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Hi guys I just shared my story recently and I’m scared. When I keep busy it’s a little better, but I feel really awful right now. I’m remembering what I said to my sister during our fallout from what I did and the result of it. Is making me really sad and scared. I found out she is also joining NOCD so I’m a little worried she will see my post and I realized I never said my “intrusive” thoughts were not true. What if she thinks I meant all of them, I don’t think a lot or even everything I said to her was even true it was practically all false and untrue intrusive thoughts but I can’t seem to totally trust myself on it since I feel like I’m just saying it because she might see this, but also I’ve been wanting to tell her it wasn’t true what I said and did. I feel a relapsing of emotions I want to go back and change it I hate my reality it’s good but I’m constantly reminded of what I did and I feel sick. How does one live with this change and move on when the person you love the most you push off the edge and now she drew boundary off of our relationship it is getting a bit better but it’s nothing like before we were so close we shared and told each other everything, I feel like I want to die and come back to everything back in the past to be different. How do I live like this…. She is doing it and I know it’s really hard and I know I’m victimizing myself but I wonder if I was even doing my best I wasn’t working on my techniques because I felt it didn’t work and I let go but I didn’t realize how bad it could be I mean that’s why I went back to therapy but even then I wasn’t working completely on it despite feeling like I did sorta. Was I doing the best I could then? I hope so but if that was my bets I feel like a loser. how do I go through my day and be excited for life when I feel so distraught and depressed. I need help so bad.

I’m just feeling so freaking upset. I’m constantly having to talk myself down from panic attacks and self-sabotage. I’ve suffered with the same theme(s) for YEARS at this point and I’m just done I’m just so sick of it. And, I’m so freaking scared for when me and my boyfriend get married and have children because I want children so bad but I can’t even be off my meds for a week let alone 9+ months (my medication can’t be taken during pregnancy). I’m also scared because I feel awful that my boyfriend will be “stuck” with me once we get married. My OCD wants me to confess my innermost (obsessive) thoughts and feelings to him. Reality is blurred, when I have these flare-ups I’m sick to my stomach worried I may have done something bad and I’m constantly ruminating on whether I did or not. I just want this feeling to leave, and knowing that this is a persistent theme that I may deal with for a much longer time just makes me want to cry. I’m so afraid of hurting my boyfriend or having already hurt him, and it’s the same with everyone else in my life. And, I am Catholic, and the sacrament of confession for me gives me so many mixed emotions because it’s healing for me but at the same time I have to be so careful of what I say so I don’t start confessing as a compulsion, but then afterwards my OCD tells me I’m just not confessing because I’m guilty and I know it. I’m so so sick of this. I didn’t sleep last night and I can tell I’m tired physically but emotionally I’m too anxious to rest so I took some Benadryl and maybe it’ll help me fall asleep. But I just maybe need someone to talk to on this post.

i feel like i’m faking everything, like ive read it all and my brain has mesmerised it completely. i first started struggling with feeling like i was faking it when my pocd episode started, i’d research pocd to see if what i was experiencing was similar or if i genuinely was one. i read something that said some people with pocd avoid children but i don’t do this. i don’t purposely put myself them around them but if my mum is going shopping i’ll go with her and my head will be screaming at me saying im going for different reasons. the other day i went my sisters and i was wearing kinda a mesh top and my head was telling me i can’t wear that because there will be children around and that i can’t expose that to them even though ive wore the outfit multiple times before without these thoughts, ive always taken my time with what i wear because it’s not often i go out so when i do go out even to the shop, i attempt to dress as nice as possible. i still wore the outfit and it convinced me it was for that. another thing ive read is that some people with pocd can’t say the p word but i can say it, i just chose not to. i started to not say that word after i had read that piece of information. it’s not a word i’d usually say before all of this anyway but if it was brought up in conversation i wouldn’t overthink it. another reason why i feel like i’m faking it all is because im not getting anxious or anxiety around compulsions, i don’t even know what my compulsions are technically. i don’t know if i don’t feel the anxiety anymore because i take medication for it or what. i just know i don’t feel anxious anymore. when i see people on here who i relate to, i can’t do the thing ive read again because otherwise i’ll feel like im just copying them? the post could be made today and ive been doing something for idk weeks beforehand and i’ll still feel like ive seen a post similar.

Can any one recommend any grounding techniques to help me through my horrible panic attacks please, or any tips that can help me manage as I’m am at my ends with this 😩

I saw a TikTok video talking about “aesthetic attraction” and now I keep having to try and prove that I’m really attracted to women. I’m trying my hardest to analyze the types of attraction and make sure I’m feeling the right one, and it’s hard because I’ve already panicked about this before but ever since I saw that video I’m constantly worried that I’m somehow faking it or not really attracted to women but just don’t know it yet. Anyone else relate?

not really sure how to categorize this but I’ve been consumed with anxiety and fear for a few days now and I’m having an extremely hard time coping with it. I’ve been obsessing over dying recently but not in the sense that I am suicidal or thinking of harming myself, more so of how afraid I am that one day I’m going to die and that everyone I know and have ever known will also eventually die. I keep getting intrusive thoughts about me dying and different scenarios all in which I realize I am about to die. It’s been incredibly distressing especially since I can physically feel my chest tighten and myself panicking as soon as I think too much about it. The bigger issue lies in that I can’t help but ruminate over the thoughts which eventually leads to a panic attack. I’ve been crying over these thoughts for the last hour and I just can’t seem to make them stop and none of the exercises have helped because somehow someway I end up thinking about it all over again. I’m not sure if anyone else has dealt with this kind of intrusive thought or existential crisis. It’s just been even more difficult for me because for the most part I’ve felt happy this past month and have made progress with my symptoms and my overall anxiety. It feels like I just took 10 steps backwards in my progress due to this random surge of thoughts. Anyways, sorry for the long post. Writing this all out has helped calm me down a bit even if I don’t end up being able to sleep tonight 🥹

I have compulsions I did 10 years ago because of my pocd that still haunt me today. How do I forgive myself and move on?

I hope someone can respond... im genuinely struggling and i need support... I joined an OCD group three years ago that was from NOCD. There were minors in the GC, and when I was triggered by my hocd relating to stuff that was 18+, i vented about it to the GC and to some of the people in the pm's to a minors discomfort... my pocd says I engaged in P*dophillic behavior because of this... when i was just venting about my hocd... i dont ever want to ever be attracted to minors or kids at all... After doctor disrespect admitted to inappropriately messaging a minor my ocd is saying I did something similar to him and that I should be punished...

Hello, does anyone have any advice on trying to stop doing rituals? My top ones have a lot to do with counting and anxiety over certain things. •the main one that bothers me SOO much is my bedtime alarm routine. I set all my alarms and then turn my ringer on and off 6 times. Then proceed to make sure my charger is plugged in twice. Then open and close my phone 3-5 times checking that my alarm is set. Once I put my phone down I checking the outlet one more time and the alarm one more time. •when I close at work I have to check the air is off at least twice. Then check the candle is out even though we never light it. After I look the door I pull on it 5 times These are just some examples. can someone please help on how to stop or at least lessen these!!??

I hate saying this, but I’m extremely sad. I sit in my chair and dissociate. It’s hard for me to confess my feelings. I truly feel empty. OCD makes life so much harder to live…it really does:( along with that I have 4 other things to deal with mentally. I am Christian, but other Christian friends have excluded me. The only one I had to call for awhile was 988. People have disappointed me, and I’m aware that God will never fail. But I’m at the point in my life where I’m craving a romantic relationship, but it eats at me everyday. Love is a painful ideal. I found a celebrity that I’m attracted to, and I don’t know if anyone else has experienced this, but it actually eats at me. Like I hate it sometimes. He is married. I saw the picture, and though I know rationally that he is a celebrity…it really hurts. I am not delusional…and I don’t know why this is:/ I cut out everything he is on, because I get depressed when I see him. Though I rationally know God was with me in my darkest moments…most times people weren’t. I just want someone who chooses to listen to me. It sucks. And this is my last effort to be heard. I give up. It took a lot for me to write this. I will definitely be deleting, but I am so lonely. God bless you all🙂 Romans 8:29 Jeremiah 29: 11❤️❤️🫂

I really struggle with feeling guilty about enjoying things, just because of my moral ocd. and everytime it happens I get so depressed. I got triggered twice today. I was watching a video earlier today and the person kept insulting my favorite band and I clicked off and cried because my OCD was telling me I was a bad person for liking the band. Then a video got recommended to me titled z**philia is morally reprehensible, which just triggered my ocd into convincing me I'm one. I'm not attracted to animals at all/have no desire around them but I get bad intrusive thoughts. Especially because one of my big interests is werewolves. I've been attracted to werewolf characters before but not their wolf forms?? Just like their human self? I think their werewolf side is cool/cute but not in that way. But my ocd tells me it's still weird and I'm a z** and makes me doubt myself. Either way, it's the worst. OCD has ruined stuff so much for me that's it's stunted my ability to get connected/hyperfixated on stuff like I used to and it's really upsetting. Moral OCD is so hard. My meds didn't help it much either compared to other themes.

I think I have harm OCD, along with many other types of OCD. I have a call set up with a therapist on here tomorrow. I’ve been scared for practically my whole life to reach out for help, because I’m just embarrassed and don’t want anyone to think I’m crazy. My OCD started with hair pulling at a young age, but into adulthood has turned into so many things. The most distressing one being harm OCD, which presents as a fear of knives (I keep them all put up and hidden and never use them, they are gifts so I can’t throw them out or I would) as well as fear of being schizophrenic, having a psychotic break, or a demon possessing me as silly as that may sound. The demon thing started when I decided I wanted to be Christian, and now I’m scared of saying something and thinking god won’t like me anymore. It causes me a lot of distress and nobody I know understands it. Just wanted to know that there is more people out there like me, I feel so alone even surrounded by the people that “know” me the most.

Hi everyone! I was recently diagnosed with OCD after realizing my anxiety wasn’t generalized and learning that compulsions aren’t always visual/physical. I’m curious what compulsions you have/had that you didn’t realize were compulsions until you were diagnosed? For example, learning about rumination, reassurance seeking, and picking at skin as compulsions has been really eye-opening to me!

Listen I know everyone is going to tell me that reassurance isn’t the key to OCD recovery and while I agree with that for my future recovery the current theme I’m going through (which I will not disclose due to personal embarrassment) is so debilitating that honestly it’s affecting my ability to function normally day to day. I can’t do anything without worrying or feeling like an awful person. Tomorrow I’m supposed to reach out to my uncle who let’s just say should be someone who could give me some advice and reassurance. Like I said before I know I’m not supposed to seek this out but I can’t live with the uncertainty anymore it’s eating me alive and I need to be able to get back to being normal again. The thing is my uncle is probably going to think I’m insane when I speak to him and I’m so embarrassed. I’m so angry at myself and god for having this disorder. How do I deal with the embarrassment of having to open up to my uncle who might think I’m a weirdo after telling him about my OCD?

Relationships are so difficult, even without OCD, and yet some people make it look so easy, it hurts. It’s never been easy for me, and it makes me feel like I’m just not meant for love. I found someone that I liked, that I felt initially drawn to, but when you stop admiring someone from a distance and start putting in the work it becomes tough. I was quickly met with things that I thought were “weird” or “cringy” or “annoying” and I started obsessing and it scared and stressed me so much, because I finally found someone that I actually wanted to be with, but my preoccupation and obsession over his flaws made we worried that it wasn’t right and that it would be taken away from me…by myself! I felt like there were two parts of me fighting inside, and I wanted it to stop. We’re now dating but I’m still obsessed and worried all the time by the flaws that bug me so much. I keep feeling that if they bug me this much it means I don’t like him, and I’m trying to learn to accept them and live him unconditionally, but it’s difficult. One thing that has been kind of comforting to me in a way is knowing that there are people who are married on here who struggle with ROCD. It’s not that I’m happy that they’re struggling, but it gives me hope that even through the struggle I can choose love. It’s also comforting because I’m only 19 and it’s nice to know that there are older and wiser people that I can look up to who are struggling just like me.

Hello, nice to be here and meet you all. I have had contamination ocd since I was a young girl. I am 45. It has gotten so much worse since I had children and lost my dear mother. I feel like I have no one to talk to about it and I am desperately searching for help and for community. Thank you for any support. I want to enjoy life again without all this worry, guilt, doubt, and shame. I would like to be free.

I remember something that I've done when I was 19 years old when it comes to OCD. I tried to help someone with their OCD but they were underaged. I don't know why I decided to agree in doing this. I guess I just wanted to be nice or I had trouble saying no. I just don't know. But for the most part I've been trying to help this person with their OCD and I think it has helped them but in the mix of things I brought up really touchy, inappropriate topics that related to my OCD one way or another and it was in no way of trying to get with this person. I told this person that I wasn't exactly comfortable talking with a minor and after a while I told them straight up I didn't want to continue talking because of this. I looked through messages and I saw things that spiked my anxiety but I with read the entirety of those messages. This person suffered from POCD as I did and I just wanted to help them but I feel like I've slipped up here and there and I've said something irredeemable and wrong to this person. I can't do this. I feel like my life is over. I can't calm down. I can't stay still. I hadn't thought about this for years until I saw a video about a middle aged man talking to a minor. I can't do this anymore. I'm losing it. I'm spiraling and I don't think I can calm down. POCD is my biggest fear and this feels like a nightmare I badly want to wake up out of. But it's real, it happened, and I'm so scared and mad at myself. I HATE THAT I'VE DONE THIS. I HATE THAT THIS HAS HAPPENED AND I FEEL LIKE I'M A DISGUSTING PERSON. I'm so sorry. I just can't bring myself together. I can't do this. I was doing so well until I remembered this and I feel like my life is over. It feels like I've failed all of my friends and my family. It feels like I've ruined my life.

I don't want to be a pedophile. I don't want to hurt minors in any way. I only tried to help this person with their OCD and nothing more. I looked through the messages and I've been nothing but helpful to this person but I let them know what made me uncomfortable and things I wouldn't do. I knew better. I knew what to do and not to do, but I still feel wrong about this. At the same time, I don't think it would be wrong if a therapist helped an underaged person with intrusive thoughts that were sexual in nature. I don't know. I just don't want to be a bad person. I haven't had a spike in anxiety like this in a long time. It hurts. It sucks. I don't know what to do right now.

So apparently there were allegations against a very popular streamer that claimed he messaged a minor in DMs. This turned out to be true and he wasn't put on criminal charges. I still think it's very odd that a middle aged man would be privately messaging a teenager either way. This reminded me of a time where I was 19 and spoke with someone to help them with their OCD but they were underaged. I don't even remember why I said yes to talk with them, how we met, or why this happened in the first place, but it's bothering me extremely now. I know for a fact nothing inappropriate was said at all and I've even made it clear several times that POCD made me not want to really talk with this person. Again, I don't know how we eventually started talking, but we did. We don't anymore and it's been years. I do hope this person is doing okay and has improved with their OCD, but this still bothers me. I just don't know why we ended up speaking. Is this a legit worry or is anxiety just getting the best of me again?

I've been with my husband for 9 years. I've had ocd intrusive thoughts about him being unfaithful or masturbating to pornography or unfaithful things like that. But never did I want a divorce. Back in January of this year my husband said he wanted a divorce, so my children and I left to families house because we had no where to stay. I ended up getting a job, and during this time apart from my husband I nearly, if not completely, forgot what most of my ocd intrusive thoughts were when I was with him. I felt good about myself, refreshed, and knew I could make it without him. Fast forward he ended up wanting to talk and here we are trying again being married and a family. Now that I'm back, the thoughts and feelings are back! I feel miserable with him. I feel anger, resentment, I can't seem to heal when I'm woth him. I don't want to regret getting back with him but it's almost like I do. I'm starting to believe that not only enjoy but LOVE being alone. I actually love the feeling and my life when I'm alone.