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the NOCD Community

I'm scared that I don't have OCD. While my main theme is hocd It seems like there's a new thing everyday. I watched a video about schizophrenia and now I'm really anxious. I've never heard voices or had hallucinations before, but I feel like I fit all of the early warning signs. Is it normal to be so paranoid with OCD? I had a giant panic attack last night because I woke up from a nightmare with demons in it. I wouldn't let myself go to sleep until it started getting light out because I got really paranoid. I'm so scared of losing control and going off the deep end mentally. I already feel crazy. Why me? Why do I always get the shit end of the stick in life?

Anybody need advice ?? Lmk ?

I’m interested to know what the root of people’s contamination OCD is? Is it the fear of sickness, the fear of giving someone else a sickness, or a general feeling of disgust from being exposed to something ‘dirty’? I feel like i might actually be the latter - I don’t fear illnesses as much but more the fear of being exposed to something considered disgusting. I’m not sure which is easier!

Can sexual orientation change?

I have been successfully working on ERP for an onsession however the thought is still with me. Have any if you experienced this? Thanks!

How do I know that this is OCD or not something else? I really feel like it is just OCD but my mind is so convincing I’m gonna develop schizophrenia or become delusional. I’m so anxious cause I have other themes mixed into this (such as harm OCD) Any tips?

I made a bad choice when I was a teenager. It is by my standards one of the worst things I’ve ever done. I hit my sibling when I was upset with her, she was a lot younger than me, and she is non-verbal. I shared a room with her and she kept getting out of bed and crying at the bedroom door because she wasn’t ready for bed. I had spent about 2 hours bringing her back to bed and tucking her in and at a certain point I just lost my cool. I had school in the morning and for whatever reason I felt I couldn’t ask my mom for help. (I can’t remember why) I hit her, yelled at her, called her a bad girl, and pushed her into bed. In hindsight it makes me feel fucking sick to my stomach that I would treat someone like her like that. I realize as an adult so much more I could’ve done and how I could’ve handled the situation better. I could’ve gotten up and got her a snack, maybe she was hungry. I could’ve gone downstairs and woke my mom up and told her I was getting stressed out. I could’ve left my room and had a shower to stop my frustration from bubbling. I just feel so rotten about this, and I need to say this somewhere. It’s been about 8 years since this has happened, I’ve told my mom and my boyfriend about how horrible I feel about this. They don’t really seem to get it. In every moment of her life besides this one incident I have been her best friend and I try to do as much as I possibly can to enrich her life so when I express this regret with my family they tell me “I’m sure she’s forgotten”, “look how much she loves you” etc. My boyfriend compares this instance to times he hit his sister as a kid. I just don’t find it the same and I don’t know how to move on from this, especially since I’ve been obsessing over this during my most recent meltdown.

Anyone female here that also think, women are a little more physically attractive than mean? Don’t get me wrong I find men attractive but I think we’re physically attractive? Idk if I’m explaining myself correctly. Sorry lol (no offense to men what so ever.

when I think about other girls I get this like weird feeling, i think it’s anxiety. I always question wether i feel anxious because i have Hocd OR its because i’m actually attracted to them and i’m just scared about being gay or coming out. Everything is just so confusing i don’t know why I can’t just put my finger on the answer :( I’ve always felt different in regards to sexuality, i’ve considered that i’m asexual. But never ever gay. idk what to do anymore :(

So my biggest trigger is poop of any kind. I moved into a new place and my toilet I guess had a leak in the back for a few days before I noticed. My cat has been scared during the move and had been hiding behind my toilet. Then she has been all over my house, her cat stand, the couches, bed, everywhere. I’m already super depressed at the moment and my ocd has made me spiral down. I’m pretty sure she has tracked poop germs literally everywhere. My husband was actually patient with me bc he saw I was about to have a mental breakdown and helped me bathe her and clean the house. Now I feel like everything is contaminated, and I can’t clean everything like the couch and her stand. My husband sprayed Lysol on them and said I need to let it go now. I won’t let anyone use that toilet for a while we have been using 2nd bathroom. I don’t know how I will get over this because this is gross but I got back there to clean after plumber left with bleach spray and THERE WAS LITERAL POOP WATER, like brown pieces I wanted to die. I was wearing gloves and I threw those clothes away but I’m so sick and my hands hurt so bad from washing. Everything is dirty and I feel like I’m going to get sick from germs or die from this anxiety. Please someone help me.

I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years and before we went on holiday all I wanted was to get engaged (or so I thought, because people kept saying when are you getting married, when will you have a baby?) and I’m happy the way we are. Then on holiday my BF joked about buying me an engagement present and I had a panic attack and two whole days of worrying, “does this mean I don’t love him anymore, is there something wrong with me”, even picturing myself not being happy on my wedding day so my imagination went wild. I know deep down I don’t ever see a life without him but I feel pressured to follow the path everybody does and I’m just not ready to get married but I’m 34 and people (society) say that’s what I should be doing. I know that I do love my BF very much, we live together and have a pet, so I’m very much committed, but since then I’ve been having urges to ‘check’ I still love him, for example if we cuddle do I feel a certain way, or having constant thoughts in the third person like “she doesn’t deserve him, she is a bad person, she is lying, she doesn’t feel anything” and the thoughts whizz around constantly. I know that this is my condition but I have a wonderful relationship and I am turning cold and distant because I feel so depressed and empty most days. ?

Anyone here a high functioning person. I have always been a very busy, non stop working hard type. I always have a goal set for the near and far future. I’m always busy doing things like work or school too. I am always busy and doing something and when I stop the thoughts get SO much worse. I don’t relax because relaxing triggers bad thoughts of failure and laziness and not being good enough. I keep thinking that I can’t be struggling mentally because I am able to keep working hard every day. And therefore I must be making this all up. Can anyone relate to this?

For the last few days, my thoughts were so bad I was convinced I was delusional and or schizophrenia. Now my symptoms were very manageable. Has this ever happened? Also is this just what OCD does?

I told my therapist that I'm trying to accept the possibility that I'm gay and he told me that that's not going to make my intrusive thoughts go away and that I need medication. He's not familiar with ERP.

Hello, I have just recently been diagnosed with Pure O OCD and found this app by chance. It’s so amazing to see that other people experience similar things that I do. Now that I know about Pure O, so many things make sense. Thinking back over my life, I never knew so much aligned with OCD. I just figured it was cause of my severe anxiety and depression. Anyways, I’m glad I found this community. :)

Hey guys, having a rough one today. There's no need to report, I'm not feeling suicidal or self harming. But if I'm honest, the thought of giving up on life is a relief in some ways! This past 10 months I've dealt with so much shit, False memories, real event OCD, POCD, ROCD, Harm OCD, animal abuse...Gotta catch em all I guess?! Haha. I've been to the point where I wanted to end it, I think I just get out of there enough where I have some value to life, but don't fear it anymore. Just feeling a bit alone with my OCD at the moment, wanting to know there are others out there.

Does anyone have intrusive thoughts and false memories that are in first person and also third person?

My boyfriend is distancing himself from me and I’m in the middle of the most stressful time of my life with school, the distancing is really making me upset and my OCD is now skyrocketing when I’ve been doing so well for so long, cause idk what I did wrong or if it’s me or what’s up. He’s not one to talk about feelings .. I am just so lost and sad

Are thoughts supposed to be this intense?... I just don't get it. I simply don't want them but my brain keeps feeding them to me very aggressively and I just want it all to just stop so I can live a normal life ???

Sooo I just read an article that said a lot of people who think they have hocd are just strait guys who are worried they are turned on by gay porn. So do I not have HOCD? I see a therapist he seems to think I do, but could it be that he just wants my money???