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the NOCD Community

One minute he’s asking me to move in, the next he tells me to go home

The caudate nucleus is part of the basal ganglia, located deep in the center of the brain. The caudate nucleus controls the filtering of thoughts. Sensory information is sorted here. Normally, unnecessary information is disregarded. In people with OCD, the caudate nucleus isn’t as effective at filtering, so they become overwhelmed with intrusive thoughts and urges. The caudate nucleus of a person with OCD is like a doorman who does a poor job keeping out the undesirables. The above paragraph is an excerpt from: The OCD Workbook:Your guide to breaking free from obsessive compulsive disorder

Advice for a POCD sufferer? I know I would never harm a child in any way. The thought of being capable of doing that disgusts me. Am I asking for reassurance? Probably. But you know what, I need it and I’m being honest about it :( this “uncertainty” thing is very weird for me especially bc it’s POCD . I just want the thoughts to stop

How do you combat doubts about something so nuanced, like sexuality? For me, it’s not as clear as turned on by one over the other. I’ve only felt physical attraction toward one sex but can feel aroused by another when viewing sexual images/material. I do not doubt that this is common. I just want some help with fighting back against these thoughts.

ROCD: I keep getting thoughts that my partner thinks he’s better than me and that I am not seen for my complete worth in this relationship. I keep analysing my boyfriend like ‘he hasn’t given me much attention tonight’ or ‘he’s only hugging me tonight from behind whilst I do the dishes because it’s a typical thing to do. And thoughts like am I being manipulated? And my boyfriend is already a very know it all kind of guy so this triggers my ocd and when I talk about something he always knows more about it or my mind says can’t I just have this moment for once? Why does he always have to be better? Any help here. My ocd is definitely making this harder for me.

I don’t really post that often, but I have been really struggling lately. My struggle is with Health Anxiety (Health OCD). And lately with this coronavirus situation going on right now has thrown me down a rabbit whole and fear. I feel so helpless and vulnerable. So alone. I feel lost. I fear becoming ill but I also fear compulsions, as medical professionals recommend frequent hand washing, sanitization, etc. I don’t know what to do anymore. Waiting listed for ERP.

Contamination OCD sufferer here. It bothers me to no end that almost everywhere in the world they have normalized bidets except here in the US. I can keep our home bathroom stocked with flushable wipes but my husband says a lot of the time he goes while at work. I want to give him some wipes to bring to work but I know he won't carry a package of wipes into the bathroom with him because someone will see! Lol. This is bothering me maybe more than it should. If you had s**t on your arm you would use water to clean it, not a flimsy bit of paper! It's really upsetting me to think about the germs. We need to catch up to the rest of the world

At a point in my life where I don’t know what to do with it. I quit my job for another job, I’m not sure if I want this job so I’m currently unemployed. I have no motivation and am constantly looking for “the meaning of life” in an existential OCD type of way. I wake up, I skate, I eat, I sleep. I don’t understand the meaning of that? Life is 12 hours awake & doing stuff until you just have to go to sleep again how do I get my mind out of this loop?

It’s interesting and frustrating how OCD tries so hard to keep a hold on your mental process once you are going through recovery. For example, I told a guy on Instagram that he looked handsome and I immediately was overcome with guilt. My brain was telling me that I had cheated on my boyfriend, that I had ruined our relationship, and that id never feel right again when my boyfriend was showing me affection/love. He knows about my struggles with POCD and I have started letting him know when I get overwhelmed with it. So this morning after beating myself up and nearly breaking down in tears to him, I told him that I had told a guy on Instagram that he is handsome and that my brain told me that was cheating on him, etc. He was not angry at all, gave me a “seriously? Come on!” and assured me that he was not angry in the slightest and I had nothing to worry about. OCD will try it’s hardest to maintain its hold on your mental process. Recognizing this is half the battle when going through recovery.

I don't know what to think of my thoughts anymore. I am still having a lot of intrusive thoughts about my cats and dog, even in my dreams. It feels like my mind is telling me that I secretly enjoy these thoughts. I don't know what's real anymore.

I’m sure I might have BPD as well as OCD, but don’t wanna have it diagnosed cuz of the assumptions. I dont want to be misinterpreted as manipulative, aggressive or abusive because of the stereotypes (my partner has always said I’m the most calm and often TOO understanding person he ever met) But I do get the “inward anger” towards myself. Like, thinking I am utterly worthless and if I died no one would care. I often think something bad needs to happen to me for people to wake up and care. No one knows it though as I hide it from fear of people thinking I’m crazy and leaving me. I feel I have to frantically scramble to not be left. I fear abandonment to the point where I think I’d prefer to die over that happening. I have zero self esteem and feel I have no personality anymore. I think in black and white. People are cunts or they’re not lol ? I’m great or I’m worthless (100% worthless most of the time) I adore my partner more than my own life. to the point if he left me, I think I’d have to die to avoid seeing him with someone better than me (I wouldn’t do it though but it seems to be my only “solution”) imagining him leaving me all day everyday is agony I feel like I’m being sliced open every second and I feel sick. I don’t want the label though cuz people are saying Caroline flack might have had BPD, and I think she’s vile for what she did, suicide or not. I don’t agree with abuse - male or female. so I don’t wanna be associated with an abuser. Everyone is saying she’s evil if she had bpd so I really DONT want that association just because I hate myself and don’t want to be abandoned. Anyone know anything about DBT? I bought a DBT work book but I’m not telling anyone in my life as again, I don’t want the negative connotations. I’m a gentle person to everyone except myself so if I got tagged as a bitch I’d be mortified when all I want is love and acceptance and I feel I lack it

I truly can not stand the way I feel, my brain feels, my body feels. Please take this away. I am truly just dying day by day. I can’t stop thinking about how I’m just going to lose my shit and lose my bf all because I can’t get this FUCKER ex out of my head. Is this ocd or do I actually miss and want him? There’s no way I could after how toxic our relationship was. I can’t. I wouldn’t allow myself to be with him again. But the thoughts won’t go away. I want nothing more than to just be with my bf WHO IS AMAZING and fuck off rocd and fuck off my ex and just be happy with him but I’m scared I won’t ever get past this. I don’t want to live anymore. I thought I was fine and put it in the past and didn’t think about him and then rocd came on and then I’m about to move in with my bf and just bam. All of a sudden this bullshit about my ex just surfaced out of nowhere and I have not seen or spoken to him in a year and a half. What in the actual fuck BRAIN?!?!? STOP

I have a true fear of developing schizophrenia and I’ve just became so obsessed with the fear .. been to a psychiatrist they said it’s ocd .. ok well I feel like if I don’t have it I’m going to loosing control anyways by always thinking about it every second of the day ? I’m reallly trying to pull myself out a dark spot..

I’m beyond repair i think I just realised from watching YouTube videos I have love addiction and he’s love avoidant and ironically you ALWAYS attract the opposite I know I have ocd, think I might have bpd (the idea of him leaving me makes me think I would have to die or I won’t cope) I have zero self esteem don’t know who I am or what my personality is anymore I hate my job I have no control over ANYTHING in my life

Please Read. Hey I'm going through some friendship problems that are made worse with my OCD and Social Anxiety Disorder and I need some advice. Please. I've never had any TRUE friends my whole life but I feel recently I have met some, I've known them for about 10 months when I moved near. My best friend, Anna, recently moved away but most of our group thought she was just a silly nutcase. But I see her for who she is and I love her. My go-to friend when I'm depressed, Sabrina, becanes friends with me after one day I had a really bad panic attack and dumped all my shit on her like a total asshole but nonetheless she would tell me that she cared about me and that were friends no matter how many times my insecurities made me question it. She has no idea how much I appreciate and Respect her. Another friend is Jessica, she also has OCD and her and I are alike in some ways. Her simply being there reminding me that I'm not the only one is really comforting. This week I was depressed because Sabrina was unusually cold to me (later I found out that she is going through something and is being to everyone because she is sad) and I told Anna that I was depressed and thought that Sabrina was fed up with my bullshit. Anna told me that one time she saw Sabrina and Jessica laughing at me behind my back after Sabrina complained about me. I was really hurt and depressed I immediately texted Sabrina very accusingly and she got so offended that I believed it and told me never to speak to her again after saying "thank you" so that she wouldn't have to deal with me anymore. Then I spoke with Jessica much nicer, she was hurt but understood that I was hurt and panicked and didn't stay mad but also said that it wasn't true. I told Anna that I didn't believe the story and she got mad and hurt from that, later she thought back and remembered that it wasn't even Sabrina but Jessica and another girl. I'm really mad at Anna but I don't know if she was lying or was confused because she overhead half of a conversation half a year ago. I need advice for 3 things. 1. Sabrina is going through something and her best friend suggested that I give her space but I want to help her while she is depressed and be a better friend, what should I do? 2. In the new story, Jess was laughing at with someone else but I know it's not like her because she knows that I have OCD too. Should I confront her again? She asked me to drop the subject. 3. Anna says she's being serious and I don't want to think that she lied to me and was just confused but right now due to this, two of my best friendships are on hold. What do I do??

My mom is really against me taking my meds prescribed by the psychiatrist.. (Prozac 10mg) I really feel stuck I’ve tried it all I’m so tired of suffering... everyone always says they understand but they don’t .. they say do something positive but they don’t.. I’m just tired mentally and stressed and tired of crying .

Having a really hard time right now. Been feeling upset so I was reading about HOCD and searching videos and found one and read through comments. The girl who made the video commented that if you don’t have OCD with other aspects you’re unlikely to have HOCD. This has been one of my biggest triggers for me on and off, like I have never had ANY other theme of OCD, I’ve had the same sort of obsessional thinking about my gender but never about like contamination or harm, and this would ALWAYS make me think I didn’t really have OCD. When I read this girls comment my whole body froze, I felt sick in my stomach and started to cry. And I don’t know if it’s like me ‘in denial’? I can’t figure it out.

just wondering, has anyone talked about their obsessions or compulsions to someone they trust, like a family member or a friend? if so, how did you guys start talking about it with them? because my therapist suggested for me to find someone i trust in talking about my obsessions so that i can work with them to help rationalize my thoughts especially when it gets really intense and when i don’t have my therapist to help me in the moment. like i really do need someone else’s opinion or for them to help me come to my senses into the rationality/logical reasoning, but i don’t exactly know how to approach them or how to really start talking about it with them. & like another part of me is holding back from talking about it to my friends or family because i don’t want to feel like a burden to them...

Brag and boast! Share something you're proud of. It can be related to recovery or not. I just parallel parked in a super tight space!

I made an appt with an OCD specialist and was told it was only $50 per session At 90 minutes, and you get billed once you complete your session. Also no obligation regarding how many sessions you need to do. I specifically asked this. While going to my profile its showing I'm set up for a diagnostic at $100. I can message them tomorrow but right now I'm a little upset and very confused. Can anyone please explain this to me?