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How can I allow the disturbing thoughts of envy without being envious? saying "maybe, maybe not" feels unnatural or like denial, especially with the OVERWHELMING physical sensations (anxiety, shame, racing thoughts) that accompany it. Background: one of my latest spike occured due to envy, when two of my closest friends achieve a deep desire of mine: starting a family. I got disturbed by thoughts like 'I can't stand seeing them happy, followed by "doom" feelings. It feels morally wrong not being happy for them, I want to be happy for them but I think deep inside it's this grieving process to "lose" yet another best friend. And here I am, 35 and childless and biologically, running out of time (but that's a different topic..) ---- One thing I would like to say to Dr. McGrath, I appreciate the time his dedicating to make OCD education accessible. He truly makes a difference 🍀 greetings from Switzerland! Fleur

I’m wondering if this has happened to anyone else… I’m 28 years old. I was diagnosed with OCD when I was very young and it took a while, but I overcame it. I haven’t had any compulsions in 20 years. I’ve had some horrible things happen in the past, but nothing brought back my OCD. The only thing I struggle with is overthinking and making decisions. Im about to take a sabbatical from my work for a year to travel because the last year of my life has been by far the happiest and most confident iv ever been. I went to see a therapist a couple weeks ago who was an OCD specialist, I just wanted some tips and tricks for decision-making while I’m on my trip. She warned me that my OCD might get worse before it gets better, but I thought that she just meant with decision-making and overthinking. They have this program set out that I didn’t really wanna do but she told me it works really well so I decided to try it. It’s two sessions a week and the first two sessions were sort of just talking about my old OCD and doing questionnaires. I really related to some of the questionnaire questions, and the therapist was actively telling me that I definitely had OCD the whole time which made me feel bad. After our second session, my OCD came back full swing like when I was a child. I cant stop thinking about doing compulsions every waking second. It’s been two weeks. I’ve been to her several times and nothing is helping, I’m resisting the urge to do compulsions as much as I can and I feel like I’m fighting for my life. Nothing is helping and I’m burning out. I wake up and cry everyday because of how uncomfortable and out of control I feel. I never thought this would happen and im so mad at myself for ruining my trip. I feel like I’ve ruined my life tbh and even if I do get better, I’m always gonna be bothered by the constant fear that even at the highest and most happy points in my life it could just come back at any second with no warning signs.. I thought I knew how to deal with it and had the tools, but nothing is working this time and its ruining my life. Today I asked about cancelling my trip altogether, and I might be going on medical leave. Has this happened to anybody and do you have any tips for me?

Okay so my house was affected by the hurricane Mrs Helene so the people just came to fix the roof days later the men came without knocking or anything he just came and tried to fix the roof which he didn’t even fix. So we have a dog his name is lucky he lives back there so lucky started to bark at the man and he ran from luck. We didn’t even know the dude was back there so now he wants to knock and tell us to get luck which was incredibly stupid what if lucky bit him or killed him and he would’ve had to get put down because of someone stupid actions. So while dealing with ocd I have incredible anger issues that I’m trying to get help with. My sister works from home so she couldn’t watch lucky I had to I’m 17 and lucky is a big dog so I was trying to watch him as I was making my forge but he gets so excited by everything because he doesn’t really stay in the house but when he gets excited he runs he jumps and he likes to sniff doing all that his fur gets everywhere. So as I’m trying to eat and make my coffee he keeps trying to pee so I go to him and pushes his leg down Real fast because he’s literally peeing on the trash can he did this like two times and I feel like I abused him I was getting really frustrated too and I was trying to be stern with him and tell him to sit but he just wouldn’t listen unless I put my hand on his back and literally push him down while telling him to sit and he would only listen for a second so while trying to make my coffee still he keeps trying to sniff everything and he keeps getting his fur on stuff

So for basically half my life, ever since I was a teenager I've struggled with sex addiction and it has effected me in many different ways. I'm convinced that I have trauma that goes back to my teenage years due to being exposed to pornography with basically no knowledge of anything on the topic of sex. This also lead me to inappropriate activities with people online relating to sex and I have a lot of anxiety and guilt about this. It also desensitized my immature brain to seeking very inappropriate, disturbing content that I didn't think much of at the time and it bothers me that I was put through that when I didn't know better. Nowadays, this is all still a problem for me. There have been times where I have some reckless things just to get a high from pleasure. A year ago this happened, and now ever since I've been worrying about my health since. I've been worried for so long that I have some kind of infection, an STI, or that I've damage my body because of this addiction. I haven't told anyone about this because I'm too embarrassed too and I'm just worried about how my family will react to it. They know nothing about this part of my life at all. I've always worried about them finding out and not being able to handle the embarrassment and shame of it all. I've only told my therapist pieces of all of this, but I haven't opened up about wanting to get checked out for any kind of infections I've given myself because I was just so addicted to finding ways to get that high. Oddly enough, being reminding of the acting out just makes me want to go back to chasing the high all over again just to escape so I don't have to worry about it, but that only makes me feel worse. I don't know what to do.

Why has all my other OCD subtypes gone away but this one (SOOCD) stays around 24/7!? Does that mean that’s who I actually am?

Around a year and a half ago I got into my relationship with my amazing person. I grew up in a family where mental health never mattered. My partner has brought up that I have more issues than I knew were even real. I struggle a lot with feeling like I loose my mind, an event happens where I feel triggered and I can’t find it in myself to control my thoughts and eventually I lash out. I have really bad intrusive thoughts that sometimes what’s said in my head scares me and I can’t tell what is actually coming from me or what is the intrusiveness. I just need help for myself and my relationship, I tend to self sabotage and believe everything bad happens to me bc it is my fault. I am very quick to spiral when things happen. I tend to victimize myself and have breakdowns wondering why things happened to me all the way from early elementary school. I would appreciate some advice!

I hate that 2 words can make me spiral downhill. A simple “What if I don’t like girls anymore” or “What if I’m not always interested in looking at revealing photos of Women.” It’s so silly. I’m the type of guy who loves providing and protecting a woman and I don’t do hook ups. As much as I find women in revealing clothing attractive, I find myself constantly daydreaming (non sexually) if I see a beautiful woman that I want to pursue. I love being in love with a woman. It makes me feel really happy and it just feels like OCD is taking that away from me. The more I overthink and ruminate on What If thoughts, the more it feels like I’m turning gay, even though I know that’s not how sexuality works. I want to be with a woman romantically and I want to marry a woman. If I catch myself scrolling too fast on a girl in cleavage, I’ll think I’m gay 🤦🏻‍♂️ or if I stare at a guys face in a video for a certain amount of seconds instead of the woman , I’ll think “oh no I’m turning.” Like I feel I’m the only one who has these ridiculous ocd thoughts

I told a girl to go fuck her dad (he's in jail) because she has hit me over the head with a shoe, told my friends I made up lies about them (I didn't), poured water on me, brought a vape to school and tried to force me to use it, wrote me a death threat letter (which I sadly lost), called me autistic (I'm not), said my parents are related (they're not), made fun of my cousin, said I'm a weirdo and started a big fight at lunch and when I apologised she still shouted at me and made up rumours. She told me she was going to report me to the school for texting her to go fuck with her dad, but I think she deserved it. Our school will take stuff like this very seriously though and I don't want my parents finding out. What should I do?

I’m having a bad episode right now and I’m feeling so depressed and I’m crying like a baby because I’m thinking that if my mom knew the reasons I’m like this she would hate me and what would I ever do without my mom. I’m feeling so alone. I just need my mom but I know I can’t open up to her. Like even if I’m this horrible person my mom would despise me too? I can’t handle that someone please help.

Sometimes im really scared of myself. I get these urges to hurt myself and theyre so intense and i cant Stop Them. For example, when im shaving, then i get the urge to Cut myself and I feel so anxious cause im Just so scared of doing it. Or when im cooking or straightning my Hair, i wanna burn myself. I Know that Sounds confusing but sometimes when i wanna Hurt myself then i already kinda feel the pain without even doing it. And i Know all of this has something to do with my ocd because i dont actually wanna Hurt myself.

I'll be watching videos on Instagram and TikTok and then there's one that pops up that relates to my fears of struggles - fear of losing people (being vague because even typing about it is hard) - and it triggers me because i fear that it will cause something to happen. And like, anytime I tell people about these fears, they're just like "focus on present, you can't stop that from happening" and it's like - i know i can't bro 😭 and i don't wanna accept it but i feel guilty for not wanting to accept it because idk, it just makes me feel ashamed and like i'm taking advantage of moments . like i know i can't stop it and i do wanna focus on present moment but it's so hard to when my brain is fixated on these certain triggers that make me obsess over the future, the passing of time, and those fears so i will find mtself fixated on future dates and numbers, counting down, etc.. and i just hate it because I don't wanna be that way. I just wanna be chill and to not focus on this stuff this much. To make the passing of time feel somewhat decent and to stop focusing g on certain things that hurt me

OCD is so tiring. I’ve been dating this guy for about 3 months. I reallyyyyy like him. However, it’s also been so exhausting because I’m constantly questioning the relationship, and him. “Is this who God want a for me?” “Is there someone better?” “Do I even like him?” “If someone is good for you, you will be at peace” “Is this OCD or discernment” “follow your gut” I’m just constantly looking for answers! I can’t just be present. I know my upbringing may be apart of this. Im Christian, but my walk with Christ is not perfect. Ive fallen short to temptation and I feel like because of that the relationship won’t work or God is punishing me. Im constantly praying or thinking about what God thinks of me. Probably a compulsion. Which hurts as well because I used to be able to pray freely…if that makes sense. However, this has happened before. I leave someone then I start obsessing over something else. My sexuality or my health or if I have OCD or not. This relationship is still essentially new but this is the first relationship I’ve been open about my mental health struggles. And, I didn’t feel judged. But, my mind is saying if we breakup. I will be happy. I also get triggered by Instagram posts about relationships. It’s apart of my algorithm at this point, but I feel like any post I see is a sign?? It’s just so annoying. Sorry I’m all over the place, but that’s how it feels in my mind. I just need to get these thoughts out. I just want to be content with whatever happens.

Consider this for a moment. We often think we see with our eyes, but in reality, our eyes merely transmit signals to the brain, which then creates the images we perceive. The same process applies to hearing, tasting, touching, and smelling—our brain constructs our perception of reality. This brain also understands your values and the true essence of who you are. In OCD, I believe there's a malfunction in the mechanism that recycles memories. Its primary role is to clear out old memory spaces for reuse. If it encounters a memory linked to something important to you, it brings it to your attention to see if you'll react. If you do, it retains the memory; if not, it's discarded as irrelevant. For someone with OCD, ignoring these thoughts is challenging. They often dwell on them, signaling the brain to keep them and attempt to resolve whether they're significant by creating false scenarios or memories. This process occurs while the person experiences intense emotional reactions because these thoughts clash with their values, leading to feelings of rejection and distress. The awareness that they might be responsible for these unwanted thoughts exacerbates the situation, resulting in a cycle of agony. After many cycles, the person becomes exhausted from anxiety and emotional turmoil. However, the brain is genuinely trying to help by clearing memory space and resolving ethical or moral dilemmas. The key is understanding that your true self remains intact. You are defined by your negative emotions toward these intrusive memories, not the memories themselves. Hang in there; trust me, things will get better. Apologies for the lengthy post—I wanted to explain it thoroughly, and I might share this response with others who could benefit from it.

I feel so defeated by false memory ocd. The reality of it all hits me so hard , I just feel so hopeless.

feel really down like i'll never be able to live my life i feel i'm never truly happy i just have to get by i feel stuck ive had loads of therapy cbt nothing will ever really help me 😞

When I’m not obsessing over some thought I feel weird cause I’m always checking if the thought is there and so scared that I will obsess about the thought again. It’s so scary cause I have no idea. It’s like I’m obsessed over not being obsessed?( if that make sense ). Like my life is basically being obsessed over something and if I’m not obsessed for like couple of hours I feel the need to be obsessed, like wtf is wrong with me. Because when I’m obsessing over a thought it’s like 24/7 and the urge is so big. And when I’m not obsessing I feel the need to be obsessed. I don’t know what going on anymore, is it normal?

I’m not saying any of this to be rude or hateful in any way!! Basically, I like this guy and I really love him, but, everytime I look at this one photo of him, I keep noticing he looks unflattering and it makes me worry, because I’m scared what if he’s ugly? And why does that even matter? Why can’t I just love him in peace without having to check his photo to make sure he’s not ugly? Like that sounds really rude and disrespectful and it hurts even more to know that he’s self conscious and I would NEVER want to hurt him so I don’t tell him I check his photo to make sure he’s not ugly, I get anxious when I notice/feel that he is unattractive/unflattering, so I check till I feel certain that I don’t think he’s ugly, why do I even do this? Why does it matter? Why does my brain make it difficult to even look at a photo without worrying, can I be normal? I say “I think he’s cute/I love him” to his photo and my brain is like “nope cuz he’s unattractive” then I get worried and for what??? I ask myself why do I care and I genuinely don’t know

Ok Hi. This is my first experience ever with rOCD and I think my OCD is flaring up bad because of it. I’ve always been insecure since a young age because of things people have commented about my appearance. Like about my nose or saying I have a masculine jaw (I’m female btw). I know I’m a good looking girl and many people have told me that I’m pretty… but for some reason I just don’t believe them. I know I wouldn’t have a boyfriend rn if I was unattractive but still, I can’t help but feel like he’s lying to me when he said I’m pretty or sexy. I’ve always obsessed about my looks and I feel like I’m always craving reassurance and validation from others. It’s exhausting. I also really do like my boyfriend, I think I’m falling in love with him. But I just don’t know. I don’t know what it feels like. I’m overthinking everything about our relationship and I keep thinking about his exes ughhhh. Comparing myself and his past relationships with ours. I feel like he doesn’t really like me even though he’s done nothing to show me that he doesn’t. I’m just so in my head and I hate feeling like this. I feel like he thinks I’m ugly or unattractive. It sucks. I have this lingering feeling of being undesirable. I need help!!!

POCD has been the worst thing I've ever been through. I feel like I have always sort of experienced it but not to the degree I do now. I used to plan being a mother to a beautiful family. Now I don't know if I'll ever have children at the risk of having a girl. I used to have intrusive thoughts that would make me feel weird but I could just move on from them. That was until I had to babysit my niece and change her diaper. I want to throw up thinking about it. I got a horribly strong groinal response and I didn't know what to do. I didn't understand why it was happening. It bothered me all day that day and later on I did the disgusting deed of testing myself. I regret it everyday. It's a horrible compulsion and it haunts me. I tested if I was getting off to the thought of her. And of course there was stimulation because of the groinal response. But I hated doing it. I just felt like I had to be sure. After that and since then I haven't wanted to be around her. I stopped planning being a mother, I stopped watching cute baby videos like I used to enjoy because they trigger disgusting intrusive thoughts. After a while I stopped being intimate with my boyfriend and haven't done anything with for months because the thoughts take over and make me feel like I may enjoy the deed more if I was thinking of children. I worry that maybe I do enjoy these thoughts and I'm just denying it. I wish I could be sure. I feel so disgusting and ugly, I've never hated myself this much. It takes over most of my days. I wish I had never changed her diaper. Some times in moments of clarity I am so sure that I'm not a predator, but when I am vulnerable OCD sneaks back in and tells me I enjoy my thoughts and that I should think them. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming that I have to test. I wish I could stop. It ruins my entire week. I feel like a monster. I want to love my life again. I miss life before this. I feel so hopeless most of the time and I can't imagine a way out. I'm scared to start therapy because what if I found out I am a monster? I can't live like that. I won't. I want to cry and scream. Am I alone in this?

Anyone else struggle with prayer? I do it obsessively and I have to do it just right or I think something bad will happen to my loved ones. Ive struggled with it for about 25 yrs. It's makes it so hard for me to pray but if I don't then the fear something terrible is going to happen kicks in I just can't deal with this anymore...