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the NOCD Community

Has anyone had success with meds and ocd? I suffer from overthinking. I Can’t get out of my head . I know results can vary just looking for some hope or light at the end of the tunnel. It’s really hard to live like this.

I know a lot of guidance tells us to live for and move toward our values, no matter how scary OCD is. But does anyone else struggle with this when they are really having a hard time? Like it almost feels like you can’t do it in the moment because the thoughts and feelings are so overwhelming? I have harm ocd and it certainly is difficult. Mainly because it feels like I can’t (which is probably my ocd tricking me).

Is ERP or CBT more helpful with moral based OCD? Sometimes I struggle to find ways of exposure with my theme and it can be very triggering. Wondering is CBT is really the more helpful type of action. Also any CBT book recommendations would be helpful. Thanks.

i saw videos on tiktok that people who would pray would end up being gay and i have been praying everyday that i don’t end up gay. I don’t want to be gay but i’m scared that i’m gonna end up changing my mind. What do i do?

I was sleeping and i had a dream about a girl who is young and she was being touchy with me and it seemed like I liked it. And then i woke up and i felt so miserable and scared, like why would this be in my head and why would i appear to like it😔

The worst is when ocd latches on to your children. I’ve been having intrusive thoughts about my daughter that have me so depressed. I know none of it is true but the ocd really tries to convince me that it is. Any other parents experience this??

I have a constant need to confess past sexual fantasies to my boyfriend. the problem is I can’t figure out which ones were real and which ones were sexually intrusive thoughts (which i deal a lot with). When it comes down to it, I don’t know if this is a compulsion to confess or if I owe it to him bc it’s a form of cheating. I feel disgusted with my past thoughts/sexual fantasies. They are constantly playing in my head and I’m always wondering what my real intentions were during them. Is this something I am obligated to confess to him? these happened almost 2 years ago and some even longer. I just feel like if i confess one, I’ll just fixate on another and need to confess that too. I feel like a disloyal partner for having those thoughts and i don’t know how to deal with that.

I studied at school Sigmund Freud. It was very triggering and disturbing. Sure his studies aren't all true? Like dreams being actually our unconscious desires? It's terrifying to apply this with pocd. That whenever we see a trigger and feel triggered we're actually being in denial because society doesn't allow it and we actually desire those ugly stuff.

Has anyone experienced fear of not falling asleep? I have never had sleep issues before but after a bout of jet lag 3 months ago, my sleep has been terrible. This last week, I’ve only managed to sleep 3-5 hours a night because I’m just so SCARED of not sleeping. I’m unable to function because I’m obsessing about not sleeping and the terrifying effects it has on the mind and body. I’m afraid I’m going to end up losing my mind from not sleeping. Last night I was able to get 4 hours of deep sleep, but I was in bed for a total of 14 hours and just tossed and turned. Can anyone relate to this? I’m so scared I’ve been vomiting and nonstop crying 💔😭

can ocd give us false feelings? I had an intrusive thought and I’m scared I liked it.

My OCD has gotten way better, but I still struggle with one thing in particular. This does not necessarily have to do with my ocd but I also struggled with it while I was still struggling. It is this feeling of always needing to do better, to evolve, change things etc. This affects my relationship. Everyday I bring something up to my partner that we/he could change. Everyday I insist on having deep/meta psychological talks about how we feel, what we need, what we should change and it is really taking a toll on my partner. It feels like I am constantly trying to be better, to make him or us better and it is hurting both of us. He is not a better partner at all, I am just sooo scared of things not turning out okay or right. I just have this heavy pressure on my heart, idk if it is fomo, anxiety or whatever but it sucks joy out of things. I feel like I‘m constantly trying to live im check lists. „Oh this was a cute moment, check“ „okay, we just had a good conversation, check“ and so on. Every moment i spend with him has to be evaluated and it. Is. Draining. It drains me so so much. I am just so scared of not being mature enough, that m partner and I don’t talk enough, don’t know each other enough or that things should be different. Do any of you have the same problem? This is not just a relationship problem for me. I also feel like I am not doing enough, I should be experiencing more things, etc. I know i should just let go but I can’t. Do you have tips, advice or similar story? Please share, I feel so frustrated and alone. I don’t want to be this serious, strict being.

I have this boyfriend who i’ve been with for over a year and I love him and I felt like I was ready so I lost my virginity to him and we’ve been having sex for a while. I’ve grown this extreme fear that God hates me and every time I do it, I’m disappointing him or like he no longer likes me because I’ve done it. I tried to pray and ask if I shouldn’t be doing it or if I should stop but I never really get any response or clear answers so I’ve been continuing to do it because I love my boyfriend and I want to be normal and feel normal but the feeling of God hating me seeps and every time we are getting together and every day throughout my life. I go to a Catholic school so every time we pray or God has brought up I feel deep guilt I feel like I’m not worthy of praying, or speaking to God anymore. We had reconciliation the other week, and I finally got up the courage to tell the priest that I lost my virginity and that I felt like God didn’t love me and was looking for some reassurance. the priest responded by saying he doesn’t think God is mad at me but he’s just disappointed in me. This actually made me feel a lot worse because it kind of confirmed the idea that God was disappointed or didn’t like me which to me is very scary and makes me feel sick. A lot of the time it feels like I’m being told I shouldn’t do it and I know I shouldn’t do it but I do it anyway, so I feel like I’m gonna go to hell. But at the same time I feel like if I didn’t have OCD, I wouldn’t be thinking those things and it wouldn’t matter so I feel like I really don’t know what to do.

Does anyone else just feel like their mere fucking existence is bothersome to any living or breathing creature. The amount of times I say sorry for absolutely butt fuck nothing is insane. The amount of times I need someone to double check that what I’m doing is right or tell me that the text I’m sending is okay or that whatever situation I just experienced is okay and that I did nothing wrong. And then I actually become more bothersome by trying to not be bothersome cuz I burden the fuck out of the poor people in my life by asking them if every single thing I part take in is OKAY!?!?!!?? Ugh. I’m so sick of this how do I stop.

how to not get frustrated with yourself when you do a compulsion (especially if it’s one that you always do)

I ate a frozen pizza and in the middle of eating it I imagined to myself "what if it was an edible cookie" because the way I was eating it it was the shape of a cookie due to not having pizza cutter around (or at least I cant find one) I just cant stand the thought of the possibility of accidentally eating an edible unknowingly or just anything drugged and I'm exhausted of this irrational fear controlling every single day and triggering panic attacks (or anxiety). I wasn't always like this, why is this happening to me now??? I used to be a very impulsive person and eat whatever was put in front of me, and I've always been fine, so why is this eating me now? To be honest I feel calm typing this right now, just a little frightened that I scared myself with that thought, but I'm scared that this calmness won't last long. I hate this!

I'm learning to accept God's love as unconditional. I want this love to inspire me to do good but am afraid that without guilt or fear as a motivation I will end up not caring. Is this a facet of my OCD that I should just ignore or is it a logical concern?

I started a new job a month ago. Keep in mind I have severe relationship OCD so before I went in I was afraid I was going to have a weird thought about someone if they were good looking. Literally my first day I saw someone good looking and did a friendly smile because I was new and I just smiled at everyone to be nice- I did it again I’d say like 3 more times to that person in the days after and then I suddenly stopped because I was like what if he thinks I fudging fancy him so now every time I pass him I can’t look him in the eyes I look down or rush past looking annoyed so he doesn’t think I think he’s good looking. I’m really enjoying this job but this little thing every single day when I go in now is constantly at the back of my mind every morning I wake up it’s the first thing I think of, every intimate and loving moment with my boyfriend I picture this person (because my OCD imagines things that are bothering me in the best moments so I don’t enjoy them) And I am so afraid that one day someone in my team will be like oh yeah you need to get him to train you in on this because I will actually cry because I’ve built this up so much in my head now that I can’t enjoy my life my work everything because it’s really awkward (or in my mind it is) when I pass this person because I’ve made it seem like this huge deal and it makes me feel sick because I’ve already confessed this once to my boyfriend but it is so STUCK in my head now and of course you can never ask for help on this shit (my fellow ocd friends will know of course and by friends i mean everyone in this community) because people in my work would be like ooooo you fancy him or something not understanding that this is something i really struggle with. And I just don’t know at all how to move past it

I’m finally going to have a therapy consultation today to potentially start taking sessions with a therapist, I’m undiagnosed but I’ve been struggling with what I can only hope to be OCD (either that or I’m going crazy). However, now that I’ve scheduled an appointment, it kinda feels like my OCD has disappeared momentarily, making me wonder if I even need therapy. I started taking Magnesium and vitamin D regularly which I think has taken the edge off. So now I’m wondering if I even have OCD. I also know it’s only a matter of time before the triggers start again, but it’s just confusing and I don’t want to end up psyching myself out of getting help. Even if it’s not as bad at the moment, I want to learn to cope with it before it gets bad again.

Does anyone else worry that you or others they have confessed to or sought reassurance from are downplaying or minimizing things that are actually a problem or bad? How do you know for sure if you downplaying something that is bad?

I’m a rookie when it comes to ocd (I have had it almost all my life but got diagnosed 3 years ago). I want to know which books were most helpful for your recovery (my main struggles are with false memory, guilt, shame, and real event). Also, I have been reading Albert Ellis’s book “How to stubbornly refuse to make yourself miserable”, would love your opinion on whether it was helpful if youve read it.