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Tmi: I went to the bathroom and my stomach hurt so bad, then I went to poo and there was some white bits into my poo. Does anyone know if its a sign of cancer? It also smelled terrible and I feel nauseous. I'm so scared

I made an account on an app named“I am not Saint Joan”. Do you guys think that’s offensive or disrespectful to her? I have religious OCD but I love religious imagery and theology and saints and all of it. But I’m scared it’s offensive or disrespectful to her. What do you guys think? I really like the name.

I was awakened about and hour ago w/ the worst feeling on anxiousness I've felt in a while. These episodes have been escalating these last few weeks. It's becoming more frequent than I like and despite all my eating healthy, drinking tons of water, vitamins & minerals to support my health. I still haven't gotten any better, just worse than before each time. At this point in life I can honestly say I feel defeated ‼️ Defeated as a man, a father and a family member. My mental health is changing right before my eyes and I dont know what to do to help myself. This past week of making these posts have saved my life because I don't know what else to do. I'm at my breaking point right now and I'm unsure of what the future holds for me! I'm not that sharp knife I once was, I've been dulled down by society. Now I'm left with a mess I have " 0 " ideas of how to begin to cleanup. The amount of shame, guilt, anxiety, depression and every negative feeling known to man is what I feel. I feel so low and I'm trying to climb back to my feet despite my feeling overwhelmed with negative feelings and emotions. If I knew what to do to change my situation I would act on it, I'm trying this venting to strangers vs friends & family. I've tried counseling, meditation, yoga, I even tried staying busy and that's the only thing that worked! But unfortunately for me I'm too sick on a daily to even work. I'm barely able to shower because I'm so exhausted from running the water and getting undressed, so halfway through the bath I'm exhausted. I don't know why but I literally feel like I'm dying inside and no one cares! I feel like my life is under attack because of a past relationship that was a toxic roller-coaster of mixed emotions and physical abuse. We both had our moments of being the aggressor but her more than I. I'm just not a violent person unless you provoke me/back me into a corner. I'm not proud I put myself in a situation where I had to defend myself against a woman. At that time I loved this woman more than any woman I've ever loved. But she wouldn't stop breaking my heart and being violent when I confronted her about it. This became an issue throughout our 15 years together and I endured every bit of it trying to hold on to what I thought was love! I don't know what to call it now that I look back, I just know that I was crazy about this woman. We've been apart for the last 8 years almost and unfortunately she passed away last October just 30 days after she turned 39yo. That hurt me, my kids mom has just suddenly died and all I can think about is how we could've saved our relationship but we couldn't stop fighting w/ each other. So I eventually left and started life over, alone and from scratch. I began working on my mental health and going to the gym, reading more, and Journaling my achievements. I went from sleeping in my aunts backyard inside my car for the next 3 months maybe, sleeping in my car other random places and showering wherever I could. I got better mentally, stronger and learned more about myself than before. I began to grow into a mature version of who I was, pushed by my circumstances I had no other options but do better. Fast forward another 2 months and I was ready to move into my first home 🥳‼️ And for the next 3 years I lived there until my employer sold the company and we all got layed off. I got a job maybe 2 months after the fact and it was probably the best thing that happened to me in years. I made more $ than I ever did before and was able to buy a home of my own and move both my boys in w/ me. I took care of everything for me & my boys! They didn't want anything because I was able to afford everything they needed. My oldest son moved out and gave me a grand daughter and now my youngest is on his way to college. I know I have so much to be proud of but my health isn't making it easy to live in the moment and enjoy these things. I never feel good anymore, I worry about everyone & everything and I'm stuck in a cycle of shame, anxiety and depression. I have an appointment today w/ a gastro specialist and I'm praying they can help me get back to work and healthy of course! I can't take looking at my kids, I can't financially support either of them because my health is so bad. Most of their lives I was in between jobs until I got out on my own then I realized what I had been doing wrong this whole time. I was living above my means to say the least! Being single taught me some financial literacy skills that I've been sharpening since. Now its not $ I need 1st, its my health. Only then I can get off my ass and back to work. I've never wanted to work so bad lol, it stresses me out that I'm stuck at home not able to work and everything. Well I think I got everything on my mind off for the moment, I pray for those battling mental health issues. 1 day at a time! Start your journey to peace today, keep track of your accomplishments and celebrate yourself sometimes ✌🏾🫶🏾⁉️

For me I don't have lucky numbers, in fact, I hate calling my ocd-related numbers lucky or unlucky. I have "GOOD" numbers, and "BAD" numbers. Like if something is a bad number I have to either do a compulsion and/or use math to make it a good number. Idk when this started but I have a whole system in my head and I feel so embarrassed when anyone sees me doing something ocd related, like tapping or something. But that just makes me do it more... and sometimes I feel like I am imagining it because for me it doesn't define my whole existence exactly? I won't put my good or bad numbers on here because for me it is a bit triggering when I see someone say that their good number is actually (for me) a bad number... but anyways do other people feel like this at all? Any part of what I'm saying?

18+ only One of my compulsions is m*sturbation, I'll get triggered by something and have to disprove it and find something "safe" to do said compulsion. Usually this means they have to follow some rules I have: 1) Don't do things I consider immoral (Cosplaying underage characters, doing step fantasy stuff, infantilising themselves in anyway, whether that's an outfit, a hairstyle or a word in a title like "teen" or "18 year old") 2) Be 20 or over (Although when I was in therapy, my therapist told me to trust the verification process of sites and I did so for a while before seeing something that made me doubt their ability on p*rnhub but obviously if people had bios saying they were 18/19 then that person wouldn't be safe, basically one person was verified and when I was checking their social media, I saw something that meant they shouldn't be, I reported everything of course and haven't used the site since.) 3) Don't follow people who break rules 1 or 2 (Usually I give people the benefit of he doubt that they don't know if it's only 1 person or so, but this is what I'm worried about.) I just remembered that the only person I still considered safe might not be, I gave them benefit of the doubt about one person they followed who did things I don't like (Step fantasy stuff) and I'm scared I shouldn't have, this popped into my head and made me check if anyone else in their following is bad the aforementioned person was fetishising the whole step family thing, yuck, and another who follows people I've blocked on Twitter, as I was checking their following I kept being triggered, I'm worried I never should've give them benefit of the doubt the first time, another person they follow, follows people I've previously blocked/reported for being scared they're infantilising themselves or the step family thing, I DM'd one of the people who follow a bunch of people who broke rules one or three to give them benefit of the doubt and let them know about what some of the people they follow do and did the same to the people I considered safe. But it feels like every person I considered safe at some point turns out to do something I consider immoral, sometimes it's me being scared (Like when someone was wearing a checkered skirt or a skirt with two lines at the bottom). The only reason I considered this person no longer safe was because of the site they used that I mentioned earlier

I feel like I’ve hit a dead end with ocd treatment and can’t figure out anything that is going to help me. I have extremely bad ocd and I have tried therapy twice a week at an ocd specialty center from October to April, (it got bumped down to once a week because we weren’t getting anywhere), I have tried nearly every medication. I have tried Prozac 80mg Zoloft 200 mg, abilify 10mg, buspirone 60 mg, Xanax and Seroquel for anxiety spikes, 20 mg of memantine, and I just started 150mg of chlomipramine (I started 100 mg over week and a half ago and 50 mg before that). I might have left something out. The medications have not done anything for me, and therapy hasn’t done anything for me. I tried ERP with my therapist, but because of the complexity of the ocd (obsessions stacking on one another), it was so complicated, I couldn’t explain it. At the ocd center they said that I need to do residential treatment over the summer for them to see me again. My parents said I’m not doing that over the summer and have threatened to make me take pay my apartment rent if I do (I’m 20). I have limited money. I’m likely going to do TMS over the summer if the chlomipramine doesn’t do something magical within a few weeks, and if that doesn’t work, outpatient therapy hasn’t worked and probably isn’t going to work for me, and there aren’t many medications for ocd I haven’t tried. I’m tired of living with severe ocd and nothing working. Nothing has even worked a little bit. My Y-BOCS scores are in the high 30s. It’s become the “new normal” for me to live like this and I’m afraid that’s how I am going to have to live my life. I don’t know if anyone has advice, but I am at a stuck point. My psychiatrist said he would refer me for deep brain stimulation if it got to the point where TMS didn’t work, and my parents said I’m not doing that. I’d literally be willing to do an experimental trial for something even with risk, because I hate living like this. If I am going wrong in ERP, I don’t know where it is, because I haven’t been able to articulate my fears to the therapist well, and we haven’t found an exposure that works well

Can any moms out there share their experience with what their OCD was like postpartum? (Not postpartum OCD, but your already diagnosed OCD) My OCD definitely amped up after my girls were born. The added stresses of life definitely make OCD more intense. What are your experiences?

How do you manage to sit with the feeling of Depersonalization without feeling like you are going to snap or forget about everyone you love. I swear I feel like I keep getting lapses in my brain. It’s like I’m stuck in here and I don’t recognize my body. I find myself repeating my family members names in my head so I won’t forget them. This is so scary. I just want to be myself again without feeling so disconnected from myself and others. I also don’t want to invite the idea of having multiple personalities.

As of recently, my OCD has been worse. Especially around my pets. I keep getting groinal responses and it makes me uncomfortable. Whenever My cats lick themselves or lick their bowls, . The sounds activate my OCD and also makes me very frustrated.. As of recently, my OCD has just been way worse and I really don’t understand why. I also am getting bad false memory ocd again where my brain convinces me I did something inappropriate to my pets even if I didn’t.

I pray about the same spirals and sins and what if thoughts everyday all the way down the loop hole and nothing is changing and I feel the same everyday so I’m worried there’s something I’m not doing to have God help me. Or I don’t think he can change me I want to be transformed but am worried I’m not putting enough effort. I don’t want to be stuck in the same cycles. Then I will read ocd related things and scripture to help and feel better but then when I read something scary or truthful I’ll spiral again but I can just read feel good scripture or ocd books. Cuz then it’s not trusting God enough to heal. Does anyone feel this way? Then feel like I’m running back to comfort cuz my ocd is like don’t do this!! So then I want to do it to relive it but maybe I’m actually not supposed to do it then I’m giving into my flesh and not actually doing “erp” and what if I’m not finding true satisfaction in Jesus and looking in the world to satisfy me but that’s fleeting. How Can I just enjoy his presence and not fear him in a bad way. My mind is non stop thinking 24/7 even when I’m distracted or doing fun things it’s always there

Hi NOCD Community, I am asking for advice on how to manage and embrace uncertainty when faced with multiple OCD obsessions all at once? Everyday I deal with “Pure” OCD compounded with racing intrusive thoughts. There are many subtypes of OCD which pop up and make my brain go into hyperdrive: failure, perfectionism, harm, sometimes scrupulosity, and existentialism. Many ideas or daily tasks can trigger my OCD. My mental compulsions are repeating phrases, rumination, and canceling out the thoughts to ease my discomfort and worry. Every time my brain becomes obsessive and fear-driven, it is hard for me to locate the “hot thought” triggering the obsessions. What happens usually is when my brain picks a topic or theme which it perceives as a threat, an endless loop and cycle emerges. My brain will then progress onto a new threat/obsessions for me to worry and obsess over. It is mentally exhausting. However, I remain hopeful that I am close to fully accept and embrace uncertainty and find a solution to manage my OCD. However, I am posting on here to receive help and feedback on how to manage my personal challenging situation with OCD. Any advice will help. Thank you.

I feel like I’ve been in this limbo where I don’t know if it’s ocd or depression. I’ve been over thinking about my life, I feel like my overthinking has gone in over drive, since being in a relationship. Constant thinking of bettering my life, I’m making myself a victim, I’m not putting enough effort, am I great person etc. I procrastinate a lot because I want everything to be right first time & I start thinking of the failed what ifs so that hinders me. Is it ROCD that’s triggering me right now? I’m even considering medication because the constant rumination is bothering me & I feel bad on my partner, I can tell he’s burnt out too. I hope this post makes sense & someone has felt the same way 🥺😭

I have a very specific situation most people don’t have when it comes to this and I need tips or advice on what to do essentially I had a friend in 2022 in high school that talked to my girlfriend and had a sexual relationship with her. Four years later we connected and got together having no clue this would happen as well as I am no longer friends with said person, but I keep having these vivid flashbacks from the one time I saw her get touched by him in a sensual/sexual way and it bothers me. I don’t know why it bothers me, but I need help getting over it. Any advice?

Hello! Me and my boyfriend are both diagnosed with OCD and have dealt with our respective subtypes together pretty well for the most part. A big thing that I am struggling with is his lying. He tends to lie about things he’s scared to admit he didn’t or couldn’t do. For example, when we were in high school he would often lie about how he did on tests or homework to essentially save face. He also struggles a lot with admitting defeat or that he needs help and will lie for those reasons too. We’ve had many, many conversations about this and I know rationally that his lying isn’t my fault and is just a result of himself and his brain. For me emotionally, I can’t really shake the feeling that if I was just a better girlfriend and he trusted me more, everything would be okay. Again, I know it isn’t because he distrusts me or my potential reactions. I just can’t help but blame myself. We’ve been able to work through a lot together but not this and my brain is very unhappy about it. Does anyone have some advice on how to support my boyfriend through this issue and/or how to come to terms with the fact that this issue isn’t my fault? Anything is appreciated :) Even some perspective from others with the same issue as him would be lovely to hear!

I’m becoming so upset with myself in my relationship because my self esteem is so low that I’m feeling incredibly insecure in my relationship. If my partner talks about another woman, interacts with one, I just freak out and think ‘I’m not good enough, this will be over soon’. This is not a mistrust thing toward my partner because he is incredible and very loyal, however my mind refuses to accept he loves me and any other woman he might come across is just a friend and won’t interfere with our relationship. These thoughts are so scary because I don’t want to control my partner, I just want to accept that he loves me. Any advice? I’m taking medication too, I just started 3 weeks ago so nothing much yet. Thanks ❤️

This is not an exaggeration, I know people who say this with 7 hours of screen time but I probably have 10 more hours on that per day. I'm just not sure what to do. My entire life has been like this. I grew up as an only child with no other family than my parents who fought all the time, and I moved around a lot and my parents were not very social so I never developed social skills. That problem has lessened somewhat and I don't struggle to talk to people anymore. But I don't know what a normal life looks like. I don't know what to do other than screens, I don't know who to meet. I feel FOMO without a screen to look at. I don't really have anything to do besides them anyway. My therapist has said that this - unsurprisingly - has contributed significantly to my problems. But there's a part of me that thinks I use screens in the first place to distract myself from my OCD, as if I don't use them I get bored whoch leads to OCD. I know that's wrong now but I wasn't aware I had OCD for so long. So it's hard to let go. I just don't know what else I could do other than screens.

I feel like I have an ocd compulsion that is unfixable. Basically I cannot stop swallowing. Like it does not matter how hard i try to distract myself or disengage or fight against it. I cannot stop swallowing. And if I do forget about it for 30 seconds My brain immediately sees that and will latch right back onto it. Oh and whenever I feel my saliva it re triggers the ocd and my heart sinks so hard and it’s like okay well now u have to swallow u can’t hold the saliva forever, and when i try to hold the saliva it feels like i can’t breath. It all just started one day i kept swallowing bc saliva kept coming up a lot and then i could not stop doing it and now it’s all i think about from the moment I wake up from the moment I go to sleep no matter how hard I try to distract myself it stays with me. And it’s made me so depressed i’ve never been through this kind of ocd before and i’ve tried to just “accept it” and let it exist and understand it’s a normal bodily function that everyone has and i’ll do that and for days and days it will continue and a week later i’ll get super frustrated because im making no progress. It’s given me so much anxiety and has made me basically want to sleep all the time bc that’s the only time i get a break from it, it makes me not want to do anything either. I’m posting this bc I want to know has anyone else gone through this before? Are there any tips or tricks to delegating this or helping stop this? Please anyone could respond it would be so greatly appreciated I just need someone to talk to about this.

I have harm ocd and I have found the exposures like just literally sitting with uncertainty is soooo uncomfortable! Anyone else deal with this?! Will it ever get more comfortable to sit with these awful feelings?

I recently got broken up with, this has been my 4th brake up this year with the same person I've been with for 3 years, I've my time of being with her I was cheated on about 4 times and we brake up but she be the on leaving me I wouldn't brake up I'd try to get to understand why and comfort her, I felt I knew she loved me and jjstvwas action out out of trama from transitioning MTF and from her past partner cheating on her, and bc if this it really made me obsesse over her an what she was doing and constantly checking my social medias for annomanouse txt form people I didn't know and checking her fallowing or her PC to get on her discord,bc of then it course me a lot of pain, there be times I find nothing and felt I should just trust her and so I'd let my gard down bc everything was good when then I'd feel it's all too good to be true and that something going to go wrong and it got the point she found out I www on her PC and she changed passwords for that and her phone and told me I just wanted to manipulation and control her when I'd ask her to not talk to someone or tell her I didn't want her friends with someone she talk to like that (as in flirty) and I couldn't understand why she wouldn't respect mento block people I didn't like her taking to but I'd do it for her instantly and the resin she does it would go back to when I wouldn't block my ex before her bc her bills were in my name and we had to stay in contact to pay those bills,and I later block her once we got that situation taken care of so it shouldnt have kept being a issue to her after, and when we have fights and she say we can't fix the relationship and she always blame me saying I always lied and was a bad partner bc I was a lier but I lied once over hanging out with a friend and she lied a bunch and cheated a lot so it hard bc I felt like I was the problem like I was always fucking up an so I'd be careful tip toe around and find ways to coap but it was all in healthy tell I decided I'd go back to art and drawing again bc it was hard to when my art wasn't appreciated at all and she choose to appreciate the girl I told her to block art over mine and it made me so jealouse and hateful over her art thinking it was bad when I believe all art forms are good but bc I grew to hate so many random girl I just couldn't help my self butbid always keep the thoughts to my self and it made me feel like such a bad person and like people will find out I'm actually a bad person when I don't feel like i am and when I'd slip up and decide to be mean to my partner now ex she call me a bad person when I was just givjng her the same passive aggressive treatment and tone she give me It's all hard and I miss her but I feel also happy I'm not there anymore bc she really didn't treat me well and now I don't have to worry about if I'm going to upset her from me interrupting for me forgetting to change my tone for me blanking out or dissociating, but I still feel lonely and like I want the cute relationship stuff but I also don't feel ready for the emotal parts of a relationship so I've avoided trying to get to close to people or downloading apps bc I want to for once focus on me.

I feel so stupid when I get this way but I have a friend (best word for it, more like an acquaintance) that I sort of have a crush on (eww gross I know) and I introduce them to one of my best friends and now they’ve befriend each other. My best friend doesn’t know I like this acquaintance, nor does the acquaintance know that I like them and they do not like me, so I have absolutely no claim to them or right in feeling however I do but often find myself feeling jealous when they talk to each other. It doesn’t seem that they’re interested in each other either, but sometimes I worry, but it doesn’t matter because me and said acquaintance have no romantic involvement whatsoever so I really shouldn’t be having these feelings. I think I’m a bit obsessive and possessive and there’s no reason to be, we’re not a thing and never will be. I feel this way when said acquaintance interacts with virtually anyone else who could be of potential romantic interest to them. How to stop feeling jealous?