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I don't like myself anymore. OCD took my personality. I don't know if this is my reality. Why does it feel real?

Nsfw tw// a compulsion I struggle with is m-sturbation. when the groinal responses and thoughts get to bad I do that to gain some sense of relief. but sometimes I end up agreeing with the thoughts or think bad stuff while doing it just to “give in” and also “test myself” and finish so i can find some relief. but IMMEDIATELY afterwards is a sense of shame and regret of wtf did I just do? i guess doing this gives me a sense of control over whatever this is so i try to agree with it but the compulsion is so gross and so is the theme so why would i ever find relief. i honestly believe im a p in denial. my pocd has been acting up non stop for almost 2 and a half months. I feel like im going to cry

Hi not sure if this is ROCD. My boyfriend had a lot of money when we got together, and now he’s broke. My mind keeps telling me I’m only with him for the money even though I know that I love him. It’s thoughts like “Yah he might be broke right now but you’re only staying because you know he’ll make money again.” I wouldn’t be with a man I didn’t love money or not. I wouldn’t leave a man I love money or not. What would you call this type of OCD and how do I stop it?

I’m not sure if this is part of ocd I constantly get thoughts of people I had a thing with in the past but I’m in a relationship that I’m happy in I have rocd and when me and my bf are bad is when it’s worse I’ll be going over what I had in the past And also feel like I oversexualise them I just feel like a bad person and terrible girlfriend

i went to target with my sister, and i got into a mindset so bad i’m questioning everything right now. she was walking in front of me, and at one point i walking more in her direction, took a step towards her while having attention on her butt. i think i took the step bc i wanted to feel a groinal while thinking of her butt, but i don’t want that to be true. after, i couldn’t look at her, and i had a few moments where i genuinely felt like i wanted to do something sexual. i genuinely felt and thought that way. when we got in the car, i had a really bad moment like that, as i think i leaned in her direction while having a groinal. i started crying, but couldn’t take my focus off the road for the rest of the way home. now i’m in my car and i feel as though this is really the end. combined with every other horrid thing i feel about my family, children and animals, my life only feels like doom. it was literal hell tonight, and i never thought it would get that bad. i don’t know what to do, i feel like i should be waste

Hello my name is Aidan I am 16 years old about 4 months ago I was on a call with my friends and we were talking about life and one of my female friends told me to rate the guy she was talking to I said no cause I’m not gay and they started saying that yes your gay and made me take a gay test and I got bisexual I started getting anxiety from it and stressing I cried the first day ever sense then I have lost attraction to girls I stare at guys I get intrusive thoughts about being gay but now it just says your gay I went to a ocd doctor and I got diagnosed with OCD but she said that hocd was just a sub category of normal ocd I am very scared I don’t know what to do I have always liked girls I have had long relationships with girls too I still get erections to girls if that means anything but idk what to do someone please explain I keep doubting myself in my head and deep down it says your gay but I was never gay and I don’t know if you go from straight to gay in one day

If i was a child (12 and 13) and Ive made separate horrible mistakes that my pocd says im a p and a chomo for, should I be forgiven?? I had no idea how horrible the mistakes were when I was 12 and 13... I really truly didnt... im 22 and about to turn 23 in July...

The constant fear of harming or abusing a child has made me stay in and not want to go outside. It’s such an awful, uncomfortable fear that scares me so much. By avoiding outdoors I feel so isolated but I feel by keeping myself in I’m keeping others safe. Does anyone else ever feel like this?

Lately my ocd has shown back up big time. I’m coming close to the end of my pregnancy and my hormones typically really affect it. Currently living in the existential/ harm themes and fear of developing psychosis and going to hurt my loved ones! Questioning if things are real too which then makes me even more anxious because I think I’m slipping into psychosis! Anyone else experience this? Just not the headspace I want to be in before birth

Is hoarding a symptom of OCD? I tend to hoard things electronically. I tend to add a bunch of videos to my YouTube watchlist. I save a lot of items in my reading list and I add so many songs to my playlists. Is this normal, or could this have to do with my OCD? Thanks for reading

Does anyone recall what triggered there ocd or has anyone gotten a proper explanation of why this happens? I know people say it attacks what you love the most. And can someone explain HOW it feels so real. I’m SO tired.

So long story short I used to watch lesbian porn because I realized I was a very sexual child growing up and it aroused me. Still always had crushes on boys my whole life. And I finally got a bf who is the sweetest guy and I love him so much. I know I’m not gay but ever since ocd my whole thought process has changed like one time I was kissing my bf and bc of this disorder it’s hard for me to get aroused with him rn though I know I am because I used to feel it when we got togther a lot and I’m still very much attracted to him in every way but I guess bc I did t feel aroused while kissing him I realized I was trying to think of lesbians but I caught myself before and I told myself that’s not me like why did I go straight to that. And I realized my thinking has become so black and white anytime my bf does something and I question it my mind is it’s because you’re a lesbian. Whne I know that’s not who I am I have always loved men and I want the whole husband kids and white picket fence life and everything and I have this amazing bf who loves me who I jjst want to be with I know I’m not gay or on the spectrum I do find lesbian porn arousing because I am a sexual being but my head can’t seem to understand that I jjst love men and only want to be with them. I know OCD doesn’t reaping to logic but my libido is low again and I just want to kiss my bf and sleep with him. Being with a women doesn’t excite me and everything I do with my bf I wouldn’t do it with a women I’ve always wanted a bf and now that I get one this shit happens. Has anyone experienced this pleas help I know I’m not gay I know I love being with men it’s just hard to see that to especially because my loss of libido.

I obsess on being lonely all the time. I feel like I’ve always struggled with feeling alone my whole life. Idk if it’s because my parent took their life or what it is. But if I don’t have a best friend at any given time it makes me feel like something is wrong with me and I’ll be forever alone. I do have social connections I just always feel like I’m not part of the “IN” crowd. Not sure why.

Went down the rabbit hole this morning after I got off a call with my nurse practitioner. We decided to up my fluvoxemine and change from Zyprexa to Abilify because my intrusive thoughts and depression seem to have worsened. For whatever reason after I got off the call, panic set in maybe about changing meds or upping my dosage. My mind was racing and I couldn’t calm down. I probably said “kill myself” and “I don’t want to kill myself” a hundred times. I haven’t had a panic attack in a few weeks and this one was bad. I’m finally calmed down but still having the intrusive thoughts. What have I done to deserve this. I can’t take it anymore.

Went on this date with a very creepy guy and my friend had encouraged me to go becuase she thought it would help me get out of my comfort zone and I agreed after thinking about it for a little while because before I went on the date he seemed nice enough and I decided I would go and I was explaining to my other friend why I went and I mentioned that my friend had encouraged me and that I took her advice because I know myself and I can be really picky so I was trying to not be like that but then I worry that I’m like putting the blame on her even though it’s not really her fault that I chose to go and she had good intentions either way but I feel bad telling people that and I don’t know why I did and now my brain keeps telling me that I’m blaming her and that it’s her fault but it’s not her fault but now I keep getting those “what if it’s her fault” things and I keep saying no she just encouraged me and that isn’t anyone’s fault. And I would never say out loud its her fault that I went on the date because that is literally an insane thing to say, but I also wouldn’t have gone had she not encouraged me. She was just encouraging me to do whatever she thought I wanted to do so i shouldn’t feel this way idfk what’s going on.

Did anyone completely stop drinking alcohol because of OCD, and if not, how are your symptoms with it?

I think I've hit rock bottom with my SO-OCD and ROCD. Now I am not certain what I feel. I keep having this depressing thought/feeling that I'm suppressing/giving up a long term relationship with a woman. I keep feeling the urge to check how I feel about being with a woman. When I ask myself, I don't really feel anything about it, it doesn't excite me and then I remember how much I love my husband and want to just be with him. Can OCD make you feel false urges/desires? Please anyone, help me out. Will I overcome this?

Hey guys! Just wanted to give a friendly reminder that OCD will do everything in its power to distress us and make us think our theme is real. OCD will cause false feelings, sensations, and urges but just remember it is a symptom of OCD and not indicative of our real wants and desires. Here’s an example of how much OCD will affect our bodies. I once had a really bad episode of pregnancy OCD (a theme where i convinced myself I was pregnant even if it was biologically impossible). My OCD clung onto it so it intensely convincing me I somehow had to be pregnant that I literally missed a period that month fueling my OCD even more. Spoiler alert: I was not even remotely pregnant, but that’s a prime example of how much OCD will literally manipulate our bodies in order to keep us in the OCD cycle. We got this guys! Keep fighting! 😊

I’m new to this app so this is a little weird for me but in really need help. I somewhat recently developed (like 6 months ago it started to get really noticeable) psychogenic itching and it’s horribly bad. I’m at college rn and have a lot of home life stresses on top that (grandpa passes, parents splitting) so I understand why the itching is getting so severe but I do also think as I become more aware of my ocd and learn about it that it is also contributing to worsening triggers/traits/symptoms of ocd as a whole. I’m okay with that as it means I’m learning about myself but god the itching is unbearable. I’m super sensitive to temperature (when I’m getting physically warmer mainly) I’m very aware of how my body feels and that is a huge trigger for this. Anyways, my ENTIRE body (literally everything but my feet) get insanely itchy within seconds of realizing I’m getting warmer, I get nervous about it happening, I think about it when I wasn’t before, I get flushed from something, or even just having to transition from one place to another. I keep randomly missing classes, not going to eat, if I get frustrated with homework I have to take a break, chores, I can’t even work out because the heat of doing so causes it. I need to know how to get rid of this it’s killing me. I know I’m not supposed to itch and when I don’t it just gets stronger and stronger until it’s so uncomfortable I have no choice, then when I start to itch it gets even worse. I can’t mentally fight this and make it stop because it’s SO bad. Please tell me I’m not the only one dealing with this issue and PLEASE tell me someone knows a way to stop it that isn’t just exposure response therapy (that is totally an option but I personally can’t do anything with that till I’m home from college for the year). The more it happens the more I worry about everyday and the worse it gets. It was like maybe once when I did physical activity at first and only on my head then my head when doing homework and then the full body very rarely and now it’s everything multiple times a day. It just happened from me moving a box off my desk in the dorm. This is scary please tell me someone knows what do. (Sorry for such a long rant).

I called a therapist to consider switching my therapist and told her about my thoughts and then she asked me “is it the ocd thoughts? Don’t you have a plan to do it?” SERIOUSLY?????????????