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the NOCD Community

I’ve started reading the Bible. I’m trying to convince myself I’m not going to go to hell. I just can’t stop thinking that because of something I did I deserve to be in hell. It says if you committed a sin unknowingly that will be taken into account, but the same goes if you did it willingly. Thing is I did something horrible because of my OCD obsessions and I KNEW it was horrible and wrong. But I had reached a breaking point, the worst low of my entire life, the darkest spot I have ever been and I pray to God no one here or anywhere ever will reach it. In this I did what I did because even though I was in therapy it didn’t help and I thought “perhaps I am a sociopath” and thought the thing to do would be to carry out with it and then I would know if I was insane and the scary thing is I didn’t think I’ll turn myself in for being a sociopath I thought “I’ll just live my life this way and no one will know. Ill just get good at it and live as a nut job because it’s who I am” but flash forward I found out afterwards that isn’t true because I have been wishing every day since then that I would have just killed myself instead. And thing is idk how much of this is real or a false memory. I know if happened but I hope more than anything I’m exaggerating it due to the years of torment after. Maybe I’m holding onto false hope. Anyway do you guys think God will know that even though I did it, it was my OCD telling me I’m a monster and should just do it? Or do you think this doesn’t matter I’ll probably be sent to hell and for the non religious, do you think it doesn’t matter what God thinks I’m a horrible person?

Do you ever get headaches from your OCD/anxiety? It seems like I get stressed from my OCD thoughts and rumination and it gives me a headache in the back of my head and makes me dizzy and disconnected?

I have the worst contamination ocd and I really need help. I told my mom about it and she told me I was crazy and need to get over it. I told my dad and he understands (he also has ocd) but doesn’t think I need to see a doctor. I literally live my life everyday worrying about being clean and I know it’s totally not normal, so I just want to go back living a normal life. And my parents don’t think I need help. What do I do? :(

Hello, first time posting here. Does anyone else suffer from bad health anxiety? Due to stress mine has gotten pretty bad recently and for a week now I've been REALLY scared of skin cancer to the point I have difficulties sleeping and I worry all the time. Logically, I've had my moles all my life and most of them are very small and round and I don't think the bigger "weirder" looking ones have changed at all (ofc, my brain keeps telling me to check them constantly and looking at them makes me imagine things and causes anxiety). I also keep imagining I'm finding "new" small ones all the time (probably just haven't noticed them before bc they are so tiny, light brown and I haven't been checking myself like this before..). This is just really frustrating for me and is causing distress. If anyone else has experienced similar worry, do you have any tips to calm down or force yourself to stop searching your skin for marks and spots? This new obsession is driving me crazy, and makes me feel really foolish, but the feelings are real and scary!

I’m leaving nOCD I wish everyone luck u all r amazing people please get well soon stay strong and positive I going to heal myself because I’m using this up for reassurance n it’s making my mind play up even worse I hate feeling like a bad monster so wish me luck everyone if it gets to the point I might have to get therapy but trying to get over it b4 I do wish everyone the best of luck ❤️

Does anyone else’s intrusive thoughts at times make them ‘feel’ things? Like if you have an intrusive thought about your boyfriend you then begin to feel you don’t want to be with him. And afterward you feel extreme guilt and shame because you do love him so much. I used to call them “fake feelings”

I am new to this app so I really appreciate any feedback on this post! I suffer from what started as intrusive thoughts which has now escalated immensely over the last few years. I feel like I am not in control of myself, when it comes to being around my pet, other humans and worry about several things and more. Another one is a worry that I will betray my boyfriend who I love. Sometimes I have intrusive thoughts so strong that it almost becomes like a ‘feeling’. And I know I love my boyfriend but it’s almost like I’m so focused all the time that I feel exhausted, so sometimes I’ll get let the thoughts in about my boyfriend and being with him, and then it comes so strong that I almost believe the intrusive thoughts about him. When I’m out of this state of mind - I then feel extreme guilt and worry that I’ve done something to betray him like cheating. I’m so confused by this and so distressed. What I’ve wrote probably doesn’t even make sense, but if it does to someone, could you please shed some light on this x

Pocd telling me the reason I'm anxious is because I KNOW that I want these thoughts or that I like/enjoy them ?

I’m so convinced I’m a pedo please help me I can’t explain anymore I’m dying I lost my dog (best friend) today I really need someone to talk to

TW, sexual abuse I’m not sure if this is reassurance seeking I just every now and then feel raw and confused. I cant tell if it’s false memory on some part but when I was younger we used to have a family friend who would come around and I never realized it till I got older but he had a rather inappropriate connection with me in the things he said and then I came out to my family about when I realized he had molested me, rubbing my back under my shirt and then touching my breasts. I remember this pretty clearly I feel but every now and then I feel guilt? I can’t tell if it’s my ocd, I’m sure it is but it tells me I’m lying, that, that doesn’t qualify as molestation and that I falsely accused him when even if I asked him as a child I can’t quite remember... that’s still wrong and something an adult shouldn’t be doing as well as the other ways he interacted with me. It just confuses me, I start to get anxious and can’t figure out if I falsely accused him despite the memory of it being vivid and that not being an appropriate thing. It feels horrible every time it comes into my mind and I feel uncomfortable.

Last 24 hours have been pure hell. Lots of intrusive thoughts. Lots of images and sensations of me committing terrible things. I know they are not me. I don’t even fear that I will or even want to do it. I need my brain to leave me alone. I struggle to enjoy sex at the moment. I feel like an abuser. I’m anything but! It’s the total opposite of who I am! WTF is wrong with me?? Why won’t my brain get the god damn memo??? I’m going to send my cousin, my abuser to jail and I’m going to ruin his life like he has ruined mine. I’ve had enough of this. Everyone is going to know what a perverse little paedophile he is. I’m in the process of reporting him. And screw the family - they can hate me all they like. He’s not getting away with it. I hate my extended family except two people. They can all go to hell!!!!

Is there different types of panic attacks or no. Also what’s an anxiety attack is there a difference? Idk what I’m experiencing

Anyone have ROCD - centered around your significant others friends / family members? Fear of wanting someone else. :(

If you had a college counselor tell you that you have OCD and even said he would play my story on an OCD commercial if he could, would you say I have been diagnosed? He technically can’t diagnose because he works for a college (even though he has a PHD in counseling). I’ve also been prescribed zoloft from my doctor for ocd but she didn’t technically diagnose me either. I always feel slightly ashamed for talking about ocd on social media because I haven’t TECHNICALLY been diagnosed. Can anyone relate to this or can give their opinion on if they think it matters that I haven’t been officially diagnosed? Then again, I’m not even sure what that process looks like.

Has anyone else been diagnosed with anxiety and OCD traits?

Does anyone know of people who have recovered from ocd? Or have you yourself significantly lessen the symptoms? I’m at a point where my hope for getting any better is very little. I need some hope

Hello, i have ocd and find myself washing my hands after touching almost anything that I feel is unclean. I worry that if I don’t wash them then contamination could occur or it could negatively affect me somehow. It’s gotten to the point where I think so unrealistically of when I should or shouldn’t wash them, causing me to not know what to do so I just wash them to be safe. Could anyone help me with ways to fix this issue or lessen it please.

i’m having a really bad night. my most common obsession is reoccurring and it is fear that i am pregnant even though i am a virgin. i will overanalyze even the smallest symptoms and used to go as far as searching the internet of symptoms for hours, calling the same hotline over and over to say my specific situation to which at one point they requested i not call because it was for people with a real risk, and i have also bought multiple pregnancy tests in the past. others think i’m crazy and now i’ve been diagnosed with OCD i understand why i get like this but cannot seem to see if my zoloft is working. with my other obsessions (i have a mix of pretty much every sub category of OCD) i don’t even know where they trigger from. my heart is racing and i feel like im terrified but have to hide it around others.

This past week has been rough. I am obsessing so much about my boyfriend. I obsess that I might lose him to another man. Or that I may not love him anymore. I don’t want these thoughts but I can’t stop them. They feel so real. I never had a reason to think these thoughts. We get along so well. I never asked for these thoughts but they just came and now I can’t stop them. I have been crying and very emotional this past week. I finally found a guy that I loved and now I’m afraid I’m going to lose him or have lost him and there is no reason for that fear.

Hey everyone. Feeling worried about judgment but at least I know I'm among friends here. My worst obsession by far, and since childhood, is sexual OCD. Particularly, my obsessions relate to incestual relations. Sometimes the thoughts include children and even animals. It's absolutely horrific and puts me into a short but severe state of what I might call shame-induced shock. It's like this overwhelming sensation to crawl out of my skin and just not exist. It was very validating for me to be put on Zoloft for my OCD after 10 years of mis-diagnoses. The Zoloft pretty much stopped all of those obsessions in their tracks and for the first time I felt like a normal human being. Not to mention, the fact that the Zoloft was effective helped me to realize that those thoughts had NO basis in reality or my actual feelings, and were simply a product of the disease. Lately, they've been coming back. Idk if it's my meds stopping working or maybe not having been in therapy for a while or something else entirely but I'm becoming more and more disturbed. It's to the point where I feel uncomfortable with and even resentful towards the idea of spending time with my parents because I don't want to think those thoughts around them and want them to stay away from me. I have no where else to talk about this to. I know it's only a symptom of OCD but I feel like disgusting and it's really getting to me. This is the kind of thing that caused me to drink and use drugs in the past. I'm now almost 2 years sober and I'm worried that these thoughts will effect my recovery. Thank you for listening. Means more than you know.