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Can we talk about relapse/lapse? I’m new to the nocd community. And OCD community entirely. I’m turning 27 and I’ve just recently been diagnosed with OCD back in December. I’m currently working through the storm of ERP and acceptance therapy, battling what I know now to be my 3rd OCD episode. I’ve had OCD since I was as young as 6. My first theme was fear of death. Mostly surrounding my parents. Second manifested itself once I was 11 and I had a fear of growing up. My parents put me in therapy at this time. Once I turned 15 (summer going into sophomore year HS) that’s when the themes manifested themselves into POCD, HOCD and harm ocd. I remember it was the scariest thing. I was confused, scared and incredibly crippled by anxiety. I couldn’t sleep or eat without having a panic attack. I was put into therapy but was misdiagnosed with generalized anxiety. I remember at this time my themes would change. One day I’d be scared of being gay, the next day I’d be scared I’d harm the little children I babysat every day after school. My POCD was so bad at one point I tried to quit my after school job taking care of the kids. HOCD I think was the hardest theme for me to overcome. Eventually the symptoms and the intrusive thoughts faded and I spent the remainder of my HS years living a “somewhat normal” high school life. My second episode hit when I found myself in my first emotionally abusive relationship. The stress and emotional rollercoaster he put me through was unbearable. This was my sophomore year in College now, I found myself in lapse #2 and this time it was my HOCD that I found debilitating. Fast forward 8 years and I’m in the midst again of ocd relapse #3, my HOCD yet again. This time I’m working through my OCD diagnosis with my boyfriend of 7 years and my supportive family. Telling my boyfriend all about my fears was one of the biggest challenges. I thought my ocd were quirks I would grow out of. But unfortunately that wasn’t the case. I’m working with an OCD specialist in Manhattan and he’s been introducing ERP as a form of treatment. It’s week number 3 and it’s not easy. But I am slowly beginning to see progress. It’s been amazing to finally realize I’m not alone. I’m sharing my story in hopes it helps other realize they aren’t alone either ❤️

Does anyone care to share what they’re currently dealing with with their OCD?

Hello I’m currently dealing with the fear and obsession of schizophrenia.. I’m so afraid of it.. I’ve seen a psychiatrist and they just said it’s ocd

I just had to cancel babysitting with 10 minutes notice because I had a panic attack. I feel terrible and my mom is pissed at me. The parents seemed to understand but it scared to go home now because my mom was so mad on the phone. I’m shaking and panicking. Everything has been so hard and stressful and I have no idea what to do. No one understands my anxiety and I hate it here. I just wish I could run away but I don’t know where I’d go or what I’d do. Please just someone give me some advice. I’m scared to go home. And I feel so bad and stupid for having to cancel because of a panic attack. I shouldn’t have any said I’d do it. I thought I would be okay. I’m not though. Fuck.

Having fears of something from 13 years ago when I was 21. Someone I was sexting with the profile mentioned she was a year older than me and I went on webcam. She cheated on me and claimed her 13 year old cousin changed it. My fears are what if the person I talked to was not really 22 but underage? The sex offender registry terrifies me. Never been contacted by police or anything like that, spoke to a laywer and my cousin whos a cop about it to a degree, basically he said they are really interested more in what is happening now and my friend told me that in most cases statute of limitations and that its a waste of time because minors get popups for live cams on adult sites and no one is prosecuted for that and the profile/pictures are of an adult so the assumption is the person in communication is an old. This has been causing me massive anxiety to search for legal cases involving this and it appears no statute of limitations exist on a federal level. This is assuming I actually broke any laws.

I’m having this issue where I can’t seem to think clearly at all. My brain feels heavy and like wet sand. I’m trying to identify my issues and what I should tell my therapist, but my brain won’t let me

Idk what’s wrong with me my friend is trying to set me up with a guy and she asked me if I found anyone cute and my mind went blank and I couldn’t think of anyone and now I feel like that means I’m a lesbian but last night me and my friends were liking changing and I saw boobs and I wasn’t turned on the thought of doing anything actually made me very uncomfortable :/

I'm really needing advice right now. The past 3 days I've suddenly felt so overwhelmed by my thoughts even though I was doing much better for like a week. I'm struggling so bad with just feeling very down, anxious, and all around just bad in general. I'm usually pretty good at keeping myself maintained, but today I'm just not and I have to work my job today. What do I do? I've already texted the crisis text line and told my boyfriend what's happening. I have a therapy appointment on Tuesday, but I gotta get myself to that point. I just really need some good advice and help right now.

Will someone please keep me company? I feel extremely bad because of my HOCD thoughts :(

Hello everyone, great to read so many posts. I’ve had OCD for 30 years or so and am going through a rough patch and pleased to find this forum. For me everything comes down to compulsions to “neutralize” bad thoughts. Those thoughts are invariably the result of thinking about someone (sometimes it’s just the image of their face) who I “ don’t want to be like”. It tends to be people I don’t rate highly or those who don’t conform to my set of ethics and morals. The anxiety that maybe, just somehow thinking about them might make it likely that an tiny bit of their ‘bad’ character taints mine, just by thinking about it, forces me to neutralize it with a (set of) compulsions. The anxiety reduces and then I feel guilty about being judgmental of these people (who are so very much UNLIKE me, the situation is almost comical in its ridiculousness once the anxiety ebbs away.) On the plus side I’ve conquered many other types of OCD I’ve had over the years. This one however, stubbornly remains and is hard to tackle when Im stretched elsewhere in life. n

I’m sure most if us struggle getting out of bed I was wondering if anyone has any tips for waking up and getting out of bed I need to put my alarm 2 hours before when I need to get up to be on time would appreciate it if anyone has any advise that seems to work for them

I need some advice, especially from other women. I've been doing better with some of my obsessive thoughts since last week when I started reading a book (it's Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts for anyone wondering, it's quite helpful) and was feeling close to myself again. Unfortunately, yesterday I just woke up feeling like crap and kind of depressed due to that time of the month, which in turn made my OCD symptoms worse. It feels like I just stepped backwards from the good feelings and progress I had in the previous week, so I'm feeling pretty low right now. I need some advice on how I can deal with this sudden drop in mood and how I can try to keep a positive and hopeful mindset during this. Also want to add that I have not done ERP yet. I was supposed to start that in the beginning of this year, but due to a switch in insurance I didn't get to start. Hoping that can get taken care of soon so I can start therapy soon because I think I seriously need it.

Hey nocd community! I won't be taking anymore questions at this time, but I look forward to doing another Q&A soon! For 12 years I lived in silence and shame with the debilitating symptoms of Pure O/Intrusive Thoughts. I believe every person living with mental illness is worthy of a good life, love, happiness, and deserves the chance to live in recovery.

Hi NOCD users, I’ve been very busy working with many new clients. I have learned from my work with each of you. I thought it may be helpful to share the steps of an ERP exercise for those of you out there practicing and running into common roadblocks. First, ERP stands for Exposure Response Prevention. We are working on preventing your response. When creating the ERP exercises, the NOCD app clearly walks you through the steps. Use it - because it works. First we list the obsessive thought, this is what happens when you get triggered. The upsetting, scary thoughts that cause distress. Listing the trigger is next, what set off these obsessive thoughts. A trigger can be anything - person, place, thing, real or imagined. The next step is listing the exposure. This part can confuse users. The exposure is the part of the exercise that you create to cause you to be triggered. This is different based on you creating a in-vivo - real life exercise or an imaginal exercise. Creating a script would be one example of the imaginal exercise. Try to think of specific triggers and that will make it easier to create the exposure. Lastly comes the compulsions. The compulsions are the thing you do not want to do! Try to stay with your obsessive thought - do not check in, not with yourself, not online, not by asking questions. Be careful not to ask yourself questions or anyone else that is reassurance seeking. Also, remember that distracting yourself from the thoughts or avoiding focusing on the thoughts is still a compulsion. Stay with your thought until your anxiety comes down and is at a manageable level. Practice this exercise multiple times until your distress level stays at a manageable level. If you do this, you have completed your ERP exercise successfully. Congratulations! Keep up the good work and practice, practice, practice! If you are struggling, get treatment with a trained ERP therapist. Wishing you good luck ?

Who would like to talk abt random stuff with me in this valentine's evening European time? (Im 27 yo) :)

I wanna talk about something pretty serious and pretty complicated relating to my guilt. If I say something wrong, please tell me and I'll correct myself. I don't wanna be a bad person and I don't know what to do.

I’m scared that accepting uncertainty is just me avoiding the possibility that I could be a pedophile.

How do we know for sure it is ocd and not the truth ?

Hi all, I'm really struggling with HOCD, I am a married straight man, it started off when I was at work and someone mentioned about a tv presenter coming out as Gay after having 2 children and a wife etc. For some reason this has really triggered me and I instantly started thinking oh my god what if that was me? What if I'm gay etc. And now I have been off of work for a week. I did have sexual activity from my wife which got rid of the thoughts for almost a day, but then they have come back!!!??? Also it may help you all to understand. I do not find men attractive, I do see and understand a good looking person but I am not physically attracted to men. But feel like my brain is trying to convince me otherwise. I have been prescribed sertraline (Zoloft) and I am waiting for that to kick in, does anybody know what I can do?

I just joined this site today. I am a senior citizen on medicare with OCD and never knew what it was until the last 5 years. I suffered greatly. The therapists that I have seen were not OCD therapist so their treatment was trying show how incorrect my thoughts were and think of a positive thoughts to replace the irrational OCD thoughts. Even though I got diagnosed,I didnt have money to pursue treatment. OCD therapists seem to charge cost prohibitive prices unless you are rich. Currently, I found an OCD therapist, but it only lasted a few sessions due to money. I took benzodiazepines for my OCD because doctors thought it was just anxiety when I told them I couldnt sleep and that was the wrong drug to take. I am having to come off of this drug because I became horribly dependent on it. It has been hard and it is still an ongoing process. My OCD is of the garden variety. It is constantly morphing to many many themes. The main themes it settles on are sexual, harm, magical thinking, contamination, counting, perfectionism and hyperawareness of body. Currently it is about sleeping. I have thoughts such as, am I sleeping, will I be able to sleep, if I dont sleep, will I die, and any variations about sleep. This has caused me to be extremely sleep deprived and a continued reliance on benzodiazepines which frankly makes OCD worse and does not make me sleep. I am working to get off but it has been difficult. I have a doctor who gives me the drugs, but she doesnt understand OCD, and she is stymied when I cant get off of them in a timely manner or stay on a regular dosage. I told her when the OCD flares, you would do anything to stop it. I am glad to be here to get help for my chronic disease that is getting worse because I had it for over 50 years and and not getting treatment for it. I am now currently trying to do something to help myself get out of this OCD rabbit hole. Appreciate comments from the OCD community.