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I can’t even function during the day that night replays in my head. I am having trouble eating :/

Hi everyone I am wondering if anyone else experiences this? I feel like I have conversations in my head all the time. If I am not actively having a conversation with someone I am almost daydreaming about having conversations. It’s almost like instead of having internal dialogue about my obsessions I am imagining myself talking about my obsessions with someone else? The daydreams in and of themselves are obsessions I think lol! Is this a “mental compulsion”? If it is I do it all the time and don’t know how to stop lol.

Valentine's Day can be hard, whether you're in a relationship or not. A day that's all about love and togetherness can sometimes amplify feelings of loneliness, sadness, or grief. If you’re feeling this way (today or any day), here are a few things to remember. 1. You are worthy of love, exactly as you are. Your worth isn’t defined by your relationship status—and whether you’re single or partnered, the way that your Valentine’s Day goes doesn’t measure your worth or how loved you are. 2. Love comes in many forms. Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be all about romantic love. You can also celebrate the love you have for friends, family members, pets, and anyone else who brings joy into your life. 3. Your relationship with yourself is important, too. Try to make time for something that brings you joy today, whether it’s a special meal, a long nap, or a rom-com marathon. 4. Social media tends to only show the highlights. Valentine’s Day can come with a lot of pressure. Social media can add fuel to the fire with endless opportunities to compare ourselves and our relationships to others. Remember that there is no “perfect” relationship; everyone’s experience is unique. 5. There’s no shame in needing help. This day can bring up strong emotions for anyone. OCD can make those feelings even more intense. If you feel overwhelmed, working with an OCD specialist can help you navigate your feelings and equip you with the tools you need to manage difficult emotions.

Afraid I’m lukewarm again and complacent and feel like I don’t spend enough time with the Lord or when I repent I feel like I just say and and keep acting the same way. I love to be silly and laugh and stuff but feels like wrong. I don’t want to cherry pick but how do I know if I am or not I believe in him and his sacrifice I’m just scared when I die I’m gonna be a fraud and that I’m not a true disciple cuz I’m not bold in my faith or talk about it much but try to represent Christ wherever I go in public but my inward things I struggle with make me fake and evil and don’t feel like I’m being truly transformed and still struggle with so much

Yesterday I got high ( by weed ), it was really fun and I felt like I had peace of mind. When I woke up this morning I was afraid, afraid that what if I did something horrible and then forgot about it, because I was under the influence. I am currently in a cottage with some of my vest friends, but I am in a state of so much panic and anxiety. I am afraid that my friends are withholding information about the night, and that they now think I am a terrible and dangerous human being. I don’t know what to do. Does anyone have any advise on how to deal with ocd in relation to getting high, and the aftermath of that.

i have many chronic health issues, the foremost being dysautonomia (dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system), the cause of which is still unknown. i experience drastically varying levels of nausea, dizziness, fatigue, headaches, etc every day, and having such an unpredictable condition that's also unidentified really aggravates my ocd. any time i have a symptom i haven't had in a while, or a new combo of symptoms, or i'm on a new medication (like right now) my brain immediately goes into overdrive. i'm hyperaware of what's going on in my body and desperately trying to figure out what's causing it, whether anything is different, and of course googling obsessively, even if i've googled it many times before. it just sucks. plus all the bullshit of having to deal with the healthcare system and insurance makes me anxious and enraged. i get caught in thought spirals about this as well. if anyone can relate please share. it's rough out here. 🤕

Part of me feels embarrassed to post about this, but if you’ve seen a bit of my other posts you already know my home life isn’t too good. My dad is abusive and a very disgusting person who does not even deserve to be called a father. As much as I love my mom and we’ve gotten much closer, it would be a joke to say my mom isn’t neglectful, and our home is in very bad shape as I’ve stated before. One of the things neglected in this house is privacy, as during a fight my parents had broke down the bathroom door, and have yet to fix it. This was months ago mind you, maybe even going on a year. We still have no bathroom door and there’s only a blanket covering it, and even though I’ve told my mom multiple times how uncomfortable it makes me, nothing seems to get done about it. Originally she said she was going to get it fixed, but now she repeats “we’re getting out of this” (assuming she means moving away and divorcing my father which has been the plan for sometime) part of this makes me feel so angry with her, because while yes I absolutely despise my dad, the houses condition is primarily my moms fault, and she takes no responsibility for it. I won’t say the door was entirely her fault it was more of a 50/50 thing, but the rest of the house minus the holes from my dad punching the walls, IS her fault. As I said previously, me and her have gotten much closer with the reason advents that have happened, but it still bothers me very badly. Is this unreasonable?

I am afraid to take OCD meds since some of them are the same that's being used to control bipolar and schizophrenia and since there's a genetic component I'm scared that if I take these meds I will get bipolar or schizophrenia or at least get worse also some of the side effects are intolerable so what do u think am I overreacting what was and what is Ur experience with OCD meds

Can your OCD make you think of some terrible outcome, and the only way to make the outcome not happen and replace it with a good ending is to do this other thing instead? Only for that other thing to not be helpful or worse even? Like you did this one thing to not have something terrible happen because your OCD made you think so, only for the thing your OCD made you think was good, actually wasn't good for anyone?

I think I just went through a little moment that triggered me. I was at the beach with my family. My sister and brother in law are in town from a state that just had snow. My mother was working from home today so she came to the beach too. I’m unemployed so I also went. I go there at 12:30pm, mom was there and my sister & brother in law were there but went for a walk. I walked with my mom and swam in the ocean too. After a while around 1:30/1:45 my sister and brother in law come back. We’re all hungry so my mom sends them to get sandwiches for us. This is around 2pm. My mom was on a work call and I was alone. I use to be a lifeguard at the beach so I felt that they were watching me and judging me even though they probably weren’t. I thought maybe they are judging me for not being at work right now. For being at the beach on a Thursday instead of working. That I’m privileged or why am I not doing something better with my life. I think it was my own internal critic and my brain convinced they were really judging me. I couldn’t bear to be alone at the beach while waiting for my sister to come. I thought I should be doing something more productive with my life. It’s makes me upset because I know that I won’t always have the opportunity to be with my family all the time and I can’t even enjoy it without criticizing myself for not working. I know I will work in the future. Hopefully doing something I love. But I’m in a transition phase right now. The post college into adulthood phase. The figuring life out phase. It doesn’t help that I feel extra judged by my brother in law. Yesterday he said “so what do you do all day? Are you working? It’s good to be busy.” So being at the beach with him doesn’t exactly feel relaxing. Even though I just want to spend time with my sister since she moved states. I decided to get up and leave. I instantly started questioning myself. Why am I leaving? Should I go back? No I if I go back now I’ll look crazy. These episodes of going back and forth. Of not being able to go all the way with one decision are frequent for me. They make me cry because it’s like I can’t think for myself. I thought I should go home and do something productive but at the same time my family is at the beach and I want to be with them right now. But if I go back I’ll look crazy and they’ll ask me why I left. I didn’t go back but I want to.

Having panic attack I know I’m not choking because I can talk and it’s been 20 minutes but I feel like I can’t breathe and I’m alone and I’m so scared to be alone

18+ THIS SITUATION HAPPENED 4-5 YEARS AGO UPDATE: This is my first post of the day so please take that context in mind... I'm genuinely feel so triggered and anxious... I'm gonna go to sleep right now, but I genuinely dont think I'll be able to ever be able to look my friends and family in the eye if this is true... ive been holding in the compulsions today all day... but right now its genuinely terrifying me... i have a girlfriend now (over 2 months) and i dont want to lose her... she's kind, and lovely, and the one I wanna marry one day... but then I look at myself... and my past... and I genuinely don't think I deserve her... Oh dear god... I dont know... but I think my worst fears came true... I think I unknowingly ERP'ed with a minor on an 18+ discord server 5 years ago... they currently are on Astralspiff's discord, having been there since 2023, and have switched their username, with a chicken emoji as their bio... they also switched their profile picture from Nana Osaki to a fan art of Kasame Teto... its making me think that these three things are certainties that she was a minor on the 18+ sexual server... and that I ERP'ed with her not knowing this... Im genuinely feeling shocked and sick to my stomach right now... they don't have their age listed on discord or anything, but they joined 5 years ago and it was 4 years ago that we ERP'ed... god I feel disgusted and horrified right now... someone talk to me... please.... in the past, I have been catfished by a man pretending to be a woman, had a minor on a dating app who lied about her age and i unknowingly flirted with her because I assumed she was 18+ and her bio said so, and sent an 18+ pic to a "woman" online who now I suspect of being a catfish... this is the reason why I'm so scared of whether or not I unknowingly inappropriately chatted with a minor without knowing... it genuinely scares me... Its making me think that I unknowingly inappropriately chatted with a minor in the past without knowing and it genuinely triggers me... I have tried to go back through most 18+ online interactions ive had with women online to make sure they didnt lie or they confirmed their age... i have two situations on discord that trigger me that ive posted about in the past... and a couple have deleted their discords so thats triggering me really bad... most who deleted their discords were verified but still... why delete your discord, you know...? for context i was on 18+ explicit discord servers meant for sex that you cant just join regularly on iPhone due to it being for adults only... Ive also been to a website dedicated to adult 18+ literature... they also have an 18+ chat room where you can talk to other users... i know ive made stupid mistakes going on here... i wont deny that... and now im paying for it with the uncertainty... veterans of the site, who have been on there for over 9 years, have told me that the chances of a minor lying about their age and coming onto the chat portion of the website are rare... but it still triggers me all the same... Im scared of someone one day in the future accusing me of doing horrible things like unknowingly inappropriately messaging minors, or have my worst fears of unknowingly explicitly messaging a minor confirmed to have happened and I didnt know about it... i genuinely just feel hopeless... And its all my fault... All of it...

My bf and I have not been in a great place in our relationship lately. I have not been the best gf. We had a discussion/argument last night that was decently fruitful. He told me to list three things that I can do to improve our relationship based on concerns that he had. I listed three but he said I missed the point about one of his concerns. We talked for a little while longer and then I told him that I needed to go to bed so I didn't fall asleep as it was getting late. He hung up and when I texted him he said I made him cry. I thought perhaps it was because I had to go, but he wouldn't really tell me because he said this happens every time we talk. After more discussion I think it's because I missed the point on his concern earlier. I struggle to process things correctly sometimes and I'm at a loss for what to do. I feel awful and fear he'll break up with me.

I remembered I think I went on Instagram sometime last year and I looked up the account of this guy from highschool that I embarrassingly liked in my senior year and made a fool of myself (graduated 3 years ago) and I think I was wondering if him and his girlfriend were still together because I remembered he used to mention her in class and I’d see them walk together and such and we were sort of acquaintances I guess and I think remembered an embarrassing memory from high school i dont know why but I think i would get memories and such sometimes and I’d wonder and then I’d be like “Hmm let me check” which my ocd attached to and was like “What if you did this out of unloyal intent?” Or what if you’re lying to yourself? What if you said something wrong or flirty or unloyal?” And I started spiraling. I’m pretty sure I got curious and checked when my fiancé and I had just started dating but I know I’m a curious person so I know it was just out of curiosity, because I’d never ever want to intentionally hurt or upset my fiancé because I love him so much. I also remembered an instance where my fiancé and I went to a car show with his friends and I always hate seeing people I graduated with from high-school, it was embarrassing or weird to me because they knew how I was in high-school, but I saw him there, and I just kept glancing over to see where he was I guess because I saw at some points he’d glance over at me and stuff. And id see him and his friends laugh so I dont know I felt sort of anxious when I’d see him and I remembered I’d do my best to avoid them because I could just feel the anxiety in my body, and I was embarrassed since my highschool self really embarrasses me when I think of how desperate I was for attention and now my anxiety and OCD attached to it and is trying to convince me my actions were for other reasons and I’m panicking about it, it’s making me feel like I cheated or I was disrespectful to my relationship. And recently my fiancé and I went to this same car show again where I saw that guy at previously and when we were walking around someone near us who looked like him I remembered I was glancing at the cars and I saw that person and I felt like a pang of anxiety in my chest and just this anxious feeling in my stomach it was like my stomach dropped. My ocd has latched onto it and is like “What if you wanted to see him?” And so on, I tried telling myself later “No stop putting lies in my head” and such but just so many other intrusive thoughts came after. I hate this ocd so much and I just I’d never ever want to upset my fiancé he is my world and more and just I get so upset that he also has to deal with all these things in my head :( I also deal with compulsive staring which makes this so much worse especially when I’m triggered because it causes me to basically continuously stare at the person or object that triggered me and it’s like my brain forces me to look it’s so annoying, and then my ocd latched onto that and tells me it “means something” I hate this ocd so much ugh I just want to get rid of it :(

I need to remain rational and not get stuck in the loop that a routine medical procedure of an xray that millions of people get everyday somehow impacted me adversely because I felt a jot of something when the photo was taken and that I’m going to not live because of it. I might have felt a weird energy or air or something that really scared me but I can’t then take it to a place that I will no live much longer then. It’s just so hard. I feel helpless and just want to go back to the doctors office to tell them I’m unhappy and have them show me this happens to others. I’m terrified. And the worst part is there’s nothing I can do. Am I wrong?

I have this huge obsession that I will cheat on my boyfriend. Like to the point where I won’t even walk past a guy because I think I did something wrong or randomly kiss him (weird I know) Today I was at work and I was throwing out the garbage and this guy that works next store was throwing something out too and he let me go first so I went said thank you and walked away but felt weird bc he was next to me but I didn’t like being outside with 2 guys it made me feel very anxious. So then I had one more garbage to bring and I turned around and he was walking towards me and told me to give it to him and he took it from me and threw it out for me so I just stuck out my hand gave him the garbage turned my head and walked away and said thank you. But in my head I’m nervous I was too close to him and that I kissed him or something. I know this sounds ridiculous but it’s not something I would ever want to do. Even if I was single I would not just go around kissing people like wtf. But Because I love my boyfriend so much and my brain like only lives in anxious mode, I can’t see clearly. literally 2 seconds after I do something I think I did something completely opposite of what I did. When I came back inside I felt hot and I wanted to cry so badly I just felt wrong my head was starting to hurt. And it’s all because some guy wanted to do something nice for me. But I can’t do things alone I need like witnesses 24/7 it’s bad and now I just want to go to bed and cry because I can’t handle feeling like this anymore Does anyone else get this? I need to know I’m not alone bc this is confusing 🙃

TW for infidelity I've been in a relationship with my partner for about five years now. For our entire relationship, my obsessions have always been focused around losing him and various reasons why I will lose him. I also have a big fear of losing other relationships like friends, not having enough friends, etc Back in September, an intern who I will call Jane started at my work. She is in a field related to mine so we spend some time together. I recognized my attraction to her quickly (I am queer) and initially brushed it off. Mid-way through October, I was starting to approach her with jokes so she would think I was funny, and dress cuter than usual to work. I began spiraling about this a couple days into it and called my partner at work. I explained to him that I had a crush and had been approaching her and wanting her to think I was cute. I felt awful. He laughed and brushed it off, saying having crushes and getting some excitement and dopamine from them is normal. I felt so relieved and realized I had been in an OCD spiral. Fast forward to the end of November, and I had befriended Jane. She was starting to spend pretty much all day every day in my office. My partner, in our previous conversation, had told me that emotional cheating to him entails "Going to someone else who you having feelings for for emotional support rather than your partner" or "forming a deep emotional connection with someone you have romantic feelings for". I know this because I wrote them down when he said them and would obsessively check back to them to make sure I was not breaking his boundaries. I became more and more confused on my feelings for Jane but kept brushing it off and re-checking my rules to reassure myself I was fine. I would repeatedly draw a spectrum of "crush" to "feelings" and place where I felt along that line. When it was closer to "crush" side, I felt reassured. After Jane's internship ended, we would snapchat throughout the day for 2-3 weeks. I kept panicking, then changing my mind that it was fine and feeling better, and repeat. The cycle felt very OCD-like which made me more inclined to brush off the concerns and feeling of "wrong" I was feeling. Looking back, it did feel different and involved more genuine denial. I started having doubts of "what if I want to be with Jane instead???", "what if I'm falling out of love with my partner???" etc. that looking back, WERE partially fueled by my OCD - but Jane really had started taking up more emotional energy and a shift started to happen. My "emotional center of gravity" started to shift I guess I could say. I wanted to go to her with exciting things first and all that. Sometimes I would go to her and my partner and sometimes even other friends to make sure I wasn’t only sharing with her. A couple weeks passed of back and forth and denial/confusion on what was happening while trying to re-center my partner by making sure we were spending adequate time together etc. but still communicating throughout the day with Jane. I was lying to myself that I could keep in such close contact with her because I was scared to lose the friendship and, in retrospect, wasn’t ready to face that I had done wrong which contributed to denial. First week of January I had a wake-up call, created a lot more distance with Jane and eventually cut off the friendship all together. I have told my partner in more vague details because he has asked to not know more. He knows that I got too close with someone I had a crush on/feelings for and I crossed my own core values. I haven't labeled it cheating to him because I was unsure where OCD ended and real concern began for a minute, but he has told me he doesn't want to know any more and I am trying to respect that boundary. But now I have come to terms that this does fall within emotional cheating. Sitting with the uncertainty is incredibly difficult because I want so badly to tell him I changed my mind and do think this was cheating but I don’t want to break his boundary when he has repeatedly told me he forgives me and does NOT want to know more. I am also just having a really hard time trusting myself after making this mistake which is fueling more and more spirals and i can’t tell what is real and is it exhausting. I don’t know whether I should tell my partner that I actually do consider what I did to be cheating or what to do and I’m freaking out

My sister had a 103.7 fever, and her test results came back positive for flu type-A. I share a room with her (while also reminding her to check her temp + giving her meds), so there was a possibility of me getting sick, but I felt fine the entire day. Night rolls around, and I'm getting really shaky. I think it might be because I'm hungry or something, so I eat dinner (take my meds, it was 8:00 pm something), but the shakiness doesn't go away. I'm feeling really weak, my face feels flushed, I'm dizzy, etc... I just checked my temp, and I have a low fever, but I'm worried that these symptoms aren't the flu and are actually due to my medication? I have never had any problems with my medicine (250mg Sertraline), but I'm afraid of writing it off as the flu, when it could be something like serotonin syndrome. I don't know how that would happen, but I'm just like... What if? 😭 I know that's sooo classic OCD, but how do I separate OCD from a legitimate concern? Do I just keep an eye on myself for now and go to the doctor if it worsens at all?

I’ve always loved kids and wanted to have my own someday, and I would never hurt a child but right now I’m really struggling and feeling ashamed, to the point I don’t even want kids anymore. I’m dealing with what I believe are POCD intrusive thoughts. Has anyone experienced intrusive thoughts that aren’t sexual but feel romantic or otherwise disturbing? I’m just trying to understand and feel less alone.

I was on FaceTime with this girl I like and we were screen sharing and looking at old Snapchat memories, an she has a younger sister and I panicked snd think I had a groin response so then afterward, I wanted her to share her screen again and I wanted to have control of the FaceTime so I could recheck the same photo to make sure I didn’t have the groin response and I made it worse because I saw more triggering content and I saw pictures of her younger sister without a shirt in my OCD saying that what if I liked seeing that. it was triggering to look at, and I kept scrolling back at same photo as a, checking and I kept getting so much anxiety in my chest feels heavy. I feel like a bad person and I had plans to see her this week, but I feel like I can’t and don’t deserve