Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I feel gay. I physically feel gay. I’m so angry and wanna cry and hate this with a fucking passion. Why can’t I be straight. I want to be straight. I’m so scared I’m attracted to girls butts and always get intrusive images of grabbing them and squeezing them and they make me want to cry. What the actual fuck.

i’m so anxious I can’t take it i’m scared i’m going to be arrested even though I didn’t even do anything illegal (maybe????). I’m scared I did something bad but I forgot! I can’t do this anymore I don’t know how much longer I can put up with this shit anymore I hate my life and i’m not even an adult yet

I am a harm ocd sufferer,, i deal with constant fear and stress for many years cause of ocd. What is the lifespan for people suffering with ocd constant daily stress and depression.. i am 30 years old

I’m still scared I’m gay I’m scared to do stuff with another girl and I think it’s cause I don’t want to or I’m scared I’m going to like it? I don’t wanna :( This whole thing makes me sad (Also my ex and ex best friend I found out about their secret relationship last night)

When I feel that I have no control I want to kill myself

Has anyone had a partner that they didn’t like in the beginning of dating, but kept dating anyway and started to love them as a person, care deeply for them more than any other friend, want to be around them a lot...yet at the same time, not like them, feel no romance, but feel inner tension and frustration and want to run away? And when you would run away you’d be really sad and anxious you just lost the best person ever?

This is my first time using the app, I am a mother of a 30-year-old son who struggles with OCD/anxiety. This is all so foreign to me. I’m trying to educate myself and learn as much as I can to help him

When you have an intrusive thought/image and that same thought keeps coming into your mind even though you don’t want to ? it’s like it’s constantly there and I’m waiting on it or my mind is forcing it..OCD sucks and I know I’ve beat it so many times, it’s the same anxiety every time it returns

I don't have any memory of having attraction towards girls but my mind has made up scenarios I don't even know happened. Like I can remember all the times I had crushes on boys but I don't personally remember a time I liked girls. Now my brain has almost convinced me I'm bi/heteroflexible. Is this common? Can someone relate?

HOCD How do you tell people about your condition without starting to cry? I'm so affraid to talk to a therapist because: 1) I won't be able to talk because I'll just cry 2) I'm affraid of the answer - do I really have hocd or it's denial? Besides, I saw a Ted talk about a girl who has schizophrenia and that trigged me so much!!! Any tips? ?

My most recent issue was dating a guy I didn’t feel a spark for. I stopped dating after a month, but continuing as friends with benefits, we became best friends. I began to love him as a person, as a friend. And I became really uneasy about why I didn’t like him because he was everything I wanted. Whenever I tried to push him away, I’d get sad. And the sadness got worse and worse each time I’d push him away. And when he would be out my life completely, that’s when I missed him. But while remaining involved, I had anxiety, sadness, and some happiness all at the same time. I had excitement and then no excitement. I didn’t like him and did like him, and acted like I did. I was soooo confused with myself. I tried an official relationship and the little feeling I thought I had died. I went from wanting to be around him a lot to not at all. I went from wanting to talk to him every day to not. My anxiety went through the roof as I couldn’t handle being in it and couldn’t handle hurting him again by leaving. The anxiety affected my mood and my choices, and we eventually broke up. A 3 yr friendship and a 3.5 mo official relationship. And though I’m not tense the way I was, now I’m grieving again, which confusingly sucks. But I’ve now also learned through research that can happen to anyone, that you can grieve the loss of someone you don’t even like. But here’s my question. Whenever I’d read about ROCD, it always sounded like the person knew they liked/loved their partner but just had negative thoughts or feelings that were ocd based. Mine seemed different, in that the foundation started from a place of my heart never fully opening up the way I knew it would in the past with other guys....but this guy was much better than all of them. So has anyone else had this situation? Where you didn’t feel something from the very beginning and it was rocd? My therapist was confident it was, but I always second guessed it based off my own research. Always felt like I just needed to go date other people to figure it out. The great decision of being true to yourself vs rocd. And ERP didn’t help, which I started at the very beginning of the relationship. Nor did medication.

potentially triggering, related to medication and faking obsessions i feel fake because ive had OCD traits since early childhood but i wasnt diagnosed until i was 22 and begged for therapy because my parents think psychologists are all liars and exaggerate everything and even when i self harmed at 4 years old they never thought i should see a doctor. needless to say i have never been allowed to see a psychiatrist. they trust them even less than psychologists because "some of their friends were completely numbed by psych meds", so when i finally got a referral for a psychiatric visit they yelled at me and refused to let me see one or even do blood work to check for eventual imbalances or deficiencies, because "the gp was exaggerating" and according to them i didnt need it. now i feel fake because i think if i was REALLY mentally ill then medication would have been essentially forced on me, they wouldn't have had any choice but to make me see a doctor. people mentioning their medication gives me self harm compulsions. it hurts so bad because i know people who don't even have any diagnosis and still get medication, sometimes from private doctors like dietitians who aren't legally allowed to prescribe them since they aren't psychiatrists or neurologists. it hurts because i know they don't even have a disorder but are able to get meds the moment they feel a little stressed like a quick fix. i've been mentally ill my whole life and never had any chance to even see a doctor, and even my psychologist thinks i shouldnt get meds because they're not the right treatment for me, because "i dont come from a pharmacological culture" (i have pretty much never taken any sort of medication for anything except the common cold) and i have a strong resistance. it hurts. It hurts a lot. and it makes me feel fake, because real mentally ill people take medication. if im being told this it's because im not really struggling, despite my frequent self harm episodes and lifelong OCD and GAD. i dont know how to cope with any of this. it feels like im being ripped apart from the inside every time someone mentions medication. me not being prescribed anything is the proof that im faking.

Anyone is stillloving his/her ex’s after a very long time ? Like if your brain is stuck I don’t know if this is related to ocd but I am still loving him whereas I did not see him for a long time and I regret every mistake I did when we were together and there are a lot (and I know I have past event ocd for that point)

Internet related harm ocd false memory ocd symptoms Hello everyone i need advice, I was using youtube on my tv last night and i turned off the youtube app and turned my tv off and immediately had intrussive thoughts that i left a bad violent threatining dangerous youtube comment and when i woke up in the morning i immediately was scared that i didnt remember turning off my youtube tv off and was and still am scared that i left a violent threatening comment onmlm youtube that will get me sent to prison. This is the theme of my false memory harm ocd intrussive thoughts is the immediate fear after using my.cell phone or youtube app or playstation4 that i left a harmful violent dangerous threatening comment that will be traced back to me and i will be sent to prison for the comment,, deep down inside i never want to write violent comments ,, please can anyone help ,, i tried the stop sign technique , i read ali greymonds books on harm ocd false memory ocd , this ocd theme is very tough very painful,, i have the constant fear that when browsing the internet that i have left harmful violent threatening comments on the internet and that it will be traced back to me and i will be jailed for it. Very stressfull please any advice. Its painful cause i dont remmember turning off my youtube tv that night but i remmeber fear intrusive thought during that night about leaving bad comment and waking up with fear that i left a bad comment because i dont remmeber turning off the youtube tv and no memory of falling asleep. Its all distorted memory ,, i use cbd and medical marijuana daily to combat my mental pain of this false memory harm internet ocd symptoms

First post I need some advice. My ocd has flared up so much to the point I'm waking up on edge. My partner doesn't even want to listen to my problems anymore so feel I have no one to help me. I've lost sence it what is the correct thing to do in a situation. I'm trying hard to sort myself out. But it's difficult when you don't know what is the right thing to do. And all I want to do is spray everything with dettol. My biggest thing is dog poo. I don't even own a dog. But my family all have dogs. So no one understands my fear. My sons book bag touched the bottom of the opening of the inside of the car door. My thought is he's been to people's house he's walked outside he could have trood in some dog poo residue could of trode it on the side of the car when climbing in the bag touched it. Now it's on the bag. I want to ignore these thoughts and just let it go. But it's just so intense fear. That what if there is some dog poo germ on his bag. Argh someone help? I'm so fed up of these thoughts and connections. I just want to be the person I was 9 years ago. Also what erp examples are people doing with there therapist? I have tried looking online for examples of some but struggling. These are examples to do with contamination, hand washing, germs dirt. What have you done that has helped. Thanks xx

If I don’t hear my own obsessions used as an example on a podcast or article about why it’s ocd and not real, and how to get over it, I assume it’s NOT ocd and I SHOULD worry I hear other examples and think yeah but I can’t apply that to my situation because my obsession isn’t that one they talked about, I could be attempting to use “ERP” on something I SHOULD worry about

ROCD and quality time does anyone struggle to enjoy their partners presence or spending time with their partner with ROCD? Makes me anxious and worry they’re boring

I’m really struggling with my decontamination rituals. After washing my hands after touching contaminated laundry and spraying the contaminated area now my ocd is giving my doubts that I washed my hands after touching my contaminated laundry. It’s making me remember the steps I took in my head and I think I did it but it’s making me doubt myself x10. I can’t stop ruminating. Does anyone have any tips on stopping the thought process on”did I do it or not?” “Did I wash enough times or not”? Please send tips. Thanks.

My brain is telling me all I can see in my future is leaving my amazing bf to be gay and wanting to not live anymore. I can’t stop crying. It feels too real. I can’t stop panicking. I don’t want this. I don’t want this to be real.

So I had a therapist but he wasn’t really that great, he would just listen and give support, but never gave advice or gave me steps to help my OCD. With that came not giving me a lot of info on the type of OCD I have. He called it magical thinking, I see it all over google, but isn’t there another name for that type of OCD? I wouldn’t think “magical thinking OCD” would be the exact term. Is it rare or something? Also does anyone else have this type of OCD? I would love to chat with someone that’s going through something super similar!!