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Like whether it feels okay. I’m recovering from what I believe was a stomach bug, atleast I think it was bc I had 5 days of diarreah and stomach pain and discomfort. One day when I wiped there was slight blood on the tissue but I felt like it was external bc I felt a stinging/burning sensation. Anyways, I’m slowly getting better but my stomach is experiencing a lot of gas at the moment. A lot of gas in the morning, and I’m constipated but going twice a day. Maybe the bacteria in my gut is just not properly functioning or settled yet idk, but all I know is I can’t stop thinking about it. To the point these thought pollute my brain daily. It’s all I think about. I can’t even tell if my brain is making these symptoms worse or exaggerating them. It’s just tough to think about something constantly and to think you have a disease.

This may sound kind of weird because people with OCD often get the title of “cleanly” and “organized.” With my OCD, I’m the complete opposite. In fact, my hoarding habit is probably one of the most detrimental things about my OCD as of right now, and I feel like not a lot of people talk about it. Does anyone else relate to hoarding?

any fellow queers leave me some advice for dealing with soocd and rocd ? im queer and in a relationship with my boyfriend and going through heavy ocd revolving around soocd and rocd. thank you!

I wish ocd didn’t exist. I would have never thought it could have got even worse. I spend my days constantly overthinking and crying my eyes out because of this. Why does this have to affect my life. I just want to be happy and I can’t anymore.

So today was a bit hard, ive been trying to accept the thoughts just as thoughts, and just keep saying,"another HOCD thought." but when Im at work and my mind likes to do false attractions, and it feels like the feelings come before the thought when I see this one coworker and I get these weird feelings like ethier like a nervous feeling, or a gut dropping feeling. I want to say this was never a thing before HOCD but because of false memories, it makes me doubt. And now whenever my brain says something, and by the way I get zero anxiety, it feels like im agreeing with the thoughts of being gay and it sucks.

This is more of a post where I am thinking about a connection I've made but am not sure how to find more research on, if there is any research on it, rather than feeling insecure. For me, hatred feels like when I *really* want to get away from something or for something to stop, but I feel like I can't escape it, so tension generates VERY quickly. So then, I want to feel relief from whatever is causing hatred in me. That can manifest as me "attacking" the thing (so, say I don't like how many posts I see on social media about something, I can feel relief by making very nasty posts about it, almost like trying to push it the heck away from me), engaging with the thing in ways that try to discredit it (so, hate-reading/watching things to laugh at them), or whatever else. And I think this relates to my compulsions! If... If hatred can feel like seeking relief, and OCD obsessions prime us to seek relief, it would make sense to me then that hatred could fall into OCD patterns. When I was younger, I would act very hatefully towards others, being very mean and discrediting people if they didn't do things the "right" ways, and so on. It felt like hatred (and self-hatred) consumed my life, because it was an easy way to seek relief. Currently, I'm more on top of that, but... I get anxious when I see how easy it is to hate while on social media? I only got out of this thanks to very caring friends who registered how much energy I was pouring into things I hated, when I could have been caring about things that actually give me energy and help me feel positively. It was so hard to tear away from those hateful obsessions, and I felt like such a bad person, and sometimes still struggle with that. I didn't know I had OCD at the time, but now I feel like "Oh, my OCD was playing with my hatred, these were obsessions and compulsions for relief!" I worry for the mental health of those with OCD (and truthfully, those who don't have OCD too... I feel like hatred can become a vicious cycle) that this has become relatively normalized. Does anyone else have thoughts or feelings about this? Has anyone else noticed something similar?

Genuinely mentally spiraling. I don’t think I’ve hated myself as much as I do now

If you've been living with OCD for a long time, do you ever just habituate to the thoughts to the point where you're so used to them that they no longer make you anxious?

Ruminating and I hate it. I feel like crying. I can use advice and someone to talk to

I’ve been in a relationship for two years. I feel super guilty. Today I sat with my friend and the guy she’s talking to in lunch. The guy was looking at me like into my eyes and I feel like it made me nervous and I was like what the hell why did it make me nervous does it mean I like the guy? I don’t want to. I only want to love my boyfriend. So yeah I feel guilty because why did I feel guilty :/ I wanna tell my bf but it’s obviously gonna hurt him i don’t wanna have a crush on my friends crush the guy she’s talking to. Plus they’re really cute together. I feel like I’m seeking reassurance I really just wanna hear that it doesn’t mean anything and that it means I don’t like him that it just happens.

For the past few years or maybe all my life I have had OCD with haircuts. Maybe also called perfectionism I don’t know. It affects me so badly that I am constantly checking the length of my hair and both sides have to be symmetrical and also have to be just right. For the past few years I would find myself constantly checking in the mirror and having to fix it or I have a panic attack. By fix it I mean going back and having it cut again and again to try to fix it, when there was probably no issue to begin with. I don’t know how to break this cycle. I know it’s best to do nothing but it’s like an itch I have to scratch. It controls my life to the point of so much anxiety I get stomach issues and can’t function. I cry a lot because I hate the hold it has over me. I am not a vain person but somehow my hair is a trigger for me. I feel so lost and alone and I shake when I have to get my hair trimmed. Last haircut I had was a year ago because I was afraid of it triggering me. I got it cut maybe 3 weeks ago for the first time in a year and it started all over again. The obsession is exhausting. I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin. I just don’t know what to do. I feel like I constantly have to get it fixed by a hairdresser or I can’t function. It’s exhausting. 😭

Ive tried so hard to open to family and given decades of chances for change in hopes to build on something but its hopeless. They have absolutely no love or respect for me at all. I'm completely invisible to them. I have to move foward i know but its soo painful that i have no family who cares. My pre-birthday dinner was horrible, they decided to share" food and ate it all i had nothing to eat, no cake no gifts expect for some chocolate pretzels that I Hate ive told my mother repeatedly i dont eat that and she gifts it to me for my bday. Its truly upsetting cruel and beyond hurtful i dont have any more hope for a loving normal family, over 40yrs of sadness😢😢

I'm so frustrated with how when I get so obsessive over an issue I ask my family and friends so much for reassurance that I know doesn't even help alleviate the distress. It makes me feel annoying. Any tips for reducing this behavior?

I saw a vid of a customer slap the shiii out of an employee I don’t really know the whole context but ik she wanted her money back and she was yelling at the employee and the employee said that she wasn’t with that attitude she was having, and she slapped her and then I got so pissed bc if someone slapped me like that hell I would explode, but what lead to this was that I was imagining what I would do if I was the employee, which was slap her but then it escalated so quick to where I was imagining like worse harmful stuff so all ima say is that yk blood but then I was like whoa 😳 why did I think of that?? It went too far and I also felt like satisfaction from it when I imagined it but that made me so scared after when I realized what I was thinking and I’m just so scared of my feeling and myself, but OBVIOUSLY I’m not gonna act out like god Jesus no but i just felt that way and it lead up to it so fast and I don’t think this is ocd if I’m thinking violently like this 😭😭 I think I need help bc I really feel like my mind is being slowly corrupted man :/ I wasn’t like this before I realized I was sexually abused as a kid and even emotionally bc I felt played by them and then this whole intrusive thoughts started happening for like 1-2 maybe and now this is where I am 🙂🥲🤦🏽‍♀️

Is the statement/experience of “this feels too real and true not to be real and true” common in ocd? Specific to SOOCD, it’s like I’m convinced it’s true, which then moves to “it’s denial”

Just took a hour showering, and my hands are white from all the handwashing. I'm sad that I'm kinda bad again. I get worried about the consequences of my worrying as well lol. Currently physically ill and often that is also hard on my mental health..

Today I tried to tell my husband about my first ocd exposure session. It was overwhelming and embarrassing and exhausting and I have such little hope today that this will ever be much better and that success of living with OCD (diagnosed about 7 years but avoiding it for years) is just holding it together and trying to appear as together as I can. And man, I work so hard at just keeping my job and house and husband and child and laundry and everything together. I am very private about the state of my head and what I am struggling with and strive to just hold it together. And so when I decide to be vulnerable and tell him I am working with an OCD therapist on here 2x a week for about a month now, and how something as little as an unbalanced egg carton unleashed so much anxiety and instability that I was wobbly and mortified and he says he just doesn’t understand. How is our house cluttered or messy if I have OCD? Why don’t the undone dishes bother me? Or basement clutter? Or our yard? I am stunned, because I have been with this man longer than I have had the language to understand this brain, and my intimate partner of 20 years seems to think i must not have this since I can live in a messy house. My heart is broken and I feel so unknown, so unseen. Like he has no clue how much I struggle. I am so good at holding together that I have been on the brink of imploding and he doesn’t get it. Like at all. I tried to take a deep breath and explain that it isn’t about clean and order, it is about doing things to ease anxiety and feel like you have control. Explained the whole step on a crack and break your momma’s back bit, and how it made sense to avoid cracks as kid because it seemed possible you could hurt someone if you trip up. And how he probably doesn’t feel that way any more because his brain realized that that was not logical. But that my brain looks, no grasps, or maybe even yearns for things I can do to feel like I have more control over things. So that I can keep treading water again and not drown from the weight of all of it. And I lose him again, because he doesn’t understand that my brain fixates on dumb order things like egg cartons or balance things or repetitive body behaviors not because it is getting something accomplished, but because I can move on to treading water again if the eggs are balanced in the carton. It is so hard to feel so alien to the people you love and who love you.

Anyone feel like you are meant to hurt/murder? Like your true identity is the bad guy and you're just struggling to keep him under wraps?

—•—•—•—•—• [Interviewer]: Hello, OCD! Can you please introduce yourself to our readers so they can get to know you better? [OCD]: Hi there! I'm OCD, which stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I reside in people's brains and affect their thoughts and behaviors. [Interviewer]: Fascinating! Does that mean you live in my brain too? [OCD]: Well, it's possible, but not guaranteed. To know for sure, you would need to consult with a professional and get diagnosed. OCD doesn't affect everyone, only certain individuals. [Interviewer]: I see. Why is it that you only exist in some people's brains? [OCD]: It's actually related to genetics. Some people's genetic makeup acts as a barrier, making it more difficult for me to take hold. So, in a way, it's like a preference based on genes. [Interviewer]: Ah, I understand now. I thought you were referring to my pants earlier when you mentioned genes! [OCD]: Oh, not at all! I was talking about genetic information, not your actual jeans. By the way, I do love your pants. [Interviewer]: Thank you! How long have you been a part of human lives? [OCD]: I've been around for as long as humans have existed. However, it wasn't until the 1800s that my presence was officially recognized and identified. [Interviewer]: That's relatively recent. Did people struggle with you before that? [OCD]: They certainly did. It was a challenging time for those who experienced my influence. They didn't understand what was happening to them and often felt isolated and alone. [Interviewer]: That must have been incredibly difficult for them to deal with. [OCD]: Absolutely. They lacked the knowledge and support available today, so their options for seeking help were limited. Often they turned to priests or religious leaders, who associated their experiences with possession. [Interviewer]: That's understandable considering the limited understanding at the time. By the way, what's your favorite food, OCD? [OCD]: Well, my 'food' would be fears, insecurities, and doubts. They fuel my presence and keep me active. [Interviewer]: Are those a unique type of 'food'? I haven't come across them before. [OCD]: Actually, you may have experienced them in some form. While they may not be enjoyable or satisfying to you, they provide me with the energy I need to thrive. [Interviewer]: So, without these fears and insecurities, you wouldn't be as active? [OCD]: That's correct. Feeding me with self-love and self-compassion tends to make me less intense and bothersome. It subdues my influence. [Interviewer]: Interesting! Do you have a preference for self-love and self-compassion? [OCD]: Oh, absolutely! In fact, I find comfort and relief when individuals practice self-love and self-compassion. It helps create a sense of inner peace, and I can have a moment of respite from constantly consuming uncertainty and negative thoughts. [Interviewer]: That's an enlightening perspective. It sounds exhausting for both you and those affected by you. [OCD]: It can be quite draining indeed. That's why nurturing oneself with love and compassion can make such a positive difference in managing the impact of OCD. It offers a path towards a more peaceful existence. [Interviewer]: Thank you for sharing your insights, OCD. It's been a pleasure getting to know you better. —•—•—•—•— How I picture OCD in this scenario: (Image off of Bored Panda) ~

I just want to say to anyone who see this to keep fighting! I know how difficult it is to live with ocd, even taking one day at a time is challenging but we can all fight our way throughout this! I’m always here if anyone wants to talk xx