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Hello everyone! Recently I’ve felt and have proven to be conquering OCD, but in my last therapy session my therapist stated that if I want to be who I want to be I will have to address my childhood SA trauma. She says I have OCD and it’s influenced by the trauma. In that therapy session I learned that for me everything is connected. But it makes me so sad, I thought if I can get these thoughts under control everything will be fine and my anxiety will subside. After that therapy session I haven’t done ERP practice. And I felt like I’m forgetting my responses to thoughts. Im leaning into compulsions more like all my progress has been “deleted”. I just want a path like a step by step process. The thought that I have is “if I do these steps and instruction then I’ll get to a place of peace.” I thought I had one but now I feel I can’t see one anymore. Has anyone had to maneuver through both OCD & trauma? If so any tips?

i’ve been struggling with overthinking and overwhelming thoughts for a minute now , about a year and a few months ago i was doing decent in my relationship with God still struggling in indulging in things I wasn’t supposed to but I eventually started to get closer. Ever since I professed my belief i’ve always had that thought “ i need to do this “ and of course as believers we have responsibility but this was something that would eat me up. Say I missed a day with reading my bible it’s like i would go crazy. I’m a senior in Highschool but I really began overthinking bad in the summer of sophomore year I was so scared I wasn’t saved so I would be stressed out , saying different prayers , professing my faith in God over and over but it wasn’t for that beneficial reason… I was scared. So at the beginning of my junior year I had a thought to spread the gospel on my campus but the campus im on has college students so I was at a university. This is where everything went down for me I had just finished a different work ( from which I think was God ) then this one appears in my mind. I was truly scared , growing up I had a fear of man so this wasn’t in my comfort zone but I still wanted to accomplish it. When the time came to do it I would back out every time and get more and more discouraged literally and my faith was there most times , most times i trusted in myself and sometimes I just couldn’t do it. I texted many brothers and sisters in Christ about this but i feel like there was more to be done , one gave me an idea but i asked for some tasks to get to the point of that task which was evangelizing or preaching on campus but the task weren’t so small to me. So the more I didn’t do this other thing more things would come into my mind and then came more fear , anxiety , overthinking etc. Talking about it right now still confuses me because I always get works ( works or responsibilities of believers) but it’s like God is throwing them all at me. I sadly had a classmate pass in March and it upset me but it’s like I couldn’t even mourn the first thing that popped into my mind was “ do this “ and my thing is a lot of the things i’m being told to do sounds like God or something he would tell one to do and that summarizes it really idk if i’m just disobedient in general or if i’m misunderstanding everything I didn’t even read as much once all this began I don’t feel as if I have that true relationship with God anymore but like I said Maybe my obedience put me here. Please respond with any advice or if you relate.

Disclaimer, I am diagnosed with OCD, GAD, PTSD, ADHD, Panic Disorder and hypochondria. I’ve been in the midst of what I hope and pray is just an extremely debilitating health ocd theme for about 4 months now, where I’ve basically convinced myself I am in the midst of psychosis or developing schizophrenia or a related disorder. I obsess over it day and night to the point where I can’t even function hardly. Constantly researching symptoms and seeking reassurance. Ive been having this weird symptom where my ear canal will randomly feel this pressure/ticklish sensation and I start to become hyperaware of the hole in my ear, and I get this weird tense feeling almost like I’m expecting someone to stick their finger in my ear or expecting something to go inside of it, this weird sensation almost makes me want to cover my ear but I never do. But when I get this weird ear feeling I get absolutely ridiculous crazy thoughts like “what if a demon is trying to get inside your ear” and I’m like WTF why would I even think of that, I don’t even believe in demons or religious stuff like that to begin with. I recognize that the thought is nonsense and FAR out of the realm of reality and makes zero sense.The fact that I would even have a thought like that to begin with scares the f**k out of me! I have never ever had thoughts like this before. YET now whenever I get that weird sensation in my ear I still get intense anxiety, why? Why do I still get such crippling fear from this ear sensation even if I don’t believe the thoughts? Why would my brain even come up with a thought like that in the first place? I’m so terrified of schizophrenia and psychosis, I don’t want to lose my mind ): I have a wife and so many dreams. I’m so scared of losing it. Has someone ever experienced anything remotely similar to this? I know this is very far fetched. I’m so afraid of losing insight, I’m so afraid of actually believing these delusional thoughts. The physical sensation is so disturbing to me and I don’t know why.

Today I completed one of the hardest exposures I’ve had to do in a long time! I still had a ton of thoughts and since this was a planned exposure I had a bit of anxiety beforehand (the medication helped a ton) but I got through it and leaned in! I want to remind everyone that ocd isn’t only intrusive thoughts, it can also be intrusive images, sensations, feelings etc., and as scary as they are you can conquer them with uncertainty! I understand it feels so scary accepting the fear but remember you’re not AGREEING or CONDONING it, all you’re saying is that thought is ok and you can continue on with your life. I’m also writing this as a reminder for myself. To keep going even when it feels like ocd is winning, it’s not, it just wants to make me feel that way. Have a good night everyone !! 💗🙌

I’m at my new job for almost a month and BOOM! This spiral I’m in is paralyzing and I can BARELY function. I want to run. I want to hide. I want to scream. I want to cry. All I can think of “I need to call my Psych and get on some meds. I can’t do this. I don’t know why this is happening. I need meds!” This job, great hours, pay, location, people, everything. I’ve been dealing with this since beginning but in drabs, sporadic panic and I’ve managed it. Today, FULL BLOWN PANIC. Tunnel vision, I’ve forgotten what I’ve learned, I cant even speak, everything is slowing down in my mind and cognitive functions. Over 40 years this has been happening. OCD specialized tells me I’m not OCD. I’m soooooooo confused. I’m just sick to my stomach. Thanks I must go back and face 26 people to check them in face to face. I am so burnt in this ANXIETY. Sorry for rant. It’s all I can do

I genuinely concerned. I have relationship ocd and see all these posts more so of partner focused, it being attracted to other people. I don’t have this at all. All my ocd is relationship focused and I’m starting to think it’s not ocd anymore!! Every single second I feel like I want to or should break up with him. I don’t feel that spark or infatuation and haven’t since the beginning. What if we just aren’t a good match? Even though he thinks we are. He’s my first healthy relationship. I feel sick. I feel like I’m prolonging the breakup because I just don’t wanna be alone or hurt him 😢

I have OCD around believing everything I do in life is a show for other people. It’s as of I lost the ability to remember if I decorate my house so beautifully because I like and want others to like it to, or if I decorate my house because I want others to like, and maybe even feel a jealous of me (weird I know.) ots not just decorating my house. Its the car I drive, the way I dress, & putting makeup on. I am known for throwing beautiful thanksgiving and christmas dinners. My table looks like it came right out of better homes and gardens. It really is beautiful. The food is exceptional and the display is always beautiful. I am afraid that I do it all for the attention and praise and that none of it is for me. It scares me so badly. Im dreading the holidays for the first time ever because Im so afraid of this thought. Can anyone else relate to this type of ocd? Thanks!

I am having a terrible time sleeping. I was up constantly and the moment I open my eyes I get an anxious belly, racing thoughts and adrenaline rushes. Sometimes I’ll have diarrhea (sorry for the tmi, but thats how upset my body gets.) It’s terrifying. I have to talk out loud to myself saying things like, “it’s ok, you’re ok, theres nothing you need to do, nothing you need to figure out, you are safe, etc.” Often times Im up for the day anywhere from 3 - 4 a.m. because my mind wont shut off for me to sleep and my body wont calm down for me to sleep. It is so discouraging, & so defeating to start every single day like this. It feels hopeless. Im terrified Im not going to get better and the thought of having this continue on is unbearable. Does anyone have experience with this? Did it get better? I just started taking clonazepam at bedtime for anxiety and i was hoping it would help me sleep through the night but it doesn’t. I also started lexapro (5mg) on Tuesday. Also, did anyone have success with 5mg lexapro? Thank you!

So I know my ocd and intrusive thoughts are in a hiccup stage because of my pms and period coming but like I just can’t help but go well what if it’s not what if it’s back what if I’m out of recovery and then I get a thought and like it’s not causing as much anxiety it’s just like I’m like omg no I don’t want to think this is something wrong with me but Ik it’s all just ocd I just wanna feel as carefree as I did a week or so ago

So originally, I didn’t think I had too much of this issue because I never get sick like that and being around sick people don’t make me freak like my other triggers but then I read a post on here of “groin contamination” and I TOTALLY have that. To the point that I haven’t taken a bath (only showers) since I was a very young child. At the age of seven, I convinced myself “the tub can’t be that clean, people wash and the dirt goes on the floor of the tub. They step on it.. I can’t SIT in that.” As I got older and learned more female hygiene and how NOT to douche EVER (never did anyway) or to use scented soaps.. it got worse. I kept thinking I was getting irritated and having BV because of scented soaps.. eventually I was a sexually active teen.. and I would get BV by just being active with my bf or wearing dyed underwear that wasn’t a cotton material. AT THIS POINT.. I RELIGIOUSLY googled up EVERYTHING that could throw off my pH and not only did I realize that I had a mental issue with going to pee and accidentally holding my pee without noticing it. I wondered why I did this and it’s because I can’t sit in a place without over analyzing everything. The dirt in the corner, touching knobs and to flush.. it freaks me out. Now I’m in my 30s and I don’t care for sex, I NEVER cared to be ✌🏾 or have ANY TYPE of oral. Any time a man wanted to, I’d decline and ask them twenty-one questions about what they last ate, drank, smoked.. how long has it been since they brushed their teeth, gums.. TONGUE 👀👀 if they brushed recently, I’d worry about toothpaste getting inside any throwing off my pH. So much so, I’d ruin the mood for myself. Men don’t know what to do because I don’t like fingers or spit on me.. if it happens somehow it’s all I think about and I try my best to finish them off just so I can pee and watch myself and “cleanse”. That’s contamination OCD.. isn’t it? 🫣

I need to beat this, I will lose my husband if I don’t stop - multiple ways this can happen, don’t need to discuss. I’ve pretended I had my stuff together for so long I’ve been missing some blatant OCD, especially relationship OCD, and it triggers my husband and ruins his progress through C-PTSD therapy. I panic! I can’t co tell myself and I feel like a child having a tantrum but out come the words, the requests for reassurance, the anger at not being reassured etc etc. This type of OCD is my primary right now, but began more as object ocd and magical belief etc (which sometimes are still there). I need to beat this. Or I’ll be forced to suffer the consequences until the end of time.

After my friend and I graduated high school separately. All our other friends moved away and we just had eachother . We hangout all the time and go places together, we are both single so the stuff that we want to do we go together but sometime it feels ver couplely. And my friend post picture of us on her instagram, I’m afraid people will think we are in a relationship because almost ever post I’m In it. Even a friend from work insinuated something because I was in almost everyone on of her posts

Hey y’all please send happy stories about recovery and the possibility of stepping out and healing from constant suicidal mindset. Or healing from anything, really. Would love to hear positive outcomes from this suffering. Also please say affirming /reassuring things about how “mental health” struggles are real and horrible and it’s valid to have a harder time with life because of them. THANKSSSSS

I got out of a long-term relationship not too long ago and I was experiencing a lot of relationship OCD and intrusive thoughts about others while in this relationship. This isn’t the reason why the relationship ended, but it played a big part in when things started going south for us. Bottom line is that I love this man so much and I wanted nothing more than to fight to not let my OCD ruin my relationship. But in the end we broke up and I used to rely on him so much for reassurance. He knew everything that I was going through. Well now we are broken. As you can imagine, a lot of my OCD is worse because I am not able to fall back on the fact that I have a boyfriend and that I would never do those things that my mind creates and lately my mind has clinged on to a new friendship I made at a school club. I think that this boy is very nice and he’s just like an adorable warming person. I generally don’t find this person attractive. He’s not the ugliest boy, but he’s not attractive either. and I just know that I wouldn’t like him or that in general, I would start liking someone already after my break up, but I feel like my mind is altering thinking positively about a boy into something that it isn’t. Like just because I think someone has nice qualities and they may be a person that’s nice to be around doesn’t mean that I like them or have feelings for that person. I have barely interacted with this person, but I can tell they’re a good person and they give me good vibes but I’ve just been obsessing over what I think about the person or how ugly or not ugly I find them or if I feel a certain way or not. Which logically it wouldn’t make any sense why I would, but I’ve been obsessing about it so much. And even though I’m single like I don’t want to be feeling this way because I still have so much love for my ex and I still feel like I’m his and I just wouldn’t feel right if I did like someone else but I know that I don’t. but I feel like my mind is making me think that I do or creating something out of something normal. Like making something romantic when it isn’t. During my relationship, I didn’t really have male friends because I didn’t see why I would but also I had a lot of anxiety in doing so because of my OCD so I don’t know if that also plays a part in why I feel how I feel now. I really am just looking for reassurance or someone to relate with because I feel like I’m trying to ignore this and avoid it and I feel like doing so is making me believe that this is all true and I’m just lying to myself and it’s just making me feel horrible inside.

Literally no one experiences what I experience and I’m so fed up with everything

Has anyone else had a theme where you obsessively question whether you’re really happy? This theme is hitting me hard, even though I’m in s better place than I ever have been.

Horrible horrible POCD, deplorable thoughts. This morning I woke up with them and they felt like urges almost and they were loud and telling me i liked them and that I was starting to agree with them. It’s horrible. I also get bigoted and cruel thoughts and it feels like this is secretly my “true nature” and that I’m not as accepting as I thought or wanted to be. I feel very alone and scared, but I don’t feel like I deserve recovery because these thoughts are so evil. I’d rather be dead than let them become who I am, and it feels like they are becoming that

Hey everyone! I struggle with POCD and struggle severely with feelings and attractions towards children. It freaks me out and I get so worried and anxious about it. I just keep thinking it’s not normal to get innapropriate attractions towards children. And it’s not just thinking a child is cute because that’s normal but it’s like I get actual attractions or feelings towards kids and it’s the same kind of attractions and feelings I get towards people my age and I’m 19. I’m so scared and worried and I don’t know what to do!! I’m freaking out

I'm unintentionally withdrawing from my SSRI at the moment since I switched brands to a pharmacy generic brand. I'm taking the same amount as I was before but it's obvious that the different brands contain different amounts of the drug. Anyway, I'm really struggling right now. I've got severe mood swings, depression, I'm anxious from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep, this is hell. I can't help but think if this will ever stop or is this what I'm really like without medication.

I am so consumed with not knowing God anymore. I feel so disconnected from God. I feel I don’t sense Him anymore or understand my belief which is really weird and freaking me out bc before my daughter, my belief was so strong and I understood now it’s all that has disappeared. I feel doomed to not know that part of me and it feels hopeless. I just don’t understand how I’m this way with being a mother or a believer anymore. I look at my kids and I don’t even know who they are or me anymore. I get so lost with this life I’m living and it def doesn’t seem like I’m really truly here anymore.