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I’ve been struggling with this for the part year and it’s been horrible I hate my life and I feel like nothing works , please help or feel free to share tips or your own story

Hey guys I’m 16 this happened when I was around 15 all my life I have been heterosexual I Have loved women and cried over them obsessed etc never questioned my sexuality until my female friends said I was gay and made me take a gay test at that time I had no attraction to girls cause I was depressed and I fell into this gay mindset after my friends told me that I constantly had are you gay thoughts and images and couldn’t move was week now I’m better I still have no attraction to girls at all I am diagnosed with ocd is my fear of gay becoming true please someone respond I feel like my fear of being gay is coming true

My contamination ocd is so bad. I don’t want anyone to come into the house who has been out in public because I don’t want them on my furniture or carpet. I feel like it will be dirty. I also don’t like anyone to come in with dirty feet. We take our shoes off but I also don’t want anyone coming in with their socks on because I also feel like that is the same thing as wearing your shoes around…walking around in the garage transfers onto their socks and that’s the reason I don’t want them in the house. It’s a problem for my husband but we have lived this way for so long that it’s hard to break the cycle. My thoughts are that we wash our clothes everyday but we can’t wash our furniture. Has anyone had anything similar that could give me some suggestions?

I’ve been feeling very empty. After all these thoughts i just have genuinely no desire to seek God. And i find myself getting angry at God because he allows me to have these stupid thoughts about him. I’ve been feeling anger towards him. I have no desire just emptiness. Every time i open my bible i also feel like it’s boring and it won’t help me. And that if i try and seek God again, nothing will work because i’ll just get caught up again in this ocd cycle. I want to WANT to seek God. Has anyone felt like this?

The other day I made a post about being kind and supportive and not being judgmental when commenting on other people’s posts because someone made a comment on my post insinuating that I don’t have ocd and i’m actually just a bad person. At first it didn’t really bother me because I know i’m not a bad person but now my ocd is latching onto their comment and it’s making me feel horrible. My post that they commented on was about how whenever I think things to myself like how my pre teen daughter is blessed to have slim legs and not chubby thighs like mine and she’s growing up into a nice shape or my teen son has a nice shape jawline and neck and it’s good that he’s slim but he’s too slim or how all of my adult kids are so handsome/beautiful my ocd turns my random normal mom thoughts into something inappropriate. I know I don’t think of or look at my kids or any kids or young person in an inappropriate way. My ocd says I do and I was seeking support. That persons comment was so damaging for me. I tried to think maybe they have never had dark disturbing intrusive thoughts with their ocd themes and maybe they just don’t understand or maybe they have never had pocd theme or maybe they are not a parent but even if all of that were true, their comment was still so judgmental and damaging. I am struggling even more now because my ocd is latching onto that persons comment and making me feel like a horrible person. Has anyone else had this happen? How did you get through it?

I cant regulate my emotions, I dont know what is the right way to do it, I have a perspective that we need to let it be there and accept that it affects us, but it starts to get so strong and im afraid i wont be able to enjoy the party im going tonight. Im watching alot of videos right now cause i want this night to be okay and if i will have negative experiences, then i can deal with them and still enjoy the party, but I dont find anything helpful. I just feel like everything i do is avoiding the emotions and the only thing i can do and what these videos are telling me is if that letting the emotions be there and accepting if it effects me, if i start to cry then cry, if i feel anxious then be anxious and avoid the party, if i feel sad be sad, if i feel like i want to go home then i can go home, but these are powerless advices to me... i want to stay and enjoy the party and if i feel emotions i want to not give attention to them, but this gives me a huge fear and desperation that im avoiding my feelings and i do something wrong. The advice i get is that you have to listen what the fears are telling you, what the sadness is about, what is the reason you have the emotions, sorting out every fear i have and label them what they are telling me, and then face them all is mentally overwhelming. Idk about yall but when i start to listen my fears and find a reason i feel them it doesnt empowers me, it actually makes me be afraid more.I feel like this advice doesnt help me, i have to let the emotions effect me, find the reason i feel them and if it makes me horrible and stuck and depressed or having panic attacks, just accept it. The other thing im thinking about is to put mental health work on the side now and just enjoy the moment but that makes me afraid of avoidance and repressing emotions. I have this thought now that the only way you go through an emotion is if you can do something about it like fear, you have to find the reason you are afraid and you need to face it, if you cant do that you are stuck being afraid. If youre sad you have to think about why do you are sad and if you have an unhelpful belief you work on changing it, you notice the unhelpful ones and you change them, but if you dont do it you get stuck. Theres no other way to change that emotion...and this is overwhelming, atleast this is what i get from those videos. This is not realistic to expect myself going through all of this while im on a party and try to sort out everything i feel, but then the other answer is "well accept it and if you feel bad go home". This makes you choose just 2 options, actually just one cause we know recovering is a journey, and that means i have to go to a party knowing it will be bad, i wont enjoy it but hey "accept it, im having a problem". I understand you have to love yourself and be kind but am i the only one who feels like this isnt right. I still want to enjoy the party, this view is powerless and depressing, i need a new view...

Does anybody have time to talk

I've gotten diagnosed with OCD and I'm in therapy. But I'm worried that I don't have OCD/that I got misdiagnosed. And recently I'm worried that I've just gotten myself into a habit of thinking of dirty minded or just plain old terrible things after I see/hear certain things because I feel like I need to prove I have OCD or else I'm faking(sometimes this goes away). Or that I'm just mimicking symptoms of ocd to cope with real problems I may have and that im just really deep into denial. I don't know...I'm just so tired. I mean, what if I really am what I think I am and this is my brains only way of coping? I don't even really feel anything towards most of the thoughts anymore either I just know they go against my values and I don't want them. I don't know if that's because I'm so mentally exhausted, I just don't care, or that the thoughts are true and I'm comfortable with them.

i’m locked in my bathroom because I am so sad that I can’t stop my intrusive thoughts and ever since I watched the menendez brothers series i can’t stop having these intrusive thoughts that I would like to hurt my parents and that I would like to go to jail which is not true but my mind makes me think its totally true that I will not be happy if i’m not in jail I feel so sad I want to disappear

I went out with my coworkers today. There Is One coworker Who Always asks me if im a lesbian. And It already triggerars me but I try to let It pass. Now today we went out and She started to get really close to me, hug me etc and I started to feel weird, my Heart was beating fast and I don't know why?? My brain is telling me I reacted like that cause I like her. Idk i'm panicking, why did I have so much anxiety when She got close? She's really beautiful too so the fact that she's physically beautiful makes everything worse?? Idk what to think

Is anyone else here a Christian dealing with ocd? I could use some support because I've been having a hard time growing close to God ever since my ocd started getting bad. I deal with a lot of religious intrusive thoughts such as being unforgivable, or being cursed or possessed. What's some advice?

Does anyone else with SO-OCD struggle with imagining a future partner and checking feelings? That’s been my biggest compulsion, and now I feel like I don’t want to end up with a man someday, or that if I do I’ll feel sad or lonely. I’m also sitting here imagining being with women and I can’t tell if I like the sexual thoughts or not anymore, or if my negative reactions mean anything. My face scrunches and I feel anxious and my temperature rises. I’ve been off this app for a couple weeks but still feeling anxiety pretty steadily. I keep imagining the future and getting this feeling and voice that I’m gay and I need to come out to everyone. It’s distressing and I don’t feel like myself anymore

Why does this always happen. Every single time. I wanted to watch American psycho for halloween but I didn’t cause my dad said oh it’s disturbing but isn’t it supposed to be?!! Cause it’s a goddamn horror movie?! Now I feel bad for wanting to watch it even though I’m 18!!! And I’ve always been allowed to watch horror movies. But then again people and ocd have to go and ruin it for me. So should I ignore it and still watch it cause people say it’s really good.

Atraction, arousal, crushes, I have them all, I didnt had them before the thoughs, but I do now, and it all honesty I don't recognize the false part, the crushes come from memories or thoughs and now I'm starting to believe that maybe I never had a crush on a woman cause these false crushes feel so intense that I honestly have no idea how could they be false but at the same time are so intense that if I always had them like my brain says then how didnt I notice before, same goes for the atractions. So real tired right now.

TW: mentions of S3xu@l @buse Like the title said I had a really horrible dream of my abuser performing oral sex on me. And Inside the dream I kept having the same feelings I had the day he abused me. I had also the same feelings I have when my OCD attacks. The thing is my brain kept trying to switch his imagury of that of a woman (which is way more pleasing) still I remember his face and I woke up with a lot of anxiety and disgust. I honestly hated it I know OCD can affect dreams I just hope this doesn't become recurring... I really don't know what to say anymore. I didn't enjoy it but my OCD keeps trying to say I did. I think this is the worse part of it really.

Any tips on managing suicidal OCD? I think my compulsion is to call 988 when I feel anxious that I might do something, but I’ve never attempted before. I’m happy I’ve never attempted, but I’ve been struggling with this theme for 6 years- it gets exhausting. I also have depression and possibly BPD so trying to decipher whether it’s Suicidal OCD or suicidal ideation is weird. I think when I feel anxious & want to call 988, it’s suicidal OCD but when I feel like I don’t care about anything, shut down, get angry, & don’t want to call 988 is probably when I need to. Weird, huh?

Today we’ll like last night I had a dream and in the dream someone said something to me and it’s triggering my thoughts like reinforcing them. It basically meant I somehow acted on the thoughts. Did I do something in my sleep or something I’m so scared. My thoughts don’t even involve other people so I mean it is possible but how come I don’t remember or anything. Also in the dream someone described something to me by comparing it to a certain food and I’ve never had that food and now I never want to have it because it’s so triggering. It literally was rhe worst thing ever and I was doing fine until that happened. It was so inappropriate and like my actions in the dream were fine I remember in the dream I was walking and then I passed out and woke up and saw this person but what the person did and said in the dream is triggering me. Is this a sign that something is going to happen or something? Why else would I get the dream?

I, like so many others, have had ocd for most of my life. I have had many themes throughout my life. I am a mom and have had harm and pocd as well. For me those have been the most difficult and most painful themes. I have seen many people post on this app and they have had some pretty horrible and disturbing intrusive thoughts or false memories and real events ect. much worse than mine and I have never judged anyone because I know how bad ocd and intrusive thoughts can get. I had someone comment on a post I made recently asking me if I even have ocd insinuating it’s not ocd and i’m a actually just a pedo. That upset me so much because anyone who has experienced pocd knows how horrific and disturbing the intrusive thoughts can get and how opposite of who we really are ocd is. Our ocd already makes us doubt ourselves so to have a fellow sufferer of ocd say something like that can be so damaging. So many people are afraid to seek help or post on apps like this out of fear of being judged so we have to be mindful of what we comment. This person, after reading their bio has never experienced that theme and so they have no idea what it’s like or how bad it can get. I am writing this post because I think we need to be more understanding of those who suffer with themes we haven’t and not be judgmental especially if we don’t know them or their ocd story and what they have been through. I beat my ocd and for years I was ocd free until a recent stressful situation in my life and it came back and has been relentless and worse than ever before. I have had so many kind people give me great support on this app and I give support as much as I can when I see posts of others going through similar things as me. Be kind and think before you comment.

Was looking for lingerie to wear when my boyfriend comes over in a few days, I saw a dress and thought "oh easy access" and then seconds after had a super frustrating and gross thought about POCD.. then convinced myself i actually wasn't thinking about my boyfriend when i saw the dress, and that i was thinking about a child intimately. i feel disgusting, i cannot stop trying to trace back the thought of whether i was thinking about my boyfriend or a child, and i feel so nasty. i'm incredibly stressed, i want to shower and wash my body because that's my compulsion for POCD, but i've showered 6 times already today and i really just want to lay in bed. i feel disgusting though. i know it was only a mental thought, but it makes me feel disgusting physically. i know this is ocd, i know i'm just having ocd, but with POCD it feels real and disgusting. i truly don't know if i was thinking about my boyfriend, i mean the only reason i was shopping for lingerie was to think about what he'd think i'd look good in, and then that thought after seeing the dress happened and now i'm so disturbed. here's how it went down after ruminating way too much scrolled down past a dress, had a bad thought about pocd as i was scrolling back up to it after thinking easy access, and now i'm convinced i wanted to buy that dress after having a POCD thought about it. i REALLY just want to shower and change clothes and feels clean again, but i know that's a compulsion

I overanalyse everything my boyfriend does or says. If he’s joking around and just being playful it really annoys me and triggers me. It makes me anxious because I feel out of control. What if he doesn’t stop being playful when I want to go back to being serious? I don’t know. Maybe this isn’t even ocd! But I love his personality and he is a great person, I just can’t keep obsessing over everything. He does or says something that isn’t quite perfect and my brain starts to overthink and say ‘maybe a good person wouldn’t do that’ or ‘does this mean maybe he’s not good?’ That was so hard to write because he is genuinely such a good person and treats me so well 😩😩 I feel so guilty for having these thoughts. It’s like everything has to fit into a neat little box. If he does something that annoys me, I immediately think we are incompatible and I shouldn’t be with him. I always think I’m lying to myself. I sometimes think what If someone else was looking at my relationship and could see every interaction we had and thought it was bad but I can’t see it and I’m lying to myself. I would feel so stupid. Honestly at this point, I don’t know whether he actually annoys me and that’s a sign we shouldn’t be together or it’s my brain wanting every little thing to be ‘just right.’ But how to tell the difference because I could be easily lying to myself because I like the idea of having someone in my life. I 100% know I love him as a person, I love being with him, we get on very well, it’s just my intrusive thoughts that ruin everything. Or are they intrusive thoughts? Why do some things he does or say trigger me? Surely that must mean things aren’t good? That sounded so ridiculous to write. I’m so confused. I guess I just wanted to write my thoughts out so they made sense, and see if anyone else has felt similar. 🙏🏻