Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Anyone with religious/faith doubt/spirituality OCD available/want to talk? Struggling with this right now :(

Struggling. Failed to meet the goals I set for this afternoon. So I’m sitting on the couch. Watching the time tick by. I wanted the afternoon to “feel right” and now it doesn’t because I messed up and now nothing “feels right.” And now I’m sitting here, spiraling down this mental landslide of everything I’m doing wrong. What do you do when you feel this way? How do you get yourself to move when this happens?

Is anyone here Muslim? I was raised Muslim but rebelled in college and after that, and turned out to be the complete opposite of a good Muslim girl. I’m American so I guess that also has to do with it. Now at 27 I feel like crap, and I am feeling extra shame about things (real event OCD) because of my upbringing.

For any Christians or believers in God out there who feel hopeless right now, I find that turning to my faith helps me. Before this hit me I haven’t been good with keeping up with my faith but going through tough times like this makes me feel more faithful in God. I’ve recently started to listen to Christian music and praying more and it helps me a ton with feelings of hopelessness. If anyone reading this has any recommendations of music or books or anything please let me know! I’m not trying to preach or force my faith on anyone on here but if you’re not Christian reading this I believe the universe has a plan for you. You were not meant to exist on this planet to simply suffer and die. As hopeless and as you feel right now you will come out of this stronger! I don’t think any of this is triggering but I put a trigger warning on this anyway for anyone with religious ocd on here in case any of it is triggering.

About to start ERP on my own. Any tips? And will it work? I'm in ALOT of distress and is debilitating.

I feel so hopeless right now. I can’t stop crying and I hate my life. I’ve been doing fine but the feeling of it being being true and the feeling of it never going away are over powering

A lot of my OCD is disguised as worrying about real life issues: my job, my relationship (or lack of relationship), dating, my creativity, etc. I have a hard time separating valid concerns from my OCD. The best way I can explain it is take a “normal” worry or something we all have to deal with, but put it on steroids, and then I instantly dive into emotional reasoning and black and white thinking and all sorts of cognitive distortions. A pro/con list or throwing logic at a problem doesn’t work. Does anyone have experience with this? Do you have tips for learning how to differentiate valid concerns from OCD?

I have really terrible relationship OCD. The second I sense something is off, I overthink it until I’m exhausted and then I become uninterested in the relationship. At this point I don’t want to speak to my partner because ok afraid I’ll get triggered further. Any tips, thoughts?

So last night I tried some ERP and tried as hard as I could not to give into the compulsions of my thought, I didnt do well, but I was able to do it for at least a little bit until I fell asleep. Guess what was on my mind as soon as I woke up?! That same obsessive thought. I obviously dont expect things to change overnight, but I feel like I'm never going to catch a break. As much as I try not to give my OCD attention, it always prevails. Has anyone experienced this? Like any "unfinished" thought or obsession always creeps back in? They just seem to always resurface whether I have tried for ten minutes or a day to not give into them. I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts. Thank you!

I'm finding it very hard at the minute in relation to Covid 19. Ocd tells me contamination is everywhere, even just walking past someone in a shop, even they haven't touched me I feel that they have contaminated on me by things shedding from their clothes. If they aren't wearing a mask I feel they have contaminated me by just breathing. I was stripping off my clothes after coming in from outside but I'm tryi g not to do that and I'm finding it very difficult. It very hard at the minute to distinguish what is a rational thing to do and not a safety behaviour. Just in a constant state of worry. Can anyone relate or help in any way?

I just really do not want to be gay. Liking boys makes me happy and I feel good when I like boys. I feel very resistant to treatment because of this. I've tried to come to terms with the fact that I could be gay and it just makes me feel sick and unhappy. And dont get mad at me for saying that. Just because YOU are happy being gay doesn't mean everyone else is. If you were forced to be straight you definitely wouldn't like it, so no comments about being upset with how I feel. My feelings are valid.

I'm being to think my daydreams are odd or a another symptom of OCD In one of my day dreams I was buried alive. Some how I managed to make it out of the grave yard alive but never saw my family again. In a different one I was taken to a summer camp that didn't exist and was surrounded by the ghosts of dead children and abusive teachers And in my Least I tried commiting suicide by jumping of a bridge I survived thanks to surgery but ended up in mental hospital for 6 months. And it's hard to concentrate fully. I really don't know what do because I can't control them. I kinda find them scary. Can someone help me? Or aleast let me know that it isn't just me. Sorry if I post to much.

I don’t really know what to do when I try to explain to someone that I have ocd and then they laugh and say, “but your room is so messy” any suggestions? I’ve tried explaining but they don’t seem to listen...

Hey guys, I’m new to this app and honestly at my lowest point possible. I realized my OCD variates on different topics through out the years and comes in waves. I would say the most distressing for me is POCD, I’ve completely isolated myself and don’t know what else to do. Has medication helped any of you manage the intrusive thoughts ? Thanks..

Vent warning cos my hearts hurting as I observe my world of family: I don't care who's at fault. The one parent escalating the hate relationship further between [my] parents need to stop. One of my parents is deeply shattered and feeling hopeless... in having custody of my little brother. My other parent is suing for custody. Stop it! You're legit killing each other. Is it weird to think that I could've forseen these years of struggle in family? I'm 19 and when I was 11 I dreamt my family separated. My parents hurt each other, they died, and it was just me and my little brother truly alone. I was barely an adult, he had to be homeschooled as I worked. I could only afford a small house somewhere. Then one day he was taken from me. I fell into a state of no emotions. Then I lived with my best friend and her family. I met someone. Fell in love. Bff married. I joined the navy, became a pilot and some specific kind of analyst. Then I married. My love was of military or army. (A few yrs later I had the same end of the dream but it like resumed to a new dream... it felt like real years.) I had a kid while he was deployed elsewhere. Then soon later I was taken from my home, my baby left alone, the house on fire. My other bff saved my child but I didn't know until 10 yrs and 4months later when I escaped from captivity and finally found them. I was so torn yet happy to meet my baby all grown up, kind and beautiful. My other bff found me, created a way for me to escape the torturous place. Two things kept me going in that long dream: a young man knew what was going wrong and treated me with kindness when I was held against my will. And one day holding my child and seeing my childs eyes again helped me through. I was held because I had information "higher power" people wanted and I was the only one who had the knowledge of what they wanted. I knew several languages... and never told them a single true thing or anything that would harm another person. They searched for my friend and child, always told me how they suffered and died. But I knew they were lying. Yet it still hurt. When I escaped, the man who helped me died for me. I lost him and he was only a kid. A good person! And I finally found a way to where I thought I'd find my friend and child. And those 4 months of escape I finally found them. I was finally safe. I was held tight by my loved ones, and I held my child again. I woke the next day In The Dream, the sun was just barely rising. I had a warm drink in hand. I was bruised and broken, happy, safe... and a weapon beside my hip. I stood outside closed my eyes and spoke... "Whatever it takes. I will always protect those I love. I am alive, I am hurt, yet here I stand immovable." I am a friend. There I was a mother. I am a warrior and overcomer. There I was a warrior and surviver. I have a story to share right now and every day. And there, too, in the dreams I was a story. A dream, but a story nonetheless. My point: I believe/d dreams can or could come true. Everything has made sense so far. I am afraid, yet I know I can be stronger for whatever coming my way. All I want truly is for my parents to quit screwing each others lives. Someone is going to get seriously hurt or worse. I want to help them go another direction, find a way to forgive each other for whatever happening now and for whatever happened in the past. It's DIFFICULT to forgive I KNOW. That doesn't mean that their actions towards each other can keep happening. It's not RIGHT. I want to help but I also don't know what else to do at the same time I want to take my brother with me and leave our parents to figure stuff out but I know that's a bad idea so, I think about just leaving them all even though running is a bad idea. But everytime they fought since I was 6, I wanted to run away. Idc what the root of it is even though I should find it out and help remedy the problem and make a solution but are my parents problems truly become my own to solve? I'm a kid still! I worry for the OVERALL safety of all four of us individually, and I want us to care for each other but come on! What's with this habitual, endless circle of same/ similar actions and words? Only it's escalating every year! They're divorced for 3yrs now. Who cares! The problem is their current moods towards each other and actions and bad-idea-future-intentions towards each other that'll make things worse and escalate even further! Thank you for letting me vent and sharing helps not let shatter what's left of my heart about my parents and family overall, moreso the safety and happiness of my little brother. He's my constants. I look out for him and in a way that helps me have courage to look out for myself. If he's not happy, I won't stop looking to find happiness. If he's not safe, no one is. I won't hurt anyone. But man will my loved ones hear words from me they've never heard before. Just be kind yaknow? What does it take to just........ find some peace and let go. Each of us has a choice in whether to be happy or no. Each of us has a choice in doing something or nothing. Accept what cannot be changed, right? Well if there is a way, then find that way, know the way, and help others see that way also. I want to let go and move on from finding a way to help my parents care and forgive each other, yet that feeling of knowing there is a way is too strong. Every time I jump that ship, the water rises and carries me back... every time. Every. Time. I want to move on. Is that bad? Or is it also bad that I still want to help, even though my body wants to run, yet my heart and mind know there may be a way to all of us to get along again. Okay. Timer's going off. Laaate dinner. Thank you for reading this. It means a lot. I may have caused some unnecessary stress, but any kind words will help me feel anything other than utter sadness. Much Love to you ♡ thank you for your help :)

How do you recover when OCD attacks your own recovery? At this point I don't know what's OCD and what's recovery. It's gone meta. And I'm trying to hold out, trying to just sit with these feelings, but I'm going insane. I desperately need to find a therapist soon who gets it.

I feel like if there was a naked man and a naked woman infront of me right now, I’d be more turned on by the woman 😣😣😣 I know I’d rather have sex and be in a relationship with a man. But I fear I’m just telling myself that.

I know maybe it's not a place for this... but I really need help or just some virtual hugs: My parents.. my dad is suing my mom for full custody of my little brother. My dad has reasons, and my mom has reasons to be upset. I can't tell exactly what's going on but all I know is that their bad relationship kept escalating since the divorced three yrs ago. I've JUST turned 19 and they're still not getting along whatsoever which Whatever. I've done my bit in trying to help them be friends somehow for so long, but nevermind now. If my brother is in any way mentally, emotionally, spiritually (etc) more depressed by our parents actions and words, I have so many reasons to find a way to just have custody of him. My parents won't quit. And It's making my heart break. I just feel so shattered. Idc that they are divorced. I have overcome that. But the fact they hate each other more is beyond a shattered heart. My brother is not an excuse to lash back at each other. I have worked so hard to move away from self harm or worse. I will nOt see my brother suffer similar/same/or worse days than me. If I have custody of him somehow, will that help my parents "case"? Or am I now just another escalating-livid-jerk...? Are my intentions going to hurt my brother more than what is presently going on with my parents? Idk anything anymore. It's always been him and I.... on our own. Helping each other find reasons to love the world the way we see it right now. I'm done with my parents. I love them greater than their hatred, and I choose to step away because I want to protect my view of what my future love life will be like. And I choose to hope to be a better loving example, than my parents unchanging habits, for my little brother.. show a way for him to be a better person for his future love and family.

Hey everyone! I just have a curious question. When you started taking the right meds, what did you start to notice? Were you having less intrusive thoughts? Or the same amount but not as much anxiety? I'm just very curious on how medication actual effects you! I might have to start it and I'm a little nervous.

I'm ruining my relationship. My boyfriend and i were not having talk about my thoughts because he thinks it's a compulsion so he tried to stop them but not telling anyone my thoughts made me feel numb and empty from inside. But i told him yesterday that we are not talking about this and this is making me feel like this. We had a discussion but he said if i want to leave i should let him know and not let his life hanging. But this is not what i want. i want him. I don't know why he told so. He tells me you cannot stay positive for a day what to expect from you. I always did 100% for my relationship,I'm not able to do now. It's not easy for me. I know i want him but idk why I'm afraid to love him. Why ocd attacked my relationship. I've never wanted anyone else other than him. My thoughts tell me that i want someone else but i really don't want it. I want a life with my bf but I'm scared if i want it or not. I never wanted to hurt him. My only fear is because I'm not feeling this way and if i chose him i would never make him happy and ruin his life. He loves me so much. He motivates me but i don't listen to him. I cried yesterday so much. He hates when i cry. He tells if it would make everything alright i would also cry. What do i do so that my relationship becomes good like before. I want everything to get right but I'm afraid if i want it or not. I only have him who understands me and loves me. I don't want to lose him. I don't know what trauma I've which led to ROCD but i literally don't want to lose him. I want to marry him. My thoughts tell me I've never loved him because i don't have the will power to face my fears. Please help me. I don't want to leave him. My thoughts are telling me i want to leave but i don't. I am really hopeless now because he said to tell if i want to leave. I only knew he understands me but i feel like he is also doubting me but also this is not so. He even told after that don't fight with your thoughts just love me. I don't like it when you cry. Why cannot i see this. He is a very good man. I've always wanted him. Why am i doubting myself and scared to live him. I really want to get better now. I cannot handle this. I'm just crying while writing this. My relationship was going so good. I destroyed everything. I just want this relationship to work. I don't want anything else. Please help me.