Welcome to
the NOCD Community

hi, I’m emily and I’ve been living with ocd for about 2 years now. I’ve always had contamination ocd and always feel like I have to wash my hands after I touch anything. I don’t know how to live life without my hands being clean. For instance, i could eat something and get my hands dirty and I wouldn’t like how they feel. Do u know how to not wash ur hands in this situation? I also just think about my hands throughout the whole day and I just want to live a normal life like a normal person but my ocd is in the way. How do I become normal again?

I'm feeling really stuck right now. I'm more anxious and my OCD just keeps getting worse. It takes me FOREVER to get anything done. I keep getting stuck doing my rituals until they feel right & I end up being late to work or picking up my boyfriend or just whatever & it's getting even more annoying. I've been going to therapy since 2014, but it never really talked about my OCD. I mean, I have but I made it seem like I had it handled & that it really wasn't all that bad. Which, at some point, it wasn't... But now I know that I really really need help but I'm scared. I'm scared because idk what it's like to not have it. I was on Zoloft for about a year and a half and I didn't realise that my OCD was nearly gone until I came off of the meds and it came back in full force and then some. But I've had this ever since I was a little kid & I'm scared for a life without it. It never feels like the "right time" to bring it up to my therapist. It's like, if I tell my therapist about it, and I work on getting better, how will my family and I be safe? Logically I know that my actions or lack thereof won't change the outcomes of anything, but my OCD is telling me otherwise & it has a much louder voice. I guess I'm also nervous because what if I do get better & I'm happy, but then something happens that triggers me and my OCD comes back? Idk if I can go through that again. I feel like once I get rid of my OCD I'll be anxiously waiting for it to come back, do some rituals to prevent it from getting me again, then realise that I've just played myself & all of my worrying about the OCD has only brought it back. I'm sorry for the long post, I just needed to get my thoughts out there.

Anyone have anxiety or ocd with Insanity? A fear of insanity? Or ocd with not letting yourself feel good (not sure if that’s depression). Such as, not thinking it’s fair or “right” for you to feel good or succeed, that you’re not “allowed to” like yourself, or talk and socialize with people because you’re using them?

Hi! Does anyone else deal with compulsive nail/skin around nail picking? I’ve done it since I was a kid but now that I’m older people make comments on it. Any tips/tricks? Thanks!!

POCD Trigger: I really hate this disorder and I don’t know how much longer I can do this for. I work at a daycare and I’m constantly bombarded with these thoughts that I have hurt a child or even molested them. It is the worst feeling and part of me knows I’d never do that but my OCD really does take over my life. Today, for instance, I was rocking on of the children and I rocked them for two seconds by accident and it told me I molested them. And when I when to pick them up to put them in the play area my hand accidente touched the front of their leg and it told me again I had hurt them, a similar thing happened with another child today where I was feeding them and I accidentally rocked them and I was now a molester. It really is the hardest disorder to deal with. And I hate how it attacked my occupation, I love working with kids and child psychology and everything, but my ocd is really affecting everything.

Trigger POCD So last night I tried doing ERP to a pic of kids in swimming costumes and it went ok for the first few mins, anxiety went up and down but tried to be mindful and stay with the thoughts. Then groinal / arousal happened and I had this thought to get off. I don’t get off often. It felt like I just wanted to get off in general, NOT to the picture or thinking of kids or anything like that. It was the first time something like that had happened. What does this mean? Was it related to the thoughts or can people get turned on for no reason? and I was up most of the night crying about it. I called in sick to work due to anxiety for the first time. I feel like I can’t get out of bed today.

Are you guys open about your OCD and talk to others about it or do you keep it to yourself? Has talking about it helped in any way?

Question, Does anyone ever get scared that they really will end their life if it doesn’t get better even though they don’t want too? I have suicide ocd

Ugh this illness SUCKS !!!! I’ve spoke on here about my struggles with POCD before, as recently it’s become harder to cope with and had gotten harder than it was. Since I’ve posted on here the other day, I was starting to calm down, however on New Year’s Eve, my little nephew came to stay over as my sister (his mum) was going out and needed someone to look after him. I look after him a lot, however he was going to be sleeping over, and not only that, but in my bed (whilst I was also sleeping in it). This wouldn’t have even been a problem before POCD really hit, but I’ve just spiralled and can’t settle my mind. He did sleep over and it was all fine, despite me being so nervous about the whole situation. Everything was fine (even though the intrusive thoughts didn’t stop). However, the next day, an intrusive thought popped to my mind and I was all of a sudden thinking ‘omg what if I’ve done something inappropriate to him or hurt him whilst I was asleep’ even though I know I didn’t do this ! (I mean I know you don’t know what you do when you sleep but I know I didn’t do it because I would never do that!) not to mention, I couldn’t sleep properly on that night because I was panicking so much ! But I can’t get this intrusive thought out of my mind and it’s making me feel so upset and down. I would never do that to him or any child !!!! But my mind just keeps going ‘what if you’ve done something inappropriate to him’. And then today I went shopping with my sister and my nephew and he was acting normal with me but then in the shop he started misbehaving which he doesn’t regularly do, (just stuff like his attitude and things). And at one point, he didn’t want to hold my hand which is strange because he always does, I know this is stupid because kids have days where they misbehave, but obviously my OCD is like well it means this and it means that. I hate it !!! I don’t know what to do, I just want to get the thought out of my head, I don’t want to keep having the ‘what if’ thoughts. How do I get them to go or settle ?!

Question. I’m going to a psychiatrist and I am trying to fill out the pre questionnaire thing they sent us. One of the questions (well, technically a statement) is “I wish I were of the opposite sex”. The best way I could describe how I feel about my own gender identity is that I’m nonbinary. Being young I know there is still a possibility that later I’ll learn more about myself change my mind about using that label, though that isn’t my main concern. Mostly I’m worried because I’m a minor and I am definitely not ready to come out to my parents. They don’t even know I like girls yet so I don’t think the first time to bring up my gender confusion will be in a doctors office. Has anyone who has had a similar experience let me know how important it would be for me to answer this question honestly? I don’t want to lie but I feel like if I lie on just this one question it won’t be that big of a deal, will it?

Do you think that me saying to myself, “these are ocd thoughts, they aren’t true at all” a compulsion??? It makes me feel better like more relaxed but I am worried that maybe it is just a compulsion...But it can’t be I don’t think, bc it is the absolute truth. That is what ocd is. Intrusive thoughts that aren’t real or true about yourself. Thoughts??

Hey everyone. Need some advise. My bf told me that he thinks I use my OCD as an excuse to get out of things. Like riding his four wheeler through the mud and watching horror movies. I am terrified of catching some sort of infection from the muddy water surrounding his property and the images from horror movies fuel my religious ocd and also make their way into my intrusive thoughts. Any suggestions on what to say to him to explain how I’m feeling? We have been together forever and I really want him to understand so we can work together to lesson my fears. Thanks :)

I have HOCD and lately it’s been worse than usual. I’m wondering if it’s because I have met someone I really like. I’ve been getting to know this great guy and feel like I’m bound to screw things up based on the intrusive thoughts that I’m having. I either try to find things wrong with him or with myself. I feel like he could be someone who really could be an amazing addition to my life and I’m finding it so difficult to slow myself down because I’m always worrying about something. I’ve always been someone who feels guilty for their thoughts, like I have to tell someone or I’m not being honest. I feel like I’m hiding something from him when obviously I’m not, because they’re just thoughts. I know the OCD wants me to do this- to question, and to vocalize the thoughts and tell people- but I feel like vocalizing would give the thoughts more power which is exactly what the OCD wants me to do. But I still feel guilty and I’m not sure how to let this go. Tips on how to deal with this?

I get OCD about eating and drinking certain things. Anyone else?? Like my brain will tell me that it's poisoned or something. Help !

Anyone on here struggling with Trichotillomania? For those who don’t know what that long word is, it is a type of OCD that gives you the irresistible urge to pull out your own hair (from the scalp, face, or body). I have been struggling with it since I was in 8th grade. For most people with trich, pulling out hair can be a coping method for stress or anxiety. However, the disorder usually just causes more anxiety and insecurity. It is a tough case of OCD because it does not only affect you psychologically, but it can affect your psychical appearance in more extreme cases. Wow, that felt good to talk about for some reason. But anyways, if anyone who has trich, knows someone with trich, or wants to just have a conversation about it, please let me know! I’ve been dying to find someone to confide in for years- I feel embarrassed by my OCD.

Are we considered 'mentally ill'?

CW: Eating disorders - - - - - - - - - - - - Does anyone here have an eating disorder on top of OCD? I can’t stop thinking about the food I just ate, and how full it makes me feel.

The thoughts are not the problem. Your choice to take them seriously is the problem.

Everyone says I should take meds but I genuinely can’t. I don’t trust them

any of u who suffered with or do suffer with HOCD, did ur attraction for the opposite sex ever return (or for the same sex if you aren’t straight) ? this part of HOCD bothers me so so much :/ i miss the attraction i used to have for guys .