Welcome to
the NOCD Community

so something that’s really bothering me rn is that when i told my mom about my hocd, she didn’t understand at all and she just said “you can make anything an ocd thing if you wanted to” and that she’s not so sure about this subtype because it’s pretty new and it started being talked about when LGBTQ+ stuff started being acceptable in society. that freaked me out. and i told her it makes me think i’m bi and she said maybe you are. and that freaked me out more and so i said well then why have i liked and had crushes on boys since a young age and never looked at girls the same way as i do guys and i always just wanted to grow up and have a husband and kids. and she said maybe this was because i grew up in a household with a mom and a dad so it made me feel that’s what i should have. but ik i always wanted a husband and kids before bc that’s what i wanted. not bc i felt like i needed to. but since hocd, my attraction left and before i always wanted a boyfriend and when hocd came, all that left. bc you lose attraction from hocd. and now that i’m getting better it’s coming back but still not fully there. and my mom also said that she thinks when your sexual orientation is something that likes multiple genders, there’s always a gender you like more and that could be why i’ve always liked boys. that made me really nervous bc it made me think omg what if that’s the case. and to be honest it doesn’t make sense because before i always thought how the heck does a girl like another girl like that. no, i’ve never been homophobic AT ALL. i completely support. it just didn’t make sense for me. but since hocd, there’s been all this doubt. so that’s it, lol i just wanted to share what’s on my mind and what’s bothering me.

i'm currently on Zoloft for OCD (only 50mg as when i tried a higher dose it messed with me) and Concerta for ADHD. i'm trying to figure out if i should switch meds bc of annoying side effects or if this is something i can fix another way. the problem i'm having with the Zoloft is like, this weird fatigue/brain fog. i take it in the evening bc it was even worse when i took it mornings, but i still get this period in the early afternoon where i feel exhausted and like i can't do anything but sometimes can't fall all the way asleep, only that weird rest-ish state. i also have trouble falling asleep and keeping a consistent sleep schedule and sometimes trouble waking up. Zoloft has definitely helped my ocd symptoms, but i don't know if it's working right for me. i've been on it since january so it definitely should have evened out by now. skipping Concerta actually seems to make it worse so i don't think it's the interaction. i've always had sleep issues and had some on my last med (Lexapro) too, but the daytime sleepiness isn't something i remember before and i've been feeling kind of numb/unmotivated and like my Concerta doesn't work as well as it should. basically i'm just interested in hearing other people's experiences with zoloft and if this specific fatigue thing went away for you. i would especially love to hear if anyone else is on both an ssri and a stimulant bc i know they can have weird interactions with ocd and my psych, to put it kindly, is clueless. also, would love some advice on good ways to tell if a med is working well, or signs you've noticed that mean it's a good idea to look for something else.

okay so i have hocd that makes me think i’m bi. and as of rn it’s telling me i’m bi but the reason i haven’t liked a girl or been actually attracted to a girl in that way is bc i’m bi but prefer boys. this is really freaking me out and idk what to do

Staying calm under fire Hey guys I have been doing really well the past 2/3 weeks in terms of obsessive thoughts. I had a crazy relapse and was able to get it under control and I feel great!! So here’s a few tips to help you guys better understand and manage your anxiety. 1. Become acquaintances with your anxiety Many of us try and push anxiety away or feel the urgent need to have it go away “now”, this only makes us more anxious when it doesn’t go away or makes us go back to compulsions to have it go away. So my advice is to become friends with your anxiety, next time it comes acknowledge it and say “okay you can stay here for now because I know you will go away soon”. Don’t try and force it away, just become aware of it and don’t judge yourself for having anxiety because it is not your fault and it will go away. 2. Visualization This technique has helped me tremendously. Next time anxiety comes visualize yourself in a calming situation. I think of myself being in the gym training or at the beach late at night watching the water. Now I know it can be hard to shift your thoughts from anxious to calming but we can do that, start off focusing on the breath, breath in and out and count each breath. I usually count 10-20 breaths and once I get there I feel pretty calm or at least calm enough to focus on the place I want to be. Engage the senses think about how that place feels, smells, tastes, that’s crucial with OCD because when we are in a rush things don’t feel real so if we can engage the senses and have some sort of objectiveness we are putting ourselves at the advantage. Hope this helps!! Good luck everybody if you have any questions don’t be afraid to reach out!

Hi! I have recently realized that I have OCD. I have, since my childhood made compulsions, but until now I haven't recognized it like a serious problem, since it is very disabling when my triggers occurs in my daily life. I have fearful thoughts about losing someone, or that something awful can occur to that person ( normally a close person) when he doesnt answer a msg in a while, or doesn't pick up the phone in a call, when I can consider that is a time that normally he have the phone, or that is not «normal» that at that concrete time he doesnt answer. A lot of unvolunteers thoughts and feelings of abandonment start to.pop up. Feelings that I live as it is actually happening in the present moment, or that may occur imminently. So the compulsions start non-stop, and I cant allow myself to.relax, even less to sleep, until I get an answer of that person and I confirm everything is ok. That have become really disabling and frustating, and carry with it mire problems that make things worse... idk if this is a common OCD thought or not, but I am sure that it is due to the obssesive thoughs and compulsions.. I have read about the EPR therapy, and I wanted to ask to this.community about RESPOND PREVENTION STRATEGIES and how it has worked for some of you guys. And may that can help. Thank you so much in advance, and i ll be very happy if I can help.in some way too :)

For the past 2 days I’ve felt like shit. Idk if it’s ocd anymore. I have tocd (I hope) and now I’ve literally just started to actually believe it’s not ocd. I’ve been feeling nauseous today and yesterday. Basically my brain is saying “there’s no proof you’re not trans just better accept it”. It feels like a genuine thought. I tell myself that I had compulsions it’s definitely ocd bla bla bla but it doesn’t work. I still refuse to believe it. Reassurance doesn’t do anything and I feel like I’ve stopped doing compulsions. I feel so numb and the thought doesn’t bother me anymore. I feel like I’m forcing myself to be sad because that’s the only proof I have of it being ocd. I feel terrible because I look back at my old posts and feel like I lied. I feel like my thoughts are so forced. Yet I can’t admit to myself that I’m trans. Every time I do it I have to say “no no no I’m cis” but I feel so FAKE. I don’t even think I was happy as a girl in the past but I don’t even remember. In the past a year ago I used to TELL PEOPLE that I was a boy!! I used to literally bind my chest (I think). I was such a tomboy. I fucking hate myself for this because I knew I wasn’t trans but now I’m not so sure. There’s SO MUCH PROOF. I need a therapist but my parents are so strictly against it. My mom found out I had the ocd app and she confiscated my phone (I’m writing this from my friends iPad). I feel so fake literally I was so SURE that it was ocd. I hate myself so much. I’ve dealt with harm ocd before but was that all a lie too?? I feel like I have no choice but to accept that I’m trans. What is this shit?? I’ve been trying to become more girly and I really like it (or do I??) and I’ve been trying to prove to myself that I’m not trans. I also think I have internalized transphobia because I had a favorite trans YouTuber and I secretly hoped he would de transition to reassure myself??? Help?!!!????!?!

anyone else ever just feel like their hocd is the one different one that’s gonna turn out to be true?

Some days it's just hard to get up out of bed because everywhere is in pain due to dryness from my finger tips till my elbows are full of cuts and blood, yet I still wash my hands and I want to give up so bad. The intrusive thoughts of loved ones dying comes and goes, I cried myself to sleep the other night but if anything does happen I know that I'll start drinking. I'm sorry but I just had to write this down.

Hi everyone!!! :) I'm new here and I can't wait to post and share and comment with this great community! I want to get to know yall so if you feel comfortable, I'd like yall to tell me about YOU and your experiences with ocd! Here are some questions but feel free to write about whatever youd like! :) Questions about you: 1. What makes you happy? 2. Would you rather visit outer space or visit the past if you had the opportunity, and why? 3. Anything else you'd like to share! Questions about OCD 1. When did you first get diagnosed with OCD/an OC spectrum disorder? 2. How long have you had OCD? What were some of your earliest memories of OCD? 3. Does OCD run in your family? 4. Which kinds of OCD trouble you the most? (i.e. disturbing images, compulsions, religious ocd, letter obsessions that prevent you from saying or writing a certain letter) 5. What are some triumphs that you've had over OCD? If youre new to treating your OCD, what do you hope to accomplish with your treatment? 6. Anything else about your ocd I would love to hear about as well! :) An important step to recovery is being able to talk about ocd so tall away! :) I can't wait to get to know you!

jeez i haven’t been on here in a while but like everything is so much and it’s just funny at this point how fucked everything feels. and i don’t even know who i am anymore and i can’t even say that i care if i do or not. idek everything is just so out of wack

So i have rocd but bow idk if it is anymore. i see my therpist tomm but it is hard too grasp what is what anymore.

If POCD isn’t bothering me, harm ocd is. I have this fear that my (ex?) best friend like felt forced to do certain things and might have not told me?!! It scares me to think about, and my friend normally talks the logic through with me. That if I hurt her in that way she prooooobably would have said something about it when we were arguing. But it still scares me I guess to think about. I do know she wants me to be happy- even as angry as she was she said she wanted me to be happy. So that’s something right?

Relationship/Cheating OCD Help needed... Hey guys! How do I deal with cheating OCD? I'm just getting into a new relationship, I've explained everything and really don't want my OCD to get in the way. How can I do ERP for this? (and any other theme really)

Can anyone relate to having HOCD thlughts (or any form of sexual orientation OCD) and getting aroused by them? I don't mean a groinal response (tingles, twinges, etc.) or arousal-non concordance (when you're groing get's aroused but your mind doesn't), or confusing stress with arousal... I literally mean getting aroused (both mentally and physiologically) by unwanted thoughts in repeated occasions (frequently) when you test yourself? Basically like if it was a sexual fantasy, with the exception that it's a torture that you have found through compulsions. I never wanted to think any of this and I still hate and wouldn't do any of the content of my thoughts. But this happens to me and makes me feel SOOOOO in denial and anxious even though I've never had sex, interest, attraction or desires for a man (or a transexual, which is my other HOCD topic).

Can intrusive thoughts be very detailed and feel so real? Can they be about anything? Also can they hit out of nowhere? I was laying down trying to meditate when I was hit with a religious theme so badly. I have just felt like I am losing it and the guilt of having it is so strong. I keep thinking about having those thoughts over and over and I feel like something is wrong. Any advice would help. Couple days ago I was struggling with the theme of schizophrenia and now it’s like o have both themes at once.

At this point I just tell myself I'm attracted to women but choosing to be with a man anyway. Unfortunately that doesn't change the groinal responses I'm getting every time I go on social media, etc. I just have to accept the possibility that this is the way it is indefinitely

Does anyone have any tips on overcoming dermatillomania? I pick at my skin for hours every day... So bad that sometimes I can't leave the house in fear of people looking at my skin. It started when my ocd symptoms did (about 14 years old). I'm now 24 and just learning that I have ocd (intrusive thoughts, tapping, checking, counting, involuntary blinking, excessive cleaning of myself and house)... I wasn't diagnosed properly until now. I also have anxiety about writing emails, googling, social media, texting etc in fear that I've said something horrible or offensive or that my intrusive thoughts are going to somehow take over and type for me .... Lol so this took me about an hour to finish writing and to post.... Had to read it precisely 30 times just to be sure ;) thanks for reading ... Also does anyone else suffer from the writing messages and ocd thing ??? Or just me? ?

How can I accept that I may need medication for the rest of my life? Some background: I have several family members with OCD, my paternal grandmother and one of my cousins on my dad's side. I had anxiety issues from really early on as a kid, particularly around health related stuff. I would clean little cuts frequently, small things like that. Other than that, I never felt majorly affected. That changed when I was 19, a few months after I gave birth to my son. I started having obsessions rooted in hypochondria, like that I might have some disease, or that myself and/or those I love would get some horrible illness and die. I was diagnosed and started taking Prozac at 21 years old. I'm now 27. Medication works incredibly well for me. I have no side effects, I function totally normal when medicated. But I've gone off medication like 5 or 6 times just to see if I'm finally okay, and without fail, I relapse (which is happening to me right now, and yes, I've restarted my meds.) My OCD thoughts don't want to accept this though, and I'm being thrown all kinds of thoughts like what if someday the world falls apart and I don't have access to medicine? Or what if I take it for years and years, just to someday find out that it gave me brain cancer or insertdiseasehere? Does anyone have any tips for accepting medication as a necessary part of my life?

Existential OCD Bit of a rant... Are the majority of people unaware of how meaningless their lives actually are or are they aware but think fuck it and carry on? Example; Saving up to go on holiday Brain "why would i want to go on holiday? You're going to work all year, to go to a warmer part of the world for 1 week and lie around sun bathing, maybe get drunk a few days and fly home?" .... As much as i don't want to look at it that way, its true. I look at it right at its core, what it truly is. I can do the same with life... My brain - "whats the point in working all year, every year to go on a few holidays (warmer parts of the world) in my life, have some good times to die, like whats the point in that?" And im baffled because its true. I'd literally go on holiday to see some pointless monument or get drunk like i could anywhere, eat food i could get anywhere (nowadays) Am i supposed to try and stick my head in the sand and pretend its not a thing or do people just accept it and get over it and live their life knowing its quite meaningless. Its just so annoying that i question 'why' am I actually doing this. Does everybody ask themselves these questions? I can't believe its took me to get to my late 20s to realise this. Its like BAMMM everything you've ever thought was cool or fun actually has no meaning to it. How do people continue to do their daily lives, care free without feeling what they're doing is pointless? I suppose i have a few options; 1. Its true but accept it and get over it. (Currently trying) 2. Freak out forever about it and become depressed 3. Freak out and try and find purpose desperately before realising there is 99.9999% no point in my life (tried) 4. Other..? Anyway, ye any thoughts would be appreciated ??‍♂️?? Cheers.

had a breakdown and started crying in my drawing class because my ocd wouldn’t let me start making marks on the page for the fear of messing up. I talked to my professor about needing to leave and he was very nice, and said I can come work on it over the weekend. I went to the bathroom to wash my face before going back to class and as I looked at my red crying face in the mirror I thought “what if I’m just faking this and I’m actually just lazy and don’t wanna draw” :(