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applied for therapy but they don’t take my insurance lol!!! not quite sure what to do anymore, does anyone know anything that i can do to cope or self erp while im waiting to find another therapist?

It feels like my boyfriend is ‘another compulsion” because he makes me happy and that is what ocd does, but when he is gone, my mind can go everywhere. Mostly thinking im not attracted to men (im bi and for some reason i feel like i have to choose 1 gender, and that that would be women) even though i know that i dont have to choose and can just be happy with my bf. But then my mind can go “but are you happy” or “youre not aroused right now or aroused enough so your gay or you dont like bf” Thats really hard, because my one of my biggest fears is being with a man all my life (having a family etc) and then falling in love with a woman and throw it all away. I really really love my boyfriend, but it can feel like this is not my real identity and im doing the wrong thing. Like when im not thinking about it, if thats maybe my ocd and not the overthinking. Does anyone understand?

To peoples who are struggling with ocd and wants to know if ERP will actually work or not read this: It's been a year I'm struggling with OCD, in 2023 I didn't realize that I was being a victim of OCD, I thought it was normal to worry about the thoughts I was having, actually the thoughts are not even about me, I'm having thoughts about singer's sexuality since years I know it may sound silly but I have been since a year these thoughts are real to worry about, in January my ocd became stronger, I strat having episodes of ocd every week, in may I got to know that I have ocd and from the moment I got to know that I have ocd I didn't have a single day struggling without ocd, in April I started doing ERP it's been 5 months I doing ERP but I'm not still recovered fully but yeah I don't have episodes anymore, I don't worry about the single thoughts for days but still my every thought is controlled by ocd , I still have anxiety which is out of control, I still feel like these thoughts will never go away but I choose to live the way I want without caring about these thoughts.....I know no one's free to care about my mental health but if anyone's reading this please encourage me😔🙏

I feel and I think differently to others. Broad and vast. Even in a crowd I can feel alone. I long for others to understand me, but if that meant them suffering a fraction of what I do, I'll burden this anguish alone in silence, with a smile wider than my heart can bear. My scars runs deep and my love deeper still. I will hold the line between my hell and the angels around me. Its not what I owe them, its what I don't.

I asked 8ball it said I'm going to hell and I'm not a good person

Hey guys does anyone literally have a panic attack whenever you have to be in a situation (romantically) with a man?? Like I will literally freak the fuck out and throw up I mean that so seriously lol. I think it started after my abusive ex boyfriend.

I’m so frustrated. I’m an atheist through and through, I believe in science all the way but I am still traumatized by the horrible things my mom showed me from the Bible as child. I’m frustrated because my mom died and now that I live alone I’m just always scared of the creaks and crackles that my home makes as the seasons change. It aggravates me because I’ll ruminate over and over that “it’s not a demon/ghost it’s just the wood furniture expanding/contracting” this that and everything in between to explain things and I’m simply tired of it. When I was putting down my self adhesive floor stickers to make me feel happy about my apartment I was stuck thinking about the demons my mom showed me in the Bible and had no choice but to continue what I was doing. The area I was working on when thinking these things, it’s either settling peeling, something, either way there is sound coming from that spot and it’s stressing me out. I can’t enjoy anything because I’m both annoyed at the topic and slightly scared because even as an atheist I’m a human being and we fear what we don’t understand. Is there anything people with spiritual ocd do to ease their nerves from the athiest perspective?

Anybody else's OCD grow more intense at night?

If you can relate, I would appreciate your comments. Lately I've been feeling rather awkward and out of place. It's not uncommon for me, honestly. You know those situations where you feel like you really don't fit in anywhere? Well, I'm just feeling like despite my efforts to engage with others, I never fully get the satisfaction of genuine belonging. If I try to talk to people or form social circles, even just for the purpose of creating a study group, no one really seems interested. I've been a loner pretty much my entire life, so you'd think at this point I'd be used to it. However, sadly I still get that feeling in the pit of my stomach that everyone is judging or scrutinizing me, as though I am this foreign creature. Having OCD doesn't help. It can just feel like a very lonely place sometimes.

do you ever feel paralyzed or scared to just get out of bed because what if the thoughts get worse because you're interrupting your mind being distracted i dread having to get up to even use the bathroom. being with my boyfriend helps but then it just gets bad again even while im with him. I just can't function im starting a new job soon too and I'm in online college. I can't bring myself to do any of it. the guilt, shame, anxiety, and fears just take over.

My ocd convinces me that no one else has the ocd thoughts I have. I am newly PP and had an intrusive thought about my baby that sent me into the worst panic attack imaginable. I went to OBGYN and she said “but you aren’t having thoughts about harming yourself or the baby right?” I had to lie. I obviously didn’t want the thought, it’s my biggest fear. But how can we be honest with our doctors without being locked away. I had visions of them taking my child from me or me being locked away and now I’m just spiraling. I went down the rabbit hole for sure. How do we know what intrusive thoughts we can tell our doctor/therapist??? If I can’t share what’s going on in my head, then how am I supposed to know that I am not alone 😭. I want to find a therapist on here to work with but my ocd convinces me that no one else has struggled with what I have for some reason or that my ocd is “different” and I’ll be reported. This is miserable. Can anyone else relate? It’s like it convinces you that you are the “worst case” & what If it’s not even ocd. This has kept me from getting the therapy I know I need. Hope someone can give me some insight…

Every therapist I had so far told me I HAVE to do exposure therapy, when I refused one even ended the treatment. My current therapist is an absolute angel, but when it comes to compulsions all she ever says is that I should try to stop. Everytime I do my therapy “homework” and try to resist urges I get extremely overwhelmed and end up feeling worse about the situation etc. and avoiding it even more. I told her that and now she wants me to actively engage in such situations IN therapy, which I’m absolutely dreading but I’m not sure how to communicate that I’m positive this won’t help me.

Can you heal from pure ocd symptoms (didn't took any diagnose so just symptoms) by yourself without the help of therapist? I know it sounds stupid but there's no way I'll ask my parents for therapy.

So i use to get a lot of relationship OCD. I recently got into a relationship two months ago. i have been experiencing some relationship OCD thoughts like “do i like my partner enough” and to complete the compulsion of telling them that i am having this thought. I use to be able to conquer them but after bringing it up in therapy it got worse. does anyone have any recommendations on how to conquer this compulsion and thought? I don’t want to scare my partner away.

I don't feel like my real event ocd is actually normal. people don't just make mistakes or do stuff like that as a child. and I feel guilty and shameful because it's awful. how is that ocd and not just terrible and criminal. and the fact that I can't remember if I actually did something just as bad or something similar when I got older is insane. like why would I have done it again if I'm not a bad person? it feels like i might actually remember it and there's no way of knowing. it's gross and disgusting and criminal!!! how would I ever tell a therapist about those actions and expect them to not be weired out, concerned, and inclined to tell me same things that I'm thinking which is that I shouldn't be alive or I belong locked up for what I did. having ocd doesn't excuse my past mistakes, child or not. especially when I'm unsure if something happened again when I was an older teen and would have known better. and how do I live on and the people in my life don't know these mistakes. they wouldn't want to know me if they knew what I did so am I lying to them by omitting the awful things about myself??

I feel so defeated but I gave into my compulsion because I was having really bad silent panic attacks at work. And I decided to tell my boss the truth. He seemed very very chill about it and wasn’t upset but I’m still like ….. disappointed and concerned that I’m doing this the 3 week of my new job. I can’t be doing this. I need this job forreal. Has anyone else had the same experience?

I don't expect anyone to give my a full article of answers, but does anyone else experience more intensity of their OCD/intrusive thoughts during road trips/vacations?? I remember even long before being diagnosed I would be obviously excited for a vacation but at the same time so nervous for the vacations because i knew that my intrusive thoughts got so much worse and felt more "real" i guess in a sense during them. It's the weirdest thing. Maybe it's the long drives or just the stress of being in an unfamiliar place?? Appreciate y'all. Have a good one.

I was wondering if this is a thing. Like, say, especially if you are in the process of getting better. Doesn't doing ERP every day keep reminding you of your obsessions? Is there a point where you should do it less often? Or how does this work?

So I know I’ve asked this question before but it’s like finding the final answer to this question is an obsession in itself ….so I get fixated on stuff like this week it’s video game addiction topics I will research about video game addiction stories until I tire myself out about them and last week it was getting a new gaming system and researching questions/topics about it until I’ve researched so much that I’m not even excited about said item anymore then it can go into ocd reassurance seeking so I get obsessed about researching ANY topic and it’s like when I get my fix im done with it and the next week it will be something new like why are we addicted to soda and it’s just a cycle … does anyone else deal with this? Is it part of my ocd or is it just me as a person please help

I know that Jesus died and paid the price for my sins and that they are pardoned. But do I really? Some part of me finds it hard to believe, as badly as I want to. I struggle with drug addiction, so each day as I use I think to myself how could God possibly forgive me when I’m sinning so willingly? How could he grant me access to heaven when I do what I do? I think of it like an apology (on my part) means nothing without changed behavior. So why should he forgive me if I won’t change? Can anyone explain that?