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the NOCD Community

hocd doesn't feel like hocd. Initially when I got it, I was sure I had hocd. But now...I feel like I don't wanna be straight anymore. I have no attraction to guys, no imagination and after hocd I can't imagine or think of a guy's face or body anymore!!! This last thing bothers me so much. I feel like I've forced myself to like guys. I used to love speaking about guys, marriage, bf etc. But now whenever I talk about it I feel like I'm in comouslory heterosexuality because I don't get the same emotions and feelings I used to have before hocd. My mom showed me this guy and I said he was hot but when I came back to my room, I felt gay...very gay. This is scaring me so much that Ive become gay.

I have a question not necessarily about OCD but about something I’ve noticed in regard to mental health and trying to get help from a parent(s). I’ve heard it happen many times with other people’s experiences and seen it depicted in media where someone is dealing with depression, mental health issues, is actually suicidal, etc whatever the reason, and they decide to go to a parent and reveal what is troubling them, and instead of helping and hearing them out, it’s usually met with a “you’re fine” “don’t talk like that nothing’s wrong with you” “it’s all in your head” “get over it” etc. I honestly don’t understand those responses. I assume parents want the best for their kids and to help them in any way they can, but when the issue is mental health related all of a sudden it’s not real and you’re fine. Why would you risk your child’s life and wellbeing and not at least have them see a professional or just sit and talk with them? Is it because of fear? Do they really just not care? Even if you don’t personally believe in care for mental health, your child has built up the courage to seek help from you and you won’t even try to help? Any explanations? I see it far too frequently

Has anyone tried psychedelics? How has it affected your ocd?

I was watching modern family with my mom and it was at a point where the father was talking about his son coming out and how it was hard for him. It made me feel really uncomfortable and in my head it was like “don’t act weird you’re in front of your mom” “what if she thinks you’re lesbian” “what if you need to come out to her” but I’m not lesbian!! I have a loving boyfriend that I am so in love with and I can’t imagine myself getting old with a woman. I want to marry a man. I hate when this happens, I was getting anxiety when that scene came on but when I watch it alone it doesn’t affect me that much. Does anybody else get anything like this??

Can I please talk to someone? I'm anxious about so much stuff!! I'm having multiple thoughts and obsessions :(. The thing is after hocd I realized that I've always shown symptoms of OCD. And I kind of analyzed my past self and saw a few obsessive behaviours. But today my therapist told me I might have OCD or I might be overthinking. That's scaring me that I have faked my memories and I'm faking my current obsessions too

Anyone else with ROCD experience extreme guilt about things they did before the ROCD really kicked in?

I am taking doxycycline for an ear infection and have bad OCD and anxiety about it. I google and read reviews about the worst case scenarios and am now worry about this condition I’ve read about called indiopathic intracranial hypertension which affects the pressure in your brain and gives you bad headaches and vision. It’s rare apparently but some people who have taken doxycycline have gotten it . My ocd has convinced me it’s going to happen to me. :(

Hi does anyone else have the pure o, I’m 61 and have had ocd since I was about 13 and on the whole I’ve delt with this dreadful disorder fairly well. Does anybody have any advice or tips when I do struggle as with this lockdown it’s not helping as I’m sure other people are to......difficult times. Cheers kevin

Anyone here with religious ocd?

I just saw a video on YouTube about how people with schizophrenia see things . I got really triggered . And the worst part is that there was a comment on the video which said that it starts with thoughts . And after sometime people start to see things . And it really scared me. Because from the day I came to know about schizophrenia. I think I have it. I know I don't have it but my mind tells me maybe . So whenever I do something a fear comes into my mind . What if iam schizophrenic . It can morph onto anything . I started doing erp and it relly helped. But today I got triggered due to that video and that comment. Please help me !!.

Help..it feels so irresponsible to ignore scary "what if " thoughts!

Can anyone offer some advice for existential OCD? It's the theme that has gotten to me the most and is the only one I'm dealing with currently. I'm in therapy now with someone who understands OCD and ERP, so I'm treating it in the proper ways. I'm struggling a bit and would love to hear what has helped some others.

My ocd keeps going from one thing to another today. Now I’m scared I’m a narcissist because I have bpd and I’m attention deprived and love attention and I’ve done manipulative things in the past but I’m unlearning my manipulative behaviors and trying to be better and I’m so scared I’m a narcissist or a sociopath. I feel so terrible but my brain is like what if you’re just doing all this because you don’t feel terrible. I don’t know man I’m scared constantly that I’m faking. That I really am a sociopath or narc deep down. I don’t want to be one. I’ve made mistakes in the past I’m not proud of but I’d never want to hurt anyone. I hate having bpd and ocd combo. I only ever started getting this fear once I got diagnosed with bpd.

Saying “maybe I am maybe I’m not” hasn’t helped me yet because I’m in a relationship and I just want to know 100% because I want to marry my boyfriend and not have to leave him in the future because of it but I know it’s impossible to know anything 100%. And HOCD is so so debilitating and it makes me so sad and I just want to know so badly so I can be free and I want to be straight and not have to worry about this ever again and just laugh at it in the future

Ugh SOS :( I’m a nursing student and I really enjoy learning about diseases and how to treat them. I am also a Christian. Soooo, I am having this intrusive thought - “what if the devil made diseases and it’s wrong for me to like learning about them.” Then that makes me feel like I shouldn’t even be a nurse to avoid enjoying something I shouldn’t ??‍♀️ (I’m still gonna be a nurse, I’m graduating next summer, I’m in too deep ?) but idk what to do with this thought. Idk if it’s wrong to enjoy learning about disease and I don’t know if something evil even made them!! Ugh

My "hocd" doesn't feel like hocd anymore. It feels more real, everyday I feel like I'm in denial or just not accepting. I'm numb to my thought and have no emotions to anything but I'm still worried. Have no aesthetic, sexual and romantic attraction. My imagination and thinking is distorted to the point I can't remember what it felt like to fantasize. I can now only remember my past where I loved guys so much. I feel like I have turned gay. All the things that I feel can't be just OCD. I feel like I'm pretending to have OCD and hide my true self :(:(

Lately I've been having intrusive racist thoughts and its driving me insane. I get triggered everytime my sister comes over (she says the n word a lot) and I get pissed off and yell at her but then the word will replay in my mind and I cant make it stop. I feel terrible. Every time i look at a poc now my brain will point out their race and keep telling me to look at their skin color as if it's something of importance. How do you treat this subset of ocd? I havent seen a lot of people with it :(

Hi! I feel like I have no one close to me that is around my age that has ocd!! So I just wanted to know some more people who have ocd! I’m Kay from the US! I’m 18 and am going to college and just applied for honors! I am getting a degree to teach kindergarten and also am wanting to get a second degree, either to become a math professor or a dermatologist one day! I have had different types of ocd but for the past few months, it has been scrupulously, and I have been fully diagnosed and am using lexapro, and want to start therapy after everything is safe to do again!! Comment and let me know some stuff about you!

So I am openly bi-sexual. I am comfortable admitting my attraction toward both sexes. I guess my OBSESSION or BIGGEST fear is that I’m NOT attracted to women anymore. And proof of this is if I do not get aroused or respond sexually if I’m alone in bed with a women! This is HIGHLY distressing! Any input from anybody would be greatly appreciated. Working with a therapist through this app soon!!

My POCD has been going for 5 months now. I feel like I enjoy it when in reality it is bringing me extreme torment day in and day out. But what if that’s just because it’s unaccepted in society? I don’t want to hurt anyone and I know I WILL not hurt anyone, I just wanna know I’m not what I fear. The OCD is praying on Mistakes I made in high school, though I didn’t actually hurt anyone. I just want these thoughts to be intrusive. I’ve Known I have ocd since 8th grade, so it’s been like 8 years. I’ve had so many themes—perfection, HOCD/fear of being straight, fear of losing my interests, fear of using the wrong pronouns/being the wrong gender —the list is like 2 pages long. I just hope this is OCD. It sounds like I’m starting my NOCD therapy in 9 days. Does anyone who has been through it wanna comment below?