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I'm jealous that other people can find a therapist and get better and I cant

I sometimes worry my situation is too uncommon to be OCD and can’t find many people to relate too with similar situations. Anyone else?

Anyone else experience this? I recently got a pair of really nice and really expensive headphones, I’m a major audiophile and passionate about music. The headphones are well built but I find that I keep inspecting them to see if there are any minor imperfections, I keep putting light pressure on different parts of the headphone to see what they can withstand, then when I do this I start to worry that I damaged them, despite no evidence of damage. Even when I’m away from them I fear that they’re just sitting there broken. It’s mildly annoying because something like that shouldn’t occupy my mind so much. I don’t want them to be broken and I like using them. Then I worry about using them because I fear even if I just touch them I’ll do something to break them. There’s nothing to indicate that something is wrong but I’m constantly worried that every time I use them the more I’m damaging them.

My brain is so messed up that I m having panic attacks at the doctor office just get nervous for no reason even when they call my name during the test I had to take couple deep breath my life su*ck why I can’t just be normal getting nervous and anxious for a doctor appointment only me my stupid brain I don’t think I can overcome this :(

I’ve been super sick all the last 5 days and my so-ocd is so overwhelming and intense. Anyone else experience way worse obsessions when they’re sick? Googling about so-ocd to make sure my symptoms still match (of course they will I’ve been dealing with this for 6+ months)/going on Reddit to read people’s similar stories are huge compulsions of mine. I know I shouldn’t be doing it but I feel so anxious and overwhelmed when I do nothing. Needed some encouragement & wanted to see if anyone relates to feeling way worse when they’re sick? Hope everyone is having an ok week!

I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 years. Since we were 17. We study at the same university in the same specialty. We think that we started dating on October 30, 2019, on that day I asked him to help me with my studies, and it happened that we got drunk and kissed. And so we consider that day as the beginning of our relationship, because after that we did not part and were always together. A week later we had sex. A week later, on November 12, 2019, my ex-boyfriend wrote to me that he was in town and asked if I wanted to meet him. We broke up a long time ago, but we talked and sometimes even kissed. I told my boyfriend that I was going out with a friend because I was afraid to say that he was my ex. We went out, walked, drank beer, talked while sitting on a bench, and he leaned in to kiss me. I leaned back and we kissed. The kiss was not long, a few seconds. kiss wasn't with passion or something. and at that moment I thought I was doing something wrong, because I seem to have a relationship with my boyfriend, and I stopped. After that, we talked some more, he went home, and I went back to the hostel for students(my boyfriend and I lived in the same hostel). I came to my boyfriend, and did not tell about the kiss, because at that moment I did not feel guilty at all. I don't know, maybe I wasn't sure about relationships, because I've never had a serious relationship before, only some flings, and that's why I thought that my current boyfriend would be the same. And really this kiss mean nothing to me. We continued to relationship with my boyfriend, everything was fine. Then I remembered this incident and felt guilty. 6-7 months after we started dating, I told him about it, I told him in the summer of 2020 when we met, because we hadn't seen each other for 4 months due to the coronavirus and quarantine. I cried a lot and asked for forgiveness, said that this kiss mean nothing. My boyfriend calmed me down and forgave me, we didn't even have an argument, we just continued dating as if nothing had happened. Everything was fine, but after 3 years, in August 2022, I remembered this incident and began to blame myself very much. I considered myself a cheater, unworthy of my boyfriend. I just hated myself. My boyfriend didn't understand, because he didn't think about it at all and didn't understand why I was so worried about it. But the anxiety didn't leave me, later I started having false memories and my OCD. I was thinking "what if there was more than a kiss? what if I forgot something? what if I kissed someone else and my brain erased it from my memory?" and billions of such thoughts. I couldn't eat or sleep, I constantly read about betrayals, I read other people's stories, but I didn't get any better. I went to a psychiatrist and he prescribed me a course of antidepressants, which I took for 9 months, but it didn't help. Later, I started remembering all the bad things I did in the relationship. I remembered the case when my boyfriend, with whom I had sex (he is not the one with whom I kissed at the beginning of the relationship) (I have only two sexual partners - this guy, let's call him M and my current boyfriend). And this M texted me in the first month of my relationship with my boyfriend, and started mentioning our sex. I don't remember exactly what I wrote back, because I deleted messages a long time ago. But I definitely remember that he mentioned our sex, said how cool it was. I probably also wrote something in this spirit, but only so as not to offend him. I don't know why I didn't send him "f\*ck you", probably because I was 17 years old and I didn't know how to defend my own borders. I started to blame myself for it. Later I remembered that I was sitting on Tinder with my friend and we were having fun. My boyfriend knew about it, I told him and did not hide anything. I didn't texted with anyone, we just have fun and trolling people. But I remember I had the thought "what if my boyfriend is not the love of my life and I find love here". I am also very ashamed of this opinion now. I never hid anything from my boyfriend and told him everything honestly, but now I am ashamed of my stupid actions. Later, I started blaming myself for the fact that I had many boyfriends in the past, and my boyfriend only had one girlfriend, and he still didn't have sex with her. And I had sex before we started date with my bf and I felt very ashamed because of it, I considered myself a wh*re and unworthy of him. I am infinitely ashamed of all the bad deeds and thoughts I had about my boyfriend. I love him infinitely, and I want to spend my whole life with him. But my past stupid actions haunt me and I feel extremely guilty about them. Because of all these thoughts, I went to a psychologist and a psychiatrist for a very long time, I was diagnosed with OCD, because I was constantly worried that I had cheated, that I had done something bad in the relationship, I was constantly looking for some kind of betrayal, I looked in the Google timeline where I was every day, did I definitely not cheat anywhere. It seemed to me that I could not trust myself. I considered myself the worst girl in the world. I constantly confessed to my boyfriend for my every thought and every action, I had to be crystal clear in front of him. My boyfriend asked me to stop it, he said that he doesn't care what I thought and what I did, he knows that I love him and he loves me. And I really never hid anything from him, not a single thought or action. But I am ashamed of it now. I also had a period when I doubted whether I loved my boyfriend. I also told him about it, because I was afraid that I don't love him, so why should he be with me? But he said that he knew that these were only foolish thoughts, and so they really were. I think I don't deserve my boyfriend, because he is the most perfect person in this world. He is responsive, kind, intelligent, cheerful, loving, understanding. And I am constantly in doubt, constantly on the negative side, and I feel that I will constantly blame myself for those actions for the rest of my life. Later everything was good and i thought i don't have OCD at all. But no... Now I've been working at my first serious job for 2.5 months. I have a mentor who helps me with my work. I always had thoughts when I sit close to a person "what if we kiss and if something happens" but I didn't attach importance to them, I just tried to avoid situations where I can sit close to a man. and one day my mentor sat next to me and we tried to solve the problem (I work in IT). I started having very strong obsessive thoughts. "what if we kiss? what if he gets close to me now and it happens? it will definitely happen. i think i want it too. i want him to kiss me. what about my boyfriend? can i cheat on him right now? if he the kissed me I wouldn't push him away. now I'm going to kiss him myself. What if I put my hand on his and it will be like in the movie. Wtf? would I betray him if the mentor himself kissed me? I think I want him to kiss me. if there were all the circumstances, would I cheat? and the answer was yes" . This thoughts very scary me. Thought that i might cheat on my bf. And now, I can't get over it. I don't communicate with my mentor except for work. the truth is that I really like the look of it. I have never had such thoughts before that I CAN CHEAT. I was always 100% confident in myself. and when this thought came and I asked myself "could I cheat if he kissed me, would I kiss him back?" and the answer was yes and it just drives me crazy. This thoughts was 5 seconds. now I'm afraid that I could betray at that moment. I don't know what should i do. I really could betray my boyfriend? Or it is just intrusive thoughts? I feel like i already kiss him. I am tired of this thoughts. I know that I don't love my colleague, this is intrusive but it makes me feel like a cheater. I said about this thoughts to my partner. He said to me that i should calm down and it is just a thoughts. For almost 2 years now, my life revolves around the word "cheating". me and my boyfriend, who knows all about it, can't stand all my thoughts anymore. it is really very hard, and I know how hard it is for him to be with me, a person who is always negative and feels a constant sense of guilt. i have been scrolling through this situation for 3 weeks now. I can't shake the feeling that I might betray. I feel like I already did. I don't know if I would do it. I feel like a cheater because I thought I could do this. Please, help me, is it ocd or i just cheater and might to cheat? Sorry for my bad english and thanks for your opinion

Not looking for any crazy reassurance here but once you start “not engaging”with thoughts, is it common for them to pound you all day still? Do you just keep not engaging all day long for however long it lasts?

Can anyone answer this? I have always since I’ve had ocd since birth, not known what it is like to not have all themes of ocd- for example, I have always seen the world in a contaminated and unclean way, non-moral people as threatening and hostile. Now the question is: many therapists say that do not provide reassurance that things ARE clean, people are not hostile, etc. BUT, how would I even know what reality really is, what truth really is, If I don’t have the understanding first that okay- things actually ARE clean. Please reiterate this point. How am I supposed to know? It was literally 20 years later that my mom once mentioned to me that people are really happy, and they work joyfully. It opened my eyes and I thought Why has no one mentioned this to me- understandably so, everyone thought I was normal like them and they don’t even imagine what it’s like to be in the OCD STATE. I never felt this way? It made me understand that life, reality and people are very very much different and it was OCD which has distorted the lens from my eyes. Now the real thing is- to get normal and better, would it not be helpful for a therapist to point out every single way a NORMAL human being experiences and interacts with life? But if they keep hiding this aspect that okay- things are contaminated, they are dirty, the sufferer will never know logically what really is the truth, unless of course their ocd gets cured. Even when ocd is curing, I feel lost to know what is the truth. Is it important to know the truth?

Hey guys! I’ve been struggling with constant anxiety and rumination for a few weeks now really it’s been longer than that but I was still working so I was able to get my mind off of it for a little bit. Now I’m waiting to start my new job Monday and have been home alone just ruminating. This theme is that I’m going crazy and need to check myself in somewhere and my thoughts are confusing and don’t make sense sometimes. Idk how to stop it. I haven’t done erp in a few years due to finances. I just want time be able to calm down again. From the time I open my eyes until I can finally get to sleep I’m having panic attack thoughts without the physical racing heart and stuff. Has anyone else experienced this? If so what did you do to help it? I’m not on medication.

I don't if I can do this anymore 😔

Interview of some sort I’m doing an art project and I am going to need you to answer a few questions: 1. What’s your imaginary world ? 2. What’s the difference between imaginary and your reality world ? 3. Are you unsatisfied with your reality ? 4. How do you cope with your reality?

I don't need exams but does anyone have multiple themes that thrive off of one type of compulsion? I realised I had this years ago and wondering if anyone else has/ had the same issue. I think I may have had 2-4 themes thriving off of one compulsion.

i made a post (on a different app for girls supporting girls) about me washing my hands. I just washed them for 2 minutes and it felt so relieving. I got made fun of by the other girls and another girl told me “ Nice, hope you added soap because if you didn’t you just showered the germs on your hands.” I want to go wash my hands again, I used soap but maybe it wasn’t enough.

My question is if we had a theme three years back We do erp on that thoughts the theme will go away Bcoz it doesn't get the importance and priority from us...right... Then again after one year the thoughts pop up with same theme Why??? Can anyone say something on this?? Does we are not doing correct erp work or else we are not removing all the compulsions from our life Why the hell they will come back...after some months or a year??

I'm realizing I'm having a hard time responding to intrusive thoughts from a certain OCD theme I'm having. They relate to obsessing over whether I'm "living right" or "not falling behind" when it comes to dating or having relationships. When I see or hear about another couple I automatically get a lot of anxiety and I think "What if there's something wrong with me and thats why I'm not with anyone right now." or "What if I'm living all wrong." In response to this stress I quickly recount how many dates I've been on or try to recall to myself how many guys I'm talking to or if I think a guy may ask me out or something. Or I compulsively talk to guys (which usually leads me to getting hurt because they're shitty guys anyway.) I'm tired of this cycle and I'm ready to use exposures but I'm unsure how to approach this. Any advice or thoughts?

Not sure this is the best title, but my situation is that every time I see my therapist, she adds another diagnosis. So, initially I went to her after being told by my ENT that my breathing issue sounds like OCD. Ok. Cool. I can accept that. Let’s work on it. But now, every session, she adds something else. Now it’s OCD, ADHD, depression, GAD, somatic symptom disorder, PTSD, and health anxiety. Is this normal? Do other people seek help for OCD and then get diagnosed with additional things?

I love image metaphors! When my therapist says them, they definitely help with my ocd. A favorite of mine is that ocd is an annoying guest at a party. Instead of slamming the door in its face, you say, hey thought! Come on in, make yourself at home, join the party. And it might try to bother you still, but you’re too busy with the other guests and having fun, it pay it much mind.

im about to give up. im struggling and nothing helps.i dont wanna be here anymore with these thoughts and fears.

I've been pent up and I know I am but I'm scared to mas****** cuz what if I'm doing it cuz I'm turned on by the thoughts I'm having or think of it during and get off on it. I have been unable to have alone time, havent even tried, just thinking about it scares and disgusts me. this isnt normal. I feel like I want to sometimes and it'll just remind me of the thoughts, sometimes they dont even turn me off. I've never had a sexual relationship before, I dont remember ever being turned on by someone my age or older and sometimes when I have these thoughts I feel like they turn me on. That's what causes the panic most of the time. now when I even look at kids I feel like I have a reaction that I don't want happening. I cant tell if its panic making me feel this way or if its cuz sometimes I pay more attention to my groin to see if it causes a reaction, sometimes I'm not paying attention to it and I have a reaction or what feels like one. In the past when things like this have popped up when i was *yk* it didnt make me feel good, didn't help me finish, it turned me off. I keep reminding myself of that. But having these thoughts sometimes make me feel like I want to touch myself, I don't, I never will after thinking them. I'm scared. children and BABIES aren't sexually attractive. I know that. but it feels like my body doesnt. I am on my period right now, I know it's affecting my hormones but that doesn't change the fact I'm thinking these things, and that any little reaction or feeling I have down there reminds me of those thoughts. Even if its pain, the pain will make me think it because its in that region. I have had these thoughts happen before a few years ago and they went away eventually, I didn't touch myself then either but I had dreams and I know one time the dream (more like nightmare) involved a child. I didn't do anything in the dream nor did the kid, but in the end when I woke up I got off. I was delirious, tired and horny but not delirious enough not to remember it and it's haunting me now. Why was I horny?? cuz of a kid I dreamed of?? a child!!?? just thinking about it now is making me shaky and sick, but why didn't it then?? I think I need serious help, what if this isn't pocd what if I'm just a p***?? I want help so bad. I want to fix this, if it carries on any longer, if I can't get help soon, I might just ki** myself. I'd rather do that than any of the other things my body feels like it wants. It's disgusting and wrong, I'd never hurt a child the way my mind keeps telling me I would, and I'd never do it to get off. So WHY am I having a reaction to these thoughts?? I've tried to acknowledge them without actually accepting them, but it doesn't feel like it's helping. It's just daily panic and confusion.

Hey guys so I’m new to this. I struggle really bad with religious ocd on top of other themes of ocd i have. But the religious ocd and POCD I have are definitely the hardest two. Today was so hard for me because I was freaking out all day about the eclipse and if it was the end of the world. I grew of in a very strict church and being gay was not acceptable so now I feel I’m morally wrong and unlovable in a sense. I don’t really know how to explain it. Wether it was from my youth pastor outing me on stage in front of all of my friends and hundreds of students, to them praying over me for years on end, before I finally left the church. Yet I still question if my salvation is safe or not. I question if God loves me etc. it gets so bad that I’m convinced everything I do is because I’m possessed by a demon. And I’ll start to vomit. Literally vomit. It sounds wild I know. Wether it’s music my ocd deems demonic or movies or spiritual things such as tarot cards that I enjoy. But my mind will convince me if I use them I will go to hell because that’s what I was taught for so long. I just wish I could get better but I don’t know how and I’m so hopeless.