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the NOCD Community

I think I may be pregnant but it’s still too early to tell. It scares me because I think due to my ocd I may not be a very good mother. I think what if I have to be hospitalized again and can’t be there for my child? Or what if I get the intrusive thoughts about them? The ones about my husband have been coming back slightly but it’s definitely focused on health right now. My friend’s lung collapsed two days ago and she’s my age! (27) and now I’m terrified that it may happen to me or worse I may have a heart attack and die. If I am pregnant I may choose to abort. Idk yet, a part of me thinks that those of us with mental illnesses should be sterilized. I’m curious to know other ppls opinions on this subject...

This HOCD is so ridiculous, it’s impossible for sexual orientation to change

i totally got over the fear of me being gay but now i have a fear that i’m bi. has anyone else had this? any advice???

I hate ocd! Right now it is draining every piece of energy or happiness I have. I’ve been struggling for so long and feeling like the worst person ever forever. I’m falling into a depression, I’m hardly functioning, can’t sleep, can’t eat. Thoughts constantly in my head that maybe I don’t have ocd or that even if I do, it doesn’t matter. I want to live so badly for the people in my life that love me but in the past week from feeling this way I’ve lost over 10 pounds. I live in a really remote area and I feel like don’t have treatment options unless I move. It’s just so exhausting and I don’t know what to do anymore.

I’m so thankful for this community! Do you guys have any tips on how to overcome health anxiety OCD? (Basically obsessions around fear of getting sick/dying)

Anybody struggle with their heart health? I’m constantly worried about a heart attack. I keep feeling like my left arm hurts and I’ll continually press on it and think about the way it feels. I check my pulse constantly. Any slight feeling in my chest that isn’t “normal” freaks me out. I also keep thinking that I can’t breathe deep enough. I’ve started avoided eating because I don’t wanna eat foods with fat or something that could give me heart attack. I’m 18 and there’s no way I could be having a heart attack. What can I do to get over this?

Can relationship ocd not just be doubts about my partner of my feelings for them? Cause my ROCD started as that like “what if i didnt love them as much” or something then it translated to more things like “she’s a slut” or “she’s ugly” even though she’s NONE of those things. things like “i will cheat on her” and such. Plus feeling like i like somebody else, imagining myself with other people. Fear i might fall for someone else and overthinking that and feeling guilty. Just my thoughts, my ex was always involved and it made me feel guilt and doubt and anxiety and i HAD to confess it to them. Cause someone asked here whats ROCD and someone simply said doubting feelings and it makes me nervous cause i’d like to think i had rocd but seeing that makes me nervous that what if the thoughts were true?

Do my parents need to know I have ocd? Like can I get over it without going to a therapist? Idk how my parents would react. It would make my mom a lot more stressed than she already is, plus idk what my dad would do. I just don’t want to be thought of different than I already am, and I know that I will be if they know I have ocd.

Anxiety has stolen years from my life. Today, I will tell myself that I am off work tomorrow, and I will plan to go somewhere or I will plan to work on a project around the house. When the time comes, it is like I am paralyzed. I just sit here and think about what I planned, but I can't make myself actually do what I said I would do. I get so angry with myself for wasting my life. Has anyone gotten past this kind of problem?

Has anyone here experienced existential ocd? I’m sure I have that and am seeing a therapist next week.

Hey guys, POCD trigger. Have been diagnosed with pocd. Help needed. Having s massive panic attack. Woke up early and out of no where came an intrusive thought of a naked kid. As much as it caused me disgust and to have a tight chest anxiety etc it seemed like I enjoyed the thought? Like I couldn’t deny I enjoyed the image? Do not want to act on it and went to markets this morning and saw kids and got intrusive thoughts but thought oh that’s just OCD however these thoughts really upset me and now I feel like a non offending pedo in denial. Like I read some pedos can feel disgust too and I’m just freaking out. My therapist said thoughts don’t mean action but I wonder if I have secret desires and I can’t live like this. Has anyone else felt the same? Can an OCD thought seem “enjoyable?” And like you “like” the thought?

Trying to sit with anxiety after going to the dentists office today. Saw a teenage boy there, he was probably like 14-16, and my brain was like "do you find him attractive?? Do you?? Do you?? Oh you think he's cute?? So you ARE attracted!! Are you aroused?? Are you? Are you???" Trying so hard not to over analyze but it's proving to be very difficult ?

Any tips for dealing with guilt and shame about your past? I know I’ll never live my present if I keep letting old memories weigh me down.

Guys. I’m up and down at the moment but I’m still trying to fight this illness in the right way. I may need support from others - NOT REASSURANCE - just support. I was thinking: I may write short exposures here for my themes to really expose myself. It may also encourage others to face their Goliath! And that would make me so happy ? Who’s with me??

Okay. I’m going to probably sound a little crazy. I have had ocd my entire life. Now it’s revolving around my spouse and him possibly doing something bad. Latest obsession and anxiety: I was at my mother in laws house helping her with something on her phone. I noticed that Snapchat was on her device and asked her if she had it. She said it was very weird. She doesn’t use that and didn’t download. My husband and kids were at her house a couple of weeks ago to watch a football game. The thoughts I’m having are that he downloaded it to her phone and used it while he was there. Can anyone help me sort this out? It’s causing me significant distress. Obviously he knows I’m thinking this and thinks it is ridiculous.

Not sure whether I really have OCD? I’m 22 and have only considered the possibility I suffer from OCD in the past few months. I know I have had obsessive inappropriate thoughts and compulsions to confess to them that were so intense I felt sick all the time until I told my parents since I was a really young child, and in all my relationships have been worried I am gay and do not love my boyfriends / I do not love them anymore and have to dump them / intense paranoia they are cheating on me and will not tell me. In recent years I have had flare ups of thoughts that fit POCD and IOCD but when I told a friend I was worried about having OCD after looking into incest nightmares online, she told me she did not think I had it because another of our friends has OCD with counting compulsions (door locking, oven buttons, etc) and I believed I was just really messed up and that maybe it was just my anxiety. My boyfriend (not knowing about my POCD or IOCD thoughts at all) linked me to an article about a woman with OCD and suggested I research it more, and the behaviours and fears seem to fit me very well and make me feel so much less sick and alone. Does this sound like I may have it or might this just be my anxiety clinging onto something? (I have a tendency to cling to diagnoses then be disproved)

Hi guys. I've had the worst news possible. I've had health OCD for more then 15 years and with meds, ERP and a lot of effort I was starting to get by. But yesterday I went to the optalmologist for a regular checking, and all of a sudden she told me I have Glaucoma??. I'm 44. What the fuck!? No job, no family(all dead from cancer) and now the possibility of becoming......I don't even want to think about it. I am going to ask for a 2° opinion but this does not look good. I feel I have not incentives or motivations in life to keep going any more.And I will probably have to quit my meds(ISRS) just in case they have something to do with the Glaucoma. I feel very depress. I apologise for being so negative this time but I do not feel like talking to anyone close to me about it yet. The "what if" is killing me a and this is gonna be a hard one to get over...thank you for reading this and being there.

I need your help I really need your help right now. I was masturbating because I wanted to make sure that I get turned on from my boyfriends image but there was always thoughts about children coming up, not even specific images but just the thought of the word. I immediately stopped and thought “No I don’t want to think of this” and after it was gone I kept imagining my boyfriend. Then another thought came up. I did the same as before. This happened a couple of times during masturbation but I always tried to focus on the thought of my boyfriend. Right now I am anxious and afraid because I didn’t stop masturbating completely. I feel like those thoughts could have influenced me during the masturbation

Medsssss I am not writing this to ask people if you think I should come of my meds. I know this is a personal choice. I am only writing this as I want to know if others have...also had the simlar experiences: 1. With all discussion on this around this topic i.e. on online forums... Dr opitions... family/friend options it's know wounder we seek validation for every thought before we try something out. Before I started taking medication I was against taking medication them (shock horror a person like myself with who was arrogant with lack of knowledge seems cast judgement until they find themselves being required to take medication themselves.. ironic don't you think 2. At present I am taking quarter of a 50mg tablet of Zooloft a.k.a Sertraline. I find this is helping me....the pro's of taking this medication are as follows: - I am much happier person to be around. - I have more creative ideas and my written ability has improved dramatically. - I can last longer in bed (lads I gusse everything has a sliver linings). - I am less sensative to sounds. - I less joint pain. - I started looking more after my physical appearance. Cons - I am can end up stay up very late without feeling tierd (althought I can fall asleep right away when do go to sleep). - The meds are affecting my addicition recovery program. -When I am at meetings I tend to have the following thoughts and a arrogant attitude at begging of a meeting. Thus begging of the meeting I have following attitude about the program is dame... I am not like these people (then as the medication start wearing off during the meetings usually between 7.30 - 9 in the evening, this happens),my mind goes from I cannot relate to these people... to I can relate to these people, I have got to continue to take this process seriously or else I will end relapsing and if happens if their is a risk of me possible ending up killing myself (this change in attitude only appear.. when the small dosage of the meds wear off). - When I go back home visit my family I can behave in a hyper manic way and I am always cracking jocks... to the point I am making myself the class clown (I do this even when I want to stop behaving like this I cannot). When on medication I behave hyper manic. This can be annoying for other to be around. - When esay of the pain in my legs and back increases. - when I do not take medication I cannot stand loud noises, apart from listening to music or when I am at a concert. - I feel my Mr down below has slightly shrivelled as result it taking meds. I can still preform. When the meds wear off in the evening I tend go back to my normal size (this can feel slightly emasculating). - Going longer does not = mean more satisfaction expecially when you ready to finish, after 45 minutes. - I am get so creative to the extent... I forget there is only so much to do in one day. - With out the meds I do not think, I would be able to function at work or at home. - I have slight short term memory loss. - The inability to focus for long period of time. Can anyone relate with above?

Having a hard time here. 2018 has been a immensely tough year. I met the love of my life, but he bruised me in every possible ways. I have been under a lot of stress with school. I got pneumonia in September,2018. I was hospitalized. 2 days after I got released from the hospital, I got into a car wreck, probably because I was was way too medicated to drive, I was on high dosage of Prozac and Mirtazapine. My car was destroyed, luckily I was ok. I tried to date again. I cried during sex, I just seemed too depressed and like a wreck. Finally I met the sweetest guy in January, 2019. But bad things kept happening to me. Condom broke. I totally freaked out. I tried asking him all the details about his sexual history. He was kind but not that kind. Then he wouldn’t see me again because he can’t handle the ‘drama’. I would’ve gone to the emergency room to get Post-exposure prophylaxis if it were not for the bled off of money from previous pneumonia and car wreck emergency visits (I paid over $5000 for these unfortunate events). And now I’m seriously panicking about contracting hiv from the broken condom. It sucks. I’m barely hanging.