Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I have emetophobia, the fear of vomiting. After recently getting triggered, it’s been so prominent in my mind. I think about it like 50 times a day. The fear has become so debilitating that I’ve developed an aversion to food. I’m losing weight and I’ve gone practically vegetarian. Anytime I go out to eat with my girlfriend I only take 2 bites of food. I don’t eat any meat or anything due to the fear that it might be undercooked or that I might get food poisoning. I really wanna get better and get over this fear. It’s getting in the way of me enjoying my life. All I eat is ramen noodles, crackers, and pretzels. Can anyone relate? Have any advice?

I have a fear of getting drugged/poisoned and becoming incapacitated. If I don’t know the exact origin of something as it came from the store, and where it has been at all points after that, I typically won’t ingest it/use it. I’m big into going to music festivals and concerts where acid and other drugs are typically present. My friends also sometimes do psychedelics and other drugs when we hang out on the weekend (I’m not a fan of them myself but it doesn’t bother me when other people do them). This usually leads to me believing that there’s a chance anything I had in the same vicinity as the people ingesting these substances has a chance of being laced and drugging me when I use it next. For example, if I had a bottle of ibuprofen or a bottle of lotion in my purse while hanging out with friends, I believe that if I use it I will become drugged and incapacitated because somehow some kind of drug could have ended up inside of the bottle. This ends in me throwing so many things away. I hardly ever use any of my things until theyre empty. Thinking back, I’ve wasted so much money because of this obsession/compulsion. Any tips on how to stop feeling this way?

Hi all! First post on this forum. I’m a long time sufferer of OCD and my current rituals focus on STD testing and believing that I’ve had sex with random people who aren’t my husband when I’ve been drinking. I’ve stopped drinking for the time being to avoid the trigger, but how do I stop thinking that the last time I got really drunk, I might have cheated? I know in my heart it’s OCD playing tricks again (seriously I must have done about 30 STI tests in the last few years) but I don’t know how to stop the thoughts or the compulsion to do it again? It’s been weeks and the anxiety isn’t dimming. I would usually just take the test and then.at least get some peace away from the obsessive thought!!

Idk if this is tocd. Is there anyone who is born male but afraid to look/ present as a man?

I don’t love her ... I do .... I don’t want want to be with her ... I do ... I will never be happy if I stay .... well I was happy before ... just leave u can do better ..... no she is amazing... she doesn’t deserve to be with someone who thinks the thought u do ... I know but I can’t help it .... so leave ... no I don’t want to I love my life with her ... well it it will only end in tears like ur last 1 u said u loved her and she loved u couldn’t have loved u that much to piss off with ur mate and leave u with kids .so who’s to say she won’t do it as wel ... she isn’t like that yea u to bought that last time so just leave it not right for each other anyway ... yes we are .... and so on and so on .... rocd or whatever this horrible twat is 3 months and counting please just stop ???

So on my fourth anniversary I told my gf I had HOCD. She’s bi and all and we discussed about the gay thoughts and the things that have been roaming through my head and I told that these were intrusive thoughts. She told me about her trying not to come out to her homophobic step dad and all that and it got me worried too! It made me start to think maybe that’s what it was all along but I called myself down as much as I can. She gave me an example of how a women checked her out when she was in the bathroom in college and I thought to myself “I do that to with the women I look at” during our time I didn’t want her to think I was gonna leave or ima turn gay or something like that cause I know it’s not how it works. I just don’t want her to think I’m gonna leave for some dude or just leave in general. I don’t want her to develop things to ruin our relationship and I don’t want it to happen to me either ): this is really hell on earth and I’m gonna seek help when I get the chance. Every time I think I’m doing great my mind thinks “yeah I’m gay” or “you’re in denial” and every time I think of a friend and things like that it goes to some really intrusive and explicit thoughts that I won’t say here and it made me uncomfortable to the point where I now feel nauseous. Though it’s self diagnosed knowing more about HOCD makes it more clear to what I have I just don’t want her to think it’s all made up! My brain tells me that just because of what I did when I was in kindergarten with another boy (which was an innocent kiss) I didn’t know what was going on and it makes me uncomfortable and makes my brain think I’m in denial. I try to tell myself that the things I’ve done in the past shouldn’t be reflected with what I do now. But I just want this to be over I want to be happy with my girlfriend and make her feel as great as she makes me. But I feel so guilty having these thoughts I just with I t was over. I’m happy she’s here to support me but I don’t want her to think of it all in the wrong was I just want her to know I’m going through something completely different then what she went through. I’m gonna do better not just for her but for myself too!

* I am really really sorry if this triggers anyone else. So please know before continuing to read that is is about worries of impulsive control and if this is something you worry do not continue to read * I am always worried about how I feel I carry out actions that I don’t want to do, however minor. I’ve always struggled to find someone who experiences the same. I do have a diagnosis of OCD. Today I looked up impulsive control and OCD. And it came up with this academic article about the link between OCD and Impulsive control disorders. It mentioned the link between this impulsive control disorder and ROCD. Which made me panic!!! As my OCD circles around the fear of cheating on my loving, incredible boyfriend. I couldn’t really understand what the article was saying and meaning though. Could I maybe post it for someone to read in the comments? Now I’m obviously panicking that I have his disorder and it means I really am out of control of myself and my actions. Meaning I could harm my cat or cheat on my boyfriend. For instance, last night I told myself to be careful as I was close to leaning on my cats paw. And then I leaned on it a wee bit. He didn’t yelp or anything but then he started to lick it which made me worry and think that means it hurt him. I would really appreciate a response on this post as I am panicking beyond belief

I just triggered my self so bad!! I was watching these videos of people telling their break up stories and one of them said a girl said “I realized I liked girls so I broke up with him” and another said “I was dating boys but really I like girls, I was sexually confused” and it triggered me so bad. I’m sweating and I’m getting the hot flashes. I hate this. It’s like if it was a sign.

Doing ERP on your own? Read this: http://beyondocd.org/expert-perspectives/articles/self-directed-treatment-for-ocd-the-irony-of-doing-the-opposite

Hello all. My husband is experiencing OCD and PTSD. He’s been having very bad thoughts for a month now. His doctor prescribed Citalopram and he has been taking it for 5 days now. The pill make him very tired and anxious and he cannot sleep at night. I read in some articles that these feelings will go away after 1-2 week(s) and then he will start being happy again. Has anyone here experienced the same thing? Do you have any recommendations for me which would help me to support him better? I wanna see him happy again...

I have terrible anxiety at the moment brought on by a so called friend who has said awful things about me as she knows how sensitive I am. Why do people have to be so cruel? It is bringing on my ocd now.

Does anyone else cringe/feel uneasy at the thought of intimacy with their SO? I read an article that says that’s a sure fire way to know your relationship is over.

I’ll feel fine for a few weeks, then get a scary thought like “what if this isn’t real” or “what if this is a video game or made just for me” scary things that I stupidly read one time can indicate “psychosis” or things like that. Now I know it’s not truly psychosis as the thought scares me and isn’t a “belief” it is an anxious intrusive thought but my mind always is like “but what if you have other mental illness”. I’ve been told by countless psychologists that I have anxiety and occasional OCD thoughts. But my question is has anyone else experienced that before, and if so how did you get through it and not focus on it? The anxiety sucks because the body sensations that go with it, but it just makes me hypersensitive and overly aware of everything. Advice?

I don’t want to post the same things all the time but I’m having a shitty moment. I’m crying by myself in my room like I have everyday for so long. I’m so sick of thinking about my sexuality and sex every minute of everyday. Anything and everything becomes sexual evidence of some sort. I was doing something at work that involved pushing with my fingers and I had a thought of it being sexual. I’m terrified to ever be touched by anyone and I have no interest in any relationship ever anymore because I just want to be alone. I couldn’t even hug my best friend of 5 years without coming close to crying because I was scared. Scared of hugging my best friend! Everyday is the same, I do the same googling and watch the same videos and think up the same scenarios to test how I feel about them. The only thing stopping me from doing anything to myself is my parents. And every time I have a suicidal thought I go downstairs and see them and feel bad. The scariest part is I’m going to be home alone for a few weeks soon and I’m terrified. Again sorry for posting similar things all the time I just have nobody else.

I’m worried about ERP. I don’t have any physical compulsions, and struggle to see any mental ones either. I don’t feel scared about anything and uncertainty doesn’t bother me (I’ve accepted that if my relationship ends it’ll suck but I’d be ok) so if ERP is the best treatment for this- how will I ever get better? Does that mean it’s not OCD? I feel like I’m literally going insane!!!!

My OCD brain tells me if I don't do these mental rituals then this universe gonna be destroyed by some angry god and I'm responsible for this because I'm offending some god by living the life of my own terms,why OCD is so sickening by giving these threats???

No ‘what ifs’ anymore- just direct statements sometimes ‘you don’t love him’ sometimes ‘I don’t want to be with him’. I can’t see any hope of feeling better- I don’t even know if this is OCD. This isn’t how love is supposed to feel- how do I know if my partner just isn’t the one? I did have really intense anxiety but could still feel that love and desire to be with my SO but now- it seems to be fading away. No more anxiety, intrusive thoughts feel a bit muddled up rather than loud, aggressive, specific thoughts. Help :(

Dose anyone else feel embarrassed that they take medication for they’re mental health? as a little kid I used to think it was cool cause it made me different but now I’m ashamed of it. it makes me feel like I need meds just to feel normal . It makes me feel like I’m a crazy person and kinda upset with myself for not knowing how to control my OCD enough so I need meds to help.

I feel like I’m starting to deny my sexuality. Before this I never really thought about girls that way. Now I am and it terrifies me. It feels like I just don’t wanna accept that I’m lesbian. I’m so damn lost. It feels like I know I’m lesbian. But I just can’t be. Anyone feel this way? Probably reassurance but if any of you think I am or it seems like I am please tell me.

How open are you about your OCD?