Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I want some Christian friends ? just someone to talk about God with or go to church with or just hang out with. Sometimes I feel like I’m more mature than the people in my class. Talking with older grades is so much easier ??. Let’s hope God guides me through this. Lol take care

So I cant remember if I've ever asked this here, but has anyone ever done something awful that their ocd convinced them to do and now can't let go of the guilt? And I dont mean like terrible terrible things but like lying to someone, cheating, or something else that can cause heavy guilt. If so, how did you get past this? I feel like I'm not sure how to forgive myself when my moral code is so high.

I need some advice, I believe I experience existential OCD regarding a story a read years ago called "The Egg" and the thoughts and feelings I get from it can be unbearable at times. I just had my first ERP therapy session today, and the first exposure wasn't too difficult for me and I didn't find that to be the really difficult thing about today's session. The difficult part was when I was trying to tell my therapist about my thoughts and I became super emotional to the point of nearly crying. That, and the way she was trying to get me to think about the story just made me feel more anxious and stressed. I came home after my appointment today and cried, and I've had no motivation to do anything at all today. I feel like my emotions and thoughts are unbearable right now, and I'm wondering how normal this is when first starting therapy? I know therapy is not easy, but I'm having unwanted thoughts over reality, existence, and other people being individuals, and the other people I love in my life are the most important things to me so this is very difficult. People and my beliefs have always been what's able to ground me in times of stress, but now I don't know what to do. I'm having trouble just feeling like I can carry on with my day, let alone another week until I can talk to my therapist again. These thoughts don't just make me feel anxious, they make me feel depressed.

Oof don't you just love it when your cat leaves a poop nugget outside the liter box ? Did t notice it at first so now I have to deal with being terrified I've got cat poop on me until I next shower. Greeeeeaaaaaaaaat ??

I'm struggling with ocd and hocd what helps you on bad days to feel better and to ease the symptoms because it's really bad

Does anyone suffer from Real Event OCD?

Can any Christians out there please help me? Do any of you feel that God isn’t forgiving you? I feel very defeated against my OCD and that I feel like praying isn’t doing anything because God doesn’t want to listen to me. There are some parts of the bible that scare me, where God says that if we don’t confess our sins he won’t forgive us, which makes me obsess over if I’m confessing correctly. I feel very conflicted about my past and I’m worried that it’s a weight too heavy for God to carry and forgive me for. Even saying that makes me feel like I’m sinning because I’m not acknowledging God’s power. But I can’t help it because it’s just how my brain works. I wish there was more in the bible to do with mental illness. Any of you have any advice on how to deal with this?

It feels like I genuinely like it there is no way ocd can be this convincing :(

I have been dealing with harm/suicidal intrusive thoughts OCD since August of last year. I know I don’t want to act on it and I love my life/family/etc., plus these thoughts and feelings have been extremely distressing for me, but why are there many moments where my mind says that’s actually what I do want or it tries to make me feel ashamed for being with my family or planning for the future. It scares me because I’m afraid of actually truly feeling that way or afraid of becoming depressed and wanting to actually do that when I know I’m not depressed.

My name is Chrisa. I've suffered with OCD for over 30 years. It's gotten worse lately, especially since my elderly kitty has gotten very sick, plus other stressors. It's never been this bad. My rituals involve numbers, counting, among other things, in response to stress and the thoughts of preventing my cats death and other "bad" things from happening. I know there is no logic in this, it's ridiculous, it makes no sense, yet my brain feels what I call " hijacked". There are few people that know I have OCD. My own husband doesn't know. I've learned how to hide it well over the years after being ridiculed by family members when I was a child with OCD symptoms. I'm in a tremendous amount of distress. No drugs have worked for me, nor has RBT or CBT.

I am obsessing for pm a friend of mine. My family thinks she Just uses me and she is not a good person for me to be with. In the other side I dont have any friends, and I would love that feeling again, and not feeling lonely... I Just dont know what to do...

Does anyone here vape to not stress out about their OCD?

I’ve posted before about my issues with my therapist I’ve been seeing. Well, today I’ve decided to find a diff one. The sessions don’t feel constructive to me. She doesn’t seem to recognize my signs, and they charged me $130 vs $80 because I didn’t pay at time of session, even though I tried to pay it and they told me to wait for the statement in the mail. I’m discouraged. I want help, I want therapy. This experience is making me feel less hopeful for recovery and it feels like this impossible feeling is even worse. Idk what to do.

Hi can somebody just keep me company? I'm just in so much pain and doubt :(

Hi. I'm new here. I haven't been diagnosed with OCD but I do suffer with excessive and obsessive thoughts and worries. I am stuck on an endless loop of worry since my son suffered a traumatic injury in January. My son has epilepsy and learning difficulties which is making things harder. I have little support and I'm finding the whole thing difficult

Looking for suggestions: 1. Any tips on retraining the negative brain? Does anyone do daily affirmations/and or gratitude and has it helped you become more positive in life? Any other suggestions that help you? 2. Do any of you write your worrysome thoughts down as they come in throughout the day? Does it help you? I'm reading The Worry Trick and he talks about doing a loop tape or just writing your thoughts down can reduce their importance and eventually the topics become boring 3. I've also read somewhere, responding sarcastically agreeing with your thoughts, this can reduce the importance of the thought. Does this work for any of you and how do you make sure you are responding to these thoughts?

How long do your episodes of intrusive thoughts occur for you? I used to describe myself as an anxious person for the longest time. In April the anxiety exploded (I don’t know exactly why this happened except for that I had multiple things happening at the same time such as moving, getting the flu, and going on vacation with a friend who we recently had a big shift in our relationship) and I couldn’t function normally, in that I couldn’t sleep, eat, or even just sit there without feeling absolutely awful, as well as kept thinking and fearing for the safety of my family. That subsided after a week and a half. In August an anxiety episode started again for the second time but this was the first time ever in my life that I got an intrusive suicidal thought which terrified me and then stuck with me! These thoughts lasted for about 3 weeks straight then began to subside, and during this time o had started buspar, but later stopped at the intrusive thoughts and anxiety went away plus the buspar was giving me lightheadedness. I’m currently in my longest episode with these constant suicidal intrusive thoughts. It started back up in the beginning of November and continues til this day. Every single day this has been affecting me and almost every second thought is about that. Some days are better where it only happens a few times day and doesn’t bother me terribly, but then other days like today it’s constant and has me terrified I’m going to lose control or just give in. I have to keep telling myself that I love my family and my life and have so many plans for myself and yet I feel I’m being tortured by my mind constantly. I used to think my faith was being challenged in these hard times so I would pray and read my Bible constantly in search of relief. I told my parents how I was thinking and feeling and it made me feel worse then they became scared for me. I started seeing a mental health counselor in December for this problem and while I’m glad she is working with me and hasn’t called 911 after me telling her what I’ve been struggling with, I still get skeptical about the techniques I’m being told to do, such as yoga and whatnot. In the moments where I feel I got a grasp on it, all my doubt disappears and I know I will overcome, it makes me feel to free and happy! And then the next moment I feel under it’s thumb and I’m freaking out that I will lose control or give in again. I can’t read or see anything related to suicide as it causes me great distress. I’m terrified to be near my closet or look or be near belts for those reason. Sometimes I can’t decide if I should laugh or cry because I wonder why did my life turn out like this and why is this happening to me. I have plans to enjoy being with my family, finally got a job after searching for a year, plans to start dating this year, plans to travel and enjoy my life, and these stupid horrible thoughts are trying to ruin it all. I’m sorry this changed from a question to a rant. It brings some comfort to look at the other posts and see we are not alone, but now how do we overcome?

I’ve been in ERP since early October and my HOCD still isn’t under control. Is that normal? I feel like so many people say they were only in ERP for like 3 months before they could finish. I’m so worried this means I don’t actually have OCD.

I have cocd and there were times, when I was having "weekends without ocd". I choosed some clothes, took only my phone and was living without ocd for the weekend. I slept on the couch (to not contaminate my bed) and didn't enter my room (for the same reason, I was using things everyone use). After the weekend I showered very intensively and cleaned my clothes. And I felt good during the weekend, but it was because I knew that my things are safe and clean and I will shower afterwards (i took normal showers in the weekend, but at the end was the decontamination shower). It was when I was in high-school, but every now and then I'm thinking "I was feeling good during the weekend, when though I was contaminated. So what if I would just let myself get contaminated at once?". Have you ever thought about going all in? Have any of you done that? Had anyone succeeded like that or is it too extreme?

Guys, I need some help. So, I am in this situation that I like this person. And this person is what some psychologists call Dismissive-Avoidant because they normally avoid intimacy. I, myself am an Anxious-preoccupied, because I seek too much attention. It happens that I am doing research about it and some people say I should let him go and find someone who is Secure because I will be happier. It happens that it is also possible, according to psychologists that I can have a healthy relationship with a dismissive avoidant person but at the same time, I should be aware that it will be hard and I will see myself many times pushed away because that is what Dismissive people do because of their attachment style. It happens that I was ok with the idea of still fight for this relationship because I like him. But today, as I was alone, I had this enormous doubt whether I should leave this all behind and try and find someone who will be intimate and be with me. It was tempting and scary because I don’t want that. I don’t want to lose this guy but I get scared I am putting myself in a situation that will lead me to be unhappy and unfulfilled. But I don’t want to lose him. I think this is OCD because I am ruminating this a lot since I had the thoughts, and I also and somehow distressed. But I am afraid I will be stuck with this idea forever. Is this really OCD? Am I in denial that I should leave? If it is OCD, what can I do to let go of these thoughts and feelings? Please help and give me some word of advice because I cannot sleep or stop worrying about this! Thank you