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working to conquer OCD
So I have been diagnosed with GAD and OCD and my psychiatrist prescribed me with zoloft š¤ but I dont know im really hesitant to start medication because im scared of the side effects and ik afraid of relying on a medication for a long time. Does anyone else take zoloft? What is it like? Any side effects?
Does anyone else's OCD play really gruesome nasty movie scenes in their heads over and over to torment you (even if you haven't actually watched the movie all the way through/seen it in a long time) almost to say "this is what's going to happen to you."
(21+ ONLY: TRIGGER WARNING) I honestly feel so overwhelmed by my thoughtsāso overwhelmed that I honestly donāt care anymore. I feel like Iām accepting the fact that Iām a monster and have always been a monster. I broke down last night because of these thoughts but I wouldnāt tell anyone if they asked. It wouldnāt make sense to them. This morning, I was watching a body cam video and the person that was arrested was traumadumping about their past SA. I felt like I liked the thoughts and images I got from it. And instead of being disgusted, I let it happen. What does this mean? Does this mean that Iām a monster? Am I a just a monster in disguise?
Yesterday I had a panic attack from OCD fears. I live alone, so in my panic I called my mum just to get some emotional support. It did not go well. I was asking for reassurnce to much and basically she got annoyed with me and started to chastise me. She said I was being ridiculous and accused me of just making up my symptoms to emotionally manipulate her. She even went as far as threatening to call the police on me to have me sectioned. I feel so humiliated. I know that I can be annoying during my panic attacks, and that my OCD puts a massive toll on my familiy. But I don't want to manipulate people. Now, I feel like an abuser. In these moments, seeing how much my weakness makes my family suffer makes me just want to not be here anymore.
Iāve seen wayyyy too many negative posts on here (I totally get it)ā¦but can someone please share some positive experiences? Doesnāt have to be so grand, it could be just that you achieved a small goal with your ocd! I donāt want to continue feeling drowned by this debilitating disorder. I want to see what has helped some of you! So we can all encourage each other! š
I keep having this overwhelming thought of "I need to break up with her," however I really don't want to. It causes me so much anxiety when I try to fight the urge to the point that I'm bed ridden and unable to work. Is this normal for ROCD or am I just fighting my actual feelings?
Hi everyone, Iām new to the community. I was diagnosed with OCD just a couple of months ago and have been doing some reading and other research to try and understand the disorder. With this, I have been actively seeing a great therapist who has been helpful to build tools to deal with my intrusive thoughts ( contamination OCD is my worst theme). Do help learn to deal with the compulsions, I start on Sertraline or āZoloftā I believe since November 2024. Currently Iām on 50mg and have been doing this for just over a month. My question for those who are also taking Sertraline and it has been successful, how do you know it has really provided a benefit and how long did it take to get there? I sometimes feel the medication works, and sometimes I feel it doesnāt (maybe thatās my OCD trying to mess with things). Thanks!
I had a very bad session with a therapist today (NOT FROM NOCD). She basically told me I canāt be helped without medication, said I am too needy and if I keep being needy, people will continue to leave me, and my past trauma from relationships is my fault. I then had a second session with my old therapist who helped process and explain that OCD is lifelong and some people manage it but others have flare ups and I think Iām having a bad flare up (a month long basically) and that I may need medication which Iām terrified to go back on. Does it get better? Will I need meds? Iām scared. I donāt want to get worse and I donāt want these thoughts to scare me.
I struggle with HOCD or SOOCD. Iām a married young woman to an amazing husband. Iāve had this since I was 16 but it only came in flair ups. However this round started in October, and itās been really rough and I would just break down all the time. I went up on my medication and I actually noticed a difference! My thoughts were still very present but I wasnāt really paying attention to them or giving them power. HOWEVER right when I thought I was getting better, my brain started feeling and saying to myself that I just know I am bi but you want to make excuses for it like āoh itās normal to find someone hot since we as a society have an interpretation of what that looks likeā or āI see the girl as myself and thatās what āturnsā me onā or āwell I mean that girl looks kind of like a manā and itās itās making me spiral. I wonāt ever come out as Bi as deep in my soul I donāt feel I am. I have always wanted to be with men sexually and romantically and that has not changed but my brain is making me believe I am and I just donāt want to admit it. Please help me, what has helped you?
Iām struggling so much, I donāt know whatās changed. I was doing so well for a solid two months and now itās been over a month of just my lowest point. My bf has gotten upset at how much I do compulsions and itās taxing him too. I canāt imagine how hard it is to be my partner right now. I feel exhausted Iām tired of my OCD finding new things to obsess or worry over. Iām so TIRED of getting stuck on technicalities. Iām so exhausted with the constant intrusive thoughts and intrusive thinking. Iām so sick of how compulsive I get when Iām so riddled with anxiety. I donāt want to keep pushing. It feels pointless if my life is going to be a constant loop of ups and extreme lows. I feel like such a disgusting, embarrassing person. I donāt want love because I donāt feel like I deserve it. I donāt want patience or understanding because it makes me feel so guilty. Like no one is understanding how bad of person I could truly be. Iām so lost and tired of this
I think my ocd started with me being oversensitive like the fear and thoughts a lot of them have started with that I really hope I have control on emotions and triumph over ocd!!!
I turned 20 years old today. Ive been reflecting a lot. Since ive joined this app ive been an ever changing person. Which is good i want to change i want to be good but i still feel the same inside. Especially when i feel like this. Feel of dread an anxiety. This sense of foreboding i hate. I just feel so sad. I didnāt have good teenage years. Ive just been sad since it began and now thats its over i dont know what to expect. Im scared. Im no longer a child im a full fledged adult. Everything feels so far away but everything still hurts. Im scared for my future but looking ahead at the same time. What do i do now that im 20? Do i drop my interests? Move out? I dont know i feel like i need to do something. I dont want to spiral but i feel so much dread. I dont know what to do.
I am doing ERP by my own because I canāt afford therapy. I exposed myself to babies photos online, changing diapers videos, baby genitalia . All was done with google . I honestly feel like I am predator by viewing these photos even though they are just babies. I seen also a picture on research article of a female patient she is a minor and they have done sexual abuse check on her . The image was so triggering, it was literally a vagina. ā¹ developed lots if obsessions with increased groinal responses. And now I fear that I enjoyed all what I have seen.
Hey fellow OCD warriors! Wanted to ask if anyone elseās OCD tends to latch onto change and catastrophize with all kinds of worst-case scenarios. Thereās a lot going on in my life, and even though they are all exciting things that I truly want and am happy about, Iāve had moments of deep fear at so much change happening and even a sadness that I can only think is a kind of grief of entering a new stage of life/a new me and leaving the old one behind. I am in my mid-20s and a lot of this centers around nostalgia and fear and intrusive thoughts of changes like my parents getting older, myself aging, friendships growing apart leading to loneliness, etc. I know I need to treat it as any other OCD flare-up and do ERP, but it also feels different than other OCD themes because I feel blue and like existentially sad. Even as a young kid, I always hated change and the thought of growing up (even if exciting things were happening) - like I cried when I turned 10 because I was leaving the single digits behind forever! š¤¦āāļø I feel like Iām preemptively mourning things like losing my parents or my health even though I am healthy and my parents are too. I donāt want to waste the time I have ruminating about the future. I havenāt heard this kind of theme mentioned a lot so just wanted to see if any others could relate.
Please helpā¦. I havenāt had an OCD spiral on this topic in wellā¦a long time. For background, Iām in a very loving relationship with my boyfriend of 3 years. I believe we will get married. When we first started dating, he had told me he had a roommate and me, having ocd, googled him to āmake sure I wasnāt attracted to his roommateā. However, to my lovely anxious surprise, I didnāt know if I found his roommate attractive or not. In fact, I think I did find him attractive! This turned into a full spiral and what if thoughts, and it was horrible. Eventually I kinda learned to deal with it, but I always felt kind of awkward around his roommate. Fast forward 3 years later, heās still one of his very best friends so we see him often. And sometimes, this thought still spikes. In full honesty, I actually DONT KNOW if I think his friend is attractive. I obsessed about it so much before I ever officially met him that once I met his friend, I didnāt know what I thought. Anyways, this randomly spiked again, and the thought is āif youāre still anxious youāre attracted to his friend 3 years later, that must mean somethingā¦ā and boom, spiral. I have thoughts of ācheck if youāre attracted to himā when weāre around him and Iām so embarrassed honestly. Because at the end of the day, so what if heās attractive? Itās not like I want to do anything about it, but of course, even saying that, ocd goes āare you sure? You should think of scenarios to check and make sureā. If anyone has been through this, can you please offer advice on how to disregard? I have a hard time accepting finding other people attractive while in a relationship is a normal thing
I feel like having the app is kind of keeping me stuck. I stopped doing therapy after my therapist left abruptly, but I like having the community here. I would feel like Iām abandoning yāall, but it might be better for my mental health? Iām just not sure. I feel like deleting is giving in somehow, but I can always redownload. For the friends Iāve made on here, just know that if I go, I still very much care about you and your wellbeing and recovery! ā¤ļø
iām so sorry, this is a bit longer than i anticipated. for the people that struggle with periods on this app, iāve had irregular ones all my life. the one iām having now has been going on for almost two and a half weeks, iām in so much pain, and iāve bled through pants multiple times a day since iāve been on it. i went to the gyno earlier this year for my first pap smear and tried talking to her about the problems i had previously faced. it felt like she ignored me and rushed through my appointment. i had to go ahead make another appointment with her because she could see me the soonest (since i was already established with her. every other office i called could only take me starting late june) due to the issues i stated previously. iām extremely nervous to go because iām scared she wonāt listen to my issues like last time. iāve also gone to the er a few times trying to figure out whatās wrong, but they all just do a blood test and an ultrasound and tell me to go home. iām swimming in medical bills that i already canāt pay. on top of that, my ocd is getting to a point of being extremely debilitating. i tried seeing if the app would accept my insurance, but they donāt. even with a payment plan, i absolutely cannot afford to find therapy here. iāve also tried looking at therapists near me, but it seems like none of them specialize in ocd. i live in a small town, so in a way thatās expected, but it doesnāt help my case. iāve been feeling incredibly weak due to the blood loss and the lack of therapy. i just need some kind words to help me keep a positive attitude, because itās been extremely hard to do so as of late.
I never heard about people with OCD who have messy living conditions. Maybe this is why it took so long to accept my diagnosis. Although I really dont like how OCD is percieved at by the majority of people, I feel like Im weird or something because I dont fit into that stereotype. I understand that a lot of people with OCD have this issue, but why do I feel so different? If anybody else has/had this belief, what helps with feeling more comfortable? Everytime my mom points out my room, and how its messy- Its like I feel so lazy and useless. So then I often plan out everything I was going to do, step by step, always having a reasoning behind everything, because logic always comforts me. When I start tidying up my room, I go full out (Sheets, Laundry, Clorox, Candles, Vaccuming, Then I start going through the guinea pigs cage to rearranging all of their stuff) Yet always somewhere after doing a few things, I start feeling disgusting and almost shameful of myself. 99% of the time I end up laying on my floor sobbing, noting every little thing about my room. How my furiniture doesnt match, how i would rather have solid floor like hardwood or vinyl instead of the carpet, usually things i cant changeā¦ and then barely anything gets done in my room. I start to have a meltdown and often dont take care of myself even more afterwards. A piece of me feels like my thoughts are just me being a spoiled brat and wanting everything i dont have- meanwhile others dont even have a roof over their head. The other piece of me is just tired, just emotionally exaughsted. Please comment any thoughts or recomendations to maybe improve motovation and attitude towards doing long tasks.
When first triggered it was every male possible. I couldnāt even go shoppingā¦ it was all ages of male, all sizes, and the groinal response was non stop. Like always a feeling there. Then it calmed down but male voicesā¦ I couldnāt listen to the music I use to enjoy or movies Iāve always been interested in. Then it kinda dyed down to people who are good looking but Iāve never in my life been attracted to males and beards. I couldnāt even always say they are good looking but never had this fear, the head ache constantly pounding feelings before. Now itās still good looking males but Iām noticing body shape now? What is this!? Soon as I see a male figure my body feeling like it goes into shock, preparing for the anxiety feeling of āfalseā attraction. It makes me sweat, and nauseous. Is this OCD or after 32 years of loving woman now gone? I donāt really have attraction towards woman (brief moments but not how I use to be) and this makes me so depressed. I donāt want to live like this. The only thing stoping me is my children and wife.
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