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Anybody else’s ocd stressing out about corona virus?? ?

Is anyone else starting to regret treatment? I had moderate contamination OCD gr hat I had JUST gotten a handle on, and now because of COVID-19 I feel like the world suddenly expects me to act...exactly the way I was, and I KNOW the difference, but I’ve been guilted out of purell as part of “treatment” and now we actually need it I don’t have any and feel guilt buying it. I’m just really starting to wish I’d never gotten help ?

My hocd has just been horrible today. I’m so anxious, but super confused because like I’m having hocd problems but an hour ago I cried over my ex-boyfriend again. I just want to say, in my heart and gut I know I’m straight I just want the confusion of ocd to go away.

Fear of/disgusted by thought of sex. Feels like I’m playing tug-a-war in my brain that I used to love having sex vs. a sudden anxiety towards it. I battle it in my head all day. Tips to start to return to my old sex drive? I miss it! Do I just have sex even though I’ve been avoiding it? Will that help the fear/disgust? Or will that hurt me more?

Hello everyone. I’m pretty new here. Just wanted to know if anyone’s tried Expose Response Therapy on their own If so, how did they do it on their own? Thank you. SAMSON

Need some techniques for avoiding compulsion to remove marks, imperfections from painted walls at home. See a mark or imperfection and have immediate need/compulsion to remove it. Exhausting!

why don’t i hate my HOCD thoughts anymore. today i decided to face my fear, the fear was if i actually tell myself “yh i’m bi” then i’ll end up liking girls so i said fuck it i’ll do it and i didn’t feel anything well and truly and if anything that gave me clarity i have this friend and we are really affectionate with each-other we always hug and shit like normal and i didn’t want to not hug her to give in to my compulsion so i acted as normal then i kept getting these thoughts saying “you must like her and it’s true since you’ve admitted you’re bisexual” and it freaked me out and i kept pulling away from her then in class she blew me a kiss and i blew her one too and i felt so awkward and uncomfortable and my mind was like “see what happened, you should’ve never accepted it cuz now you like your best friend” the thing is it doesn’t feel real at all but my fear is that what if i become friends with a girl who isn’t straight and i’m in a situation where we are really affectionate with each other and then i end up liking her which i do not want at all i faced another fear the other day too my fear was “if i tell my mum about my HOCD she’ll think i’m gay and say it’s ok if i feel that way and then i’ll start liking girls” well that’s exactly what happened (minus the liking girls part) my mum said if i was she’d be okay with it but the thought of being with a girl didn’t make me happy at all so that gave me clarity. but now all my thoughts are linking together in one big whirlpool and i’m right at the middle all my thoughts consist of: “if you liked a girl your mum wouldn’t mind” “you told yourself you’re bi so just go with it you can’t take it back” “you noticed that girl in the street and you said you were bi which means you like her” “you didn’t find that boy, who all your friends found good-looking, good-looking as well which is sign that it’s true” “you don’t hate your instructive thoughts anymore which obviously means you’re bi” “you’ll never be with a guy after all this” “you’re attraction to that guy is fake” “you’re lying to yourself just accept it and stop denying it” “all you’re friends are gay in some way so you must be too” “would it be the worst thing liking a girl” i want to scream i thought i was helping myself by facing my fear but now i feel like i’ve made it worse. i didn’t feel anxious at all which kinda scared me and it’s like my mind is so use to feeling anxiety that it started all over again. FUCK. i just want to have a boyfriend i saw this tiktok about how gay people bribe after school and i remember before this bullshit started i said “i’m gonna thrive after i finish school” AND I DONT KNOW IF THAT HAS ANY LINK BUT I WANNA SCREAM.

I keep remember boys I dated when I was younger and how I wasn’t attracted to them and now I’m like oh proof. Lol what 13 hasn’t dated some questionable men. I’m also confused because when I try to pictures sex with men I now feel nothing but worry. Damn, it’s been an exhausting week even without all of this!

Living with the fear of going crazy. Hey everyone, through my journey living with OCD I’ve had many different themes. The most enduring one was Harm OCD, but I would also have intermittent POCD thoughts. It wasn’t until the last few years that I developed a new theme: the fear of developing psychosis/schizophrenia. While this theme seems to be far more common, it is my experience it isn’t really noted in most of the conventional information you might find online. In all the books, websites, videos, and blogs I’ve digested, I’ve only seen it mentioned a few times. But a perusal online shows that in many OCD communities, it’s a common fear. That’s why, for those of you who are suffering or may suffer with this theme, that I find it important to share the experience openly. During the day-to-day, depending on the intensity of the obsessions, it can have a profoundly limited effect on your life. You want to avoid any scenario that might trigger the thoughts, but the avoidance leads to ever-increasing isolation. Personally, I’ve found actively participating in treatment and ERP has helped me maintain most of my regular responsibilities and habits. In the past, an OCD spike could really derail my life. And while I’m certainly dealing with more intrusive thoughts than “usual” at the moment, knowing I have the support of the community and my therapist helps me stay on course. It is without question that without treatment, my suffering would be greater than it is now. I have tools now to manage it that I never had before. It’s important to remember that no matter the theme, someone else is experiencing it. And within that theme, the particular thoughts aren’t really the issue. It’s our response and relationship to them. OCD is incredibly creative, and many with OCD tend to be reflective and conscientious people! You may have all manner of odd, strange, or disturbing thoughts. And that’s ok! Although it seems like a tired cliche, you’re never truly alone. If you have this theme, and are comfortable sharing, it can help others feel that they can be open and without judgement. I hope this has helped someone who felt isolated. Thank you!

I need some encouragement. I’m trying to delay a compulsion and my brain is screaming at me that if I don’t do it, I’ll HAVE to do the thing I fear doing (breaking no contact with my abusive ex after 2.5 years). I obviously don’t want to do this so it’s what my OCD i is glommed onto. Please help!

I don't know if this falls under the category of "seeking reassurance", but here goes.... I have been trying to tackle my OCD over the last month or so. I started having intense anxiety and panic attacks that I believe got really bad when I recognized that OCD was, in fact, what I had. It was very distressing to me that I was "abnormal" or "crazy". All of my compulsions used to be centered around the thought of myself or someone in my family getting some sort of stomach bug.....I never really saw it as ocd.....just wanting to keep my family healthy. Since the discovery of my actually having OCD my "obsession" has turned to the possibility of my "going crazy" or "losing control" and harming someone. It is causing tremendous anxiety and making it very hard to overcome my compulsions because unlike the possibility of someone I love contracting the stomach bug, which I know will happen from time to time, this fear would be far more catastrophic if it were to become a reality. That being said, I am still working to overcome my compulsions, but I find myself having overwhelming thoughts of needing to "make up" for the compulsion I resisted by performing a new or different one....for example..... I have resisted touching each clothing item 4 times before I put them on....because of that I'm finding myself experiencing extreme anxiety when trying to pick out an item to wear (I can't even explain quite the feeling I am having other than being extremely anxious and on the verge of panic).... Today, for example, I had a horrible time picking out a shirt.....just staring in my closet unable to pick one....finally pushing myself to do so I was then able to continue breaking the cycle of touching each item 4 times before I put them on. After, I didn't really have anxiety from breaking that compulsion, but from seemingly picking the "wrong" shirt..... Because of that I have been trying to "make up" for picking the wrong shirt by performing other things a certain amount of times....I know all of these thoughts are completely ridiculous but I just can't seem to get over the fear.... Is anyone experiencing the same thing or does anyone have any tips?

I'm very afraid of my therapist telling my I don't have OCD. That would mean that my Hocd and Pocd related thoughts are true. I rather kill myself than doing those things.. Not that there's something wrong with being gay, but I don't want it bc it's not me. What's the difference between GAD and Pure O?

Sometimes, my gender theme with OCD takes an existential turn. I felt great this morning after writing down most of my fears and when I feel better about most of my main theme using exposure, my OCD moves to something similar but different. *Possible Trigger Warning* When my TOCD/Gender Identity OCD calms down my mind moves to a different question: What if we don’t know what we actually like? What if humans are just blobs with no definition? Can we know anything about ourselves? The thought of this came after being scared of the idea (that I’ve seen maybe two people on Twitter suggest) of getting rid of “he” and “she” and everyone just being they. To me I would get scared that people want to turn everyone non-binary and therefore everyone would become a blob with no definition - even though non-binary people IRL aren’t “blobs with no identity”... I would get thoughts of how the hell would I know who my mom is? How would I know who my dad is? My friends and family? With these thoughts, no one would have any identity or definition. I think when people talk about gender being a social construct and getting rid of certain things, I think they mean getting rid of gender restrictions and everyone being equal. I agreed with this for a long time and it never scared me. However, my OCD recently took this as getting rid of “he” and “she” pronouns and maybe getting rid of names too. Then I saw a book in Target from TIME magazine called The Science Of Gender and one of the small boxes/sections was “beyond she and he” which I thought meant going beyond he and she and getting rid of them in the future. That’s not what it was at all in the actual book, but I was already triggered and the thoughts are in me. I think this absolutely hooks into my history of existential OCD, as I suffered with it majorly in 2017 (while not knowing what it was) and a little bit in 2019. It gives many of the same feelings, I think due to wondering about the nature of self. With my existential OCD I would worry a lot if the self/ego doesn’t exist after seeing that old Jim Carrey interview and looking at some Buddhism stuff that talked about their belief in no self. This theme feels very similar but with a different subject in a way. I also get thoughts of “what if I have to accept that gender doesn’t exist and we’re all blobs with no definition, and therefore I’ll lose my identity and everything about self?” Which is very similar to my main existential theme of “what if I have to be a nihilist now that I’ve thought about the meaning of life and what if I can’t believe anything else other than nihilism? Do I have to accept it and lose what I love and feel like shit?” I don’t know how to do ERP with this. But it’s really nice to type it out!

Not really ocd related, but my relationship with my father rn is really bad and I feel like I have no one in my personal life to talk to about this. He deadass yells at me for the most insignificant things. I wanted to get a drink from a Wendy’s that was en route to our house and he had a meltdown because the not even five minute wait it took to actually get the drink was “inconveniencing” him too much, and then proceeded to make me feel like a burdensome piece of shit because I wanted one (1) drink. We got into a verbal fight not even three hours ago because I wanted to sleep with a fan on despite feeling slightly ill and he couldn’t handle the fact that I, a 20 year old, an adult, didn’t care and wanted to sleep with the fan on. He berated me calling me “dumb” for not wanting to be hot whilst I slept. And he often times calls me a “r*tard” or tells me that I’m “being r*tarded” during arguments despite him knowing that I have a HUGE ass complex about that. I can’t defend myself without feeling extreme guilt. He always apologizes but he refuses to change. Eventually I’m going to have to phase myself out of his life if this continues (to which it will), and that’s a thought that is extremely painful for me. I still rely on him for transportation because I don’t have a car yet, and he makes it a point to hold that over my head. Some people are lucky that I haven’t hexed them. These are just two examples out of so many instances of him being just a general ass to me, and I have a hard time even legitimizing the situation, because I know it could be SO much worse. I try to be polite and mind my business and avoid any conflict whatsoever, so I just shut myself in my room for most of the day, which of course he finds a problem with. Having parents with unchecked mental health issues is FUN.

Just curious if this might be OCD: every day, probably 200 times a day, I have thoughts pop in my head of embarrassing things I’ve said, written, or done. Then, in response I either scrunch up my face, dig my fingernails into my palms, or think, “I’m going to kill myself” (don’t mean it). It happens automatically. I’m diagnosed with OCD already but curious if I should look into this being OCD or maybe social anxiety??

I’m so proud of myself! I resisted performing soooooo many compulsions today. I kept reminding myself: “it’s not how you feel, it’s what you do that matters”

Anyone else deal with compulsively checking if they’re turned on by something? I’ll check a picture like 10 times until I think I feel something or don’t. And it’ll be stupid stuff too, like a dumb ad. I’m trying to resist!!!

I feel lost, can somebody help me?

PLEASE URGENT HELP God! God please help me. Today hocd hit very hard. I was scrolling on fb and i saw wrestling so i kept watching to see if i get aroused. I kept telling myself I’m equal and strong, they can’t do this to me. But then the thought came «  they could rape you» « look, they look like he’s raping the other »im not that strong as them . God and I saw movement, my dick was almost semi erect. GOD I FELT LIKE I DIED AND I WANTED TO DIE. EHY WOULD MY FUCKING PENIS MOVE FOR SUCH A THING . WHY IS MY MIND FUCKED UP. I FELT THE GREATEST ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION FELL OVER ME WHO EVENTUALLY STOPPED THE AROUSAL. I’M STILL SHAKING. GOD I NEED HOPE. I NEED TO GET RID OF THESE THOUGHTS BUT THE BODY SIGNALS AND DREAMS ARE DESTROYING ME ! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASEE!!

Need guidance but only from those who are at least somewhat knowledgeable about the issue. Noise issues are brought up in the field of OCD but not often. I would ask for understanding from dog owners and dog lovers. I'm not writing this message to attack dogs; I'm just asking for help to a very serious problem that's causing sleep deprivation. I live in connected housing and am exposed to noises that drive me crazy. Examples would include dog barking, honking, home theater systems, stereos, and motorcycle startups. While noises are a problem at any time the worst aspect is when I'm trying to get to sleep. If I am disturbed by noises I suffer from anticipatory anxiety where I fear hearing that noise again at any time when I am in bed. The anxiety is so bad I can't get to sleep. My current crisis is dog barking from my neighbor. I am confident that there is no noise ordinance violation because the police will only fine a violator if their dogs are barking for an extended period of time. For me, even one bark is threatening to my sleep. I send lots of friendly letters to my neighbor asking for help. I do think she's trying but there are times the dogs bark when I'm trying to get rest. I'm currently doing research into anti bark collars but it's unclear what to get and the neighbor is not open to communicating with me and probably would not be interested in putting that on her dogs. I assume there are some control issues when it comes to my struggles with noises. I get angry and I have strong opinions that some intrusive noises that I struggle with should be illegal (examples: dogs should not be allowed or there should be more properties that don't allow dogs, cars should not have been made to honk when you lock them). I can't seem to handle not being in control and I'm not in any position to be able to move. I so wish I could have a single-family home with some privacy from noise. My treatment providers have advocated exposure. They would like me to download a dog barking ringtone and to listen to dog barking occasionally throughout the day (using YouTube videos too). And to eventuality use the dog bark ringtone to wake me up at some point during the night to get used to dog barking. Does this sound like the way to go? I always worry about my ability to drift off to sleep if a dog barks and fears of being awoken by a dog bark. My treatment providers would rather have me just focus on the exposure in hopes that I will get used to it and won't get so rattled by the whole issue...and I guess I would get relief from anticipatory anxiety even if there are times when my sleep would get disrupted. I hate the idea of doing exposures on this and I just want a strong feeling that this is the thing to do to get rid of the anticipatory anxiety which is causing a lot of sleep loss.