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I've said this before but the thing I struggle with the most is the intrusive thoughts feeling like actual urges. The urge and overwhelming feeling that I'm gonna lash out at someone. 🥺 especially the people I love most

The fear: I’m not good enough The obsession: my pastors righteousness The compulsion: trying to prove his unrighteousness The story: my wife and I got kicked off the worship team because we were arguing a lot, it’s a lot better now but it’s still not where I’d like it… the pastor who kicked us off is guilty of adultery and in my state that’s even a felony. I’m feeling not good enough because I’m not righteous enough to serve but I haven’t committed adultery… there’s a major conflict here. To make matters worse, my wife picked sides with the pastor, even after I begged him to at least let her serve on the worship team as I self deprecated to prove that she is blameless and that I should be the only one to suffer this punishment. This all happened in January, now it’s July and I’m having a hard time still… Help! I just want these thoughts to go away and leave me alone… I can’t prove his unrighteousness, everyone knows about it and they like him more than me because I’m some sort of OCD freak to them, or maybe that’s just the OCD talking… help!

Since i had food poisoning, i developed fear, every little feeling of sickness in my stomach, i feel really anxious about my health. Now it became automatic, i just start to feel depressed, im so afraid of having something, become sick, even afraid of being alone and being sick. But one thing makes me really obsessing. I dont want to get checked. I know what you might think, this is avoidance, i should get checked as an exposure. When i told this to my therapist she quickly jumped to "im afraid, im avoiding so i should go, im avoiding cause they might find something" i mean yeah, who is not but thats not the main reason... am i the only one who dont want to get checked for every little reason? I dont want to go to the doctor everytime. If i would have to go everytime i feel something that isnt feel right i would be there every month... I dont like when people say you should go get checked, always make sure its not another problem. With this mentality i would go to the doctor evers 3 weeks... I know they cant say to not get checked, as they cant say to not take meds for mental health issues, this is a personal choice, but still it makes me obsess that i should get checked but i dont want, but if i ask someone else they say too that i should go cause its good and this just makes me feel worse. I have negative experiences with check ups. After covid i developed a very bad cough, it was a tic, it really made me suffer and i was afraid that i have problems with my lungs. I went to a doctor and they said i have a chronic lung illness, i cant do anything about it, it will get worse. I was depressed for the whole week. I couldnt process it. Then someone i know told me to go to the lung clinic and get checked there cause something isnt right about that first diagnosis, i went there and guess what. They found nothing. My lungs were healthy. This was a traumatic experience and i was really angry of the doctors. Second reason, my aunt works at the hospital, and when we had food poisoning she told us to not go to the hospital, only go if our eyes starts to get yellow, so only go if it gets worse cause we will get more illness if we go there.. so even someone who works there doesnt trusts the place... so because of these i developed this mindset that i only go if its a real problem. I dont think im avoiding doctors cause 2 months ago i had a back injury bc of work, and i knew this is something serious, its not ocd, and it wasnt a question that i need to go get checked, actually i wanted to go to know what is it. But there are symptoms that are really really scary for me but i think its bc of stress, and yeah im afraid that they might find something and i cant deal with it, but the main reason is that i dont want to go doctor to doctor to get checked and everyone says different things or noone says anything, and im just there suffering and being afraid. Oh and i forgot to tell you, in the lung clinic they didnt told me why do i have the nagging cough, they jjst prescribed me something. After years i still sufferend with it time to time, and this year i was so done with it, i wanted to find answers, and thank God i found it. A woman on youtube made a video about this,and she said that she went to doctor to doctor and non of them told her whats the problem, but eventually he learned from somewhere that the coughs are there cause of the coughing cycle, the way you stop it is to force yourself to not cough. I tried it, its very hard but it worked. So these things just streghten my view that only go to the doctor if you know its a serious problem. But now im still obsessed about my health and i feel fear that i dont go to get checked and it will be a bad decision

It’s been days but my brain still chooses not to function and it drives me crazy it’s been AGES AND erp is still not working is this thing even remotely a challenge for ocd?

These past weeks I’ve made phenomenal steps toward fighting back my OCD , I’ve either stopped having thoughts or minimized them and I’ve been able to focus on other things. However, last night I randomly started obsessing over one of my triggers and then I had this terrible disgusting dream about another one of my triggers. I used to tell myself “well as long as I don’t have dreams about it then it’s fine” well I just had a dream and now I feel sick to my stomach to the point of nausea. I made all this progress with my OCD and now it’s back again, I just want to cry, well I already am, but this is too much. This is like a sick joke

I have been feeling off lately ever since I got a new temporary jib through the agency. I was cleaning and had a housekeeping job, I took the job because I was desperate. Anyways, An ugly lady I don't like bumped into me with my arms / - shoulders and my mind can't get rid of this intrusive thoughts I'm so annoyed with myself. The only thing that will help me is get a massage. I've been depressed since I my thoughts are reminding me of this and I unfortunately do not have a lot of money to get a massage right now. Since I can't solve my problem at the moment I have felt/fallen into a deep depression and I have no more energy because of it and my thoughts. As well as financial anxiety. Uggg! FUCK! I hate having ocd. It's driving me nuts! Also, that since my thoughts are also thinking that the germs are getting everywhere. My mind is going nuts and my ocd has been acting up a lot. I'm also tired of life. I also have been having a bit of a negative mindset thanks to my fogged up mind and depression thanks to all of this. I really hate people with moles. Sorry it just grosses me out and fucks up my mindset when somebody I don't like bumps into me. Help! I need advice!

Where I live this girl was just shot and killed at a mall yesterday she was innocent but there was a fight between some other people and someone pulled out a gun and she got hit I didn’t know her at all but she’s around my age and I had seen tiktoks about it and I went to her page and just seeing her instagram and tiktok posts just days before her death really got to me her and her family had no idea what was gonna happen to her just a few days later and it’s just so scary to me because it just makes me feel so out of control or everything and something bad like that can happen to me or someone else no warning last Sunday my uncle died of a heart attack it was pretty random and he’s 51 no one saw it coming and just all of this together makes me really scared for my own life and it just scares me that my time could be coming and id have no idea it’s really scary to me because my biggest fear is death I don’t know how to make these feelings stop but i just feel really anxious if anyone has felt this way I would really really love to hear some advice or just anything I hate feeling this way

If I don’t think like “if I don’t do this in 8s my family will die” is it still ocd? I still will say if I don’t do it in 8s it doesn’t feel right but I never think stuff like my family will die or something. Is it still ocd? Help lol

Hey ! Does anyone think that intrusive thoughts are sinful? Does god punish us for our bad thoughts ?

Hi everyone (major TW) I just started therapy here at NOCD yesterday and I am still kind of…badly spiraling and I’m hoping that maybe some of you can make me feel better. I started having harm intrusive thoughts about my dog 8 years ago, and they went away mostly as she got older…until I got badly triggered by a tv show a few weeks ago and here we are. Since then, I’ve had horrible thoughts/visions of knives cutting into her (always her head and neck and always super graphic), words popping into my head (usually on the ends of sentences) about slashing, cutting and worse, and this constant physical feeling of being afraid that I’m going to harm her. Not that I want to, but I’m afraid it will happen, because I constantly feel it even though I don’t want to. I’m constantly aware of the feeling and thoughts being there 24/7 and am battling them all the time - checking the thoughts to see if they bother me enough, scared when or if I just feel numb, and am basically living on the edge of feeling like I’m going to do something horrible to her I don’t want to do. If I think about the words I get shivers down my spine and feel an intense feeling like adrenaline/fear and just want to get away from her asap. I’ve gotten the thoughts about my parents too, and feel the same way, but it’s a little easier to separate myself from them as my dog doesn’t understand. Has anyone else had this? I know I shouldn’t be looking for reassurance but I really need to know if this is actually OCD, or I should lock myself away and give this poor dog to someone else. She was my entire world until 3 weeks ago and now I’m just terrified 24/7 that I’m going to hurt her because it’s all I can think about. Please help me.

Recently I have been getting very terrible thoughts and groinal responses that feel like arousal. This is worse usually if I am tired or am just waking up. I could barely sleep. When these pocd things happen especially when im half asleep it feels as if my brain is letting the thoughts come and it feels like my body likes it (with the groinal response) I end up hitting myself in the head to make it go away. This is one of my compulsions. I hate ocd. Sometimes I just want to say im a p and a bad person to just get it over with. I feel like I’m hiding behind an ocd mask. I hate this. I want to cry but I can’t.

When I was 12 I made one of the biggest mistake in my entire life. Last night, my brain decided to replay that feeling over and over again to the point of starting to hate myself for it. Now I can't stop thinking that I need to be punished for it, I should never be forgiven and that I am a bad person. My partner should break up with me because I am a bad person and they don't know about it so I don't deserve to be loved at all. I know, however, that I made that mistake a long time ago, that I am a completely different person and that I am a good person now, and that's what matters. But I can't get myself to forgive my past self because if I forgive him, that means I'm a bad person for condoning what I did. Do you have any advice on how to overcome this? Thank you in advance

I posted a couple days ago about a video of that went along the lines of ‘at the end of the month everything I want will come to me an manifestation and the karma coming back’ if I sent the video back to the page which I did then later finding out that the page does black magic spells, I sent this video back during a time when I was sad and low and when I sent it, it said that this page doesn’t receive message requests so I don’t even know if it’s been seen and I blocked the page but it’s made me so anxious that black magic has been done on me and then me and my partner who was having a hard time at the time have now rekindled and I can’t get out my head it’s because of this page😣. It’s causing me so much anxiety and making me feel like I’m going to go insane if I keep thinking like this and feel sick & I can’t get out of this loop I’ve tried saying maybe it is maybe it isn’t but the thought of it scares me so much, I tried to tell myself my message hasn’t been seen and it’s okay and the page had 17k+ followers I wasn’t a follower and what’s the chance i get picked out of all them followers, I tried to tell myself it’s not guna work like that I’d need to pay something for the page to do any spells but nothing seems to be helping. can anyone give me any advice on this please? Has anyone had the same obsession? Normally magic and manifestations, karma etc doesn’t scare me i somewhat believe in it but it was something about the ‘black magic’ that doesn’t sit right with me and scares me. I just wanna go back to living my life again happy with my partner but this is getting in the way 😭

I just woke up out of nowhere with a terrible belly ache, accompanied with the overwhelming fear that I’m going to lose control and that there’s something more wrong with me aside from OCD. I’ve been doing very well the past week or 2, I haven’t felt anxious as much and typically if I’m not feeling very anxious I’m not having a lot of ocd flare ups. Yesterday however my boyfriend and I got into it over me not wanting to go on the boat for the 4th of July for 6 hours. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy I went now. I stayed sober, we got home late but I felt okay in the morning and had a decent time but at the time I wanted nothing more than to just stay at home and snuggle with my dog. My reasonings for not wanting to go were 1. I didn’t wanna drink and be out late because 2. I had to work tomorrow. The last reason was kind of a fluke, I was hoping for the icing on the cake reason, but I didn’t wanna go with the crew we were going with. I have nothing against the people we went with but they’re quite a bit younger than us and I just didn’t wanna go overall so I was grabbing at straws. Long story short, my boyfriend told his brother the reason I didn’t wanna go was cause of the other people going. This sent me over the edge, I was already irritated about us arguing, and now I was worried about everyone thinking I’m a stuck up person that didn’t like any of them. I felt backed into a corner, like now I had to go, and I ran through so many emotions at once and ended up just bursting into tears. That alone had me worried I was gonna lose control because of how many emotions I had just run through and how overwhelmed I was. It’s not a normal occurrence for me to explode into emotions like that, however I know it wasn’t a normal situation for us to be in. I just started my monthly cycle today too which could explain being a little “over emotional.” Although, I know my boyfriend shouldn’t have said that as it put me in a bad spot and he apologized for that. I have therapy tomorrow thankfully and I’ll be able to talk to my therapist about this. I’d say that my biggest ick with OCD is the fear of losing control of my mental health. It fluctuates and I feel confident in my ability to handle my lows, I feel like I get better at dealing with them every time they come. I get so worried that I’m gonna snap into something scarier, something I can’t handle, but I don’t even know what that would be. I get so anxious about getting on medication because I don’t want SSRI’s, I don’t wanna be backed into a corner to take them. I take ketamine before bed for anxiety and ocd which has helped quite a bit with day to day life I believe. I guess this is the end of my rant, I just hate feeling like I’m gonna lose myself :(

for so long now i have felt alone in my OCD symptoms. it feels like it’s never ending. one of the many parts is my physical urges that hurt. i push down on my fingers, usually the middle and thumb, so much that they hurt and bruise. i’ve recently pushed down on and grinded my teeth so hard they became loose and my gums inflamed. it’s exhausting but the urges never stop. i’ve tried resisting them so much, it just never sticks

how do i deal with extreme guilt over arousal feelings towards something i had as a kid? i feel like i still have those feelings now but i’m realizing now that the topic i had arousal feelings towards was very strange and abnormal. i even used to look up videos of it. it’s not an inappropriate thing to watch but having feelings of arousal to it without realizing that it’s weird is giving me immense guilt. i know people who have done worse things than what i’m so worried about and they’re living their lives happily, so why is it so hard for me to? i feel like these arousal feelings taint my character and make me a bad person. i was googling and reading that feelings of arousal towards something doesn’t necessarily go away and that’s also sending me into a spiral. i kept googling the same topic as mine or taboo/worse topics people have had feelings of arousal over and it just made me feel worse as a lot of people were shamed for it. also i’m sorry i was very vague on the actual topic, but i feel too embarrassed and uncomfortable to say it.

This may make somebody uncomfortable. I’m just gonna be completely honest since I’ve been keeping it to myself for SO long and it’s starting to eat me alive. I’m so scared of having a fart fetish. This theme is so disgusting to me which is why it’s so hard to talk about. It terrifies me. I personally don’t like the smell of them. And as a compulsion, whenever someone farts around me, I have to check myself to see if I enjoy the fart. I would smell it just to see if my intrusive thoughts are true. Whenever I get a groinal response it freaks me out so much. What makes this even more complicated is the fact that I’ve watched scat porn back when I had a porn addiction. My porn addiction was escalating, which is why I watched that sort of porn. I know that I would never engage in anything that has to do with urine or feces in real life because it disgusts me. Why is that I know for a fact that I’m NOT attracted to urine or feces, but dont know if im attracted to farting or not. I feel so sick writing this. I also have some childhood experiences relating to farting which stresses me out even more, and fetishes always start out in childhood. And today I stressed myself out even more by reading Reddit stories of people who have this fetish and their stories made me feel gross. I definitely don’t mean to kink shame but I don’t want to be that kind of person. I don’t want to have any of these kinks. I no longer watch porn, thanks to God. But I also wonder that if I had not been exposed to scat porn or porn in general, would I be fantasizing about people farting on me..?? Like I know I don’t like farting because I always get angry whenever people fart around me. But for some reason I don’t hate the smell of my own farts. I just don’t know what to do. And im scared that if I were to ever do anything fart related in a sexual context (which I don’t plan on doing) that I would enjoy it. It’s honestly my biggest fear and my brain keeps telling me that the only reason that I don’t plan on doing it is because im scared to enjoy it. I really wish I could get therapy in the moment but I can’t. This theme has been DESTROYING my life. And I keep having false or real?? Memories of me getting turned on by a family members fart which absolutely disgusts me because that’s literally incest. I have been losing my mind for the last two months. Any replies or anyone that I can talk to about this privately would be greatly appreciated. I just can’t keep suffering in silence anymore. I’m so mentally tired. I’m exhausted.

Hi friends, Everytime my period comes around my ocd tends to get worse. Just curious if anyone else deals with this and if you have any tools/tips on how to deal?

i’m starting ERP on tuesday. These thoughts are truly scaring me into thinking i’m going to do something and i don’t want too. it makes me feel like im going crazy and i have no control. i can’t stop panicking im scared im not going to get better even tho every time i have my spiral i do, i just feel this way in the moment. is there any tips from people who have SOCD that can help me. I feel like i have had to isolate myself from any object that i feel my thoughts would tell me something to do with it. I’m also started having more depression from this too. What medications have helped with OCD for yall??

hello! so I just recently started having really bad intrusive thoughts, specifically harming myself and others, and it started after i broke up with my ex boyfriend. never once has it occurred to me that i may have OCD but now experiencing what i do now and looking back at my past, it kind of makes sense. I have never been diagnosed with OCD but i do struggle with anxiety. I’ve been questioning myself and asking myself if i am a bad person, when I know I am not, I mean i can’t even hurt a fly! i don’t understand where this is coming from or what to do to help myself because i just feel like isolating from everyone so i don’t have the intrusive thoughts or thinking about hurting someone. i feel alone and not like myself. i also have bad fomo so these thoughts aren’t helping😭