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It sucks sometimes. Just gonna put that out there.

I’m convinced I’m not over my ex again. I’ve been with my current boyfriend for 7 months. My last relationship ended abruptly and horribly so. I’m worried because I still have thoughts of like, if I wasn’t with my bf maybe I’d call him up and hangout with him. Maybe part of me is upset that I can’t do that ever again, like he’ll never be a normal person again. Part of me seems to miss the dynamic we had, I miss going to the mountains and playing guitar with him. And my relationship is going through a terrible time, and I’m starting to fantasize my past or question myself when I realize I like the idea of it. Logistically I’d never go back to my ex, but I feel like I want to. One time when we broke up for a second, I contemplated about following my ex but didn’t yet. I labeled it as OCD for a while, but I finally told my boyfriend I think there’s parts of it I never got over that I want to work out in therapy. But what if I don’t want to get over him?! These thoughts plague my head for days and then go away and then come back. I swear it’s real though and I feel so guilty. Why do I feel like I want him back? I was so sick when I dated him

Do you think it’s possible to move on from a real event that’s actually bad? I did something horrible when I was a child and I often see people talking about how it doesn’t matter if you’re a child you deserve consequences etc. I don’t know how I can forgive myself. It makes me so sick to my stomach very often to think about hurting a close friend (at that time). I don’t know how or why I was such an evil child but it breaks my heart for that person. I’ve done erp and it always comes back.

I’m sorry for the stupid question but I’m wondering how you guys manage to quit obsessively googling stuff or using ai when your having a bad time mentally with your OCD. I feel a lot of guilt over this stupid compulsion cause I know how bad ai is for environment.

I am really struggling right now because a close friend of mine has not answered my multiple texts for almost a week now but I have seen her active on social media like TikTok. She viewed my Instagram stories but did not interact and she never viewed the comment I made on the one Instagram story she’s posted in the last week. I was really spiraling last night and called her but she did not answer though I saw she was active on TikTok a couple hours later. In my OCD mind the only conclusion I can come to is that she now hates me or is mad at me for something but given we spoke 3 weeks ago and don’t have many shared circles I couldn’t think of anything that could have happened that would make her cut me off so starkly. So again my OCD brain kicked in and decided the only thing that could have happened is that someone confessed to her in the past 3 weeks that I had sexually assaulted them or made them uncomfortable back when we played hockey together in high school (about 5 or 6 years ago). I have a very intense fear of ever having made someone feel uncomfortable as I am a survivor of sexual assault myself and this is a recurring theme in my OCD. I just can’t shake the feeling that something is very wrong and that it must be that I assaulted someone. These thoughts are pushing me to the point of insanity and I haven’t eaten or left the house in days. Any advice would be so helpful as I do not know what to do

If the 20 is in college the 18 is in highschool but they met in public?? 20 turns 21 in a few months 18 turns 19 next year

Im trying so hard to be better... but I'm struggling... I just hope someone finds the time to respond... I genuinely feel so lost right now... and someone on here blocked me which makes me feel worse... UPDATE: My ex and I broke up nearly 3 weeks ago... so... the girlfriend thing is outdated... and I'm so exhausted... plus I got assaulted at my job as a caretaker by a member, my supervisor wants to fire me and constantly talks behind my back, and i have no one close who i can talk to... today I turned in my notice... my supervisor said "fantastic" and "talk to you later" in a clearly sarcastic and vindictive manner... im struggling with a lot... yesterday was my last day... and... everything feels... just... wrong... With my harm ocd hitting full swing... i find myself triggered by my pocd again... and i feel like a horrible person... i tried not to post... i tried to do what people told me... but right now i feel absolutely horrible... I genuinely feel so guilty... I cant handle the anxiety... Im doing horribly right now because I feel so so guilty about this... Youtubers are constantly getting accused of doing p3dophilic activity and inappropriately abusing and inappropriately messaging women and minors and abusing others and its making me think my real events are as bad or as worse as them... and that I'll be cancelled and arrested later in life because of all of this... I have genuinely never felt more alone in my life than this particular moment right here... Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... (the 18+ HOCD situations were about 18+ graphic HOCD situations that triggered me immensely...) When I was 19, in an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors in the PM's about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... The 14-15 year old said she was uncomfortable the first time and i tried to stop venting to her... after she said i was a bad person because of politics... I vented to her a second time because her saying i was a bad person triggered me... she said she was uncomfortable for the second time and then i blocked her... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... I'm so genuinely triggered... I don't want to be a P or a MAP or a groomer or a bad person... I wanna be a good person who does good things for other people... I dont want to be arrested for any crimes... I just want to be a good person who helps people in the medical field... I only want to help others... the last thing I want is to commit any form of harm towards kids or teens in any way... 😭😭😭 And I keep getting intrusive thoughts of calling the 14-15 year old "cute" with her saying "thanks" on text... I genuinely find this so awful and disgusting...

Today I'm going to try and talk to some therapists I'm not sure why but it's always been hard for me to get help... For some reason I earn for stability in life and organization but my body feel too tired to do anything I have no motivation for anything now. Even when I really want to go to collage and be normal citizin I still do nothing about it and blame everything on my family but then I feel guilty and blame my self for not listening to their advicese... And I also keep going through cycles of identity crisis I feel like I want the help but at the same time I feel awkward about it and I feel like I don't deserve the help because I'm lazy and a disappoinment to my family... I feel like if I have an understanding of my OCD and mental compulsions then I don't really need the help and that I'm just asking for attention at this point when really I hate attention and that's how my anxiety gets the best of me I feel overwhelmed with adult hood I don't know what to do with my future and I know I need the help but for some reason I keep pushing it away and have the strong desire to help and fix someone else who is dealing with mental struggles... Because my problem aren't as bad as there situation... For some reason this caused me to struggle in highschool I'm 19 now and I regret not asking anyone for help even though there was many time my teachers where concerned about my well being I secretly wanted them to notice my struggles but for some reasons I kept pushing them away... I honestly just Really don't know whats wrong with me I'm I just lazy?..

I know that no one owes you anything in this life but your parents while you're young. But after that its 100% up to you to get what you need for yourself! I get that part and I'm not that kind of person to throw things in your face I've done for you but if I did, I would be all day and night. I simply do things for people to do better and pass it on to the next. I'm a real people pleaser but w/ boundaries if that makes sense lol. I dont play well w/ ignorant people or situations and I'm good at never talking to you again if you take me out of my element/energy/composure. I've always been there for everyone else when they need anything but for me, soon as I got sick 09/2024 everyone disappeared right when I needed them! Now I'm left fighting alone, struggling to do the minimum 😫‼️ But I haven't given up or turned to drugs and alcohol. Nope, I have a different type of monster I use to cope w/ my problems and I'm tired of it not solving my problems. But it sure adds shame to my already existing plate of mental issues lol. Isn't life great? Here I am a 40yo man w/ more problems than a high school textbook. I made a lot of mistakes growing up but I never felt good about any of it, I feel absolute shame for some of those things. I wish to know what to do w/ the rest of my life. I mean every attempt to get help has ended w/ me not getting anything but more health concerns. It's almost been 2 full years since I got sick and over 50 hospital visits later I'm still trying to figure out my life! I have these kids and a 2 grand daughters to live for and I just refuse to give up knowing that no one will care for them like I would. They don't how much pain I'm in because I try to keep it to myself until I'm needing a Dr. I'm a real mans man is what I've been told because I have to be almost dead to want to see a Dr, I don't know why but I just don't like going to the Dr. So they know when I say that it's something wrong and they ask no questions. Well I guess I'm done venting for now, I wish you all a blessing so big you can enjoy the rest of your life stress free 🧎🏾‍♂️🙌🏾 Amen‼️ ✌🏾🫶🏾

I was crying to my partner because I'm just so overwhelmed dealing with intrusive thoughts and anxiety... then something in my mind clicked and was like "you're crying and being overdramatic, you're just making this up for attention" and "I'm not real, I'm imagining existence"... and I stopped myself from crying because I felt like an imposter? Does any one else deal with one or the other? or both ☹️

I just recently broke up with most of my friends and I’m losing it I’ve never felt so alone before in the end I know it’s better for me because they were mean to me but it hurts and I know I’m going to be alone for a bit and I know I’m spending the summer alone and it’s killing me we were all so close and now their just strangers to me but I can’t deal with it does any one have any advice to accept this? I am trying to find a therapist but I need advice for the time being.

help i feel like i cheated while drunk. i went to bed feeling content w the night and sent my bf a happy drunk vlog. i feel like i cheated help

I am now at a place where my ocd fears are so much easier to manage since doing ERP and am on the right medication. I have been feeling so much happier although I now find myself constantly thinking about how I was approx 40 years ago ,before knowing that I had ocd. I feel so guilty of all the things I did for reassurance which I now know were testing compulsions. I ended up having a mental breakdown and I worry how all of this and the testing compulsions which were all based around my children could have affected them.as I wasnt diagnosed until 25 years ago They do not remember any of it, and I never ever harmed them or anyone else although as some of the horrible compulsions involved them I am getting into a bit of a state over this. I find myself wanting to tell them everything about the things I did , but cant as they dont remember I feel it would be unfair as it obviously had no impact on them, and it would probably be me just to make myself feel a bit better, is this just another kind of compulsion? i Am I thinking too much into this as I myself was so traumitised at the time. Please help me if you can as I have been so happy that I am now managing my ocd and I have had this horrible thing for 50 plus years , thank you for listtening

I feel like I have the WORST Intrusive thoughts in the world. Nobody has the thoughts I do

Hello lovely people- one of the things I have really been struggling with lately is my sense of identity, and just not feeling like myself. For reference, I am 19- and only found out I had OCD in October, I also left for University in September so moved away from my childhood home. Recently, in light of a real event shame spiral, I feel like my previously strong sense of who I am and what I am like has been shattered. This is making me feel rather lost… I suppose what I am asking is does anyone have a similar experience or advice on this? Some of you who have struggled with OCD for a while… how have you coped? How do I begin to feel like myself again? Thank you 🫶

Hey i am new here with religious ocd how this app work

Hello 👋 This is my first post on hear so I thought i might share my story I think I have been struggling with SO-OCD where i have constant intrusive thoughts doubting my sexuality (lesbian) and trying to convince me that im actually straight and have been living a lie. All I want is to be with women I have no desire to be with men but my intrusive thoughts are just denying it and they get louder every time I try to express myself or talk about it with some thoughts getting it so bad that it makes me feel physically ill or make me actually claw my skin or make me scream out loud. it started getting bad in 2022 when I started to discover my sexuality and all my thoughts were just doubts about it so I never seek help bc I feel wrong and delusional, school is what triggered my intrusive thoughts the most to the point where I had to leave high school and finish it online cause I couldn’t be around people anymore. REALLY disturbing Mental images of me having sex with men keeps popping up head even though I don’t want to some of these were men that I knew. THIS STILL HAPPENS TODAY I’m in university now. I would always hear in my head “oh if you’re thinking about it, therefore you’re fantasizing about it and you like it and you can’t stop thinking about men” I still get uncomfortable seeing straight couples be intimate or holding hands because intrusive thoughts would trigger being like “this is what you should have” or “you’re lying to yourself about being gay” or “your faking it” and it’s really tough because most of the people in my life are straight and I wanna be there for them when they get into relationships, and I wanna be supportive when they introduce their partners to me. I also avoid dating or any conversations about dating or sex. When people say “oh I think you have a crush on this boy” it will make me believe It’s true and it’s super damaging. And convos about sex will just make the mental images come back. I am super super sorry that this ended up being so long, I heard that it was more common in heterosexual people and it made me feel like I was going through this alone (idk if that’s necessarily true). i’m in the process of seeking treatment i still have bad days. Hopefully people can relate to me.

So.. i’m 19. Doing like semi well in life. My parents have my back so in the end i’m fine but damn i quit uni after just a year which was about a year ago and started nursing school which i lowkey also feel like quitting.. the thing is I’ve basically wanted to be a doctor ALL my life. I’m not super smart and i have adhd so my grades have never been amazing but my mom is a nurse and many of her coworkers have told me i would make a great doctor. It’s genuinely been a dream (option 1 was always to become an actor but that’s even less realistic lmao) and now with doing well in nursing school (all a’s but it’s a lot “easier” where i life than it is in the US) it’s never been as realistic for me to actually make it into med school. To get to my current struggle, it started with me wondering if i actually have what it takes to be a doctor. Just a quick reddit search and i fell into this spiral. Can i do med school? Am i too mentally ill? What if the job just ends up making me unhappy. Which specialty would i even go into? All that lead to me being STRESSED. I rarely talk to my parents when i struggle and i cried in my Mamas arms two days in a row. Like.. i’m 19 at some point you gotta know what you want no? And the biggest problem i have now is that suddenly i feel indifferent about being a doctor? I used to think id do well in med school bc it’s something i really want and am passionate about but now it suddenly feels like i dont care at all and i just wonder, is that ocd? Will it go away? It’s been like this for like a month idk

Hello everyone. I'm here in search of help. First time posting here so apologies for any mistakes. I'm not diagnosed with OCD but ive been dealing with intrusive thoughts for around a year or so. It could be more, but my specific problem i noticed started probably around 2024. It all involves obsessive thoughts towards an online friend I have known for a while. I have constant worries over past mistakes and things I've done/said to them, and even tho we have talked about them and solved them, my brain seems stuck. Things such as feeling bad and feeling they hate me even tho I know they don't, wanting to avoiding talking to them so I don't make another "mistake" again, feeling anxious when being texted, avoiding saying certain things and so on. I have urges to self sabotage or tell them my thoughts but I know I should not do that. I've been trying to do ERP on my own once I realised that Ive been falling back to old habits, such as telling my thoughts to my best friend (and other friends) and then the conversation dragging for hours without results. Or how I'd seek reassurance. Anyway, I made it a goal to not have an episode (as i call them) with the online friend I mentioned in order to teach my brain not to react with anxiety, and this lasted for april. It's may now, and while I think there's improvements, I feel I'm not doing things right? If this part is ocd, please ignore it. I cannot afford therapy hence my attempt on doing this on my own. I wanted to post here to break the "loop" (took a bit to make an account but I'm here now lol). Has anyone else experienced something similar? If so, is there any advice you can give? I'd highly appreciate it! So far, anxious responses have been minimized, but I still get them. I make sure to ignore/not give attention to the thoughts but sometimes it feels impossible but I try remind myself progress is not linear. Aside from the problems listed, I noticed I'm dealing with some jealousy towards the friend, which I absolutely hate. Thank you in advance for reading. If a trigger warning is needed please tell me. If more context is needed I'll be happy to give it (since I feel i didn't explain my situation too well and it sounds too vague)

I don't understand how the solution to ocd is be delusional & ignore you thoughts & let them run. I've done exposure therapy at home & in session. Still feel anxious at 10! Still feel crippling guilt. The meds make it worse or do nothing. I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I don't see the purpose of trying anymore. It's been 10 years. Anyone here actually better?! Happy? I feel like I exchange one intrusive thought with another...I think I'm spiraling