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I’m scared I like the thoughts. I can’t tell if I get enjoyment or not... I’m concerned I do, and that I just won’t admit it

Having a hard day. This morning I was feeling fine, I knew in my heart & mind that I only want a guy. But just this afternoon my thoughts came back with full force and I feel gay, like it's feels so real. I'm thinking of so much stuff I feel like I'm in compulsory heterosexuality. My brain tells me I'm not straight anymore and that hate men. Someone help :(

My son 15 years old showed symptoms of contamination OCD 3 months ago and a month ago started vitual ERP . He is doing 50% of what asked but resisting ... he doesn’t want to get educated and admit he has it . He believes he may have it. I keep talking to him to accept the thoughts and act the opposite but I don’t really know if he understands because he is either sad or annoyed. He refused to talk to the psychiatrist the first time for medication but now he said he will see him again . I guess he understands but he is so unhappy and doesn’t follow his homework ERP when I am at work . Will medication help him ?

Me to myself: Remember that OCD likes to chop and change themes just to keep you in the loop! YOU'VE GOT THIS! OCD: *changes theme* Me: *shocked Pikachu face*

I’m feeling very scared and alone lately I’ve been trying to work through POCD and have spoken to a therapist about it but he keeps telling me it’s my inner child. I don’t think this is working and just making me feel worse. I have made an appointment with an OCD specialist and just hope this is a better approach because considering these thoughts are my inner child is bringing up even more trauma and making me feel like I’m completely messed up. It just feels like I will never get over this.

i don’t think if this is a thing but has anyone ever experienced extreme jealousy because of their ocd? because i struggle with it so much and in my mind i know i don’t want to be jealous but something is constantly pushing me to be jealous? of the most stupid and tiniest things? or my stomach feels super low or heavy when i feel like i’m missing out on things when i can easily catch up with everyone else? it’s so frustrating

Why do I feel so strongly about certain things and I think the people around me will understand and feel the same but they don’t. I end up feeling like I have overreacted but I still don’t understand why it doesn’t matter as much to them? I am working on saying things more calmly but they still don’t see what I see!

I'm obsessed about having a personality disorder. It really feels like something is wrong with me because I have an urge to talk about my emotional distress (which has been building up for two years) to people I like. At first I thought this urge was normal because OCD is very hard to life with, but I talked to my therapist and the urge did not go away. Could this be a sign that I want attention and this being a personality disorder? Please give me some answers. I don't know anymore what to do.

Can I talk to someone about my hocd? I've had a bad day and I would like some company :(

I can’t tell if this is existential OCD or if something else is going on, but I’ve been having a serious existential crisis-type episode for the past week. Starting with the realization of my own mortality and an impending sense of doom, hopelessness, pointlessness, and despair, which led me down a path of spirituality (mix of Buddhist and Hindu beliefs). That’s in the realm of “normal” for me, and I was feeling amazing afterwards, I felt like everything finally made sense, like I was at peace with the world, nature, and my soul. But then the intrusive thoughts started(about when I realized technically anything is possible in this seemingly endless universe). At first they were about this whole world being fake, that everyone was in on it except for me, that I was being tested to see if I had learned enough/been a good enough person in this life. Soon realized that this wasn’t logical, since I was going off the idea that nothing was real, but if no one was real they wouldn’t be able to lie to me. Then it transitioned into pure solipsism, which terrified me to the very depths of my soul, at which point I felt suicidal (basically “if nothing is real what’s the point?” Kind of thinking) but after a couple of days of ruminating, I realized the flaws in this logic, as well, and was comfortable in the idea that this was false. Which brings me to now. It’s sort of a mixture of the two, I now have an intrusive thought that there’s some force that created this world to test me, but that no one is “real”, that they have the appearance of being conscious like me, but are being controlled by an outside force, that they’re like robots with the appearance of having a soul, but are just programmed to seem that way, that I’ll not be able to see them again when I die and return to the pool of consciousness since they never existed in the first place. I know in my rational mind this isn’t true, but it just keeps pounding in my head that it’s possible, so I can never assume it isn’t the truth, and it’s making me feel so hopeless. What’s the point if everything is a lie? I feel like my world is crumbling beneath my feet, like I’m drowning. The worst part was that I was fine this morning, but was triggered by an existential question I saw posed online, and wound up back here. I’m terrified that I’m going insane.

HOCD is so similar to the lgbt questioning/coming out process. It’s been so hard not to obsess today

Hi. I just needed to post here about some stuff I’m feeling seeking support or a kind perspective. To sum up my background story I spent nearly 10 years suffering with a hormone imbalance. I now take a hormone replacement daily, and my mood has dramatically improved and literally my life has changed. During those 10 years though I had a lot of ups/downs. Fortunately, nothing too terrible ever happened, but I was suicidal and couldn’t control my emotions and my judgement was impaired. All that to say I hurt some people along the way. I have a friend who I’ve known since high school. She’s been there for me through some of my worst times but, as we’ve gotten a little older, we’ve drifted a part some and lost some of our connection. She made me her maid of honor in her wedding, and I didn’t live up to her expectations and I think that’s out a further strain on our relationship. I have some hurt from her too so I decided to write her a letter a couple of months ago basically sharing with her some of the hurt I was feeling and also seeking to mend things with her. I feel that we need to have a deeper conversation about some stuff. My intention which I told her was to make our relationship better, and I also told her about my health because she doesn’t know about what’s been happening with my hormone replacement or how that’s impacting me. My intention with telling her that was so that she might be more understanding of me. It’s been 2-3 months since I emailed her, and I haven’t heard back. She has a child so I’m thinking that maybe she just hasn’t had time to sit down and write me back, but I’m still feeling hurt and rejected that I haven’t heard from her and afraid that I won’t. Up until I wrote this letter we were still talking about once a month so we weren’t in a terrible place, but I felt like I needed to share how I was really feeling or our relationship would met be able to grow. I was hoping that my letter would make us better friends, not more distant. I don’t regret anything I wrote because I was kind and honest and I needed to say the things I said. But I am sad to not have heard anything from her. I’m trying to remain hopeful that one day I’ll hear back from her, but there’s also a fear in me that I won’t or that what I will hear back will really hurt. This is someone I’ve invested a lot of time to. We’ve been friends for a little over 10 years so not having her in my life would really hurt. I hope things can get better, but the uncertainty is getting to me. I’m also really sad that I had this hormone imbalance all along and that it effected my emotions so much. I am grateful to have figured out my problem, but I wonder how much better my life would have been if I could have discovered it sooner. I feel like I would have lived up to her expectations and other’s expectations better and wouldn’t have lost friends like I did. I also that I would have been more careful in my dating life and wouldn’t have dated some of the guys I dated and thus wouldn’t have gotten hurt like I did. I just think overall I would have had an easier time and things would be better for me right now. Instead I feel really lonely for friends. I don’t have anyone close to me other than my fiancé-not my parents, siblings or a friend. I really long for connection and for friendship. My parents and sister, unfortunately, are really different from me and I’ve tried to find a closer connection with them but it just doesn’t work. My friend who I mentioned above has been like a sister so losing her as a close friend would break my heart. Anyways that’s what is going on in my mind. Thanks for listening.

Sometimes my compulsions take my full attention. Sometimes they feel totally reasonable. Sometimes I don't understand how other people could NOT do whatever I'm doing.... - And other times I can take a step back, watch myself doing compulsions, and say "this is absurd". That, my friends, is a moment of insight. - Tell us about a time you realized your comoulsions made no sense. -

Does anyone else here have moral / responsibility theme OCD?

Y'know, even post-therapy sometimes it's hard not to feel like a freak. Not because you start doubting that it's not OCD again, but because you have OCD. Just this chronic problem that makes you feel like you're a diet but just as worse version of the people you're most terrified of (murderers, sex offenders, generally shit human beings) it's.....hard to feel like you didn't deserve all the horrible things that have happened to you throughout your life.

What did you do when your therapy was over? I am currently doing an online 12 week CBT program with a psychiatrist and she’s been really great. My anxiety has gone down from probably an 8 to 4 overall and I’ve learned a lot of skills. She says that usually after the 12 weeks, clients usually feel better and take the skills and tools they’ve learned and that people don’t need therapy forever. I’ve told her that I would like to continue sessions and she’s agreed to do 12 more weeks of online video chats (20 mins per week) but I asked to do them every 2 weeks I could slowly taper off. I feel like I’ve learned a lot but I still have questions about dealing with what ifs and what if my thoughts are real threats or just perceived threats. Should I keep seeing a therapist after or how do I remain in remission after the therapy is over?

For those, but specifically females who suffer from HOCD, do you find the OCD thoughts switching up on you? I went to my first meeting with my therapist, as they were talking my thoughts were like, “No, I’m gay. I like girls.” Like it was this switch. When before I was obsessing and fearing over being gay. Then there was this sensation of pleasure, like my body liked the thought and my mind was I exhausted to counter the thoughts but it didn’t fee right. My HOCD has now fixated on “boyish” females and I get that weird pleasure sensation that didn’t I have to before. I know we tend to feel more for the things we don’t want but OCD is a vicious monster.

Anyone know anything about OCD and the crippling need to confess things?

Hi. I just needed to post here about some stuff I’m feeling seeking support or a kind perspective. To sum up my background story I spent nearly 10 years suffering with a hormone imbalance. I now take a hormone replacement daily, and my mood has dramatically improved and literally my life has changed. During those 10 years though I had a lot of ups/downs. Fortunately, nothing too terrible ever happened, but I was suicidal and couldn’t control my emotions and my judgement was impaired. All that to say I hurt some people along the way. I have a friend who I’ve known since high school. She’s been there for me through some of my worst times but, as we’ve gotten a little older, we’ve drifted a part some and lost some of our connection. She made me her maid of honor in her wedding, and I didn’t live up to her expectations and I think that’s out a further strain on our relationship. I have some hurt from her too so I decided to write her a letter a couple of months ago basically sharing with her some of the hurt I was feeling and also seeking to mend things with her. I feel that we need to have a deeper conversation about some stuff. My intention which I told her was to make our relationship better, and I also told her about my health because she doesn’t know about what’s been happening with my hormone replacement or how that’s impacting me. My intention with telling her that was so that she might be more understanding of me. It’s been 2-3 months since I emailed her, and I haven’t heard back. She has a child so I’m thinking that maybe she just hasn’t had time to sit down and write me back, but I’m still feeling hurt and rejected that I haven’t heard from her and afraid that I won’t. Up until I wrote this letter we were still talking about once a month so we weren’t in a terrible place, but I felt like I needed to share how I was really feeling or our relationship would met be able to grow. I was hoping that my letter would make us better friends, not more distant. I don’t regret anything I wrote because I was kind and honest and I needed to say the things I said. But I am sad to not have heard anything from her. I’m trying to remain hopeful that one day I’ll hear back from her, but there’s also a fear in me that I won’t or that what I will hear back will really hurt. This is someone I’ve invested a lot of time to. We’ve been friends for a little over 10 years so not having her in my life would really hurt. I hope things can get better, but the uncertainty is getting to me. I’m also really sad that I had this hormone imbalance all along and that it effected my emotions so much. I am grateful to have figured out my problem, but I wonder how much better my life would have been if I could have discovered it sooner. I feel like I would have lived up to her expectations and other’s expectations better and wouldn’t have lost friends like I did. I also that I would have been more careful in my dating life and wouldn’t have dated some of the guys I dated and thus wouldn’t have gotten hurt like I did. I just think overall I would have had an easier time and things would be better for me right now. Instead I feel really lonely for friends. I don’t have anyone close to me other than my fiancé-not my parents, siblings or a friend. I really long for connection and for friendship. My parents and sister, unfortunately, are really different from me and I’ve tried to find a closer connection with them but it just doesn’t work. My friend who I mentioned above has been like a sister so losing her as a close friend would break my heart. Anyways that’s what is going on in my mind. Thanks for listening.

I saw someone (a UK based supposed ‘expert’ in OCD) talk about rationalising your fears, sort of like ‘why would this be really that bad?’ And saying to truly get over your fear you’d have to say to yourself that even if your fear came true you’d be able to cope and you should realise it’s not that bad. But isn’t that counterproductive? As our fears are often quite distressing/taboo/or ego-dystonic.