Welcome to
the NOCD Community

My HOCD is telling me that it’s okay to be attracted to my friends. I don’t want to be attracted to my friends. I just want to be a straight man whose attracted to women. No anxiety after 5 months. Kill me dude.

Is it possible for ERP to be too much for people? I am suffering with postpartum ocd among some harm and religious stuff... mostly always geared towards my son. I’m just wondering if there have been other modes of therapy that have been have been found effective and less anxiety inducing inducing. I’m doing ERP, but it’s very hard to just sit with my anxiety when I’m trying to take care of a baby. Thanks for any tips!

I’m really sad I’ve been going through this since July and Im Sad all the time, I feel like this will never leave. Apperently it doesn’t. Hocd kills me and rocd just fuels it. My rocd makes me think I have feelings for my ex and still want to be with other guys but then my hocd makes me think I don’t want to kiss my boyfriend and that I hate it and want to be with girls and makes my thoughts go bad. I still complus everyday but just try ignore it, it’s still always in the back of my head and I’m really upset. It’s like I don’t cry and get emotional in a situation with my boyfriend and I freak out. Or I then freak out that I’m using him for emotional support. I’m really just done with this, I feel like I have no where to go anymore. So much people on this also say ocd never leaves them. It’s just so scary because hocd is my first proper ocd theme Thats lasted this long and now rocd. I feel like I just don’t have anything left in me or to live for.

My HOCD is making me feel like I don’t want to masturbate to lesbian porn. I was doing the deed and it felt like I didn’t want to masturbate to lesbian porn. I’m scared that if I look up gay porn, that it will get me aroused and excited more than lesbian porn and it scares me. I will never look up gay porn but this HOCD is giving me temptations to check and I’m scared as hell.

I'm trying to understand why a therapist would recommend dropping my wallet and debit card/cash if my intrusive thought was "What if I've lost my wallet?" I thought you exposed yourself to the thought itself, not the content. I'm very anxious, confused & scared, because ERP really confuses me. I know it's the primary treatment for OCD. But I thought it was about embracing your intrusive thoughts & not doing the compulsions.

Thought suppression is detrimental to recovering from ocd correct? Like say if my brain tells me to think of something, and I don’t want to, so I try to prevent the thoughts from entering. But then it does anyways, I end up feeling terrible. Or, even worse- if I just allow it, I feel guilty for allowing it, like I brought it on or didn’t do enough to stop it.

Ever since I had reached the age of 13, I felt like my childhood had left me just like that and I felt lost. I felt confused on what to do next the second junior high was all over. It felt like no one was holding my hand anymore, no one was guiding me and it definitely felt lonely. I had my friends here and there, but I wasn't aware of the emotional struggles I had felt. Throughout my highschool years, peer pressure happened to be one of the main causes for my depression, insomnia, loneliness, and trouble with keeping up with school. It felt confusing not having a shoulder to lean on or someone to love me back. It felt like for a while if I wanted something bad enough I could have it but that something never came and still hasn't come. Everytime I look back at my teen years, I can't find any real good thoughts to overpower the negative ones. The transition of leaving being a child to become an adult is one of the most difficult things people can go through. I had the real event OCD I have for things I did in my stupid teen years. Everyone including myself was at a part where hormones were going crazy. Everyone engaged in some sort of sexual activity whether it meant talking about it, reenacting sexual acts, or being in relationships which to this day is something I've never got to experience. I thought running away to the internet to make friends and explore my emotions would help but that honestly made everything so much worse. Why do I keep ruminating over the same things that happens 3 of more years ago over and over and over again? I keep fearing that the stupid mistakes I've done will destroy what I have now. I can barely focus on my present because my past takes up so much of my time and I don't want it to. I feel that I have changed and I don't do any of the things I used to anymore and I CRINGE at the fact that I've even done things like that in the first place. I just want to forget about it all and move on.

Any OCD questions? I love helping people, especially on this platform. Ask ahead ✨

guys i'm scared this wounds rude but yesterday my mom told me she supports p*dophilia and i'm scared that ill have tr@ma now although that isn't tr@ma i'm very scared tho :(

My boyfriend and I went through a rough patch a while back ago, we’ve patched it up and things are better than ever. But I over think if I feel the same after what’s happened, if I want a future with him especially after everything that’s went down, I fear the future, our future,I wanna say I love him, I know I love him, but what if I’m in denial about it all and I should just break up with him because deep down I know it isn’t going to work. I go back and forth and try to check if this is rocd or not and I’m scared if it’s not.

Can i higher dosage of medication make a difference im on 40mg of prozac thinking of going up to 60mg because im still struggling. Anyone else have any input?

I fucking hate when someone says some stupid shit that has nothing to do with me but my mind automatically tries to associate it to me. I fucking hate OCD!!!

Has anyone else experienced a decreased attraction to the opposite sex? I have and it fucking sucks. I’m pretty sure my social anxiety has something to do with that too, but I feel like the HOCD is playing a part as well...

Honestly I’m lost for words. All people can tell me is I’m doing it wrong and yet no one not even my previous therapist’s can tell me what to do. So what’s the point of waking up and doing anything at all? If I stop it gets worse if do something I still don’t get better. Smh. I want to get better I want to feel normal again. Do I know how no. Did my therapist know how obviously not cuz I’m not right still after 2 years. Like my goal is to get better. I want to get better. I try to take steps in getting better but yet I’m not seeing the results I should be seeing. I’m unsure how to get better anymore. I mean I meditate but yet still find myself searching for answers. I find myself still feeling empty. Like I’m doing my best and yet it’s still not enough anymore. I mean honestly I guess just laying in my bed meditating a couple times a day and not doing anything is my best bet right now. I already know people are going to tell me that I’ll get better and I can’t give up but the only way to get better is by doing the right steps and stop fucking up but my previous therapist did none of that she purposely let me fuck up and now I’m paying for it with no answer on how to get better now. I honestly can’t feel anything right now. If I’m not feeling anything isn’t this where I need help? Like what is therapy for if it isn’t to get me better but to let me fuck up to see if it’ll get me anxiety. Fucking she broke my back and now it’s cricket it ain’t put back together I know when I don’t feel anxiety and when I do but who cares right? She still gets to do therapy and I’m left with a cricket back so to speak smfh.

Hey! Any Christians out there? This is part of my OCD homework: What ways can we connect with God? One of my biggest compulsions is prayer. My therapist is giving me homework to see any other types of ways we can connect with God in a way that is beneficial. Please let me know, thank you so much 💜

Sometimes I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. I've been doing better with ERP and things were improving. But it never seems to last. All the thoughts are so persistent and I never feel any different. I still feel like I have arousal towards women and I feel nothing and disgust towards men. I feel like that is not normal HOCD. My therapist is encouraging me to just continue treating it as OCD. I find myself staring at people's body parts and not feeling anything towards guys. It makes me feel so ashamed and like I'm a liar.

Hi, I was diagnosed with pure OCD, a few years ago. Through time I struggle with various themes, starting with religion OCD, to harm OCD, pedophile OCD and sex orientation OCD. Through the years I manage not to heal completely but to manage my OCD thoughts, to build a decent life and for 1-2 years to be completely free from any OCD thoughts. To go from full OCD to free from OCD was something like a miracle for me. It changed me, I was seeing life from a different angle, appreciating each single day of my life free of OCD. I was truly happy, appreciating every small moment of my life. A year ago or so, I pass an experience that for me at least was very traumatic and I started to see the signs again of OCD. This time however was different, I could recognize the OCD traits but it was blend in with something else that I couldn't comprehend. I was seeing a therepist, and we were struggling to understand if I was also suffering from depression, bpd or cptsd. I am not currently seeing a therapist because of covid-19 and I am really struggling to understand how I can overcome all of these symptoms. I now started to understand that may struggle with relationship OCD, fist time for me. I always doupt my feelings for my significant other, I get constantly anxious if I am with the right person and when I get really anxious with thoughts I feel like I need to find the answers to these thoughts right away, and the anxiety builds even more forcing to feel that I need to get out of the relationship. Plus I have these feelings of sadness, sometimes I get really angry, irritiated, I don't believe in my self, I doubt him for everything, and I don't have any self esteem. I feel like I am at the bottom and through all of these symptoms I get lost and I don't understand what is happening to me. I read little about the quiet bpd, depression and cptsd. The one that clicks more with my other symptoms is the cptsd. So now I found myself lost because I may struggle with a new theme of OCD the relationship one and with a new condition ptsd and I really feel that I am loosig my life again. I lost my job, my relationship goes through a very difficult time, I feel that nobody understands me, that my friends don't really care, and that the more I try to get away from these symptoms the more I get in. I don't if any of you faced something similar, any suggestions would be appreciated. Just to let you know I am now searching for an online therapist in my country so hopefully of the next days I will find one. Thank you for listening.

i have this weird feeling of that i’m like not deserving of anything like i don’t deserve to be around anyone and i don’t deserve to do anything that i like its a really miserable feeling and i’m scared that it’s real that i actually should feel this way, i have done some bad things throughout my life but i don’t think i’m a bad person i really regret them now :( is this ocd ?

Can hocd make you say stuff in your head or to yourself. Does anyone else get this ?

Almost 6hrs of ERP and my anxiety is lowered but still not enough.