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Hi i'm new here (30yo male). I suffer from pocd. I stumbled over child porn when i was 14 my life is ruined ever since and i can't wait for God to end it and take me home.

This is something really weird to share! When I was 12 I was with my dog on my lap and the touch of his paws made me aroused! I was naturally watching TV! Then I thought what if I used him to have sexual pleasure? And then I felt really disgusted by that thought! Like I was an animal pervert but I think it was a pretty irrational thought and totally a thought not a want to do! But now I remembered that moment and I can't stop feeling that I was horrible by having thought about it and asking myself if I had done it would I be nowadays a dog rappist? This scares me! Do you feel that this was a normal thought considering the age and situation or am I a disgusting person?

I haven't been officially diagnosed but I believe I have pocd. I have a therapist though. I have intrusive thoughts as bout my son. They cause anxiety and I have a bad habit of just ignoring them. Unfortunately though, there are also times I get aroused by these thoughts. I've also been pushing my son away because of it. I also had an incident happen last night that scared me and caused severe anxiety. My son was laying across my lap and I realized our privates were close to each other and I got aroused then anxious. Today my therapist suggested an ERP situation. She told me to go to a quiet room, preferably a bedroom, lay down and relax and think of my son hugging me and let myself get anxious then try to relax again. I tried but I didn't get anxious. Anyone have any advice that could help?

Ahhhhhhhhhhh I’m looking at pictures of my sorta gf and my pupils aren’t dialating but I was smiling and happy I dunno what this means help

i cut my lexapro/cipralex dosage in half (to 2.5mg) 7w ago and have been experiencing paresthesia (prickling, burning, cold, puns-and-needles feelings) on my scalp. i was on this ssri for 10y, and i am aware that i am going to have a tough time coming off. i am wondering if anyone else has had experience with antidepressant withdrawal syndrome and if you have also experienced paresthesia. if so, how did you cope? & how long did it take to resolve itself? thanks ?

Guys and gals, i here just few days but i want to say that im very happy to see how well we are coping with our demons. The community here is great! Ill share with you my story in short: I suffered from OCD most of my life. It didn't developed until 12 when i first experience really frightening thoughts that were devastating for 3 years. My period of in middle school was hellish, like every time the devil himself giving me a stab in my soul, hourly. I was so struggled with bad thoughts, false memories and poor self esteem. It was too much for a young guy, that was what i thought. I knew its ocd, but i tried not to put labels on it, but i felt so damaged. Slowly, i start to try to develop some techniques that were very helping me, because i could find my self going back and forth in the house at 3am, try to figure out those thoughts! I feel that I'm not them, but they're really strong! But in 2011 i start go get better, and better, and better - until i got 7 YEARS BREAK of those layers and and had such a peaceful mind. 7 years clean from intrusive thoughts. People didn't knew from where i came from, with all of the things i got my the last episode - its like working out hard everyday and after the thoughts are not longer there, you get a mirror and you can see how freaking strong youre. Now, this is just 1 part of my personal story and here im going to give you my advices: 1. Try not to 'treat' it as an illness, try to figure out what's going on in your mind. For most of the people ERP is amazing, and it is! But you can also try to think about "from what i am scared?", "what's going on deeper?" Those are very questionable things, but for every obsession there is core of realization. Were very, very smart creatures. Ocd use fake fear to affect our lives! Would we let it be? No! Were strong! Were warriors! Were smart and were worthy to be calm and peaceful! So therefore, it can take part of ERP - some obsession can be cured from this sight only, from my own experience. Its very hard, demand alot of focus, but its worth it. 2. The moment of the realization kick in immediately after we see that there is no real thing to worry from. It make us to "forgot", to be stressed, to feel scared but when youre after a decent therapy time - you feel that the thoughts was just a layer that is no longer exist, just because its not real! 3. If there is a doubt, there is no doubt - its ocd. When you got this idea, you treat 50% and start to cure yourself. 4. DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR YOURSELF! As 12yo i discovered that i love to write. I became really talented and really professional with it and today i writing songs, poems, scripts, stories and I'm a proud wrestling booker (: do something that you can be focused on because this is the strength that you have to not letting ocd rule you. Art is really suggested because with it you can express yourself. 5. Try to minimize everything toxic in your life - bad job, bad people, bad programs, bad reactions. Try just to minimize it. 6 ..... its the bigger one - DO NOT AVOID YOUR FEARS! i remember myself get the realization at 14 that i can't avoid things in the name of ocd or in any name because this is the way the bed demon get heavier. Once you learn it - youre free from ocd. 7. Dont forget practice until its became something that can be separated from you. Dont worry, its just another tool of wisdom we hold. Thank you!

anyone else on prozac/fluoxetine?

For all of the people out there battling hocd- im here for you anytime. For years since I was 14 (im 20 now) I thought that I was gay and I was just lying to myself. It gets better! You can tackle this!

When i get a gronail response im like pshh:))) okk man this hocd stuff again. Ill just masturbate thinking at a girl and itll all be gone. (Man image comes in my head) me : ? ok da fac man. Me: what if i actually am sexually attracted to this . And sorry if anyone grossed or somthing but I fap myself thinking about a homosexual scenario but nothing happens it feels like idk just beating the meat and im thinking (yo man da faq is this :)) so i stop. I really don’t know why i still get gron responses .. i think it s also a problem of porn and masturbation addiction .. i masturbate daily idk what do you think?

I have contamination ocs. This morning while putting away dishes, (the sink that i wash my hands most frequently in is the kitchen) a tossed a knife in the sink and the water splashed out and into my mouth. I can't wash the inside of my mouth! Now I'm freaking out! If it's not one thing it's another... My specific fear is emetophobia. Like i want to cry.

WARNING: POCD I need to know your thoughts... I'm panicking and feeling horrible This is probably one of the first events that made me wonder if I was a "p". (I'm female, 20s) Two years ago, in the summer, I went to a friend's house and I met her younger sister (8, at the time). She was very sweet and adorable and I liked her so much! She showed me her toys and she was always around me... I feared I was feeling some sort of attraction to her... And now that I am recalling the event, I'm getting so afraid that this attraction was, in fact, real. I'm on the verge of tears right now ... Because it was so strong... Believe me, this felt like attraction. I'm thinking about her as I'm writing this and I'm remembering the warm feeling I experienced (like I was developing a crush) - I just want to cry because I don't want to be a "p". I spent the whole day in panic and wondering If I was "p" and if I was attracted to her. I tried to dismiss the thoughts and enjoy the day. I've always wanted a little sister and one day (at that time), I wanted to have a daughter someday. I've played with her and talked with her. Later that day, we went to the pool and I played with her again and even gave her piggyback rides (which now, I know it was a mistake - because I am getting flawed (false) memories that I touched her butt but I'm almost sure that I only touched her legs when giving the piggyback rides but I'm afraid that I touched her butt on purpose too to be deviant! I feel like I would be capable of doing such a awful thing). I remember enjoying her company and wanting to be more time with her... But now I'm so scared that I had bad intentions, because "p" people want to be around children. I feel like there was more than "having a child/sister for a day" because of my strong feelings for this girl. I regreted this whole dayAnd when I went back to her house, I avoided the child at all costs. What do I do?? I feel so hopeless... I am crying like crazy, not knowing what to do. I feel like a "p". I am so scared that I was attracted to her and now I have this new false memory that scares me... Please help me... I'm in despair..This particular story weights on me. I'm reviewing it over and over (taking the false memory off) and I don't think I did anything wrong BUT I cant help but to feel uncertain about it... Even if I didnt do anything wrong, I still feel bad for not avoiding it. I felt like a "p" the whole day... I had these intrusive thoughts the whole day... Yet, I wanted to be near the child and play with her?? I was trying to dismiss my thoughts - I tried to fight them! but I can't help to feel that what I did was predatory! Or wrong! I have been crying so much about this subject... I have high morals... And everytime an adult plays with a child is usually a "p" or a predator... I am so afraid that my "desire" to be with this child was an indicator that I'm a p or a bad person in general. Please... I want to know your opinions (I also have another question. I also felt "dirty" all day. Are all of these symptoms normal in ocd? Do people with ocd can like being with children? Are even these questions making sense?) I can't help to reinforce this! I felt terrible afterwards - I regret it so much... I felt dirty during that event, after that event and even today! This was my first time (or one of the first times) dealing with with pocd... I thought it was my brain trying to get me... So I tried to fight it! But... I feel like shit for not avoiding her... I'm so afraid I actually felt attraction for her because it was so strong the affection I experienced for her... I feel like a p... I'm so done...

I thought the key of overcoming ocd was to be less anxious but me being less anxious makes me upset because it makes me feel like I want to be gay I don’t know why this is happening to me. Some of my friends are in serious relationships while others are in situationshipsnand I’m just alone and depressed and lost a year ago i was the happiest man on earth and now I’m just fucked up Curse this fucking illness and curse me for having it I feel like I’m the cause of this I don’t know how but maybe I caused this

It feels like I want to be a fucking lesbian. I WANT TO BE STRAIGHT. I’m so ANGRY

does anyone understand ocd tics and can explain

hey guys, haven’t been on here in a while because i had been doing really well with my hocd. but my attraction has still been gone. the physical attraction part has came back but then i would see guys i thought were cute and i realized i wouldn’t date them. i don’t know any of them so i guess that makes sense but it freaked me out and i kept obsessing over it. so i started analyzing it in my head and i was like omg what if i’m asexual. before hocd all i wanted was a boyfriend. and now i haven’t had feelings for anyone and i used to always catch feelings for my guy friends. and now, ik this sounds bad but now i like flirting with them or when they flirt with me but i wouldn’t date any of them bc i don’t have real feelings. this freaked me out and made me wonder if i’m asexual and i can’t stop obsessing about it now. i’m young and have never had a bf bc i’m overweight so i’m not the girl any of the guys want. and i think time having had never had a bf so i don’t know what it’s like, but i can’t picture myself in a relationship anytime soon. anyways, just wanted to come on here and vent and wonder if any of you have gone through the same thing. i know this was long but if you read it this far, thank you so much.

I need an answer to this please: does your ocd change? I have obsessive thoughts over something for months (sometimes years) then it changes to something else & the other thing doesn’t bother me anymore. For example, I used to have relationship OCD for years and years (probably 5 years) I’m still with the person but now I have a different ocd completely, I’m scared that I have no real close friends which I kind of don’t but everything reminds me of it and I have triggers and everything :( I hate myself, I’m also pregnant atm and it’s made me so much worse

I did my first therapy session yesterday and most of it was getting to know me but she gave me a really good tip to start with that I wanted to share. This is what is happening Thought: what if it’s not clean. There may be partials (germs or direct etc) I can’t see that will get on me if I touch that. If I touch it it makes me feel yuck, I don’t want the partials in me. Anxiety: starts to happen Compulsion: clean the area and get relief She said that the anxiety and compulsion will keep on going around in circles and will never go away if I don’t fix the thought process at the top. This is what she wants me to do. To just Recognize what is actually happening (as above) when I get the thought. Remember that I have OCD and some things I’m doing are rational (like washing my hands after I touch meat) and some things I’m doing are not rational (like wiping the door Handels multiple times a day because I “may” have touched it when my hands were not perfectly clean. Exercise: every time I wash my hands I have been washing them 3 times every time. Unless I’m touching something really dirty or like meat that requires you to wash that much washing 3 times is my OCD then washing once is enough. From now on she wants me to recognize that when I wash them once that is it’s fine. When I automatically go to wash them the second time remember the second time is the OCD, the second time is not necessary and even if i ended up washing them the 2nd time I need to tell my self that the second time was the OCD and try to resist it. I need to recognize what is rational and was is not rational and what is my OCD. Even if I’m not resisting right away just to recognize it starts to re train your brain and thought patterns.

Guys with hocd. Whats it like when you see an attractive male?

I suffer from POCD... It sucks and lately I have been suffering from a memory where I might have proceeded wrongly with a child. I hate myself and I want to kill myself.

I feel like I’m just gay. Omg how can I change so much I feel sad thinking about girls that way but I can’t think about guys without almost feelings MORE anxiety than girls. I don’t like the thoughts I want them gone. I want my attraction back towards boys. I wanna be able to crush on them without having tons of anxiety. I hate this:(