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Feeling so lonely and lost. Is this anything like what can happen in pocd? I’m a teacher and I was with pre-teen student. I got that thought to think something even worse than my previous obsession to get rid of my anxiety. So I focused the features that I liked with that boy and found him somehow attractive and whats came to my head was ”I could do something with that boy”. I wasn’t even anxious in that moment. After half year I remembered this and freaked out. I really don’t know what I felt in that situation. I just feel I made my self attracted to that boy and can’t tell if I literally thought that I could do something. In worst days I’m scared that I acted somehow even though i don’t know how.

Ok so i was thinking about a past bad real event i had and it’s something im not proud of but then my mind seems to be making up random details to make the situation worse than it was and i can’t even tell whats real anymore. Has anyone had the same thing?

(I do not expect any diagnosis, but I just want to know if this is abnormal or if this is just a weird but fairly normal thing) I've been having odd symptoms for years, and really drastic mood switches to where I just brushed off aside for a long time but recently it's just been a bit too much for me. (And it isn't just being happy for a day then next day I'm sad) and it also affects my OCD symptoms as well . For example, one day I'm really in a good mood, I am extremely hopeful for myself and future and I am really well at finishing my tasks and I work towards my goals. I spend time on my hobbies and interests. And etc. (Aka this is usually my overall self/where I feel most normal) but then sometimes it elevates a bit and I also begin to feel extremely euphoric and important, my confidence is over the top, I feel almost unstoppable. (OCD and my dark intrusive thoughts/compulsions are poking at me at times still, but I fall for it less. But now that I'm happy, Health OCD hits me hard at times and I start to worry about my own health and scared if I'll die when I feel like I have so much left to accomplish and do.) Then the next I could either be extremely impulsive and I start doing whatever comes to mind, sometimes I end up regretting it later on and it doesn't help with my OCD at all. I feel like my thoughts are so quick and it gives me headaches, I start feeling really restless and like I can't do anything else. (My intrusive thoughts/compulsions elevate EXTREMELY and I start doing nonstop compulsions and I start panicking and feeling like my life is over, this is where I usually start having major urges on confessions over the smallest things.) And then not even an hour later sometimes, I suddenly stop and now I'm extremely numb and quiet- I don't talk to anyone and become nonverbal. I avoid everyone and everything. Even the TINIEST inconvenience could drive me into becoming extremely depressed and start insulting myself and I become to cynical towards everything. I start lashing out on everything and feel like the worst person ever. I start to say things like "I should give up why bother.", "I'm a failure", etc. Or I just feel extremely guilty and I feel like a major burden to everyone I love, I start seeing myself in an awful light and my goals fade. I dissociate a lot during these moods. (My intrusive thoughts become more dark and my compulsions take up more energy, I start worrying whether if this is permanent and if I'm an awful person. harm OCD becomes extra strong here and it sucks.) (Luckily, I have some self-awareness to at least let out my emotions when I'm alone, so I don't upset someone else. I also mask all of these emotions during school and normally only at that place. OCD still stays at the back of my head, and my mood is always just meh since I just don't like being in classes. But that also worries me into thinking "what if I'm just a liar ?") Sometimes I can feel one way for weeks and it suddenly switches to another, then it switches through every few days, sometimes I can go from the happy/manic to extremely despressed and hopeless in only a span of a few hours. It makes me feel really uncomfortable, also since I can have 10 fully different OCD themes play out depending on how I'm feeling : ( this also leads to me ruminating and worrying about myself and identity And it still affects my OCD symptoms, these mood swings triggers my mind to start having intrusive thoughts such as "Your impulsiveness only affects you right now, but one day it will lead you into doing something extremely horrible", "You are a monster", "You don't have OCD, you're just a mess", etc. I start freaking out worrying that's true or that I don't have OCD at all and I was just lying to myself all my life . So my overall question is does anyone else with OCD feel this way ? Or is this something I should look more into . Again, I know I can't have an overall diagnosis, (although I wish I could .) but I'm only looking for some insight "<:^)

We know OCD GETS WEIRD! Be okay with people noticing you looking at them because of what’s going on in your head. Or a sensation in your body which you believe doesn’t belong. View them all the same; it’s a symptom! Don’t prove it wrong by reminding yourself in your head. Tell it it’s wrong by going on about your day day by day as if nothing is happening.. ☮️❤️

TW MENTION OF MEDICATION AND INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT IT. Hi everyone. So basically as the title says, I’m scared of taking medication. I’ve been prescribed 10mg of fluoxetine (Prozac) and I’m just scared of taking it. Well any medication to be exact but this is the one I need to take. I’ve been on it before and it worked wonders for me even before my ocd got bad but I went off it about 3 years ago and since then it’s been pretty bad. I first was prescribed fluoxetine at 11 years old and switched around a few times since but I always came back to fluoxetine. Since then I have taken genesite testing which said fluoxetine is my perfect match. Even with all that I’m still scared. Maybe it’s because I did try it again January of 2024 but one night I was struggling to sleep on day 3 and it felt like I stopped breathing when I was half asleep half awake but that has happened since and it was like a half asleep half awake thing where I was breathing just it slowed to sleep Yk. so I stopped taking it immediately and I’ve been scared to since and since then I’ve been scared it taking all medication even tums or Tylenol. A few new reasons came along as well. Here’s the reasons with my logical side featured so you understand my thought process, What if I’m suddenly allergic? Super unlikely but still a fear. What if it’s drugged/poisoned? Super unlikely again. As far as I know it’s never happened with medication you get from a pharmacy. What if the side effects make me really bad again? This one I have no come back for tbh. What if they don’t help? That’s literally what they’re made for. They can always up my dose or change medication. What if it takes me years of struggle to find the perfect medication? Yet again no come back. What if it doesn’t help my ocd at all? ITS WHAT ITS MADE FOR. What if it makes my ears ring worse? I have ear ringing currently and had it one other time and that guy went away but this one isn’t for some odd reason but it’s only been 3 weeks and I think it’s because of the tubes swelling because of the weather. But I did read about it one time making peoples ringing worse so that scares me. So there’s my reasons. Some illogical some with some research I would know the actual facts. Thankfully I’ve gotten to a point where I can touch the medication without freaking out. Mainly because my husband got prescribed the same exact thing and he graciously allows me to hand it to him everyday so I can get comfortable with touching it. I’m just looking for some advice on how to work through this and get to where I can take my medication.

I read these stories and they tend to be about younger men and older women, however some of them trigger me cause they imply the character is much younger. I always try and see if I can justify a way it isn’t that, but then I see it’s just gross and I stop reading it. But I keep doing this cycle. I feel like I’m just denying I’m a creep. And if I am one, I need to tell my partner so they know I’m a bad person. Please help.

Was on deviantart looking at a story. Story said teenager and it grossed me out. I knew I’d see something triggering on the site and spiral. Why do I do this to myself?

When I think about traumatic things that happened to me as a child or weird, disturbing acts that I did as a child due to trauma and being hypersexual, it gives me sensations down there. Which then leads to a compulsion of me testing myself mentally down there which makes the sensation stronger. It can reach a climax if I continue the test and compulsion, which is weird because I do not even touch myself it’s like a mental thing. I would never want these things to happen to me again and for the acts that I did, I would never want to do them again. I just feel weird and gross right now, and I feel like I am a bad person or like there is a risk of me doing weird things again. Also, in the moment when these triggers or compulsions are happening, my brain and body have a sense of rejection and discuss towards it, but also a curiosity to finish the compulsion or continue ruminating about it. I do not watch any negative or inappropriate material or watch anything of that nature to be honest . I feel very upset with myself as I’ve been doing OK with my OCD and trauma but it’s just recently gotten bad today. I think it might be because I’m on my period.

I am having a really hard day. I am so overwhelmed about so many things. I lost an earring and can’t find it. It is stuck on my mind. About a month ago my boyfriend broke up with me and the weekends are so hard. That was my first relationship and I miss him dearly. I have no friends to support me and my Mom is tried of me being sad. I also have a math exam Tuesday and need to review a ton. It feels like I have so much to do and so little time. I just want to hangout with a friend/ my ex boyfriend. I feel very depressed and anxious.

Has anyone ever dealt with relationship ocd and feeling guilty for not sharing every thought and feeling with your spouse that feels it was unfaithful? Mine is stemming back to an old memory of when we were just dating and had broken up. A friend of my sisters was childishly flirting with me and I felt like I secretly liked the attention. Kept thinking what if something else had happened and what if he did stay at my house one night but he never did. It just makes me feel extreme guilty for even thinking and feeling these things of even being partial to that idea at that time I was broken up and going through that small rough area. I feel like I am keeping something from my husband since I never told him this. I just wish I could move on from this. I don’t know why I feel like everything in my life needs to be known to him. Why do I feel so guilty. I hate it!

Some background, I have religious OCD or scrupulosity and after sinning my compulsion is to repeatedly ask God for forgiveness but the Bible warns against praying in vain repetitions in Matthew 6:7 and I’m afraid I’m sinning upon having already sinned because I know God hears my first prayer but I have a compulsion to repeat it multiple times usually 4 times 4 and if I don’t do it I can’t move on to something else and it is extremely distressing I don’t want to be sinning on top of confessing my prior sin what should I do guys?

Hi! I’m a 28 year old mom with a toddler. My OCD had been under control until I stopped taking hormonal birth control about a month ago. Since then, I have felt awful. My Harm OCD is in full swing attacking the ones I love, on top of it, I believe I’m experiencing “Post Birth Control Syndrome.” Even the Celexa & Buspirone I’ve been on for 12 years barely helps with this sort of depression/anxiety. I’ve started NOCD therapy again & had my Buspirone upped. I’m hesitant to make anymore medication changes right now. I’m basically posting this because I haven’t seen a lot of Mom’s (specifically ones with the harm theme) posting about their story. I’m also curious if anyone else with OCD has experienced “Post Birth Control Syndrome?” I’m strapped in for a re-recovery. Looking for some like minded friends! 💕

Have a date next week with a girl I met off of tinder. She seems really sweet and I could see it developing into something more. I just feel like every time I know someone’s attracted to me I can’t help but wonder if I’m actually attracted to them or if I’m just faking it because I like to be loved. Like spiral-licious amounts. It seems like every time I have a new romantic interest this is the pattern: surface level interest, get to know them more, pro and con list #1, am I attracted to them REALLY or am I just a narcissist in disguise and will break their heart by bread crumbing them while trying to figure out if attracted and then ultimately leaving, pro and con list #2, hang in there, THEN LIMERANCE!!! Does anyone else feel this way? Any tips or insights?

After one year and 11 months (almost 2) I did it I made it and touched the gym. Wow I felt my heart race a bit as I was walking around the corner but I pushed through and even though I wasn’t there for long that was big for me to at least try a few weights and deal with the raising of heart rate I did it!! And I walked home 🥹😆

I got supper triggered righ now because I was talking to my fiance about SOOCD and wht it feels like it is or it not and at one point I felt like all the signs were pointing towards the fact that im just in denial since 15 years and I got anxious and just wanted to leave/stop everything (aka the relationship) and I felt kind of relieved at the thought of that and the spiral started all over again like “ if you’re relieved that means that you want to leave him and be with a women”. We were talking about romantic attraction and physical attraction and I was saying how sometimes when I look at him I dont have the desire to touch him but if I see a picture of a naked women or just an underboob I just feel something strong down there… he told me even if its the case we’re been together for 8 years and I would know if you were truly faking it… and my thoughts are like “would he?” “Maybe im just a great actress and I’ll snap one day soon” . Idk if anyone relates!

So I feel like a horrible wife and I’ll explain why. Last night, my husband and I went out to eat with some friends and he drank more than usual (nothing wrong with that) but he was being extra loud and obnoxious in my opinion than normal so I was getting kind of aggravated with him but I always try to just let him have his fun and not be a Debbie downer because he works so hard and he deserves to let loose. So I didn’t make it known I was aggravated but I was getting annoyed with him. When we got home, he tried to initiate sex with me and I said “I’m not really in the mood.” He looked shattered. And I immediately regretted saying that. He wasn’t mad, just hurt as I have never said anything like that or rejected him. So in turn, I am now shattered knowing that I hurt him and made him feel unwanted. I HATE myself for making him feel that way, especially because I have voiced that I would hate to feel rejected by him which is partially why I don’t ever initiate. And he called me out (rightfully so) about it being hypocritical that the reason I don’t initiate is because of my fear of rejection and now I just did that to him. He’s absolutely right. Where I am struggling today is just feeling like I am the absolute worst person ever and my rumination is stuck on he deserves better than me, because I fully believe he does. But this is causing self doubt and all the things that come along with rumination. This is not my typical OCD thought but now even talking to him I feel like I’ve crushed him and I’m disgusted with myself if I’m being honest. And he has told me that he’s fine and he’s just happy that I heard him out on his frustrations and apologized. He was over it about 20 minutes after it happened but here I am still stuck and I can’t stop crying. Idk what to do. Just hoping for any advice on how to get out of my own way here.

is it possible to do erp therapy alone? without therapist help i mean

If my partner is remotely unattractive to me, it just causes me to ruminate so much. I wish it would calm down. It's hard to know if this is a valid attraction issue or not. I hate to use OCD as a crutch but I feel like both could be true. Which is tough

I have a love hate relationship with social media bc men are reaching out to me and flirting and I can never tell what’s j friendly and what’s flirting but I technically have a bf and a man im in love with that’s my baby and I love him so much and I feel so guilty for the fact that they are even reaching out and I’m enjoying the attention/think they’re attractive . I value loyalty so I don’t know why it is so hard for me to settle with him I love him so much like no one could ever understand. What if I just can’t accept that he was meant to be temporary and I’ve outgrown this connection :(