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the NOCD Community

Being perfectionistic is annoying. In my head I want to change the world and make it better and do anything and sacrifice everything to accomplish it (studying political science and environmental studies in college, getting an internship in DC next semester) But deep down... deep deep deep down... I just want to get married and have a family and do beautiful things with my kids and husband. I feel like I’m not a good feminist for saying that... and it feels a little selfish... but god, I just want to be happy. Is that wrong?

Sometimes I am proud because of my grades and I am afraid this make me a narcissist

hey guys so i have HOCD and there’s day it’s worse than others. i really like these 2 guys but i’m very insecure about myself and the way i look and im just super sad about everything because i really like them but i also have these thoughts where it’s like they won’t like you because of how you look all this shit right. and i also have these spikes where i’m like what if you won’t tell them you like them because you don’t actually like guys and that’s annoying cuz i really like them and i know i don’t like girls because it’s just not me. like at all. i get uncomfortable and weirded out if i have a thiught ab me w a girl like it just makes me cringe kind of and i don’t mean that to sound mean but that’s just what happens with me. i just wish this never happened because it started so randomly i don’t even know but i’m not very girly. i want to be girly im just so insecure with my body that i think i’m fat so i hide it with clothing that isn’t tight but i have all these things i wanna wear but it just scared to

Just for fun.... Do you have a favorite quote? It can be OCD related or not Mine is "and the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" by anais nin

Hi again for the third day in a row, can somebody keep me company and just listen to some rant? Please :(

anyone else with hocd on here please comment so we can talk :(

As the saying goes with rocd sufferers love is a choice or is love really a choice well If I break it down like this then yea I believe it is I’m choosing to stare in the face of ocd and scream u will not beat me I will rise from whatever he’ll u take me to to be with my partner no matter what damaging thoughts I think u are sending ur only making the future me stronger I yes I as a human being want to be with my partner and that is my choice as me not ocd so throw at me why ever u will I will grow stronger with every breathe I inhale u might put me to my knees but I will always rise up .... so is love a choice yes I believe so I choose to give my love to my partner whatever pain ocd decides to distress me with I was once happy so I can regain that ground and be happy again ... Keep fighting people

*Q + A* Hi Everyone! My name is Kerry and I have suffered from severe OCD since 2008. It came on after a bad car accident and I had shown no signs prior to that. I was 17 and now I’m 28. I saw many therapists untrained in OCD, and it wasn’t until I met an OCD Specialist and went through weeks of intensive therapy using ERP that I started to really question the connection between my obsessions and the effect I had on my reality by performing my compulsions which were totally random (anything you can think of!) I mainly suffer from magical thinking OCD which is basically like “superstition on steroids” - it follows along and targets with my everyday anxieties and my obsessions try and tell me if I perform certain, ever changing compulsions, that I can make or prevent things from happening. This has morphed into multiple themes of OCD, but also follows along with my real life which is hard. BUT I can honestly say I am in a state of ongoing recovery from OCD because I truly understand it’s sick game now and I am able to stop it in it’s tracks before performing compulsions. I’m not perfect and will always have OCD, but I wanted to open up a Q + A session today for you all to ask any questions you may have for me. To give you all some hope, I just published my OCD memoir “The Obsessive Outsider” and I’m so thankful to have added a resource to our world from a sufferer’s perspective. My goal is to eventually help you all get to a point where you can share your stories like I have because it’s so empowering. Hit me with your questions, friends!

Fear of psychosis. I don’t want to trigger anyone, but I’m having a particularly hard time with this “theme”. I’ve been on a high state of anxiety for days now about developing psychosis or already having it. I went to my psychologist and she claims it’s ocd. Basically what is going on is that I’m having obsessions over hearing voices. I’m compulsively researching etc and I fear I’m making it worse. I have intrusive thoughts about “hearing” a voice say something if that makes sense. Like I don’t actually hear a voice but I have a thought about a voice. It’s pretty scary and idk how to do erp with it. Also, late at night I have severely racing thoughts lately. Does this sound like OCD or something else?

I opened up last night to my boyfriend about my extreme fear of abandonment (which I have told him about before) When he confronted me about not being as forward with him sexually which is all linked to my fears of getting too attached to him and then him leaving me suddenly (because it happened to me once with no warning after spending ten years of my life with someone) His answer was hmmm I don’t buy it. It’s too convenient. I believed it before but not now that was months ago. Maybe you shouldn’t move in maybe we should dial it back a bit and stop seeing each other so much. So fucked up. Scared of abandonment so he abandons me

I was listening to a podcast that recommended the techniques used in the book Brainlock. Techniques like relabelling and refocusing were discussed. I heard somewhere that these techniques such as saying...its not me its my ocd....were actually counter productive. Any feedback from our facilitators. The gentleman speaking didnt mention erp once.

Anyone ever have ocd over objects? Like today I bought a little stuffed cute octopus and I keep getting obsessions like what if I have to take it back bc I don’t really like it? I feel physically sick and even had the anxiety shits after I bought it. Now I’m shaky and I’m thinking of returning it but I know this is all so stupid ??‍♀️

Can ROCD last for months??

Heya guys. First time poster here. I am a 27 y/o male living in Brooklyn who struggles with pure O. My obsessions are existential. I spend the better part of the day paranoid that everyone and everything is in some way a simulation that’s tricking me. Sort of like a rat in a maze. It’s incredibly distressing and comes with a slew of other obsessions: “am I crazy, is anything real, am I real” etc. just posting on here because it’s cathartic, and also wondering if other people share similar obsessions? I find it pretty uncommon based on what I’ve seen. Also if you’re in Brooklyn, would love to meet up and chat about our woes. Thanks!

Anyone have any tips for dealing with intrusive thoughts?? I don't want to accept them... I'm having such a hard time. POCD is making me doubt if I'm truly attracted to adult men and women... I keep telling myself that I am and I always have been but it doesn't help. The thoughts are horrible. I'm tired from all the anxiety. I can't even enjoy anything anymore..

I am feeling super depressed. My new happy romantic relationship turnt so sour and anxiety provoking. I am afraid to break up because I am afraid to lose the happiness and love I thought I had. They say it is bad if you don’t love the person, and you just love the idea of being with that person. It is very bad. And it is very hard for me. Valentine’s Day this week, and I feel absolutely miserable. I feel like I am letting her down because I can’t hold myself together anymore. And I don’t feel confident in our future. I am scared to confront her and break it off. Every time I do, I cave in to the lust and to the fear of being alone and failing again at love

Very detailed dream!! Deals with illness, insects, needles, suicide and other triggering stuff!! I had a terrifying and disturbing dream in which me and other people had a very rare and new disease. It was already disturbing as that also because the illness was carried by some very strange insects and we had to stay at the hospital with needles in our arms and stuff. At a certain point a girl (who had the most serious form of the illness) started screaming and she was covered in blood, and she was suffering so much that she decided to k*** herself...I woke up covered in sweat and almost had a panic attack. Does someone else have VERY disturbing and triggering dreams like this? They stress me out so much :(

Does someone have a strong interest in Pokémon? I do! I’d love to discuss!

Anyone else feel like they have to try REALLY hard to get people to love them? Or care? I feel like I have to be a little bit false and pretend I don’t have anxiety or people will leave or I have to trick people into liking me or it won’t happen

I’m withdrawing from college on Wednesday. I’m leaving all my friends to go back home and get intensive treatment at the Rogers OCD Center. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. There was all this fear swarming in my mind. “What if my friends forget about me and stop caring? What about my dnd campaign? What about the guy I like... what if he thinks I’m crazy? What about my classes? I’m supposed to graduate this semester.” All these thoughts terrified me. I couldn’t even imagine living in a world where every possible thing went wrong. However, after a while, things started making sense. I needed to get help. I couldn’t just keep pretending that everything was fine. Today I told my friends that I’m withdrawing. They cared so much. We had an impromptu party and all my friends were there. It was the best day I have had in a very long time. I’ve never felt so loved. I talked about coming to visit in the future and returning for fall semester. I talked to my dm about continuing our dnd campaign. Tomorrow, I’m saying goodbye for good and I’m even gonna work up the guts to ask the guy I like to play guitar with me one more time (we’re in a band together). What I mean to say is this: never scare yourself outta getting the help you need. When you do what you need to do, everything else will fall into place. Who knows, maybe things will be even better than they were before.