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I think I’m at a point where I can no longer be helped. My thoughts seem too convincing, I can’t talk to anyone in my life about them. I feel like I’m going to be stuck with this mindset for the rest of life and I’m just going to continue to get crazier. I’m too afraid to interact with people irl because I’m afraid they’ll notice something is up, or that I’ll get thoughts. Almost my whole life is being consumed by these thoughts, I noticed a lot of things that used to keep track of in my day to day life I’ve completely forgot about. I’m worried if I see a therapist I’ll get misdiagnosed and only get worse. Everytime I try to remind myself of old morals my mind tells me that I was only being brainwashed and that I’m trying to brainwash myself again. It feels like I don’t even want to go back to my old life, it feels like I only want to follow these thoughts and see where they lead me and it sucks that I predicted all of this would happen. That my mind would come up with more unwanted stuff and I’d forget about everything I’ve ever cared about and become lost in confusion. I think I’d rather see someone in person than online, but I’m not sure about the therapists in my area or if they’ve ever even seen anything like what I’m going through. I don’t even know if it’s ocd anymore, but I really wish I could get out of this. It feels like I’m getting worse everyday even though I know it’s just all in my head and I need to let it go and focus on real life but I can’t stop worrying about what’s in my mind and what happening to me and what’s going to happen.

Contamination anxiety playing up at the moment. My brother who is living with us at the moment refuses to brush his teeth, wash himself/his hair or change his clothes. He doesn’t take hand sanitiser out with him, he’s been meeting friends without a mask and he only washes his clothes like 1 every 8 weeks. To be frank he does not smell good. It makes me so anxious, it makes me not want to be around him and it makes the rest of my family irritated too. We’ve tried talking to him but he says that it is our problem and that we should just get over ourselves, and that society is what makes us want to wash. I can’t tell whether my ocd and anxiety is being unreasonable or whether I am justified in my ill feeling. Not sure. Has anyone else got experience with this?

i'm very scared.. i feel like i can't take it.. i feel so hopeless. am i the only one that gets thoughts like " yeah you are attracted to that child" or sometimes i feel like i can't control myself but, something tells me it's just that my thoughts are so hard that i feel as if i can't. i'm very scared though.. i'm literally so young , 18 to be exact, i feel like i can't control this POCD, i'm planning on ending my life on september, i cant anymore. i get scared ill act on my intrusive thoughts

*Recovery Inspiration* Hi everyone, I hope you’re all doing as well as possible during these difficult times. I have decided to share my success story so far. Bare in mind, I’m not fully recovered yet but definitely on the road to it (maybe 75%) recovered. Therefore, I just want to pass on some inspiration and words of advice from my journey of Pure OCD. I found it all started during quarantine maybe because we started to overthink too much when we had too much time and stress on our hands. I felt awful because at the start of this year, I was at my happiest. I literally thought life couldn’t get any better. However, that soon changed when the OCD and anxiety kicked in. This was such a shock to the system because I went from one extreme to the other (My happiest to my saddest). I started doing my research online and learned this is just OCD and that your thoughts are just thoughts no matter how hard it may seem to recognise that. This gave me a great sense courage and massive relief. I learned in order to defeat this monster, I must be hungry for success and I’m sorry to say it but by nature, I am quite blunt, you have to grow a pair of b***s. Don’t get me wrong, I did dwell on my thoughts for many weeks, had breakdowns, do compulsions and ruminate etc. I’ve had urges, sensations, false attractions, guilt, shame, feeling of numbness and being emotionless. Basically all the usual symptoms of OCD trying to scare you. I’ve been going through depersonalisation/derealization too because of OCD but I don’t care anymore because I know this will pass too and is just a protection mechanism sent from my brain. Finally, once I started to stop fighting the thoughts and let them flow without giving them attention, they started to lessen and lessen. At this stage now, I finally understand this is just my OCD talking, NOT me. See OCD is essentially a bully, it will try convince and manipulate you into believing the thoughts it sends you. The bully craves attention and will feed off reactions which is why you must limit your reactions. I have being taken Prozac since June which has been a massive help in reducing my anxiety so it can allow me focus more on doing ERP work. I haven’t had any therapy because unfortunately I couldn’t find any OCD specialist where I live. I’m sure therapy is great and I would advise it if it’s available for you but the more and more I think about it, it’s up to us at the end of the day to make the change, not a therapist. They will provide you all the skills and tips to recover but it’s up to you to implement them. So guys I wish you all the very best in your recovery. I promise things will get better once you take the steps towards getting better and more importantly, you yes YOU deserve to get better. Don’t mind OCD doubting you. It is the doubting disease after all. People with OCD are the total opposite of their thoughts, they are good people. That’s the reason why we worry so much because we’re more sensitive and against our thoughts. Don’t hold off until tomorrow either to make a change. Start today so that you’re one day closer to living your normal life again. Good luck.

Please someone talk to me. Hello, i haven’t been diagnosed with ocd because i wasn’t able to consult a therapist. After Countless google searches, i saw articles regarding hocd and rocd. And i think i have it. But what if i don’t? What if i’m in denial and i’m only using my boyfriend to forget my ex and that i’m a lesbian?

Does anyone have any tips for recognizing when contamination worries are becoming obsessive vs. when it’s a typical reaction to the current pandemic situation? I don’t really have contamination fears but I find myself really worrying about any interactions I’ve had when I go out somewhere now. For example I went out to pick up an item yesterday (with a mask and everyone around me had a mask of course) but the woman helping me at the store was definitely closer than she should’ve been (she was also wearing a mask) so now I have a small worry she could’ve passed COVID onto me. I’m not asking for reassurance that I don’t have it, because obviously no one can tell me for certain, but I would just like to know how this sounds to anyone who experiences a similar dilemma.

Guys again today has been very hard for me. I was sitting down and I saw my sister sitting in a certain way. I didn’t thing it was sexually attractive. But like the way her body was positioned in an arch or sumn was weird. And I noticed it. And it because a lot of the times I see people post sexual pictures or I find people attractive in similar poses. But like I don’t wan to find my little sister attractive. And I don’t. But like I noticed the pose and I was really scared that I found it attractive. She was also wearing a shirt that showed a lot of her legs. And I don’t know the way my mind describes things to me sometimes makes things worse. Like the way I tried to talk to myself to calm myself down worried me more. Like my mind is slowly trying to convince I am attracted. But like why. Why does this have to happen. I’m I a pedophile??! What if I actually found it attractive? Do pedos get worried like this? Help!! Anyone else experience something similar? Help!!

People with OCD often fume "why do the god damn thoughts have to ruin everything?!?!" Don't get me wrong,, unwanted words and pictures in our heads can be pretty unpleasant. But they don't actually ruin activities. Imagine thoughts as insects and whatever activity you care about as a camping trip. In this analogy, the question "why do the thoughts always ruin x" becomes "why do mosquitoes always ruin camping trips?" - As anyone who enjoys spending time outside can tell you, insects are everywhere. Most are boring and we pay them no attention. Some, like butterflies are super pretty or interesting, and we enjoy them. Some insects bite. Mosquitoes are like unwanted thoughts, we'd rather they not be there because they bite us and cause some discomfort. - Most camping trips have mosquitoes. If mosquitoes always ruined camping trips, or even ruined most or half of camping trips, camping just wouldn't be a thing. Yet loads of people love camping, despite mosquitoes. So clearly mosquitoes aren't the problem. What can ruin a camping trip is the person's response to mosquitoes. Mosquitoes will only ruin your camping trip if you ... 1)expect there will be no mosquitoes 2)don't prepare for mosquitoes (bug repellent, appropriate clothing and tent) 3)get onto the campsite and go "omg, these mosquitoes SHOULDN'T be here" 4)get bit a couple times and DISQUALIFY THE POSITIVE by thinking "yeah, fishing was fun, but it doesn't matter because I got bitten up" 5)use BLACK AND WHITE THINKING and conclude that any the trip is with all good or all bad, so getting bit by mosquitoes meant it wasn't perfect sooo "this trip was the worst. The mosquitoes ruined it" And, it's pretty likely that by the time you've done those five things, you OVERGENERALIZE your bad experience on this camping trip and say "all camping trips are a miserable waste if time! I'm never going on one again". If you follow through and never camp again, you lose out on an activity that could have brought you great joy as well as opportunities to learn that mosquitoes don't ruin camping trips. - Now, let's apply this to unwanted thoughts during activities (in this example, game night9 we want to enjoy. Here's how to set yourself up to not let the thoughts ruin the activity - 1) expect some unwanted thoughts to occur during game night 2)prepare in advance for the unwanted thoughts (acceptance statements, response prevention plan, having someone there to encourage you, a list of benefits of fighting OCD and engaging in the activity prewritten out on a notecard in your pocket) and then use the tools you prepared yourself with 3) when an unwanted thought arises, think something like "look, a thought. It's about time you showed up! You can stay as long as you want, but I'm not focusing on you" 4) name both enjoyable and unenjoyable parts of the activity without using one to cancel out the other "the intrusive thoughts were unpleasant and I didn't especially like the dessert they served. The board game was so exciting, we didn't know who would win up until the final moment. And petting the dog was pretty sweet too" 5) use balanced thinking "overall, game night was pretty good. There were some unpleasant parts, but I enjoyed a whole lot of it. 6) it's unlikely you'll overgeneralize at this point, but catch yourself if you do. Attend game night a few more times before deciding if you want to make it a regular activity.

Can someone with ROCD (relationship OCD) tell me how they deal with it? My boyfriend and I have been rocky on and off, but I still love him and want to work through our differences together. I think things like well there is someone better out there for me, what if I’m just staying in it because it’s comfortable, etc. I’ve had these thoughts for a while now and they are hard to navigate because they are valid reasonings as to why we might not work out, but then there are valid reasons as to why we could work out HELP ME PLZ

Has anyone here ever been doing fine the all of a sudden get anxiety while driving or doing everyday activities like shopping and such ? I have the fear of having a panic attack and it’s so stressful for me as I am a single mom and need to to everyday things 😔

Tips on working on self esteem? I am self aware on my unhealthy attachment styles in relationships and men in general. I’ve had self esteem issues since I was a child. In college I was like the ugly duckling turned hot, and subsequently I was promiscuous for years. Recently my friends with benefits from college (one of my best guy friends), who I fell in love with but we had a falling out because I was so attached and heartbroken when he didn’t feel the same, contacted me telling me he had a dream about me. It’s been 5 years since we graduated college. We sent each other some sexual snaps (without faces) and he acted so into me again. I sent some more the next day and I got no response. He’s an engineer so I know he’s super busy but I immediately look too much into these things and think bad about myself. He told me to come down to Florida to visit him for a few days but he didn’t answer my snaps so my self esteem kicks in and I assume he doesn’t like it or feels weird now. Like maybe he felt horny for a second and he didn’t wanna hear from me after that one time he contacted me.

can someone please just talk to me ):

how were your experinces on medication for OCD? which medications helped the best? my therapist recommended me see a psychiatrist for medication but im terrified of getting on them in the first place because i dont want them to affect me negatively

i can’t go to bed until i do certain things can anyone help?

My OCD has been attacking my Dad lately. For whatever reason my ODC says “what if u r face gets red around him or while you’re talking to him and ppl think u like him or what if I have a panic attack around him and ppl think that he must’ve done something to me to make me afraid of him and HE DIDNT! He’s never been anything but a loving great Dad. It makes me feel like such a horrible person. It causes me at times to avoid him and I don’t want to. I just want these horrible thoughts about my Dad to go away. Has anyone else experienced this? And if so how did you cope? I HATE myself for this😭

really struggling tonight 💔 currently tapering off my medication and having constant panick attacks. I suffer with GAD, Emetiphobia, health anxiety and different forms of OCD. the withdrawal is terrible and making me.feel sick so becuase of my health anxiety and emetophobia it heightens everything and I just feel I'm about to die at any minute. can anyone relate or have any words of wisdom?

Freaking out because I feel like I can be such a toxic person in my head. Like I think some mean mean things that I’m incredibly ashamed of, and have a lot of aggression towards things. Mostly friends. It’s all internal and I really don’t let it show in my actions. I am caring to them all because they don’t deserve anything less. I just feel like a fraud for thinking the things I do and then acting kind. I do care for them I just also have some awful brain noise.

Stuck. A few days ago,I saw three years ago I was invited in a chat that had revolting content. It was full of racial slurs, and nsfw ,gore,etc. I never sent any messages nor interacted with it,I suppose i never checked it and never was aware of its nature. However,it haunted me for days on end and I felt immense guilt by association alone,I felt disturbed to the extent its all i thought about,and the only thing I thought about. I constantly showered,struggled to eat,and either struggled to sleep or slept excessively. When finally overcoming the guilt,that it had no reason to be there because it was not my actions nor was I aware of it until three years or so after ,another thought came by. That if the content was so openly shocking and vile,whos to say they hadn't sent something illegal,and whilst scrolling through the hellhole I just so happened to miss it. I remember one user in particular had a picture of a young girls face sent in,i remember it just being a face and nothing else from what I observed. The only nsfw things i saw were also cartoons like Wendy(from the fast food chain). it haunts me still if I just didn't look close enough,it was really something more sinister. This sort of triggered my past POCD,and now I cant stop obsessing over it,going back to the memory over and over in spite of not being able to recall anything else. Its sort of inhibited my ability to look to the future and relax in the present,I cant do things without thinking about it. I'm considering talking to a hotline regarding its effect on me, but I dont know if its safe to discuss. The whole situation has drained everything about my life tbh

I’ve shared this before but I want to share again. I’ve always struggled with ocd of every subtype. I had it pretty manageable up until I gave birth to my daughter, which was about a year ago. Since then, my ocd, anxiety, depression have all ramped up, but I still thought I had it under control, up until about a month ago. Having a child caused every subtype and compulsion to flare up. Intrusive thoughts, checking- POCD, Harm ocd, perfectionism ocd, thanatophobia, existentialism ocd, health ocd, health anxiety, contamination ocd- you name it! But I still thought I had it all under control. I work in a criminal defense law firm, so I’m constantly reading police reports about the horrible things people do, and receiving calls from people in jail and I’m always in my head thinking that we are all one decision away from losing control, ending up in prison and having a completely different life. These thoughts haunt me. I feel like the human mind is so complex and if someone else is capable, I surely am as well. Aren’t I? One day I read a particularly heinous child abuse story, and it completely messed me up. I had been doing a lot of research on ocd and avoidance and compulsions and after reading that story I felt so triggered but also so confident that I would never want to do anything like that to my own child. But the fear was still inside of me. So strong. That night I went home knowing I would struggle with my ocd while caring for my child. I changed her diaper and buttoned her onesie and had intrusive thoughts/feelings and urges. I breathed through them and acknowledged that they were ocd thoughts, that I was expecting to have given the day I had. Because of my ocd, I have always avoided handling my baby in anyway that might be deemed inappropriate. I see a lot of people hold their babies or lift their babies in a way where their hand is positioned in the crotch. Even though it is not sexual, I’ve always avoided it because I didn’t want to feel weird doing so. I wanted to avoid any doubt or feeling or thought that it might conjure up. As the evening progressed my daughter was going to bed and she kept standing up in her crib and wouldn’t drink her bottle. I kept laying her down and by the time I would be able to grab her bottle she would be standing up again. I needed to lay her down with one arm and hand her the bottle immediately with the other hand. I had the thought if only I could scoop her up with one hand and hand her the bottle with the other-but that would require me to maneuver her in a way that positions my hand between her legs. Immediately I was fearful but then realized this would be a good opportunity to practice ERP. I was so excited to de-sexualize that in my mind and to finally break through the fear of handling my daughter that way. I thought about the intrusive thoughts bit had earlier in the evening and immediately said “no this isn’t sexual, do not avoid it” and without second thought-I did it. I laid her down with one arm, which resulted in my hand between her legs. She was fully clothed and diapered but immediately I was overcome with guilt and panic. Why did I do it? Was it to act out on a sexual urge? What did it mean? What were my true motives? Would if they were to gain sexual gratification? I know they weren’t. I was super confident and ready to stick it to my ocd that night. But that confidence is replaced with doubt, guilt and fear. I’ve struggled with this since it happened. I have good days and bad days, but I can’t seem to stop replaying it. New emotions have surfaced that weren’t even there, new thoughts, the whole scenario has been played so many times over and over again in my head like a broken record to the point where I don’t even know what’s real or imagined at this point. I keep trying to remind myself I did not have Ill intent when executing the action and that i was wanting to practice ERP and not avoid a certain gesture due to my anxiety. But my mind keeps saying “what if” ...what if you did it with Ill intent deep down?

I want to share my story in case some of you are going through the same thing. Especially new parents who are suffering with POCD. About two years ago my mother had caught her father fondling my nephews genitals.. now I’ve gone through my share of trauma such as sexual assault and almost being molested so when my mother told me about what her father had done to my nephew it broke me... the reason being is because bad things shouldn’t happen to children it just shouldn’t! Thus, it made my hatred for pedophiles and child molestors even bigger. The hatred was so big that my OCD decided to use this hate and fear against me it started feeding me intrusive images that I didn’t want to see, it made my anxiety sky rocket to the point where one day I gave an intrusive thought so much thought and meaning that I thought “what if its real.” The intrusive thought began like this it was a simple black and white image of a hand passing by someone.. Everytime I’d go back to analyze it it would change it went from black and white to it looking completely real, then it turned into a hand passing by a toddlers crotch, then it turned into my hand passing by my nephews crotch. At this point it scared the living hell out of me because I knew it wasn’t real however it gave me extreme anxiety and then my ocd started playing the doubting game “well what if it is real it gives you anxiety it must be real.” I lived with my ocd constantly telling me “I was a sick fuck, a pedophile, a child molestor, and that I would go to hell for what I did” but what exactly did I do? I didn’t even remember that occuring? I couldn’t remember yet I was able to see these images in full detail, why? That’s when I decided to try NOCD out and my therapist got me through it with exposures as well as ultimate acceptance of uncertainty. The fact of the matter is OCD scares us and makes us think and feel as if certain things are real, if it didn’t feel real it wouldn’t be ocd. I guess what I’m trying to get at is the way I handled this situation was I looked at it from both sides. Okay let’s say my hand slightly passing by whom evers crotch occurred what was the intent behind it? How is that any different then my hand passing by slightly on someones hand leg or crotch when passing by a huge crowd? Because that happens to all of us. We don’t intend to touch others when in a huge crowd but it happens. Now we can look at the other perspective which is it didn’t happen at all and it’s just an intrusive thought created based on my hatred of pedophiles and child molestors. The point I am trying to make is ocd will use anything that is important to us and distort it because it wants to ruin our lives it wants to bring fear and doubt into our lives! After two years of therapy and overcoming as well as still recovering from my ocd I can finally say that I no longer believe my intrusive to be true. I know that it’s not real however from time to time it does in fact pop up and bring fear and guilt into my life but I have to constantly use my skills I was taught by my NOCD therapist and understand that one it isnt real and if it where real it wouldn’t be what my ocd makes me feel and think it is. The point I’m trying to make is if I can overcome and recover from POCD so can all of you!