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I want to love God with my heart, but I’m consumed by the fears of OCD. I’m so scared. I believe in Jesus, but my intrusive thoughts say I don’t.

Hey everyone ... I'd love some opinions on something. Recently I got to see a band I really love and meet them. It was really great, the concert was amazing and I had a good view, and the band was really sweet to me. I wanted to get a tattoo of the bands logo and the date I saw/met them for my birthday which is in a couple weeks. But while I was looking then up I saw that they had a controversy. And that 10+ years ago one of the members wrote a pretty racist parody song or something for another band he was in. I actually met this member and he was sooo nice, he even offered to hug me. So I don't know what to think, and I don't want to excuse it just because he was nice or just assumed he changed or whatever. But I might also be blowing it out of proportion ... ? Should I just avoid getting the tattoo or is this just moral ocd ?? I'm scared I'll regret it or people will think im racist for having it. Or that the band might do something controversial in the future and I won't be able to remove it. Idk what to do.

I don’t exactly know what this post will achieve, but I personally am getting tired of the lack of progress in new pharmacological treatments for OCD. As it is, the medications prescribed for OCD were all developed and intended for other conditions. SSRIs are still the primary medications used, and they’re really meant to treat depression and anxiety. They aren’t even always effective at doing that. Clomipramine is an antidepressant marketed for OCD, but it was partially labeled that way because there were already enough drugs available for depression at the time. Not to mention all its side effects. Anti-anxiety medications like benzodiazepines are addictive and only treat the anxiety in OCD, not the underlying obsessions, compulsive drives, and intrusive thoughts that really lead to the anxiety. There may be no perfect drug that can directly reduce obsessions, compulsions or intrusive thoughts. That would be a complicated process for one medication to handle. But it doesn’t seem like much focus has ever been placed on ameliorating OCD. And since it affects 1 to 2% of the world’s population, there’s clearly a demand for better treatment. So if not a medication, then other things need to be explored. TMS should already be FDA approved for OCD, so people can actually afford it. ERXP therapy also needs to be regulated better so it isn’t ridiculously expensive. Again, I’m not really sure what I hope to achieve here, but like we need to advocate as a community for our treatment. I don’t know if that means talking to individual doctors or trying to somehow reach out to universities or research facilities, but this is not satisfactory. And it doesn’t seem like much is going to change unless we advocate for ourselves. So like, please help me advocate in whatever way you feel you can.

something that really bugs me and gets in my head with my rocd is that for most of my relationship i’ve had this nagging anxiety and ocd about it. i can accept my thoughts for the most part, but have this underlying fear that this one could really mean something and that makes me feel guilty! i don’t want to loose her but my mind tells me i do because ive had these thoughts. it’s even coming up in my dreams now! i had a dream last night that i cheated and it made me panic all today and feel so bad and this thought came up again! any advice?

Whenever I’m in a room and someone leaves and I’m alone, even with my usual safety behaviors I have really strong imaginations and then close my eyes to try to stop them and then feels like thoughts are super real or its happening and pray to reverse it or say no I don’t want that to happen but then worried that the intrusive prayer will happen and like that I didn’t pray the “no I don’t want that to happen” last or like that if something happens that’s good or that I wanted after that it’s just because of the imagination of the bad thing happened. And will have really real imaginations in my head too so it makes it even more realistic and even though I can go back and check the safety behavior (filming) I feel like the video just didn’t get the thing happening or was cut out or that I wasn’t actually filming at that time. And it happens when I’m in a room alone and I know that it’s worse when I engage with the thoughts and that makes it then feel even more like it happened but because it happens when people leave the room I can label it as ocd. But because I was lying down and praying I’m worried it will or did happen then, even though I used to use this as safety behavior and it didn’t and isn’t now it works.

I'm genuinely terrified of what's going on in my brain right now and I don't think it will pass because I think I gave into my compulsions and I'm scared I'll do it again I don't know what to do...I would never intentionally do this but I'm having really bad anxiety over this I can't sleep because I feel like I'm gonna do somethings what if this is who I am now.....I hate this.

So I’ve had this app for about a year now and barely used it. But now I’ve decided to step up and get this out of my system. I’ve been struggling with OCD thoughts about fire and volcanoes and the things that are associated with them such as burns, heat, magma, lava, and pyroclastic flows. I’m not sure if anyone else has these irrational thoughts too but I should run through them. I often feared about things like fire and volcanoes since I’ve just randomly thought of how insanely destructive they are. I keep thinking about if fire is able to travel onto my hands into other things without me knowing it especially if I’m around it while cooking on a stove or walking by (close to) a BBQ fire. I always seem to wash my hands with cold water so that I relieve myself from thinking that I “touched” it and touching other things thinking that they will burn. It’s gotten bad to the point where I would end up doing nothing all day because I would keep thinking about those things and their possibilities. Like if lava could emerge from anywhere or if a fire could appear randomly if I touch something. Because of these thoughts, I ended up giving up on some things that I used to do like playing video games and avoiding certain videos and movies that have anything to do with fire and volcanoes. In terms of movies I try to not think of any such as the movie literally called Volcano from ‘97 and also Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom in which the island is destroyed by an active volcano (why are dinosaurs associated with volcanoes??!!) Games like Minecraft have the lava bucket, in which if you’re playing on a tablet or phone, you would have to touch the screen to place something down. So after seeing something like this (like on a thumbnail for a YouTube algorithm) I would go to the bathroom and wash my hands and even wash my eyes with cold water. So overall, I’ve been very stressed out thinking about these things, but I have been doing some meditation and talk therapy but yeah it’s been getting out of control to the point where I start spiraling about it. Apologies if I sound confusing saying all of this I was just venting out these irrational fears that kept lingering.

Can anyone give me any advise? I have been in therapy for a couple months and been taking medication and doing everything I can to get better. Today I literally am back to square one having harm intrusive thoughts that I want to hurt people and that I want to know what it’s like and everything. I’m trying SO HARD not to ruminate and just letting the thought be there. I hear therapists say “go by your values” I feel like idk what my values are anymore. I know what I want them to be but idk because I don’t know anything.

OCD is causing so much stress in my life My ocd has a fear of losing objects everytime I lose something it's the end of my world and I have to go to a certain trash can to "repent" it as my ocd would like to call it I'm going aboard soon for university and I'm worried if I lose something aboard and I'm not able to access the location and my brain will stop working destroying my future I need to preform erp for this but when I try to do erp it fails as my brain doesn't stop nagging until it gets as it pleases My brain is wired so strongly and is so used to certain habits making ocd recovery and erp almost not possible And without meds is erp treatment really realistic anymore? Any advice if someone is going through something similar

I have a feeling that its hard to describe, I dont know what it is, i just know i felt it before and it really feels bad. Its like a mixture of frustration, desperation, anger and sadness. I got it cause im tired of acknowledging the emotions i have and accepting them and feeling them, its like a full time job. It takes away my attention from the present moment. It makes me depressed cause i cant enjoy the moment. I think this might be my ocd theme, i never thought about it but i have a huge problem with what to do with emotions and i keep swinging to both ends of ignoring emotions and dwelling in them/giving too much focus on them. And because i have a problem of constantly being inward and checking my emotions, i thought maybe acceptance and allowance now isnt for me, i need to learn how to stop focusing on feelings and just love my life, but it doesnt work for me, i keep rumminating about how to stop giving attention to the emotions, what are the emotions i should give attention, which emotions i should think about what is the reason i feel it, how to stop judging, how to react to automatic judgement and its just alot... and now i just try to accept my emotions but it made me become frustrated and i have this scary feeling that i cant describe...

i peed and now my contamination ocd's acting up, when i pee there's a little bit that splashes on my hand and ofc i washed my hands immediately and now im laying in bed and it feels like my pajama's wet on the knee part and wth i dont like it, its not wet tho but it feels like its wet i cannot

(TRIGGER WARNING FOR 21+ PLEASE) My mind has been my worst enemy lately. I can’t seem to move on with my life because of it. I keep thinking back about mistakes that I’ve made in the past and comparing them to people that have been called out or “cancelled” lately and I’ve convinced myself that I’m the worst—that I’m a monster. I’ve talked about it when it happened but essentially, I worked a summer job with a coworker that was underaged—I was 21 and they were 17 at the time. I don’t exactly remember what we talked about—most of it was about music and school but I’m afraid that we might’ve talked about other things that would be deemed as inappropriate. I just can’t remember the details, for the life of me. But I do remember a horrible joke I made at the time where i asked if I could go grab food and he told me that I didn’t need his permission, that I wasn’t his daughter and I jokingly responded with “ok, dad!. It was awful and I deeply regret making it and thinking about it, I want to die. I don’t think I deserve to have a future. I no longer work with that person and want nothing to do with them, but I keep wondering if I had done anything else to make them uncomfortable or how else I could’ve harassed or assaulted them in any way. I’m lowkey spiraling over this and I don’t know what to do with myself.

hi, It's passed a long time that I posted sth about my OCD; I thought my OCD got better and I don't need this community; I strated psycho_analysis but after a year, I feel, It hasn't given the result. I'm so depressed actually I feel disappointment and I'm tired to look for the solution for my OCD; I have thought about suicide many times in the past month; I had OCD in the past but today I have depression and OCD together. I don't know how I got this situation. I feel a pain on my chest🥲 My dreams & future are disapearing... I don't know should I change my terapist?! He's silent every consultation and says I use free assocciation for the treatment but I think It's not efficient I need help🥲

I feel like I have OCD and have for 30 years. I'm always arguing with myself wether I have OCD or not what should I do ?

I’m 29F. Does anyone else have a phobia of mice? If so how do you cope with it and survive knowing that they are in your house? Even if I do not see them every day. I don’t have an infestation luckily. But for over 1.5 years I lived in my house and never saw one myself. My bf would deal with traps and all I ever saw was droppings. It made me anxious but it felt better to have help. Then all of a sudden at beginning of September, I’ve had 3 sightings, in the kitchen, the living room, and the bedroom. Now all those rooms feel unsafe to me. Especially after 7pm when the sightings occurred. I haven’t been able to truly relax in these rooms in the evening or at night in over a month. And I tend to avoid them. This is really getting in the way of how I participate in our household and we have a puppy who spends most of his time in the living room. So I am not helping with him enough in the evening. It’s causing big problems in my relationship and I feel so much guilt and shame. But the intrusive thoughts about the mice are so bad and the fear that I might see one again is consuming me. I’m hyper vigilant and it’s almost like I have ptsd. I can’t live like this anymore.

Hey everyone, I’ve shared a lot on here about my severe harm ocd surrounding my loved ones and especially my most beloved one; my french bulldog. I’ve been in therapy for months and it hasn’t helped, and I’m at the point I’m 100% sure I want to harm her, don’t love her anymore and will never be able to be normal with her again. It feels like I’m holding myself back all day every day from something I actually want to do - if I think about it or get the intrusive thoughts, they feel like my own and like I want them. I get thoughts that I’m scared of her insides and that she has them and my heart pounds/I get nauseous over that often. Which in turn convinced me that I actually do have a reason Even though it never bothered me or even crossed my mind pre diagnosis. I’m getting constant feelings over my own feelings of liking this, being capable of it, or even wanting it and not wanting to get better or have her back. Even though that’s the ONLY thing I ever wanted in my life. She was the most important thing to me - did I really just stop loving her? Has anyone else ever hit this point and gotten better? Or do I give my pup away and give up. I never, EVER thought I would be in a place like this with her. Ever.

So I made a mistake. 3 years ago and it's been haunting me since. I didn't hurt anybody or anything. But I crossed a boundary and I know it was wrong. Basically I am in a long term relationship and I had a crush on this barista. And I definitely went out of my way to talk to him and dressed cute hoping he would notice. I used it as a confidence booster, I liked the attention. And I didn't plan on taking it any further. All together we spoke max 10 minutes together, normal casual talk. I snapped out of it 3 days later and changed my coffee place. And horrible cheating ocd came out of it. But still, I did act on my crush - I went out of my way to talk to him and dressed cute. That I know was wrong and I won't do it again. But the guilt is eating me alive! Any advice? :(( I keep spiraling and asking myself what if, what if

But how do i know if its cheating or my ocd overthinking?! We ran out of condoms pretty quick because i thought we had a 12 pack and he said no it was a 6. In that case it made some sense as I’m pretty sure we used 5 and maybe he lost one, but then today he found another 2 in his car which he forgot were there once we purchased a new box That would make the total 7 not 6 which means he would have bought a 12 pack?! Somethings not adding up- he either is cheating and bought a 12 pack OR i mis calculated What do i do?!

My ex sent me paragraphs and paragraphs the other day because I was being disrespectful, hurtful and immature, when all I did was try to make sure he was okay, stop people from saying rude and hurtful shit and say he didn’t deserve for his new gf to cheat on him even though the pain I felt might be his karma. His new gf has completely thrown the truth and said I was saying horrible shit when Infact she was the one saying it to other people. As well as this seeing the one person I wanted to be friends with after the situation ended but couldn’t I had some heartfelt feelings of genuine concern, I unblocked him as a way of saying if you need a friend I’m there for you, but it didn’t come across that way because his gf said I’d only just blocked her when that wasn’t true I’ve had them both blocked for months and then he started attacking me saying basically I wanted to get back with him when that’s not the case because I’m seeing someone else atm. I told him it over and over that I just want to be friends and that in my mind was the first start to unblocking because there’s no need for the animosity, but he just kept blaming and blaming and blaming me which hurt beyond anything because I was genuinely only trying to be nice after all I’ve been through is insane of me and everyone that night said that I had too big of a heart. How am I meant to go on now thinking everyone is gonna judge me when all my friends said that they would never think that. It’s painful in my head rn, what am I to do

I cant even feel anything I havent been able to cry, im like completely detatched and whenever i cry i feel like "what if im just faking it", i dont even know how to feel, i know the intrusive thoughts are ike i dont want to have at all and this isnt me, just a fee days ago i was fine and didnt even think of anything remotely close to thing, its getting so convincing and i dont want to be a bad person, i just want to cry and let ut all out but i cant, and my brain keeps telling me "well uour numb so you must like the thoughts" does anybody have advice, i just want to feel like myself again, this is genuinly so bad and im having a really hard time, i feel so empty and ive been stuck on this for a few days now, a couple of weeks ago i was sobbing over the same theme and it came back just 2 or 3 days ago also j think im starting to have false memories that are scaring me, idk its just a guess hut i think theyre startibg ti show uo a little. im so so so tired and i just want this rough bit over with, i want to feel kike me again, i barely feel alive rn this is just a repost of what i said on reddit but nobody ever responds and i really am so tired of this and i dont want to be a p word