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I’m a Christian dealing with OCD. Can Christians help me by, for example, sharing their testimony with Jesus, having OCD? Thanks 💗

Im in a hospital for help because my spiral is so bad I can’t function. I just quit my job. There’s someone at my work I have constant thoughts about, like what will he think of what I’m wearing, will he find my interesting, etc. and I find him attractive. He’s younger and I try to seem cool around him. He’s cute, and it invokes a feeling I get around most cute guys. But I’m insanely scared that I have feelings for him?? I saw him at work today and before I was able to even process or check for OCD feelings, I was like oh it’s him ☺️ and felt a little maybe flutter??? I DONT LIKE HIM like it’s not a normal crush but I swear I do and it’s making me lose my mind because I told my ex I’m trying to fix things with that I DONT like that guy but now I think I do??? I’m so broken and scared and confused and I don’t know how to tell myself it’s OCD if I might like him. It’s like my brain chooses someone to do this with and it constantly switches off but this time it won’t let go of this guy and it’s been over a MONTH. And I can’t stop the feeling when I see him but it isn’t even like a crush feeling but it’s not a normal one and for some reason I REALLY want his attention but don’t care much about him?? And the whole “maybe you do maybe you don’t” does NOT HELP IN THE SLIGHTEST. And saying I like him sounds wrong but saying I don’t sounds wrong too and I know that once I never see him again (which starts today) I’ll forget he exists and not care. But what does it mean if I care or feel that WHEN I see him?

This first week on Zoloft has actually gone a lot better for me than the last eight weeks on Prozac however, the dreaded SSRI dreams are back super strong and because of my current OCD theme, which is kind of existential ocd mixed with psychosis OCD. I’m really in the weeds. I’m in DPDR and remembering all these vivid dreams all day is really causing me stress.

I cant enjoy anything and suddenly all my emotions almost fade away, like I cant feel empathy for someone despite being an overly sensitive person for years, I dont have energy for anything, I dont want friends, a girlfriend or a boyfriend, I feel like its all just so useless, I can do things like studying, working,going to gym but I just dont enjoy anything, All i want to do is sleeping even when I'm not tired, before I would die to go somewhere new, now people tell me to go out with them but I just dont want it, i hate it, i even hate talking with my bestfriend, I just want to be alone idk why

So ive been suffering with hocd/soocd for about 5 years now, and within the last year (2026) it had become so bad and unmanageable. So before this I never actually believed like deep down that I was into women like I just knew it wasnt true. However, recently Ive started to have this feeling that deep down I actually am and just can't accept it (cause of internalised homophobia) and like scared that deep down i am a girl whos into girls. Even though I dont want to be and like I have no problem with those who are or even being one myself but these feelings disrupt the life I want for myself (bf, husband, having a relationship with men). Anyways today I was feeling just so numb and im scrolling on social media and I see this girl and i notice her body (i didnt wanna be with her in any way) and instead if getting panicked like I usually do it felt like this curiosity and relief and like genuine questioning and then I started panicking about am I genuinely questioning is this not ocd anymore, have I beat the ocd and now im just questioning for real. But can this be hocd/so-ocd? Can it make me feel like its genuine and curiosity? Or have I actually been suppressing something within me like I fear was?

(TW mention of sa/child abuse, sh, and attempted sui¢ide) This is deeply personal but I'm genuinely struggling so bad I need to hear from others. Obviously can't tell anyone in my life about this because nobody knows this. Background: Ever since I could remember I've been sexually abused by an older family figure in my life. It kind of stopped around the time I was 11? I mean the sexual comments remained for a bit but he wouldn't really touch me. Only my butt. Maybe I was finally too old for his liking. I was always scared of being left alone with him and unfortunately had to be on multiple occasions and wouldn't you know he tried stuff with me after showing me the p0rn he wanted me to copy. wow shocker. After it stopped I continued to be around this person and even though I knew those things happened I think I forced myself to forget it? I didn't really act any different aside from becoming more indifferent to physical affection but that was just seen as me being a difficult kid or something. I don't remember when exactly but I know I started getting nightmares about it more frequently after it stopped. Which always weirded me out because why wasn't it worse during I'll never know. If I had to pinpoint I'd say around 12-13 the trauma resurfaced and I started getting flashbacks almost everyday. Those times were blurry but I know for a fact the flashbacks became consistent. In middle school people started talking about bedroom stuff and figuring themselves out, I could never completely relate to it I mean fully. Even though I was hypersexual, I couldn't think about being intimate with anyone without also thinking about what had happened to me and then I'd shut down. That was a vicious cycle. One that I'm still trying to get over. I thought I was a late bloomer because that's what everyone else told me. Now me at 17 I'm realizing a pattern. Not to discredit anyone who's asexual, I do consider myself asexual but I'm starting to wonder if I'd be this way if it weren't for what I went through. Anyway that's probably enough backround to understand what I'd like to bring up the most. I struggle mostly with Harm OCD, POCD, Moral OCD, False memory OCD/Magical thinking OCD. Let me explain how those feed off each other and lead me down a never ending rabbit hole. As mentioned before someone in the past hurt me in one of the worst ways, I never was able to get help for this along with any other trauma I faced as a kid and even now. I know that something horrible must've happened to my abuser to make him do those things to me and my other family member (I don't know if there were more victims besides us that's another ordeal). My main fear is turning into the evil that had corrupted me all those years ago, ripping away my innocence like it was nothing. I was strictly religious a couple years ago and would read my Bible after babysitting and cry to not become that. I had brutal intrusive thought attacks involving whoever I was around or people in my life (friends,family,kids) and I couldn't bear the thought of hurting someone as much as I was that I would rather erase myself since I was the problem. Or would eventually be. So that did lead to me attempting a couple of times along with relapsing. I've severely isolated myself from friends, leading me to lose a bunch, and now it's getting as bad as me avoiding my family, and sometimes immediate family. I don't trust myself around anyone or myself. But I'd much rather hurt myself than risk doing something to someone else. This is where those last two types of OCD I mentioned earlier play a part in this endless torture. When I'm having a bad OCD flare up my mind tricks me into thinking something is going to take over my mind and make me reenact all the disgusting things I get intrusive thoughts of. Like it would take over my brain as I black out and by the time I wake up, the damage would already be done. And my biggest fear would have come true. I would be the new abuser. As ridiculous as this may sound to other people it's real as can be to me, I don't even think I deserve to live because I'm literally so petrified of what I'm capable of underneath. Do I want to do any of these things? Of course not, but what if I'm just tricking myself into believing I don't want to do anything bad. And vice versa. This sucks. Do you guys think there's any hope for me? Am I too far gone and the only solution is for the world to rid of me?

I’m struggling with getting motivated to do erp. I just have no desire to Idk if it’s because I think it won’t work, or if I just don’t want to deal with it Anyone have any encouragement?

hi i just wanted to share my ocd story and just see if anyone can relate. i have a few so ill start with the health one. it started when i was nine. i had never experienced depression or anxiety etc. when i was visiting my mom due to divorce she had given my brother and i a pill. not for sure why but we took it. when i took it i choked on the pill resulting in my mom doing Heimlich maneuver. after that i literally felt like anytime i would swallow something i would choke leading me to be in the hospital because i was terrified. that’s when it went down hill where any ache, pain, dull, headache, even as far as doordashing and someone poisoning my food i just feel like im going to die all the time and it’s horrible that i can’t just have a simple headache without feeling like i’m have a brain bleed. or a pain down my arm is a heart attack. google is a trigger for me so i try to stay away so i don’t get sucked into a loop. next would be religion. this sounds silly but when i was younger i would go to sunday school and they got onto the topic of the end of the world and let’s just say it scared me so bad i didn’t go back. it seems unrealistic that i would fear this but oh my gosh people try to predict all the time to the point where i had to delete tik tok because everyone was just saying it was going to end. one specific incident was around september of last year someone said it was going to end (yes im aware only God knows when) i couldn’t sleep that night i constantly checked on my daughter to see if she was still there or had been taken. anytime i hear about the end i can’t let it go for weeks. another thing but i wont get into it because its really scary to me is the thought of eternity it makes me feel like i’ll pass out when i hear about it and i can’t stop thinking about it. i do very much believe in God but im scared my fear associated with it will cause me to not be saved and sometimes idk what scares me more. i have a intrusive thought everytime i get in the car with my family i think about us getting into a car accident no one every dies but everyone else is more injured then i am i hate that my mind does that. i just hope i can be in the car and not automatically think about my family getting hurt. my biggest thing is just the constant looping with all of these things. it’s hard for me to stop and let them go. i constantly need reassurance from others so i feel less crazy but i can see its taking a toll on others who don’t understand that i can’t stop. i just recently got diagnosed and honestly it felt like a huge relief having a name to it and understanding that i can get help for it. i’m going to start ESP but i’m nervous.

A little background of me and my boyfriend relationship. This is my first real boyfriend and we’ve been together for three years .when we first dated I was so obsessed and overthink ALOT and if I leave school early for a doctors appointment I’ll cry because I was scared that he’ll leave me or love me less if I didn’t spend that 5 minutes together after school. He”ll always reassure me and I’ll feel bad for asking him for reassurance every single day. I was basically that girlfriend. Before our three years I felt a change like I was okay that he didn’t text me after he left for work and I knew he’ll text me the next day ( he has a strict mom who barely lets him use his phone so I got used to it) and that’s when I worried if I loved him( that was February when my OCD started now I feel numb and that “ I don’t care “ feeling now ) Lately I’ve been feeling so empty , and that’ bothers . It’s like I can’t access my feelings the way I used to, especially toward my boyfriend. Sometimes it feels like I can’t feel love at all, even though I still want to be with him. Recently my boyfriend came over, and I was happy to see him, but I was also extremely tired and overstimulated. My dog was barking nonstop, my parents and sisters were around, and I felt overwhelmed. I don’t even remember how I felt when I hugged him because everything felt muted. I wanted kisses and wanted to rub my face against his because he’s so soft, and I loved kissing his cheeks, but I kept questioning whether I actually felt anything. When he talked to me in a caring voice, I felt warm and protected, but then my brain immediately questioned it by asking if I just liked being loved or chosen instead of actually loving him. I also compare him to other people. I compare him to couples on Instagram and YouTube who seem to communicate perfectly, and sometimes I even compare him to my sister’s husband because he’s funny and emotionally expressive. I worry that I’m expecting Erick to be like those people instead of accepting him for who he is. That makes me wonder if I’m not committed to my relationship. I constantly worry that we are going to drift apart which is my biggest fear .I keep reading stories online about couples breaking up because they grew apart, and I think that’s made me hyperfocused on making sure our relationship is “perfect.” I realize I’ve started treating Instagram relationships like a standard instead of just entertainment. One of my biggest fears right now is not knowing myself. I keep thinking, “What if I don’t know who I am?” or “What if my feelings change?” or “What if I secretly don’t want my boyfriend anymore?” I want to know my core self before I get older, but instead of learning about myself, I feel like I’m constantly checking myself. I’m also constantly monitoring my emotions like Do I love him enough?Did I miss him enough? Did I want to hug him? Why didn’t I feel butterflies Why don’t I feel guilty enough? Why don’t I care enough? What if I’m forcing everything? I feel like I can’t trust my own feelings anymore because I’m always analyzing them. I still have moments where I naturally miss my boyfriend, want to kiss him, love kissing his cheeks, and want to build a future with him but it’s like I’m doubting everything.

I noticed that a lot of times when I talk about my fears and make a step in my journey that I will automatically become better. I’ll get reassurance basically— or advice— and I’ll think, “wow, that’s really all I needed” and I’ll leave calm and happy. But then later, the deep anxious feeling returns, sometimes even worse. When that happens, I feel really defeated. Like right now. I finally got help and I felt seen and got some good advice and insight and got prescribed meds. I felt really happy and relieved but then I get disappointed it didn’t fix all my problems. I know I haven’t taken the meds but I thought the reassurance would be enough :,) obviously it won’t be for OCD but I seriously thought… In the moment I’m baffled that I even worry about the things I do. I notice the illogical sense of it and I think the realization that it’s irrational will make me not do the compulsion again or I’ll be able to calm myself better. But it doesn’t… it’s exhausting with the hope and defeated kinda cycle Anyone else experience this?

Hey guys this is my first post! I was wondering if anyone else has similar ocd themes and has some advice, I mostly struggle with thought broadcasting ocd where I feel like everyone can read my intrusive thoughts, which has been progressively getting worse over the course of the past couple of months due to lack of treatment at this time. It also spikes when I go through stressful events, for example I got rejected by my ex bf yesterday so my ocd has latched onto him specifically and is telling me he rejected me because he can hear my ocd thoughts even when we’re apart, but I’ve also had some experiences that feel like it’s validating my fear that people can read my mind, for example: I was taking a walk with my ex bf a couple of months ago during a really bad ocd spiral where it felt like my intrusive thoughts were cussing out every car that passed me and literally over a dozen cars that passed us either honked or rolled down their window to say something rude, and I was also getting a ton of sexual intrusive thoughts on that same walk, and when I was standing by the stop light waiting to cross the street, my grandpa pulled up next to me and honked and said hi, and then later that day he told my mom that I should “stop hooking” on the street 😭, I was wearing a pink tank top that fully covered me with a pink zip up hoodie and a pair of shorts so I’m not sure if it was the outfit or my energy. I’ve been practicing erp which helps a lot it’s just mentally draining to keep up with, and I also quit smoking ouid because I realized that smoking made the ocd spirals worse even though I’ve been smoking almost every day for the past 3-4 years so it kind of sucked but it’s for the better! I would be super grateful for any advice, I’ve searched for people experiencing thought broadcasting ocd on here but usually the posts are from well over a year ago so it’s hard to interact!

So I have posted on here before about how my Uncle is visiting for a week and staying in my room on the spare mattress I have in there but I have bad contamination OCD about s*m*n and I have not cleaned my room and it is eating me up with guilt and worry and now I am scared my house is contaminated because he is walking around touching stuff and now his stuff is dirty and last night when he visited I texted him this: “I need to clean my room I know you keep telling me to do it but I did not expect you to come over today and I need to wash my sheets since they smell bad and I wanted to clean the mattress and I need to clean my computer and the fan off because it is all dirty I know you already messed with the fan and my chair and the stuff but it is all dirty and I just have so much anxiety around it and it spreading around the house or onto to peoples stuff and it is paralyzing and Idk how to handle this right now and I just feel so scared and you should not have to deal with this and the filth because I was dirty and I feel like a criminal I do not know what to do because now your stuff is dirty and now you are dirty and we do not have body wash.” And then he read it at 5 am and did not respond so I just sent “Idk what to do” and he sent this: “(My name) just clean your room and wash the colors that I put by the washer this morning. You're overthinking this a lot” So after a bit of contemplating I put the covers in the wash and told him this “I put the covers in the wash but idk how to handle the other stuff the mattresses are dirty idk how to clean those effectively and the walls and the door handles are dirty” Because the door handles are dirty because I did not clean them after touching them after having a private moment and the mattresses are dirty because when I was scared to put covers on my bed (IDK why maybe it was another reason I didn’t) I would just have private moments on my bare mattress and this is gross at the moment there is a mattress protector on my mattress but it smells bad and the other mattress does not have a protector and I am scared that I did spread those germs to that mattress since I spend so much time in my room and stuff (I was scared to leave my room at one point in fear of contamination my house so I stayed in there for almost 6 days and yes things are dirty) But he responded saying “(My name) you realize I flipped over the mattress so the dirty side is down. The clean side is on top” but I was worried and sent this back “Well idk if both sides were dirty or not Idk if I already flipped it and both sides are dirty” And I also just remember maybe switching the mattresses out with each other so idk what is clean or dirty. But he told he also sprays them down and like idk how that even works I am still panicking because this is serious but a part of me feels like maybe I am being over dramatic but at the same time I think and feel sick that my room is that dirty with those types of germs and I could even let someone go in there or let the germs sit like that I mean I have a pile of dirty clothes in my dirty clothes bin that I know has those germs on it because those are the clothes I used and it makes me sick someone in a room so close to them but I am scared to even look or go in the room as I am scared to contaminated but I just do not know what to do. The final text I sent like 20 or so minutes ago said this “But I am also worried about the floor where you put your stuff (and your stuff which is probably dirty now) and the top shelf next to the desk which is also dirty” and he left me on read and I just do not know what to do know I feel like life has lost its color and I just want to lay on this couch and not move at all.

Hello everyone! Lately I’ve been having a really hard time sleeping. I’ve struggled with insomnia for a long time now, but this time seems to be different. For context: I used to have super bad relationship ocd and real events ocd. Now it seems like i have neither and sometimes feels like I don’t even have ocd at all. Well then randomly I started jolting up in my sleep and feeling like I randomly stopped breathing or I’m not getting enough oxygen to my brain. It’s this super weird sensation and it feels completely involuntary and I start to panic and sit up from my bed. I’ve gone to the ER, urgent care, and several other dr appointments and every doctor has said it’s for sure not sleep apnea because I’m not overweight and don’t have a large neck…lol However, they did give me a referral to the sleep clinic. So I will be doing that in two weeks. But while this has all been happening (almost a month now) I’ve also been having tons of anxiety, (mainly about not sleeping and other things in my life). I just got married and was supposed to be on my honeymoon right now, but couldn’t bc of my sleep/anxiety. During all my doctor visits, they said everything looked normal. EKG, head scan, chest xray, oxygen levels, and blood test. I was experiencing really bad acid reflux and they prescribed me something and it’s been helping so much, which maybe contributed to me feeling like I can’t breathe. I also just went back on lexapro but I know the symptoms to come. I feel like I’ve just been constantly finding what’s wrong with me lately, whether it’s mental or physical symptoms. I’m convinced I have orthopnea. But I’m so anxious about it (I sleep usually 3-4 hours max a night). Does this sound like health ocd to you? I recently found out my insurance will end soon so maybe that subconsciously did something to me. I have no idea what to do but now I’m terrified of sleeping. I also have a pulmonary respiratory test soon, to cancel out if I randomly got asthma again.

Hi! I don’t usually share in the community board but I wanted to share my experience to those starting ERP and/or struggling with OCD. I was diagnosed earlier this year due a recent onset of intense OCD symptoms/intrusive thoughts following some major life events (Although I have shown symptoms for years and had previous OCD “flare ups”). Feeling unsafe in your own mind and questioning your reality is something I would not wish on anyone. I remember reading posts from conquerers when I was just starting ERP and I found it really scary when people would say things like “I’m doing better but I still have bad days” because the idea of future bad OCD days made me think it was impossible to wholly enjoy life again. I’m not here to offer reassurance, but what I want to say is focus on what you CAN control and celebrate any progress. There are evidence based treatment options for OCD; have faith in the process and be brave. Go to therapy (preferably with an OCD specialist), do your ERP homework, research OCD, and ground yourself when the OCD wave tries to knock you down. We are strong and we can handle hard things. OCD sucks, I will never say it doesn’t lol, but I learned to make peace with my brain. A little gratitude and change of perspective can really go a long way. My advice is to know what you have the capacity to give and achieve depending on your current symptoms. If all you can do right now is delay compulsions or catch yourself after a compulsion already started, take that win and keep moving. Do that ERP even if you’re not perfect at it. Move with your anxiety so you can still make space for the present moment. Baby steps were the key to my success. So yeah, 6 months later, the difference between my life now vs when I was diagnosed is day and night. I don’t want to say “everything is okay and perfect” but my life is substantially better now that I have gone through/am going through ERP treatment. And maybe you will have bad days in the future (maybe, maybe not lol), but you are strong and can handle hard things.

Never considered this a possibility until every recently when everything felt like it clicked. I had met my current best friend in Junior year of highschool, and we only became truly close during our Senior year and the following few years. She's been basically the only person I've associated with (outside a few buddies I had before graduation) amidst my depression and my life basically falling apart. I've done a lot of rumination over my handful of years of having her in my life, and the conclusion I've come to is that I've been absolutely terrible to her, despite the fact that she swears up and down that it's not the case. The first point of rumination is just all the times I've said creepy/perverted stuff to her, tried to engage with her in a sexual way, etc. There's been so many moments throughout our 4+ years of knowing each other where I would say something dirty/flirty in hopes something would blossom, and it was either so ill timed she would call me out on it, or she didn't really realize the implication. A handful of occasions I had been a bit pushy/trying too hard without really realizing it, but as I've grown as a person over the last few years I end up remembering and feeling gross about it. I'm also struggling with a couple of false memories, or at least, what I HOPE are false memories, convincing myself that I either have tried/wanted to touch her without her wanting it at some point. She tells me that I haven't done that and she would remember if I did, but I'm so scared that I've wanted to do so at some point and the thought horrifies me. I sometimes feel like I only ever became her friend for sexual reasons, or something. Something I'm horrified could be true. A point my mind holds against me often is how I'll video call with her when she's in a state of undress, and it's like, I'll want to do it more because of it? As scummy as that sounds? What makes it worse, is that I talked to her the other night about things that we often do together that in my eyes are an intimate thing, whereas she sees them as stuff she does with close friends. Showering on the phone, stuff like that. Which makes me feel worse for pursuing a relationship like that with her when it was never there at all. The second point is largely a byproduct of the first point, where I had often felt immense guilt over my previous actions and would profusely apologize and deliberately avoid her for long periods of time. She's told me that I've caused her a lot of pain doing that to her, despite me feeling like it's the right thing to do quite often. So despite everything I've talked about, like I said, my friend doesn't have any issues with me. She swears up and down that I'm too hard on myself, and when I ask what exactly she wants out of our relationship, she says she just wants me to keep being who I've been, who in her eyes, is her chill friend she can talk about whatever with and play games with. All of what I've talked about isn't even a factor. Something me and her have talked about is how she's pretty dense when it comes to social things, so part of me can't help but wonder if I really have been as horrible as I think I have been, and she simply hasn't had it click. I care about her so much, man. Maybe high school me was only thinking about sex. I don't know anymore. All I know is that even if I didn't care back then, I DEFINITELY do right now. She's such an amazing person and easily the best HUMAN I've ever had in my life. That's why this is tearing me apart so thoroughly. The idea that I've been so horrible to the only person who actually CARES about me at all makes me lose sleep.

your body feels like it wants to do the thought? OK, let's break this down. This is all very common for OCD. Yes, I've had a lot of instances where my body wanted to do the intrusive thought. That's just normal for OCD. That's just how OCD works. You don't have to worry about that. --------- Also, you don't have to worry about the fact that the thought did not bother you. In fact, you WANT to get to a place with the thoughts don't bother you anymore, no matter how terrible they are . Remember the analogy of the tree planted by the river. The leaves from the tree fall off and float down the river. You can NOTICE the leaves, but you don't try to stop them from falling. You don't try to pick them up and put them back on the tree. You just ALLOW them to fall and then float away. These are like the intrusive thoughts. It doesn't matter how ugly or bad or terrible they are. You need to ALLOW them to be in your head. Don't try to fight them off. And don't feel bad that they are there. They don't mean anything! You don't have to have any emotional response of disgust toward thoughts. If you require yourself to have an emotional response to the thoughts (thinking they are disgusting or terrible or whatever), you are actually following a compulsion. This compulsion says this: "You are required to feel bad about the thoughts in order to prevent some thing happening or some bad thing from being true." This compulsion is a lie. Remember, the compulsion only feeds the OCD cycle ! The only way to break this is to just not care if the thoughts are in your head or not. You need to just allow them to play like bad music in the background, while you go out and live your life exactly the way you want to. In other words, You actually want to get to a point in your life where you just DO NOT CARE about the thoughts at all. You don't need to have an emotional response to them, because they truly don't matter. ----------- So, to summarize, you need to do two things: 1.) Practice allowing the terrible thoughts (and practice not caring that they are there) 2.) Recognize that the body sometimes wants to do the thoughts (and makes little movements or whatever it does), and that's all normal for OCD -------- Everything is okay!! You are all okay!!! This is just normal stuff that OCD throws at us.

Last night I kept waking up on and off. Because my mom was worried for me, me and my boyfriend are on a break. I kept waking up in the middle of the night on the verge of tears and panic and started messaging him before going back to sleep and waking up again later. This time, it said he posted on his story 2 hours ago when by this time I text 4 hours ago. Since then I've been horrifyed that he's angry at me. I continue to miss him, but my mind keeps saying "do you really miss him, or are you just bored?" "You're only with him because no one else listens to you about your interests." "Maybe you'd replace him." It makes me go back and analyze how I've treated him in the past. I was frequently annoyed, irritable, and a bit jealous of him due to insecurity reasons. And no matter what, Ive always been a somewhat emotionally numb person. I believe I lack empathy, and in general I seem cold. I'm so scared. I'm scared I'm just using him. I don't know what to do.

My pocd is pretty much completely gone and has now changed to me worrying if I’m attracted to teens (specifically older like highschool teens) This is incredibly scary because I’m studying to be a teacher and I’m going into the schools for observation this upcoming semester. I’ve never been worried about this in my entire life. I’ve always been incredibly excited to work with middleschool and highschoolers and this fear never entered my mind before a few weeks ago. I know that everyone is just going to say that this is POCD in a different disguise but this time it feels so much more threatening (largely because some of the time you genuinely can’t tell when someone is 17 etc. because they look older) I’m constantly worried that someone I’ve found cute or handsome is underage and it’s killing me. I’m worried I’m going to have to give up my dream of being a teacher

Please if you can see this respond. I have nobody to turn to with this and I’ve been stuck for days Over a month ago, my OCD ruined something I loved so much. I miss him every single day. I was in a beautiful relationship where we talked about our future every day, he swore it was supposed to be me all along, our story was adorable.. all of it. My OCD convinced me I was into all of these different guys, that I had all of these crushes, etc. it ended on a very bitter note and he said we were done forever. He went from understanding the OCD to completely abandoning it and fleeing. I recently saw him and after a while he told me he still loved me. He dropped the snarky act he tried to give and hugged and kissed me and said he knows I’ll get better and though I shouldn’t necessarily put all my bets on waiting, he won’t be anywhere I can’t find him. But now my OCD is getting worse. Fake crush after fake crush after fake crush. I don’t know what my real feelings are. I’m CONVINCED I HAVE A THING FOR MY MANAGER AND I TOLD HIM I DIDNT!! But in this “waiting” stage I’m terrified to like someone else and I keep feeling feelings for literally every guy I see or talk to. At the same time I’m mourning what I had with my ex because we don’t regularly contact each other.. he told me those words 3 days ago and I’ve been a mess. I know I’m going to see him this upcoming Saturday and he’s swinging by on my birthday Monday, and I can’t face him. If they are real feelings do I just let it go? I physically can’t if I see my ex, like I HAVE TO CONFESS TO HIM and he’s not okay with me liking other people if we’re in contact (nor am I) so it’s impossible. I keep feeling fluttery towards literally everyone and it keeps changing and I’m so done. I know my OCD plays a role but what if my feelings for all of these guys are real? How do I make the guilt stop? I miss my guy so much, he gave me so much and my brain is RELENTLESSLY destroying it and I can’t handle it anymore…. I’m so stuck. I can’t get back together with him until I’m better and I think I might not ever get better

Is it considered “normal” or at least acceptable in the eyes of medical professionals to have a separate therapist exclusively for OCD? I’ve been working with my current therapist for over a year now and I couldn’t imagine not having her in my life. I’ve never genuinely cared about or felt as comfortable with a therapist before and the last thing I would ever want is to stop seeing her. With that being said, I see her for (and she specializes in) my CPTSD, DPDR, trauma history, etc. and my OCD diagnosis was realized in the midst of this treatment. I already see her twice a week and I’ve been wondering if staying focused on our treatment goals together while seeking treatment for OCD/ADHD elsewhere might be helpful. Just curious if anyone else has dealt with similar circumstances.