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the NOCD Community

I want the thoughts to go away. I can’t stop feeling like I deserve to not even exist. I don’t know what to do anymore I’m trying to watch a movie and I can’t stop thinking about earlier and I hate myself.

if you don’t understand HOCD (sexual orientation ocd) , don’t comment something under someone’s post please... it doesn’t help it makes it worse. don’t tell them “just be who you are it’s not that bad it’s 2020” literally stop. don’t do that shit please ?

I'm so sick and tired of being in misery everyday my theme is in everything and ruins everyday for me. It is like a cold that nevers goes away and no matter how hard you try you can't ever get rid of it.

How do you know when you’re ready to get off your medication?

Does anyone else have OCD where it's like thoughts that the OCD is telling you to believe? For example... sometimes when I walk into my bathroom my mind is like "there's gonna be a dead body hanging in your shower" and I imagine it and brace myself for it before I go. This stuff makes me so miserable. How do i stop this? On top of that I have depersonalization and derealization. All of it mixed together makes me think im in psychosis. Im scared.

I’ll be honest. I don’t know what to do anymore. I need professional help and no where I find that handles OCD takes insurance. I called an ocd place in my state and they don’t take insurance, they recommended NOCD to me. Which I replied oh I’ve already been using NOCD. I am so tired of my POCD. I ended up doing some “things” today but then all these disgusting vile intrusive thoughts flooded into my brain and it was visual as all hell because my brain is too visual. It’s literally a curse at this point. Thoughts included friends and family and even I’m sure you can guess it I say POCD thoughts were included in the friends and family section. Which makes me feel like I’m a vile evil person who’s lying to everyone they know. I ended up scratching my face a bunch when the thoughts came because I was SO disgusted. And all day I’ve felt sick and just have been excessively blinking over and over, squeezing my eyes shut. I have been GAGGING in DISGUST every time a thought popped into my head today. What is WRONG with me? I don’t know anymore. My OCD is just taking such a toll on me and I’ve been terrible with taking my meds. I need professional help from someone who knows what the hell ocd is. And no one in my state takes insurance. I don’t have that kind of money. Idk. I am so Tired. All I’ve Been able to do all day is play animal crossing and sleep.

What does it mean when people say “you don’t have to do something to get love?” Surely you do have to? How else do you get people to love you? I don’t understand. Maybe love just doesn’t exist? Or if it does, it’s not for a long time? Unless it’s from your mother in which case it is lifelong

I feel so bad I have the horrible intrusive thought with my cat and I feel like I like it with every single part of my body and I let the thought, because I'm trying that but that happend so I couldn't

When I listen to success stories and podcasts of people saying they manage it better I don’t know why my mind says “you could never do that” “your ocd is worse and different” “you are stuck like this” so I try to listen to podcasts of people overcoming their worst fears and it makes me sad and anxious but I feel like it could be erp?

Does anyone else ever want to go to a mental hospital for a while to feel safe and get this all sorted out?

I am so physically and mentally drained. My thoughts went from HOCD to trying to convince me I cheated on my bf without me realizing it. And I am trying to replay actions in my head of what happened 5 months ago because I want to make sure I didn’t do anything wrong (and every time I don’t find anything wrong I did my mind says “well what if you just don’t remember, maybe you did do something”). And then every time I am with my bf I get the thought “imagine that, you hurt him and you are not going to even let him know” or “you don’t even deserve him” or “you are such a hypocrite and you are just being nice because you know you messed up” when in reality I really did not do anything but that doesn’t seem to be enough for me. What do I do?? My biggest fear has always been to lose my boyfriend and it being my fault so my OCD themes always seem to attack what is most valuable to me and I’m sick and tired of it. I feel like every time a theme appears it’s like I am keeping the biggest secret from my bf when in reality I am just dwelling on things over and over again. And I know if I tell him about this it’s going to sound illogical because it’s not based on facts but on fears that don’t even make sense... but what if they do?? You know so there’s so many what if’s involved from the past and the future. I don’t know what to do

Who’s relationships are suffering from lockdown? My bf implies it’s only us and makes it feel like it’s my fault a bit

Does anyone else with real event ocd find it pops up every few months and gets worse, then better? Like for me I'd try to repress it so I wouldn't feel anything about the subject, then months later BAM I feel such intense guilt and disgust with myself that I'm back to square one. I just wish I knew how to move on from this feeling and experience, but how can I, when I feel like a monster over something I'd done 8 years ago? Will I ever move on?

I don’t know what to do about my living situation during covid19 I planned on officially moving in with my partner but haven’t given up my flat (which I’m secretly relieved about) Since living with him though and being in lockdown with him he’s been quite verbally abusive (I think? I’m not sure if it’s fair to call it that?)when he’s drunk and now I’m not sure what to do If I say I’m not ready to give up my flat after all he will be really upset and tell me it’s over completely

Is it possible for ocd to “ completely go away “

I hate FALSE FEELINGS!!!

Hi everyone. I know you all have your problems, but please don’t take my ask for help as a selfish act. I’m oppening myself just because some months ago OCD reached to a level that I’m just unable to do anything productive in my life. I’m from Brazil and have been diagnosed when I was 12 (39 today), and since then I’ve tried all known in the market with almost no sucess. My OCD mainly consists in 24/7 intrusive toughts, 99% of those are related to my family health and safety (absolutely not related with COVID-19). Today I’m struggling to keep my job, ‘cause I cannot produce 30% of what I did three years ago, cannot study or even properly take care of my child without assistance. And this is because I developed an insane list of acts to nonsensely “cancell“ those toughts and prevent them from happening, like I had the most ridiculous super power. Well, now that I’ve introduced myself (lol), I’ll ask some advice: 1- have anyone ever heard/read about therapy by e-mail? (because I just cannot open myself face to face to anyone); 2- have anyone tried and had any sucess with cannabidiol?; 3- have anyone had sucess with meditation and would recommend any technic? Thanks for the space and for the patience.

Certainty just does not exist, it's a fantasy feeling. Needing certainty answers to your obsessions is just an OCD's wish. Don't give in to it. Embrace the unknown. Focus on the what-is, leave the what-if for what it is.

It’s an actual joke how in the UK private therapy is really the only successful route for treating OCD but it costs so much, even if there is a chance you can get treated on the NHS you could be waiting for months and have to go through the stress of therapists who don’t know what they’re doing. So then you’re left with the reality that this is your life now and you just have to cope with OCD.

Hey, these past few months I've been obsessing about hairloss. I'm 19 and my dad got alopecia when he was about 30. I'm getting better because of medication, but constantly research hairloss and ask online if I'm going bald. I'm constantly checking in the mirror and looking at other people hair to compare. More recently I've been really stressed about my brothers hairloss who is 16, I will look at his crown and it looks like he's thinning. If he starts to go bald I feel like I'll just be depressed for him, especially when I'm not thinning from the crown.