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Hospitalization fear - I can’t get over the “what if” aspect!

This is my first post. I have HOCD and I’ve had it for 13+ years. It started when I was watching a tv show and a girl accused her boyfriend of watching animal sex porn. I stopped and became frightened that I could be attracted to animals. Why? Don’t know. I never ever thought about such things. But I had a huge since of dread. Then I was able to shake that thought. But then I immediately thought what if you are gay. Then boom, years were lost because of this thought. During that time I also got caught locking doors repeatedly, but that passed and HOCD remained. Now I am married with a child. I love my husband and child. Once POCD popped up but it passed as well. Mostly I live in a state where ocd plays on a loop in my mind. I feel like a liar and fraud. I can remember being able to enjoy life before this. But now, I’m lost. Depression has kicked in and I can’t shake it.

“My freedom is in the therapist’s hands and I could get hospitalized and...” This is really bothering me. Maybe it’s because Pure O isn’t a real diagnosis, not many therapists know about it. Maybe if I used the scientific term? Non-Observable Ritualizers? How do I convince the CBT therapist I’m not crazy and just worry tremendously and any person who wanted to bring him to others, their last place they’d be is therapy?

Anyone else ever wonder if since other people apparently have these thoughts and don’t feel guilty then are they just a bunch of terrible people?? I have a hard time distinguishing what guilt is relevant or not and I’m struggling to see other people as “good”.

Accepting ur harm OCD thoughts is the hardest f*cking thing ever! It’s been more than a year and no matter what I can’t accept them.... I feel so evil mental and I feel I enjoy these thoughts... and don’t get me started with my vivid dreams lord I feel I’m gonna lose control and kill someone I hate or someone who’s been rude to me.

Happy OCD Awareness Week, everyone! What's one thing you wish people understood about OCD? We'll compile your answers (they'll be anonymous) and share them on social media to teach more people about what it's really like to liv with OCD!

does anyone else deal with emetophobia or throwing-up related fears with your ocd?? I know it’s supposed to be common but I feel like so many people don’t understand! pretty much everyone I tell about it says “well no one LIKES throwing up” and ugh! duh!!! I know! I just wanted to know if anyone else deals with it too

Am in ERP. Now able to wash my hands just once. But still avoiding touching the tap and door knobs. ?

I’m having some trouble; I just found the perfect apartment near my school and I went to speak with the company about signing a lease. I had a huge fear that what if my roommate is gay because I am dealing with HOCD. And guess what I find out today.. she’s lesbian. And I have nothing against gay/lesbian but my HOCD is starting to flare up again and part of me doesn’t care but part of me is worried :/ what do I do? I feel like God is trying to mess with me and I’m not okay with challenges like this. It’s the perfect location and apartment and now I’m thinking of looking elsewhere..

Why OCD is about fighting.. Concerns -> https://www.treatmyocd.com/why-ocd-recovery-isnt-about-fighting/ Quote: "You can view OCD recovery as a fight or a battle or a constant struggle, just like you can view your life..." I appreciate the approach, the intend, but it is not a question of how to view OCD, it is how it is.. to experience OCD. It's just that it just is, a constant fight. It just is. And it has nothing to do with every life can be viewed as struggle. Of course everybody has the usual problems with relationships, family, job, education, friends, health... If you have OCD it's a constant battle without pause and in addition to all the above. It's exhausting. Just a different opinion or even fact to the blog post. That's all folks

Anybody else taking sertraline (zoloft)? If so, I am interested to know what dose you are taking?

My OCD gives me this constant fear that I could be pregnant even though I have never had sex. When I’m with my boyfriend and I’m in his lap and we’re doing nothing but kissing I am afraid that sperm is somehow going to get near me and can get me pregnant, even with 4 layers of clothes between us. It’s very frustrating, especially since I know it’s impossible. The what if’s just make me miserable.

I put in my ADA form today. I can't do my job anymore at the pace I'm at teaching at two schools and not even a lunch break most days. I hit my breaking point last year, but chicken out. I met with two lawyers and got their okay to submit it, so I did. They said if they try to let me go we can fight them. 15 years I've been teaching more than I should per my union contract and now I need to make a change so my family doesn't lose me. Last year I had two suicide attempts in 10 months. Not acceptable for a job to lead me to that kind of stress.

Hey guys, my boyfriend is going on holiday next week for 2 weeks. I’m really worried how I’m going to cope without him around. I’m so scared that he’ll die or I’ll never see him again. Plus, he might not have signal for some of the time so I won’t even be able to see if he’s ok☹️ anyone been though this and have any advice on how to cope? FREAKING OUT

Religious OCD trigger warning, mostly about Christianity : My religious OCD is rampant today. I keep having thoughts like: am I really saved? Do I have any fruit in my life? Do I really believe I’m a sinner? Does questioning this mean I’m really not saved? The pastor said you have to know for sure, but what if I don’t? My biggest problem is that I work in ministry so I’m feeling like a big fraud today. The Bible and all pastors say I should have assurance on salvation, but not with OCD. I’m always terrified that I’ll be one of those people who serves in ministry for years and then realizes they were never saved. I used to pray for salvation every day and I really mean it, but then I question it. It is so hard

The guilt from my OCD is insane, sometimes I truly feel like I’m the worst person and I deserve death

Hi! Firstly thanks to everyone on this group, such a beautiful supportive network. I wrote earlier a few times but basically wanted some advice...so I’m a girl with HOCD so fear of being gay. And my wonderful therapist (who’s helping me with CBT/ ERP) is a female and she’s been amazing with help... and now my OCD is giving me intrusive thoughts about her (HOCD themes). Has anyone else encountered this? Is this normal ? And most importantly, so I persevere? Thanks again!

My counselor says she thinks I have ocd from what she knows so far. It makes me uncomfortable to hear that and I keep thinking about her face when she said it. I have spent hours researching it and I can’t sleep because all I want to do it know more about it. I google search on my phone and read article after article. Is this like an obsession? I don’t really get it. But I feel like I have to be the expert on ocd all of a sudden and I don’t know why.

POCD is the worst. It’s given me Four false crushes,and if I find a kid adorable, it says I’m attracted to them. I feel so weird. Not only because POCD is gross, but because I had a freak out that I was attracted to the yellow guy from don’t hug me I’m scared, because so thought he was cute ( not in that way), so I went to my friends and asked them if they thought he was cute and they were like “what”. This is really dumb

PLEASE HELP! I need some help/advice right now please! I’ve been sick for the past 4 months with adrenal fatigue, severe hormone imbalance, etc. For the past 2 days I have been having horrible racing thoughts about harming my children! Today I put my hand near my sons neck ( not on his neck) and I screamed out loud “ ILL NEVER HURT YOU”! Then I ran to the back of the house and started smacking myself in the face over and over because that was so terrifying and I never want to hurt him! Please is anyone dealing with this? What on earth does this mean! HELP ME