Welcome to
the NOCD Community

How have you all seen caffeine or your level of stimulation impact your ocd? For myself I’ve noticed in general that caffeine reduces my ocd symptoms, but if I take in more than 70 mg at a time I feel anxious and jittery. I’ve also noticed that combining caffeine or stimulation, and a calming exercise at the same time reduces my ocd symptoms a lot while minimizing the anxiety. 2 of these activities for me are what I call 1) sword & Metal and 2) walking while doing mindfulness or breathing simultaneously. Sword and metal is a thing I started doing that stacks lots of skills on top of each other. I wield a sword while blasting heavy metal and stand up really tall and focus on breath and meditation. Sometimes it almost feels like different parts of my brain are going at different speeds when I experience OCD symptoms. Then I remembered that with ADHD different parts of the brain are actually going at different speeds. The frontal cortex is going slower namely. With the experiences I shared above and remembering the brain speed thing, I looked into if it’s a thing for OCD and apparently there’s research around it too, with different parts of the brain of course. Apparently, transcranial stimulation used to be used to address OCD. Anyhow, so my hypothesis based on all this is that if you can speed up the decision making centers of your brain while also calming your nervous system you can rebalance this inconsistent speed issue. Of course ERP is amazing, and I’m not bringing this up as a thought of comparison or replacement. It’s just a guess too. What do yall think?

I feel like whenever I'm at church I'm not doing good enough or my praying isn't enough. I'm also disabled and half the time am unable to stand for long periods of time. My ocd keeps telling me that I'm not worshiping good enough because I'm sitting down or because I can't sing that hymn. It makes me feel so alone when I'm at church like god doesn't love me because I am not worshiping correctly.

does anyone else struggle with limerence? I honestly cannot tell if i’m obsessed with this person in like an ocd way or in a limerence way. Or it could even be just a crush. I have no idea and this has been plaguing me for the past two years.

obviously, not over here actually looking for a genuine answer lol. but ik they go together alot im autistic and have had compulsions my entire life. like its just an everyday part of my existence since … middle? ish school. so 10 years. tho looking into it i dont think its just autism, and my therapist told me she suspects OCD but i wanna get fully tested before slapping a label on it (again. like already got CPTSD BPD MDD and GAD) does any one here also have the tism and ocd and tips on how they happen to juggle the two? not asking professional advice lol. just some solidarity. i’m a lesbian and i think i may have SO-OCD which is so annoying

What are mistakes? I have a set of values. My speech or actions contradict those values. I feel deep remorse and disappointment in myself afterwards. Logically, it would make sense to truly feel the remorse, let it impact you, and say, “I wish I didn’t do that. I wish it didn’t happen. Not because it would relieve the guilt I feel now, but because it was genuinely wrong.” Where people go wrong is forgetting the “I”. After stating this, they’ll go back to feeling that remorse, and beat themselves up because they identify with the version of them that’s actively making the mistake. But the very fact those sentences exist from the mouth of that person shows that who they are in this moment isn’t who they were then. The “I” in the statement. Who is that referring to? Certainly not the person before the mistake. If it was, the mistake wouldn’t have happened. So, if you’re now someone else, that wouldn’t do those things, why are you putting yourself down as if you’re still that person? Are those “I”s in the statement nobody? But maybe you knew it was wrong when you were doing it! If you knew the extent to which it was actually harmful, you still wouldn’t have done it. You had the knowledge of it being wrong, but there wasn’t emotion involved. Remorse associates feeling with that knowledge. You begin to feel empathetic for whoever you harmed. This empathy, when felt healthily, and not ignored- is a tool. It’s so that next time you’re in that situation you can feel the effect you’ll have on the person and not do it. Empathy creates the opportunity for you to learn and become more emotionally intelligent, sensitive, and moral. I’ve used this tool all wrong. Feeling bad for what you’ve done is an opportunity. It allows you to grow and become more empathetic. It allows you to change who you are by saying “I…” Imagine if you didn’t feel remorse. How would you ever learn? That would be worse. Thank God for remorse Remorse should be used wisely. To allow for genuine moments of growth, to come back when placed in the same situation again. When the lesson is learnt, remorse has served its purpose. Any further berating serves no positive cause. It can only be used as an excuse. “I’m so bad, there’s no hope for me to be good”. I learnt this idea from Rabbi Akiva T. Maybe there’s a chemical imbalance which causes you to ruminate on your mistakes. Whatever it is, guilt is not meant to be a punishment. It’s a tool. When you regret what you’ve done, you literally become a different person. The you that understands what you understand now simply wouldn’t have made that mistake. Tests are your desire to do something v.s your knowledge that it’s wrong. Remorse allows you to empower the latter for future situations. Sometimes we cling to self deprecation. That's all we know. You can’t just rip it out. It’ll show itself from time to time. Just know that’s a force of habit. Your true essence is still good. The truths are still true. You’re. Not. A. Bad. Person. All I know is that the “me” right now does the right thing. Don’t let remorse hold you back from changing the world. Use it like the tool it is, then let it go. If it comes back, wave at it. Smile. “You helped me, you’ve served your purpose.” Don’t let the growth go unused. Don’t let it be for nothing. Use the new, sensitive you to bring good to those around you. Don’t let the remorse hold back the good that came from it. You’re free. You’re weightless. You can change the world for the better. So do it :)

I'm pretty sure I have POCD but don't have access to a therapist, so I'm struggling on my own. From the moment it started, it's been in my head 24/7, and I'm not exaggerating. I'm not thinking about something specific, but the theme is just there, ALWAYS and I don't know how to make it leave. It's literally there no matter what, the moment I wake up I think about it and it stays until I go to sleep.

So i didnt post for sometime cause ive been going through a lot so im 16 and im a girl still figuring out my sexuality, anyway my worst ocd theme is POCD and i developed it after i started watching porn and it made me look at people woman especially in a sexual way which i hate cause i feel awful and even before when i was 14 until now i was exposed to a lot of those dark stuff and i read a lot of them, anyway POCD i keep looking at people sexually especially when its girl and then after i saw like when thise crime stories pop up on my tiktok like people catching pdf files and im like imagining what they feel towards their victims or like them explaing what they feel and me like yk when i look at someone i feel that immediately but i cant figure out what it is cause i keep looking at them in that way but not like when i see them immediately but more when i think about it and i just i dunno like especially how porn made me sexualized everything so i wanted to stop and i just feel awful, but what i find funny was before i developed pocd after i first found out about i laughed and i was like oh i dont have that deffibtly so i dont have to worry about it and now im just like

Thinking of getting a diagnosis/diagnostic assessment through NOCD, but I’m quite worried/afraid about getting misdiagnosed or calling with someone who’s like not qualified or knowledgeable enough to diagnose. On Reddit it seems that people experiences depend on which NOCD therapist they get assigned with or something, but the diagnostic assessment will be the same no matter the therapist right? Like the questions they ask and stuff? And is it an officially diagnosis? Any advice?

Hi, I'm new here, I'm about to go into my second year of college, and I've been reflecting quite a bit on my relationships over the summer. I get these really loud intrusive thoughts all the time that I'm exploiting my friends/partner and that if I don't mask my "true intentions" they will abandon me. I feel like I never do enough for them and when I do try I just end up messing up or just making the situation worse. I just want to know if anyone else experiences this? If so, any advice? I'm thinking about seeking advice from my psychiatrist and psychologist about more thoughts I will not get into on here. Thanks!

OCD has done a lot of damage in my life. It made my high school experience miserable, it made things rough for my freshman year of college and it negatively affected my first relationship recently. I have gotten better with finding better copping mechanisms and I thought I had everything handled entering my first relationship in February. However after a month in, I kept overthinking stuff. I kept having “what if’s” pop into my head and I would try to fight it but it didn’t make things better. I kept worrying about stuff with my ex, even overthinking her bad days when she was more reserved. I went to her friends for advice on handling things and trying to understand her. I have talked to her about my OCD and she was supportive of me and understanding. I just didn’t want to annoy her when she was dealing with a lot her freshman year of college. I knew her friends wanted the best for us and became closer to me, but in the times I was panicked, I over shared stuff about our relationship. My ex found out about it over the summer. I told her months prior that I’ve gone to her friends once before just for advice on things and she had no issues with that. Regardless, I handled things poorly even with good intentions. I went to her friends for advice a good few times and the reassurance didn’t make things better. It was like a drug that helped me in the moment. Communication issues caused things to go downhill with my ex and I and it sucks. I kept feeling like I had to be perfect for her and I can’t make a single mistake or she would end things, but she loved me for everything I am, even my flaws. I just put so much pressure on myself. We both hope to be with each other in the future and know we can come back together stronger. I just feel guilt and shame for my mistakes and I don’t want to make them again and feel better about being with her. She didn’t do anything to make me feel pressure. She’s a very no bs type of person as her first relationship didn’t go well as she was badly mistreated.

“TEACH YOUR CHILDREN SCRIPTURES EARLY AND THEY WILL BE ABLE TO ACCESS ARMOR THEY DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY HAD.” For me, I am always blessed and HIGHLY FAVORED. You don't have to be a strong religious Bible thumper to understand. You don't have to believe in someone's GOD. Just believe in something greater then you. So, what does this mean for you. There is not perfectly right or wrong answer. Grounded

I met my current boyfriend after ending things with my ex a month earlier. By coincidence, my current boyfriend and I had a class together, we became friends, and of course I started liking him. By May 2021, two months later, my feelings for him grew stronger and stronger. At that time, I wasn’t really going through a depression over my ex. In fact, little by little, we had stopped talking since January 2021, and by the end of March I told him I needed my personal space because I was dealing with another type of OCD. Looking back, during all that time I was open to getting to know this new guy (my current boyfriend). Finally, in July everything was going well between us, and we decided to stop giving each other space. Meanwhile, my ex was stalking me on social media. I was very happy to be getting to know my boyfriend at that time. In August, we had our first kiss and then, as I mentioned earlier, we stopped dating for a while. In September, we ended things, which hurt me a lot, but in November we tried again. During all that time, I didn’t have OCD. Later, in January, when my boyfriend and I made our relationship official, the doubts started: “Am I still in love with my ex?” “Am I using my boyfriend to forget my ex?” “Am I really over my ex?” The memories, physical sensations, all of that. So, my question is: does OCD with thoughts about an ex only happen to people who just broke up and are still grieving, or can it also show up later on, even if you’re already in a new relationship? I ask this because I’m afraid I might not have gotten over my ex and that these intrusive thoughts mean something else, since I’ve read that some people develop OCD right after a breakup and get stuck there. But in my case, I just moved on, and then the intrusive thoughts showed up later.

Really struggling with my ROCD lately. I see anyone attractive and it immediately triggers doubt thoughts. Idk if this ever ends or you just learn to deal with it?

What is it about getting a groinal réaction, feeling like you are into it with the not-prefered gender and not getting any with you partner and prefered gender? As i am not fzeling anxiety it really confuses me like do i want to have a girl not a boy

My 12 year old granddaughter was diagnosed with OCD. How can we best support her?

I was looking at adult pictures and I had a small groinal response to a really triggering picture of a man and it’s making my sexual orientation OCD go into hyper mode, idk why I do this shit to myself I keep acting on compulsions that just make things worse

Does anyone else have posted here and than delete they post more then once because no one pay attention. And it makes you feel like people don’t react on the post because it’s to bad and they think it might be true and I am what the feelings and thoughts saying?

I keep asking questions about ERP because I'm trying to convince myself that it will actually work for R/E OCD. In one of the NOCD youtube videos, the analogy was "well people live with uncertainty all the time - they keep driving a car even if it can crash" etc. Yes, but driving a car is an uncertainty that people accept because it doesn't directly correlate to their IDENTITY, CHARACTER, and INTEGRITY. So to me that's an apples and oranges comparison. So yes I believe ERP can work (or I've heard) BUT can it work in the "right way" going forward. What I mean by that is do you come out of it 1) not having to accept a dogma / delusion? 2) do you keep your integrity and identity in tact or have to lie to yourself to move on from the real event? 3) is it TRUE peace of mind or just delusion? If it's not, if I have to sacrifice my integrity and identity to move on, to me that's not a genuine and sustainable solution it's just a bandaid. I hope someone who's done ERP can convince me otherwise because it'd be nice to move on from OCD

We’ve had a rocky period recently while he was off on a trip bc my ROCD flared up really bad. I can’t shake this awful feeling we’re on an inevitable decline, esp bc I’m unemployed and still in driving school and feel really useless in life and have nothing to contribute. I had an awful nightmare just now that he broke up w me and called my bf in tears and he seemed somewhat annoyed (granted it was 6am in the morning) when I was hoping for reassurance (yes i know bad but I wanted him to at least say it’s not real! 😂). I can’t help but take his irritation as confirmation of the inevitable. The dream felt SO REAL. Scared it had meaning.

Hi. This is my first post here and it was recommended by my therapist to join and speak about this to get help and advice from others on top of therapy. For context sake, we are a wlw couple, I was raised in a purity doomsday cult, and I have been diagnosed with OCD since I was 14 and PTSD since I was 24. For about 4ish weeks now, I have been having horrible intrusive thoughts, daydreams, nightmares, and night terrors about my gf sleeping with or doing other sexual things with her exes. I just can't get it out of my head and it is breaking me. It feels like it was timed out of hell itself, because while I have been fighting this literally 3 of her exes have tried to contact her or get back with her. She tells me, without me asking at all, each time it happens so that way she doesnt feel like she isn't communicating about these things and to help my insecurities (I know I have them, I struggle with them often but don't use them as an excuse for anything). I know we are rock solid, we have been since we got together as we have been friends for 7 years before starting dating. But thats made this even harder. I know her exes, I met 3 of them and shook hands with one of them. I know the stories, I know the times she did things and "kiss and told" to me cause I was her bff. I know when she hooked up with people on dates. And all of that has exasperated this issue in me. It doesn't help that my last relationship (a marriage) ended cause of getting cheated on by my exwife with someone who I thought was a friend. So I keep getting thoughts along with these daydreams and nightmares like "does she really love me more than any ex that could try to contact her", "am I just a placeholder?", or "is it gonna happen again?" and things of that nature. Mind you, we are moving in together next year, so I know that those things arent true yet they still berate my head with scared paranoia. I will be minding my own business and then next thing you know my mind throws an image at me of her underneath one of the exes I know about or have met. It destroys me. I have broke down crying several times from it. It also gets worsened when she gets flirty comments on her tiktok. I just feel like I cant take any more. I am not sleeping, cant rest when I am awake, and feel like I cant even lean in and get comfort from the relationship without these thoughts flooding in and crushing me. She has been amazing through this and tries to help in any way she can, but idek where to start to handle this. Next week me and my therapist are gonna dig deeper into where this may be coming from (outside of OCD) and I hope we get answers through that. I just can't keep feeling like something that happened in the past and that I never witnessed is causing a rift between us emotionally, and will definitely affect the relationship even harder if I dont get this under control. Im so tired, I just want my peace of mind back. I just want to not think about the past and instead think about us. But it is like I am being haunted by her exes and other people wanting to get with her. Almost as if I am wondering just who its gonna take to approach her before I become the afterthought. I just want my happiness with my gf back. Thank you for reading this, I am not doing well and just needed to get this out there to both vent, cry, and get support.