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Im looking at youtube videos, I see a little girl that is pretty. So ofcourse my ocd attacks me and I say she's hot to myself even though I don't think that. I start getting anxiety and feel depressed. Why?

I feel like there has to be someone out there that relates in someway that the past few months since my OCD got extremely bad again. I had it when I was 17 but it didn’t last long it completely faded and I totally forgot about it even happening. But it started up again back in March and I noticed that I’ve been kind of creating these thoughts to see reactions and similarities to people that are actually the p word. It’s like I’m constantly trying to prove myself wrong. Feel like I’m constantly trying to prove myself that I’m just a p in denial. I feel like no matter how many times I try to sit with uncertainty or try to reassure myself. This is not who I am. A part of me truly believes that that is just who I am and I have been lying to myself and others, and it makes me extremely, depressed and frustrated. hoping someone else can understand where I’m coming from in someway. I just find myself constantly convincing myself that I’m just a p in denial and I even come up with reasons why in my head can OCD make you truly believe something? Making you feel like you just have completely changed.

Hi! I’m new to NOCD and seeking the right therapist. Wondering if anyone has experience with a therapist in NYC that can be recommended?

Just finished crying after an erp session. This is so hard. I just can’t stop crying 😣! But I will get through it and so can you with anything else

Hi everyone. So recently I have been feeling so scared and paranoid of going crazy. I am terrified of i will go crazy and turn schizo. I’m so hyper aware of everything. My mind convinces me that I will end up like this but I really don’t want to.It’s my biggest fear and I think abt it almost everyday and I can’t handle it anymore. I just want to be ok. I have told my parents this and they say it’s all in my head and just laugh at me. I know it’s in my head but I physically feel sick to my stomach being constantly scared. Please someone help me please please. Thank you.

Does anyone know how to deal with guilt for something you did as a kid that you feel is disgusting and worry that it could have hurt someone you loved.

okay so I basically texted my therapist and she's left me on read and I don't see her until thursday so I need opinions/help. i started talking to someone and I been thinking about how im best friends with someone I had a crush on like a little crush nothing major and I feel so guilty because what if he finds out and he's heart broken I don't want to be with my best friend like that but what if i do? it's really making me go crazy and I don't know what to do. if ur not understanding what im saying by now basically I feel guilty that I'm talking to someone and then still being friends with someone who I kinda had a crush on a long time ago. and this situation is bothering me even more because here and then I would have thoughts abt things abt my best friend and i hear the thoughts but I don't think I really pay attention to them they're just there but recently they've really been in my head and I've been paying attention to them and they're thoughts I don't want to have but what if I actually do want to have the thoughts. I'm gonna be honest I don't even know if it was a crush or if I just wanted to be closer friends with her cause I was jealous of her being close friends with someone else. this crush took place in like middle school to like 9th grade?? just help i don't want to be with her

does anyone else has adrenaline rushes when triggered?

It literally feels like I’m going insane and that all my worst OCD fears are going to come true. It feels like I’m losing control and that I will do something bad. This is so terrifying. It’s never been this scary. It makes me feel like there’s no way this is OCD. Idk what to do. I’m trying to power through but even writing this makes me feel like I am faking it. Omg. Please someone help me!

How do I know I’m not suicidal? Like high key freaking out?!! I’m so scared of myself and I completely let the emotion take over. My therapist said u can’t just become suicidal but how do I know I’m not? How do I know I won’t be?

After i hang out with a male friend.. i feel like i think about them too much or check for them after our interaction. We were really close when i wasnt involved with someone and ppl joked about us being together.. but now im with someone i love and am trying to figure things out with and… i feel like i cant hang out with said male friend anymore because of how excited i get to hang out with them. We are really similar have ocd, both Muslim.. dont have alot of friends that align with that.. am i making excuses to hang with them? Idk

Can anyone relate to this? The idea of being human is so… overwhelming. I want things to be perfect and for them to be perfect and good it feels like I have to be something other than a person. Sometimes I feel like a trapped, confused child trying and failing to integrate into a world that at some point was shown to me as something threatening and demoralizing. I feel so easily disturbed, so easily violated emotionally, and it disturbs me. I’m not sure what to do about it.

I have harm OCD ,my dogs died,my OCD try to use what happened,to convince me or making me afraid,that I could do something bad that put me in jail or hospital

It hurts I hurt a lot of people and the guilt is killing me like actually eating me alive and I can’t even get help my parents are kinda abusive and don’t want me going to therapy cause their afraid they or I will go to jail but I idk if I can go on When I started highschool at 14(currently 15 rn) I had a weird mentality that everything was sexual and that I could date anyone by just telling them I liked them and being honestly creepy. Idk what’s wrong with me I feel so weird like I don’t have crushes it’s just me wanting to have sx with people I find attractive and it’s so horrible. But before I realized how bad this was I hurt people I had 4 friends they all don’t talk to me anymore because I was so sexual with everything I made sexual jokes made everything sexual and just sexualized myself at every turn even when they told me to stop I wouldn’t listen. It’s sick. When I realized this was wrong it was too late. One of them stopped talking to me and doesn’t even want to look at me or wants me saying his name.and one of them says they don’t care but idk I think they do.and I was honestly in a horrible mental state and tried a few times and my other friend had enough of it and just stopped talking to me. I have a best friend who I met online she was so nice to me we used to date but we broke up. And we get close but I betrayed her trust when I sent her explicit butt pics to this 17yr old I wanted pics from and he said he wouldn’t mind me sending them (my best friend was 15) and I was begging this 17yr old for pictures when he declined a lot then the 17 yr old said he was manipulating me and how he was keeping me in a loop of mystery. My best friend found out about the picture thing and she was sick but forgave me cause she didn’t want me self harming IMFEEL sick because of that she put my feelings above hers when I was in the wrong and she said she doesn’t want to lose me as a friend but idk she said she forgives me cauee she knows I’m broken ig but that makes me feel worse. And I also begged this 16 yr old for pics when I was either 13/14 and I feel sick I begged for pics when he declined but my best friend says not to feel bad cause he was grooming her kinda but idk I wanan apologize to him. Lately I’ve been thinking of how I think I s@d someone from my school someone I one or my baby cousins or my little brother and it feels real like it happened and I feel like a pedo and a s*x offender and Ik no one can forgive me idk if I want to go on it feels like death is the only way to atone for what I did . When I told my 4th friend about why my other friends don’t talk to me anymore he didn’t respond I think that cemented how bad I really am how sick I am I’m no different than a child pred or sx offender. My parents don’t even like me they always remind me how I treat them bad or how I’m a bad person. I feel horrible. Maybe I should just be locked up

OCD is unfortunately a huge part of how we go about our lives. For me, my mood is very obvious and fluctuates throughout the day and my loved ones pick up on that and in turn give me space or feel like they have to walk on eggshells around me which can hurt and make me feel isolated. The thing is i feel like it’s probably best to be alone because i can get cranky and moody which makes me feel bad, but i also don’t want to self isolate as a compulsion. How can I have meaningful connections when im in moods? Id love any tips or advice on what y’all do when faced with this. I want to have connections and talk about things that aren’t surrounding my mood due to ocd. It’s hard because I see how my ocd impacts my partner that I live with, and how he struggles to approach me when I’m feeling down, which the perpetuates the anxiety because my main theme is rocd. Does anyone have any advice?

Started anafranil last week. Anxiety is better but thoughts are still 24/7. My harm ocd thoughts are strictly about my son who I live more than anything and I cry everything I think of a good thought with him. I feel shame and guilt over these thoughts. I keep doubting I have ocd and I'm just schizophrenic which scares me to no end. Any other parents going through this theme? Seeking reassurance but idc if it's a compulsion anymore

Hi, do someone know how to “let go” of intrusive thought? The intrusive thought feel so real that I’m terrified that I’m actually going to act on the thought and I’m so scared. This is so weird because sometimes when I have the thought im anxious and sometimes im not. But even if I’m not anxious im still terrified that I’m going to act on the thought someday. I’m having a lot of different thoughts 24/7 and I feel like I can’t live like this anymore. All my day it’s doing compulsion (physically and mentally) and im thinking about the thought all day and I feel like my head is spinning from all the thought , I don’t know what to do anymore. I started erp yesterday but I still feel strong urge to do compulsions. Can meds help with this? Like can it help being less obsessed over the thought? Cause I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like my life is ruined and I will never recover from this.

Happy Tuesday friends. Question for you all: I have recently started ERP therapy (about one month ago) and I feel in a way it has helped. But I also notice that I feel the thoughts I do have are SO intense that I feel like I’m gonna explode and then I’ll cry and get upset but then feel better after having a “freak out”. Does this happen to any of you guys? Also, I told my therapist yesterday some of the exposures we had been doing made me uncomfortable. Like really really uncomfortable. She made me feel a little bad about not doing it and stated this would prolong my progress if I didn’t do it. I’m not sure if I should push my self to do this exposure because she told me to or to stick up for myself and move at my own pace. Thanks everyone.

Since i started explaining to my medical providers about my OCD, I have had 2 thank me for bringing it up because they feel like it helps them treat me better.

So yesterday i started saying to myself that i love myself and it helped coping with negative emotions. I could face panic and many negative emotion. Then i started experiencing the thoughts of this is just avoidance, i really struggle with these obsessive thoughts that i wont recover cause im avoiding my problems and its a huge fear to me. Then suddenly loving myself didnt worked, i tried to be kind to myself but i got more panicky, i get sad, and it didnt helped me cope, it actually became worse. So now im again depressed about me not being able to recover. I still think that sitting with the feelings and be with it means you stare at it with full focus and entertain it cause if you give attention to that you will entertain it automatically. I always try to just acknowledge it and move forward, sometimes i see something helpful that i can think about but many times are just unhelpful fears that if i give attention to it they take over the control and im just lost. So i neee help cause im afraid of depression, why suddenly loving myself doesnt helps? Like being kind and accept myself? Why it makes the feelings worse and im afraid more? Is this a normal reaction?