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One of the hardest parts of my day is seeing all the people around me doing all the things I can’t with ease. I hope they know how lucky they are.

I’ve been feeling really really depressed the past few days due to health concerns. I’ve been really feeling down like not wanting to be here anymore and it’s scaring me. I was in the doctor’s office this morning and I got a scary thought that said maybe I should just k*ll someone in here instead of k*lling myself. Then the thoughts continued… this man walked past and I thought “hurt him” I obviously wouldn’t want to hurt anyone let alone a bug on the sidewalk, but the thoughts began to overtake me and I had a panic attack. It’s still bothering me and I’m still scared it’s real and that I’m going crazy. This happens to me a lot after I watch a documentary about someone who hurt someone else. I begin to think I am somehow going to go crazy like the person in the documentary and hurt someone. Although I don’t want to .. I would never ever want to hurt anyone.

Its been like 3 weeks of school and its just been really difficult and stressful 😭 ive had two tests and i havent gotten them back yet but i have a feeling i didnt do as well as i wanted to on either of them and that scares me because i usually score perfectly and well. And my classmates are so good at everything 😭 and ik this is kinda bad but i hate seeing people do better in things im supposed to be good at… like math is one of my strongest subjects but i messed up on a few questions so bad and i feel so stupid and now im scared that im gonna be like this for the rest of the semester 😞 it scares me. Plus all my classmates talk to me sometimes and all and i be as nice as possible but i still feel invisible- even with friends i just feel like im bothering them and i feel like im just alone and have no one to talk to bc either no one cares or i feel like burden and annoying and unlovable 💀

I feel like I'm fucking crazy. It literally feels like my ocd has a plan to hurt people like overtime my mind has made a plan and I was already questioning myself because I'm doing erp. I don't want to hurt people but my mind literally feels like its fully ready to do something. I can't do this.

Hello I'm just posting to see if anyone needs to talk about your day or what's bothering you! Feel free to comment

Someone had told me that my religious ocd/harm ocd intrusive thoughts, could be caused by paranoia or schizophrenia, and now I can’t stop thinking that I’m losing my mind and that I’m crazy… my religious ocd sometimes says “God wants you to harm someone.” Or “God is the almighty and can control you and make you do these terrible things” even though I know deep down that’s completely absurd.. it even says it in the 10 commandments.. I’m so lost.. I hope I’m not actually crazy.. I don’t want to hurt anyone..

For anyone struggling with religious OCD/ scurpulosity?

Hi all, I’m curious is anyone taking medicine for their OCD and if so which one and is it helping? I’ve been on Prozac for almost 7 weeks and I just don’t think it’s doing much. I’m only on 30mg so perhaps I need to get to 40.

I was looking into stuff for my friend who apparently has no internal monologue or capability to imagine images which is amazing but I can't imagine a life with that. I knew someone years that also couldn't imagine images a few years back and asked her what would happen if they took psychedelics. It turns out they've been using something called psilocybin to tackle a range of disorders like the ones mentioned above, ptsd and ocd with some positive results. I feel as if it might untangle some stuff in our minds in order to see more clearly. The hallucinations of the psychedelics may purely be our brain reorganising itself. Thought it was interesting

So I am trying to get help and I have to fill out this Obsessive compulsive inventory and it’s stressing me out so bad - a bulk of the questions are things like washing your hands etc and counting and nothing is specific in any way to the sub type of OCD that I might have it’s causing me to spiral and think that I don’t have OCD. I am so stressed right now. I have a follow up phone call tomorrow and I’m terrified they will say it’s not OCD. I just tested my results and looked online and it says that I don’t have OCD - for example it says you have to have a score above 41 or a mean score of 2.5 on one of the sections which I don’t.

I’m so tired practicing ERP like I’m so mentally exhausted and also feel a little unmotivated. I don’t want to feel anxious it’s freaking me out now but I have to do it to stay vulnerable. How do I do stay motivated and strong-willed?

Hi. I’m writing this post because I don’t know if I should be medicated again. Lexapro worked well for me, but I gained like 30 pounds. I quit because of that and honestly I thought I was able to manage my OCD well better. I was wrong, it got worse again. I wish I can do this without medication…that’s why I expose myself everyday, doesn’t matter how drained and exhausted I get. Are you guys medicated or trying to go without medicine. How is it going for you guys? Many hugs for all of you. We got this.

Do you ever have a situation in front of you and you genuinely don’t know the best way to get through it? Like a difficult situation but the question is do you grind it out or use self compassion and give yourself breaks? There are so many different philosophies to follow, even if they’re not formal philosophies. For example, I have watched a lot of David Goggins and Jocko Willink on YouTube. Both of them have very extreme philosophies of discipline and how to handle hardship. Both of their philosophies have helped me during times of hardships in my life. But other philosophies have also helped me at other times of hardships in my life, philosophies that have more to do with self kindness and self compassion. So sometimes it seems like there’s so many approaches to how to live life that it’s paralyzing. Were any of y’all able to overcome the seemingly endless amount of choices towards mindsets to approach life with? How were y’all able to overcome this?

Does anyone have any tips on how to move on from intrusive thoughts when you’re constantly afraid that if you ignore them God will be mad at you?

I noticed myself not understanding why things are wrong like I be having thoughts like "why would cheating be bad" and I just actually find it hard to find a reason? The only things I know are bad are like being mean and doing crimes but like damn

I was going through my old account (I had when I was 12-13) I noticed I was following this little kid that was like trying to flex, and my brain keeps saying weird things, I feel so uncomfortable rn, I keep yelling at it to shut up, pls help guys

It’s another sleepless night accompanied by my most painful obsession: what happens after we die? It’s not so much a mental debate, rather than a panic provoked by what I believe to be absolute. I’ve struggled with religion, and I still do. I was raised Christian, but didn’t find much belief in God after my father passed before my teenage years. I’ve considered myself agnostic with an open mind to religion, but for as long as I can remember, the most logical afterlife scenario to me is nothing. Just. Nothing. Pitch black, no consciousness, nothing, just as it was before you were born. And this TERRIFIES me. I don’t want life to end! Sure I’ve had my struggles in life, certainly had moments where I’ve wish I didn’t have to live, but the idea that one day I’ll never experience life again makes all the bs worth it. I’d rather live a life of constant tragedy and struggle than to simply cease existing. I’ve had this obsession since I was in elementary school, before I even knew what religion and death truly were. Before I ever experienced death in my family, I’d be crying and panicking to my mother in the middle of the night about how I’m terrified to die. It went away for a couple years, but the last couple months it’s been resurfacing out of nowhere. Whenever I have a calm and quiet moment, this thought pops in my head. Like a little devil whispering reminders with the sole intention of causing panic. I try so hard to think of something, anything different. But no matter what, the dread of death persists and it’s all I can think about until I’m hyperventilating repeating “no no no” to myself, desperately trying to calm down and fall asleep. I’m so tired of this torture. How do I stop this obsession? How do I come to terms with my inevitable fate? I’ve tried finding solace in religion but I can’t force myself to believe in something I don’t just to find comfort in death. I want there to be something more after death, but how do I believe it to be true? I want to believe in an afterlife, whether heaven or hell or reincarnation. I don’t care. I just want to live life without this fear of what comes next.

This is extremely hard for me to say I have danced around it in previous posts but I simply cant hold it in anymore. The guilt that I feel for thinking these thoughts is immesurable and is driving me to want to hurt myself. I'm gonna start from the very beginning it all started when I was put on Fluvoxamine back then I had the bad habit of looking every medication that I was on up and with that I found out that a student with another student had brought a weapon to school and hurt many people with it. (I can't even write the word but I'm sure you know what the thing was) The intrusive thoughts didn't start then for some reason but later when at my school we had a threat of someone who was wanting to do the same thing. But then one morning I got the thought of what if I do that. And then it got worse I would get the thought every day. And then summer came by and I thought I would be fine but it came back when I went to school again this year it got so bad that I had to drop out of school. But for some reason I am still getting the intrusive thoughts and they are even more horrible now with images of me doing it, I get horrible urges, and my mind tells me that I want to do something this terrible. I want people to understand when I say this I don't want to do anything to hurt anyone and never have. I have 0 history of violence to anyone and have been in several situations like that where there was a threat and have felt the fear that comes along with that. I don't understand why these thoughts are there. I feel like I need to put myself into a mental hospital. I never want to hurt anyone and never will.

I can't do this anymore I feel fucking insane my mind keeps telling me I want to k word people and if feels like my mind is making fucking plans. I'm diagnosed with ocd but I don't even know if it's ocd what if I'm just a terrible fucking person that actually wants to do this. My mind is literally telling me to go buy a weapon and hurt people like I get fucking urges. I can't keep food down and have not for the last few days I feel like I need to go to a mental hospital but I don't want to burden anyone in my family. Like my mind tells me specifically I want to do this but I don't want to but recently ive been having the thought of what if I did do it but I don't want to. I just want it to stop I'm a good person I don't want to hurt anyone at all. But what if one day I actually do want to do something. I can't do this anymore.

I find that politics triggers my OCD, with how much every side tells you that you are responsible for every bad thing that happens if the other side wins.