- Date posted
- 12w
Iām very overwhelmed anxiety been through the roof
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Iām very overwhelmed anxiety been through the roof
My son has Pure O religious/scrupulosity with GAD and Bipolar. My son was diagnosed with Pure O religious OCD two years ago. He has to complete a task so that God doesnāt send him to hell if he doesnāt do it. These tasks are dangerous like doing multiple back flips on concrete, or jumping off balconies three times, doing MMA slams on his back three times. The thoughts are telling him if he doesnāt do this he will go to hell. Or he is so worried about blaspheming the holy spirt and loose his salvation. He knows this is his OCD. He knows the scripture and that God is one of peace and love. Been there and done that on quoting scripture and reminding him he is saved. I can see the torture he is going through and it is painful to watch. He also needs to be stuck next to me at all times cuz it makes him feel safe. This is impeding on my life as I feel I have a toddler again, he is 24 and a former 4 star football player. He wants this to stop, he is in therapy and working on it. He was free from these thoughts from November 2023 till April 2025. He is dealing with narcissistic trauma with his father and this triggers the OCD. My question is what can I do to support and help him through these episodes and not agitate him and to help him heal?
I have this deep fear Iāll accidentally cheat on my long term partner. This fear was initially triggered a couple years ago after being at a bar with my friends where I enjoyed the attention of being flirted with by a stranger. Because of my enjoyment of receiving verbal attention, I began spiraling about what if I accidentally cheat. Since then I have made multiple confessions to my partner to seek reassurance, replayed events over and over in my head, spent hours googling/looking at reddit threads, and now I dread ābar likeā situations where I know my partner wonāt be around. Today I was triggered and have wasted about 4-5 hours of my day ruminating. Does anyone else with relationship ocd struggle with this fear and have any tips?
iāve unfortunately fallen into the cycle of trying to figure out my thoughts and find answers as to why i feel so distressed. this still pertains to the situation regarding changing my room for those reading who have seen my multiple posts over the last few days. iāve been so distressed and in so much panic about it. iām also panicking over my other room looking so different from when i left it. itās been making me feel crazy because to me thereās no reason for my anxiety to latch so hard onto something that seems so minuscule. i was thinking i was having anxiety over change, but itās like symptoms of ocd too thatās making it really hard for me to let go. SO i started thinking maybe it was perfectionism ocd? iāve realized over time that i do compulsions to where things have to feel ājust rightā, but i also do that with any environment iām in. like it HAS to feel cozy to me and provide me comfort in order for me to feel at ease. and this change is causing me to panic because thereās something wrong that i canāt find an answer to. maybe the different colored carpet? but itās also more than that it feels like. however, now itās spreading into other areas of my house where iāve always been fine in and possibly to just any area iām in at all. hence why itās making me feel crazy because thereās no reason for me to be THIS distressed over that as iāve never really had this problem before. and when i did it would last maybe an hour to a couple of days at most, but this has been going for over 2 weeks with my really bad anxiety being this week. iām doing a little better, but itās still hard when i can feel that panic waiting for me to acknowledge and just engulf me in the ocd cycle. iām also analyzing basically any feeling i have so i just feel off in general and like iām going insane. iāve been so hyper focused on how i feel and that will send me spiraling too. multiple themes then start coming in like existential ocd and fear of solipsism. not to mention my harm and contamination ocd that just adds on when iām this vulnerable. then i worry if no one is real, then no one feels the way i do. or just in general that what if no one feels the way i do. honestly, i think being out of college and in my house with nothing to do is causing me too much time with my thoughts. which is why iām so distressed about everything that pops into my brain.
Last question for the day lol. Does anyone have religious ocd like you think everything is a āsignā?
I am very depressed right now. I really feel like maybe Iāve always been a lesbian and never knew. I never questioned my sexuality when I was young, never wanted to explore, I just was straight and didnāt think anything about it, thatās just what it was. I had my first soocd spiral in late high school but didnāt have a name for it, just that I was having intrusive thoughts and it was killing me that maybe I was gay. I canāt exactly remember how I got out of that but I continued to have crushes, talking stages, and dated. It went away and that was that I guess. Looking back now I definitely was still avoiding content and certain people, and still had intrusive thoughts but didnāt think I was gay. I guess they were less sticky. Something about me is that Iāve never had a boyfriend and Iām a virgin. Iām very shy and romanticize things like I love the relationships and scenarios I read about or that I see in movies or the thirst traps online haha. So I want that irl but am disappointed when that doesnāt happen. I have a very interactive daydream (started when I was 13 and still continued that fantasy world now too) with a boyfriend, friends, and a prettier version of me. I enjoyed making up scenarios about sex or romance in those daydreams and fantasies, but when it came to real life, I would get shy or scared when things were starting to get serious with men. I thought maybe this was an avoidant attachment style but now Iām not sure. I never considered female fantasies and I still donāt want to right now. I want to test and see which one I like better, but Iām afraid Iāll find that Iām a lesbian and I really donāt want that. Ive always imagined myself with a man but now Iām worried about comphet. Iām really depressed and I canāt tell because yes, I find some women attractive whether itās their makeup, face, body, aesthetic, but I never thought that meant I was attracted to them in a sexual or romantic way until this spiral. Now Iām afraid of masc lesbians and pretty women because it triggers me. But Iām also afraid because I feel like I can look at attractive men, but I donāt feel the same way anymore. I canāt even daydream about them bc then my brain inserts a woman. Iām really scared that Iāve lost myself, because I truly feel like I have, but I donāt want to explore with women, I just want to like men, Iāve always liked that idea. But so many lesbians talk about liking celebrities, fantasy men, or just attractive men. Sorry for the rant but Iām struggling a lot right now. I feel like all my memories, even the ones that directly contradict being a lesbian, can be explained away by comphet, internal homophobia, denial, suppression, etc. When I do try and accept uncertainty, sometimes it feels ok, but then something will trigger me and Iām back at square one. Iām afraid if I take my meds Iāll discover something about myself that I donāt want to because Iāve always been depressed and avoidant of life because it never lives up to my expectations. My sexuality is on my mind 24/7! I canāt take it!
TW! please someone comment When I was 12 or 13 I used to babysit a little girl, she had a habit of keeping her hand in her diaper and was always touching herself, there was one point I was changing her diaper and noticed she was really red. I had separated her private parts and checked the inner area for signs of infection. She was okay, just some really really bad diaper rash. I know this is what happened yet my brain is trying to convince me that I hurt her, and that I wanted to do it, I know I would never hurt a child but with all the anxiety I feel when I think about it I'm starting to wonder if I did do it because I wanted to hurt her, I don't wanna be a p, I don't wanna hurt innocent children, I used to never have these thoughts but now I do and I'm so scared to tell my therapist as she hasn't diagnosed me with ocd yet. I don't want her to think I'm a p nor do I wanna hurt kids, but my brain keeps telling me that I do and that I'm just lying to myself and everyone around me, ik I would never do something that could harm a child but I keep getting these thoughts and their inappropriate and I just want them to stop, does anyone have any tips on how to help myself? I keep turning to my boyfriend for reassurance but ik that that's just a quick fix and that ill be spiraling about it again.Please help
Iām trying to let them pass not engage nothing , trying to compusle but the thoughts wonāt leave. My brain keeps telling me I should stab my dad for not asking if Iām okay after the death of my ex ā¦
In 2023, as I was finally getting sober from harder substances, I found myself in one of the scariest mental spaces I'd ever known. I was still smoking daily, my relationship was rocky, and one nightāit all hit me. It felt like I had slipped into a video game. Nothing felt real⦠or maybe everything felt too real. The world around me was distorted. I had always dealt with anxiety, but this? This was something else. I was spiralingādrenched in guilt over everything I'd ever done, every person I thought I hurt, every wrong I tried to make right all at once. It was suffocating. At 23, I tried checking myself into a mental hospitalāsomething I hadnāt done since I was 17. I was desperate to understand what was happening. My relationship took a hit as I spilled every ounce of guilt I carried to my partner, unable to stop the cycle. It wasnāt just anxiety. It was OCD. And while the diagnosis was terrifying at first, it was also reassuring. I finally had a name for the storm inside me. I wasnāt alone. People I admireālike Jenna Ortegaādeal with this too. Itās not just me. Itās real, itās hard, but itās also something I can face. Since then, Iāve made big changes. I stopped smokingārealizing it only made the noise in my head louder. I started therapy. My partner didnāt understand at first, but as we both learned more about OCD together, we grew stronger. Weāre now engaged, and Iām happier than Iāve ever been. But now itās time to reconnectāwith myself. I want to find the me before everything. The creative, passionate, connected me. I want to start streaming games again and hopefully rebuild the following I lost. I want to connect with people againāI donāt have many friends left, but Iām determined to find my people again. Iām also diving back into my art. Journaling. Sketchingāeven when I donāt like it. Because itās the act of creating that heals, not just the end result. I wonāt let OCD run my life. I will prevail.
I keep wondering if Iām attracted to this kid I saw a week ago or not, it keeps happening, I canāt figure it out, what I hope is false attraction is feeling too real, I donāt wan to like the kid, I never wish to like kids, I genuinely feel like Iām just in doubt, I canāt figure it out, it feels weird, I donāt feel any guilt, shame, disgust, or panic, idk why but ik that Iām supposed to feel that, it makes me feel like Iām a real p. I barley get any negative emotion from those thoughts anymore, even when these thoughts started I didnāt feel shame or guilt, but I think I did feel worry and panic, Iām not sure anymore, I donāt remember.
Im still searching about pure o ocd while I still look for a specialized therapist so that's why I'm asking the following thing lol Is normal to have months and/or years without an ocd episode? I noticed I had a considerable amount of episodes in all my living years but sometimes they took a year or a bit more than a year to appear, in worse scenarios I noticed the took just months to appear once again Is that normal? Im kinda feeling guilty about it because I notice some people live 24/7 with ocd since they are kids while my thing is more like, episodically, not 24/7 since I was born? My last episode started in August of last year and is still haunting me but I know people had it worsened since their earlier years of life
Hello everyone. I have OCD and panic disorder. I take Prozac and Klonopin when needed. Has anyone here who has panic ever awaken from sleep in a panic? It has happened to me twice and I get really upset not understanding why this happens when I first wake. Is this common or not so much?thanks
I have experienced every theme that can be added to post but Iām currently experiencing those. So I am on the spectrum and I happen to have a high sensory profile and it definitely gives the ocd more to latch unto. I would see a pretty female with makeup done and it eatssss and I would notice the facial symmetry + how her features compliment each other and my ocd would be like why did you notice she is pretty, BECAUSE I HAVE EYESš! I canāt be the only neurodivergent person that notices details and how attractive people are intensely? I do not even care about orientation but I know for sure if I was into women, it wonāt just start plaguing me one evening Im my head shouting āyou are gayā like man Im a female at least say you are a lesbian ššššš. How can I genuinely have no interest and get outrightly repulsed by females sexually and romantically. It feels like I am being forced to be something im not. I tried accepting i am lesbian but I experienced more anxiety and could not sleep till I accepted i am still straight and it is ocd playing with me(ocd leave me alone, I donāt even enjoy playing with you) I accepted i am a lesbian like ocd said I should but why do I still love my ex and hope I marry himš + I couldnāt bring myself to be interested in females. OCD leave me alone because I donāt enjoy this game again! Iām not homophobic at all but denouncing Im straight doesnāt feel like home and I still find myself yearning for only men
I have had the same false memory/instrusive image of me doing something horrible to someone when I was 12 and they were younger. It is a memory based on a real event. I truly donāt know if itās real or not but obviously, the more I think about it the more I think itās true. This has led my mind to become slightly paranoid. I worry that if this horrible image in my head is true then one day the person I might have hurt will come and k*ll me. Iām really scared I feel like I wonāt feel better as long as this āmemoryā is in my head. Does anyone have advice?
I went in to a psychiatric hospital 2 days ago for help with OCD and the anxiety relating to it. I did this voluntarily because the anxiety was a lot. I ended up being bunked with drug addicts who talked about violent topics all day and it just made my OCD worse because the staff didn't care at all about anything but the people on drugs. I went in to get help and I feel like I was just treated like a prisoner and none of the people there were knowledgeable of OCD like their website claimed... I just needed to vent. It's been a long 2 days and I'm sick of "professionals" knowing absolutely nothing about OCD and how painful it can be...
I've been told a lot that in order to get better, we need to tolerate uncertainty, which yea I get that and I'm trying every day more and more to reach that point!! But I've also been told that we need to tolerate uncertainty AND "our worst fears becoming true". Like how does that work, especially with POCD, OCD about a///ault, SA and all of that? Like that is really difficult for me and I don't really understand how I'm supposed to just shrug stuff like that off
I feel like Iām going to stop breathing and it makes it seem like an effort just to do it. I just want to be normal again and have my breathing go back to being automatic. Idk how to beat this, Iām constantly worried about it
I never read someone talk about this so I wanted to know if it applies to anyone as well. For context: I deal with ROCD and SOCD but I do identify as straight and am in a (happy) relationship with a man. What often triggers me is memories about childhood and adolescences about having the groinal toward nudity in porn or music videos. Because I canāt deny having watched other things than straight porn and experimenting with porn I simply canāt stop trying to figure out what that might have meant and if i deep down have actually a other sexual orientation than the one that I feel comfortable identifying with. I only hear people talking about random triggers but never the REAL memory of arousal to pornography and so on.
I always feel the most anxiety and dread in the morning. Thatās when I start overthinking a lot, and it becomes really hard not to seek reassurance on the internet and so on. What do you all do to ease the morning anxiety a bit?
Iām trying so hard to feel normal again but i cant i keep feeling like im being dramatic and that my symptoms arenāt real and im tricking everyone, even on here i feel like im tricking you all into believing i have OCD when i donāt. Plus all these other types thoughts im having all meshing together its so overwhelming and i dont know what to do. My therapist appointment isnt until next week and idek what shes gonna tell me or if sheāll even think i have OCD. i keep thinking about my other posts on here and wondering if i even meant what i said in them. this is the worst ive ever felt i think i might even be going through depersonalization or derealization but im not even sure about that i dont even know anything about what im really going through cause ive never been given any kind of formal diagnosis its only ever been depression and social anxiety but ive always had a feeling it was more but i keep doubting myself. maybe if anyone wants to look at some of my other posts and tell me what u think in general? or would that be reassurance seeking? i feel like most of my posts might be but im not sure.. IM NOT SURE ABOUT ANYTHING! this is so annoying
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