Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I have been seeing a lot of commercials with Howie Mandel talking about OCD. Very informative about what OCD really is and isn’t. Great to see this information out there. Thanks Howie!!

He got into a relationship 2 weeks after telling me he didn’t want one. After a year of me and him being together, a totally of 2 weeks it took him to find another girl. Am I that replaceable? Am I that unworthy? Why am I this jusr so fucked yo that I’m honestly doubting my place on this earth. If someone I thought I loved could leave me that easy then what does that mean about me? I’m crying and thinking and hating myself and I’m so unsure what I’m to do now

I’m having difficulty sleeping again. My left arm is hurting and I’m experiencing a slight headache. I can rationalize it out but it’s still keeping me up because I’m scared I will die in my sleep. (My arm hurts because of crocheting for hours on end and my headache is from sinuses) I shouldn’t be scared because I know I’ll go to Heaven. But it’s still keeping me up. I think about death then my son and husband and how they would be devastated. And keeps going… Any tips to help me sleep

It genuinely feels like this disorder is taking away my whole life. I cant go outside and hangout with the people I love or even be around strangers because my thoughts will include them and I’ll just get really uncomfortable and anxious. It has made me distance myself from so many ppl in my life and made me have thoughts and feelings that I don’t want and that I hate making me feel like a monster and a disgusting person. Sometimes I’m genuinely so close to taking my life. It feels like there’s no hope for me at all and that I’ll be like this forever fighting my own brain till I’m old and on my death bed. I’m supposed to be enjoying my summer but I just can’t. I cant go outside, I can’t go on social media, hell I can’t do anything because there will be a child around that will trigger me into a spiral. I can’t stay all summer locked up in my room and constantly making excuses to not go out. It’s been feeling so real too like I’m really the type of person that I don’t want to be and it’s so scary.

I usually don’t write this much in the detail, but now I’m really scared, please help. So I had this “basic” intrusive thought if you don’t do that that will happen and of course I couldn’t resist and did it. But the problem is the thing I did is to put in mouth just a little (i mean really just a little) body lotion. In the past my I was really scared of getting anything like that in my mouth. Really scared. When I did put (really just a little lotion) in my mouth I immediately spit it out. But then my other side of ocd started acting up and I started to panick. Now i’m VERY scared i’ll get posioned and die. I researched a lot on google, and now I feel like I’m having some of the symthoms. I should go to sleep now, but I can’t forget this. Is there anything to worry about? (thank you for every answer, this is kind of embarrasing)

Am I the only one who feels different for having my ocd manifest in completely different ways than most of the people I know that struggle with ocd? My type of ocd relates to me not eating due to thinking there are worms in my food, which lasts for weeks, it’s this constant obsession of the grossness of worms and my fear of them. Everytime I tell someone this they think it is some sort of schizophrenia, but I am diagnosed with ocd because I dont see worms, I just can’t get the idea of them being in my food out of my head. So when I explain it to people, they constantly bash me for it, tease me about worms, call me weird, and one time my ex boyfriend started telling his friends to start showing me photos of worms to anger me. I just feel so different and although exposure therapy has been suggested for me, I just can’t seem to think of the concept of being comfortable with worms without crying.

So I’m a new mom and postpartum I’ve been dealing with PCOS which sucks so bad because I know I would never hurt or want to hurt my child. I’ve never dealt with these types of thoughts before having a baby so I know it has something to do with Postpartum OCD which is what my therapist diagnosed me with. But I was explaining to my therapist about gronal responses and she basically acted like what I was explaining was a bit taboo. I have talked to my best friend about this and she explained that gronal responses can happen at reasonable and unreasonable times and it’s like beating yourself up for breathing bc it’s uncontrollable. I guess I just want to make sure I’m not a creep for having gronal responses bc my therapist confused me and made me feel even worse for having these.

Firstly, congrats to all of you! It’s very inspiring to see so many of these badges and I hope to join you one day. I have 2 questions: 1. How long did it take for therapy to noticeably improve your symptoms? I know everyone is different, I’m just trying to get an estimate. 2. Do any of you have “Pure O?” I’m just terrified that my pure o will be too hard to treat.

Hey guys, I’ve been dealing with a lot of DPDR with my anxiety and ocd being pretty constant. I have a fear I’m going into psychosis. Idk if you can be aware of your own psychosis and I know we’re not supposed to ask for reassurance but I truly feel crazy and the dpdr and existential ocd is not helping. I feel like I can’t even do the exposures because my anxiety is so high. Anyone else been through this?

I have been with my boyfriend since I was 16, I am now 23. I was head over heels for him for a couple of years then I went to undergrad and started having thoughts/fears I cheated on him with another man. I would then convince myself I did. Then my ocd got really bad and I convinced myself I was gay, since that time I have been fighting with my thoughts 24/7 trying to decide if I am or if I am not. I wasn't able to eat, sleep, etc. The anxiety has gotten less but it still affects me and my relationship. Now I feel like I am numb to my boyfriend. I never want to have sex, I get scared.. While we have sex I constantly question how I am feeling. Is this normal? I know OCD attaches to things that are important to you, so I like to think its just because I love him so much that all my themes revolve around potentially losing him and it came in a time when I was 5 hours away from him consistently at school. IDk what I'm trying to get from this, just to rant or see that I'm not alone. I am now 6 hours away from him in graduate school so I have other stressors impacting me but I am obsessed with finding out if I truly love him or if I am gay even though before all of this started I never had these thoughts but now I am constantly questioning to the point I've almost convinced myself its true. My anxiety is the worst if I see homosexual women but I also fear I am attracted to women bc I notice them more now I feel like and feel like I have lost my attraction to men. Is this normal? I've been dealing with it for 2.5 years. I want nothing more than to be happy and content with my boyfriend but I cant even tell my true feelings anymore.

My fiancé and I of 7 years just broke up because I am an idiot. I’m in a lot of pain. I can’t let her go. I’m just such an idiot. We’ve been long distance for awhile and she was getting ready to move in with me but not anymore bc It’s truthfully all of my fault and I did this to myself. I let my insecurities get the best of me by accusing her of cheating and I know that’s wrong and there’s no excuse for it. I know she would never do that but I just get so extremely scared and paranoid that somethings going on without my knowledge but if you met her you would know that she would never do anything like that. She truly is an angel. I’m just such an idiot. And I yell and cuss at her when I get frustrated and angry. I’m so ashamed. How could I have become such a crappy partner. I feel terrible about it and it’s all my fault. I don’t know how to communicate my emotions and I get so frustrated because I feel like I’m not being heard even when she’s listening to me. I just needed someone to talk to. That’s my reasoning for posting this. I made my bed so now I have to lay in it. I know she loves me a lot. I told her I would get therapy which I really want to but I just can’t afford it. I’m going to save up though. She said she would wait for me until I get better and work things out. I just love her so much. I can’t believe I ruined everything between us. But maybe it’s for the better. I’m not a good partner and I’ve only had a flood of intrusive thoughts that I’m going to hurt her when she moves in which I would never do but it just feels so real, it scares the shit out of me.

Hello, today I feel that I will not be able to overcome my OCD, there are so many intrusive thoughts that are coming into my mind, and I don't know how to manage or leave them there without making compulsions. Can you recommend me what I can do? I have sessions with a therapist every week, but after 10 sessions the thoughts are still strong and I don't know how to manage them. Thank you!

I wake up and immediately groinal responses and intrusive thoughts. I hate this. I just want to live normally. I don’t trust myself at all, im convinced im a p.

My little sister has been dealing with OCD for years. We’re finally at the point where she has medication, but she’s having a really hard time taking it and refuses therapy. I’m at a loss. It took us years to be able to get her this medication and every time I try to bring it up she gets mad. Does anyone have any advice on how I can help my sister with her struggles? For the record, I do not have OCD.

I'm struggling really badly with terrible thoughts and urges. I feel I'm going crazy. Im a kind person and I can't cope with it.

I feel 99.9% certain that i am a doll. i cant stop thinking sbout and and its getting to the point where people are asking me if im ok but if i dont act like one somethings going to happen to me.

Since the age of 11/12 i've struggled with OCD. It started when I was at secondary school. My compulsion was to constantly check my homework was packed for the next day, this would happen all too frequently. I never really knew what was happening and just accepted this is who I am without really speaking to my parents about it. OCD has continued and various sub types have appeared and disappeared over time, still at this point I just thought "this is me and everyone has their quirks" I'm now into my mid 30's and in particular the last 3/4 years have been incredibly difficult. I was definitely in a state of depression alongside with chronically bad OCD and anxiety. I'm thankfully past that stage without much external help or medication. Since the start of this year I've been doing mindfulness exercises and learning more about OCD. I live in the UK and have not seen a doctor about this and therefore never been diagnosed. The general advice seems to be to use telephone talking services? I'd be interested to know more from people living in the UK about what there experience has been with our public or private services?

Hello, I’m very new to this and have never confessed the fact that I struggle with severe scrupulosity (religion ocd) to anyone before. I am not officially diagnosed but I have spent countless hours researching and know that I am dealing with this horrible mental illness. I can’t function anymore. The intrusive thoughts are getting so bad. The moment I wake up they begin to pop into my head & I can’t even sleep because they are just running all over my mind. The thoughts are so bad that I don’t want to repeat them but they mostly are blasphemous bad thoughts. I avoid praying and religious services because it triggers my bad thoughts. I cannot control anything and I have no access to therapy because I’m so scared to ask for help and don’t know how to even describe to my family what I am going through. It’s so debilitating and I just keep repeating these scripts to myself to try and relieve my mind but it just starts all over again. It’s non stop and I know I cannot keep going like this. I don’t know whats real or isn’t, I just want a break. I’m so scared of everything and it’s interfering with my life more and more. If anyone could share some words of encouragement or tips it would be greatly appreciated.

I just lost my job today again and my parents (who possibly both have OCD) have been super frustrated that I have been let go from so many jobs. My dad said “I’m so tired of this s***” and now hearing that is making me feel worthless. My boss was very mean and had unrealistic expectations and I even prayed about it too. I just feel like a failure honestly. I do have a couple of upcoming interviews, but I just want to give into my compulsions so bad. I am a Christian and believe that God will work things out, but my parents are pissed at the way I continue in jobs. I am trying everything I can, but my parents also seem to control everything and it is frustrating.

I had an intrusive thought. It was sticky. It made my head buzz and my chest feel tight. I thought will this be all day? I haven’t felt so scared of a thought in a while. It was intense, and I was not sure what to do, other then check in with my body and not to give in to the fear or uncertainty! The time was 9:43 when I was terrified I may act on my thought and by 9:57 the thought went from…I will….i could….i may….it’s totally possible…..anyyyyyyyy minuteee noowwwww…to wow the moments passed!!? Give yourself 10 mins 😜