said I should find a job when I’m already at uni and don’t have the physical and mental strenght to do that yet. He yelled at me to stop with my OCD immediatly or he’ll kick me out of the house knowing I have nowhere to go.

I wonder if anyone has had any experience of this. I’ve always been scared of they’re becoming a compulsion that I couldn’t complete. Either for practical reasons, like I’d have to get a flight back to a different country to step off a curb just right, or that if I’d didn’t complete the compulsion on a certain date it wouldn’t feel right. I was always worried there would some day be a compulsion that I could not fulfil. It happened. I held my brothers hand that had committed suicide and my magical thinking made me feel that his suicidal energy had transferred to me. I actually know this doesn’t happen but OCD convinces me it does. It doesn’t help that I’ve since found out that he suffered from intrusive thoughts, he’d always been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. My anxieties around obsessions manifest as intense stress. The compulsion has become my biggest fear, something I genuinely don’t want. To end my own like. My head is so full of pressure, if feels like my brain is on fire. It’s a compulsion I have got given in to for a year and a half yet the intense head pain and jaw clenching it causes has not subsided. It builds. It makes me want to just give in and die. Not giving in to this Compulsion feels awful. Has anyone experienced a compulsion they absolutely cannot do but somehow came over it and had any advice? Young mum and I really do what to be around for my daughter. The not doing that compulsions has haunted me for months on end, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t be present, it disgusts me yet my brain is trying to push me into doing it. I spend virtually every day thinking this is the day if have end my life to escape the physical pain. Many thanks for reading guys. Anyone else’s experience or advice would be so appreciated.

Can anyone differentiate what is an intrusive thought vs an auditory hallucination? I am very worried the repetitive sound loops in my head are not just intrusive thoughts . It is little second sound bites from movies or a TikTok video or sometimes just random stuff I may just be creating in my own mind. I don’t know why I can’t control it , which drives my fear.

I have really bad hit and run OCD. I had managed to get a handle on it the last few years and today I had one of my worst compulsive days in a while. And after I convinced myself not to turn around to check that the bumps I felt weren’t pedestrians, I saw a senior care ambulance come driving from the area I had been near. I don’t know exactly where it came from but my mind is running rampant and I just can’t stand this feeling. “Are you sure those bumps were regular road bumps and not people?” Over and over in my mind. I even drove back to where the ambulance might have been to see if there were people looking around/talking outside to see if there had been an incident. Please anyone who has experienced this/something similar share advice, it feels like my mind is against me.

I don't know why I come back on here ... This place, TL, Sharespace and Vent- all these platforms make me even more sad and finding people I relate to on there and here is even sadder cuz knowing this feeling, isn't a good feeling... please don't feel this way

Help for rocd spiraling, i dont want to start crying. Im working from home today. Please i want this to stop. I want to stop thinking i dont love my bf, that i have to break up, that he’s not attractive sometimes, that i dont see a future together and i get anxious when i think of us together in the same house, i want my life back. Please anyone comment here

Does anyone else get so tied up about ‘proving’ whether something did or didn’t happen? And they feel like they can only be happy if they prove OCD wrong? Been going to extremes recently to look for evidence if I did something and after finding nothing, feel very low.