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Feeling so confused and angry about my ex girlfriend

Maybe this’ll put things in perspective for those of you suffering from obsessive sexual thoughts. Two summers ago I had a really attractive female personal trainer who was coaching me. Again, my sexual fantasies revolve around domination, so I like to ask women to compete with me (e.g. wrestle, race, or arm wrestle). I did make such advances on this woman verbally and it got so obsessive that she felt uncomfortable training me and we had to cease all communication. I made several more attempts to reach out to her and apologize and last summer she made it clear to me that she didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. Now, a logical person would leave her the hell alone. But I’m a sex addict. So tonight, she popped into mind for whatever reason but I currently have all social media sites blocked so I can’t go on there and find material to masturbate to. Nonetheless, I have found other sites that display peoples’ Instagram profiles so I have found a way around the blocks. So, after this woman popped into my mind, I tried like hell to locate her Instagram profile to see if I could find a video of her wrestling somebody. Couldn’t find anything. So then, I actually wrote out an email to her asking her to be my personal trainer again! And I almost hit the send button too! But I didn’t. I stopped myself and deleted the email without sending it thank god. What’s my point? If you are a sex addict, you ACT on sexual thoughts that pop into your head. You do everything in your power to achieve the high you are craving to feel, even if it means hurting other people or yourself in the process. That is the crux of what addictions of all types are about. So again, if you are feeling distressed about intrusive sexual thoughts, but you don’t actually act on them, your situation is not as dire as mine for instance. Do not be so hard on yourselves. You are not bad people for having obsessive intrusive sexual thoughts that you can’t control. I like to think I’m not a bad person either, but my problem is, in my opinion, more diar than those who simply have sexual thoughts but don’t act on them or hurt others in the process of doing so. Think of the lengths I was willing to go to in order to get what I wanted from this woman! It’s very predatory behavior. And I need serious help before I end up in jail. I hope relating this helps some of you to not be so hard on yourselves. Goodnight, ppl.

I Just read this somewhere. "Research has shown that many Americans have been misdiagnosed and are being issued prescription medication for conditions they do not have. Some of the commonly misdiagnosed mental illnesses include bipolar disorder, depression, and even obsessive-compulsive disorder." what would be misdiagnosed as ocd.

Has anyone had intrusive thoughts about having other disorders like ADHD or BPD or bipolar? Whenever I read a story about someone who is diagnosed with that I always google the symptoms or take a test because my mind is like “what if that’s me???”

i’m not sure if this is a part of ocd, something else, paranoia or something that most people go through .. but i have an issue with posters or action figures “staring” at me. i feel like they can hear me, see me, or know what i’m thinking. it was worse when i younger. i couldn’t even get changed in my own bedroom unless i took down my posters. that’s why i my room has been minimal in decorations since. i recently went against my own uncomfortable feelings & put up a figurine on my dresser. when i first did it, i thought, “what if i’ll never stop thinking about this every time i enter my room.” and felt an unhappy feeling wash over me. but i forced myself to let it be. it hasn’t been a problem. (i am talking abt it now / thinking abt it so i’m a little anxious again) i’m wondering if anyone goes through anything similar ? am i just nuts?

i think i’m broken, i’m never coming back omg this is it, i wanna cry so hard ugh

hey guys, I have health OCD & am always so fricking scared of having cancer. Every time something about my body feels a little off, I google my symptoms & convince myself, that I have cancer. My father was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor in 2019 & now I’m scared that it’s inheritable. Also I hyperfocused on my vision & I’m freaking out, because my brain tells me that I have visual field loss. pls help me

I’m worrying about being asexual/aromantic again. My worst habit is googling for reassurance, so I’m trying to resist doing that.

My daughter thinks about being gay all day long and it all spurred from a TikTok video and watching two women doing inappropriate things. She just thinks she will turn gay. She has thoughts about getting married to a woman all day long. 4 months prior to this when she hadn’t seen the TikTok video she never had any of these issues. When she talks to her therapist her therapist says “it is ok if you don’t know who you are attracted to. You don’t need to worry about that right now .” I do not think this therapist is trained to handle HOCD patients. I think this is HOCD.I don’t even know how to handle it. In the middle of the day she gets quiet and looks sad and then I ask her what’s wrong and she says the thoughts are bothering her. She thinks about everything. Sexual thoughts , I’m going to turn gay thoughts and other ocd intrusive thoughts. I am not sure how to help her . Should I just leave her alone and let the thoughts take it’s own course? And do people with HOCD turn gay? She is 12 years old.

ughhh i would really appreciate any advice anyone has. i think my dog is unfortunately gonna pass away tonight she’s very old and is slowing down. i hate getting emotional in front of others and now i can’t even leave my room. i’m worried this will send me into a very deep depression. if anyone has any advice please let me know.

Can anyone else relate to this... I feel like every single time I look for resources regarding real event OCD they always comment on how people who suffer are afraid that what they did makes them a bad person. Although this is true at first, it’s not really the root of the issue. Most people with real event know they are good people and what hurts is the idea that other people would think they are a bad person from what they did. I rarely see resources on how to deal with this specific thought process

FOR ALL WITH SEXUAL OBSESSIONS: I’ve noticed that most of the people on here struggle with intrusive sexual thoughts that cause a lot of distress, in fact, more than I ever expected to see. I myself have a lot of experience in this area, as I’ve been a sex addict for almost 15 years (I’m 25 now). I’ve actually never had sex; I’m addicted to masturbation. I’m writing this post to get my experience out there and maybe provide some perspective for those who can relate. Now, the difference with me is that my sexual behavior is NOT actually caused by OCD. I am actually a chronic sex addict with a paraphilic disorder. My sexual fantasies are centered around control and domination of people I find attractive. I don’t fantasize about hurting anyone, but I still don’t like the fantasy because we as humans are not meant to be dominated. We were created as equals. Anyway, I’ve noticed that some of you think you have a sex/porn addiction because of obsessive sexual thoughts, even if you don’t act out on them. So I’m going to write down some of the major components of addiction that make my behaviors addictive as opposed to simply being caused by OCD or another disorder. If you are questioning whether or not you are a sex/porn addict, ask yourself the following questions: 1.) Do the fantasies prompt me to act out sexually (e.g. masturbate, call a hooker or prostitute, etc.) and do I gain pleasure/gratification from acting out? 2.) Do I feel intense shame and guilt after I act out, which prompts even more acting out to escape those negative emotions? 3.) In general, do I sexually act out to escape from reality and/or any negative emotions and distress I’m feeling? 4.) Do I continue to act out even though I and the people around me don’t want me to act out? Have I tried stopping before on multiple occasions without any success? 5.) Do I continue to act out in spite of SEVERE negative consequences? Examples of such consequences might be legal consequences, dropping out of school, losing a job, or destroying interpersonal relationships. For example, I have dropped out of grad school twice and got fired from my part time job due to inappropriate behavior and yet I’m still continuing to sexually act out. That’s how I know I’m a full blown addict and not just someone who struggles with sexual thoughts due to OCD. 6.) Did I experience any sort of trauma(s) as a child that could have shaped my present-day sexual behavior? Having experienced trauma as a child is a huge component for addiction. For example, I had a very rigid and overbearing stepmom for most of my childhood, which probably influenced my present day sexual fantasy about domination and control. If you can’t relate to at least 2 or 3 of these items, then you are probably NOT a sex/porn addict. I relate to ALL 6 of these criteria, personally. Now that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t seek help if you feel like your sexual behavior is out of control. Such thoughts/habits can always morph into addiction. So if you catch it early, do something about it then instead of later! I only wrote this post because I’m perceiving that a lot of people on here are very quick to label themselves as an addict, when really this type of addiction is very different than what someone with OCD sexual thoughts experiences. Like, OCD sexual thoughts usually cause distress ONLY. My sexual fantasies also bring me pleasure at the same time. That’s the main difference. I hope this helps. Let me know if you have anymore questions or want to talk.

Did a tarot card reading that made me cry because the results were reversed 8 of swords and reversed 3 of wands. So about keeping yourself paralyzed and frustration, holding oneself back I did it on a topic that I know I’ve made a huge deal of because of my OCD And when I do tarot I’m always afraid it’s telling me to do the first thing I don’t want to do. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that with a sensitive subject to me.

my boyfriend just gives me reassurance and i know i don’t need that anymore but he gets mad when i try to accept the uncertainty because he doesn’t want me accepting i’m bi. but that’s not what i’m doing. he keeps telling me i’m straight over and over but it doesn’t help anything at all. what do i need to do?

I wish I had OCD so bad so that none of my feelings were my true feelings and so that none of my thoughts were my true thoughts. My therapist thinks it’s OCD, but I know it’s not. Anxiety? Not there. Compulsions? Not there. Intrusive thoughts? No, because there is a natural progression of thoughts. They don’t just pop out of nowhere. I honestly can’t handle the way I apparently feel. I can’t handle knowing that I don’t love anyone and never have. I can’t handle that I have this supportive and loving family who I just want around because I need them to love ME. I can’t handle that I’m this selfish person who has pushed her mother into a depressive episode because her own daughter doesn’t love her. I don’t want to leave, because I don’t know how to live my life without my family. And if I’ve never loved anyone, I never will love anyone. And what is life without love? I can’t handle all of this guilt, but letting go of it leads to me leaving my family and they don’t deserve that!!! What did they do to deserve a daughter who doesn’t love them and who leaves them because...well I don’t even really know why exactly. I’m just someone who lacks the ability to love, but needs everyone to love ME. I can’t handle that. It’s too sad. I want to go back to when I was ignorant to this. I don’t think I can live like this. And I’m sorry for posting on an ocd forum about it, but no one understands.

okay just got a memory that's caused guilt and I'm really tempted to hurt myself

I've been writing a lot here, but as long as it doesn't bother anyone it helps me a little, kinda like journaling my process. I've been stuck with my abuser because of lockdown, and my triggers are when i hear sounds or just anything related to it. I have been trying to expose myself to the constant noises, like i will hear footsteps and doors all the time and i think i need to get used to it. But as this is my biggest trigger it's difficult. If i hear other people it literally doesn't bother me at all...but i'm stuck with this high difficulty level. Today it was bad so i put on headphone with music, i really just had to escape because i couldn't handle it anymore. But right then, they turned on their aroma diffusor which they haven't used in years and i felt like i had no escape from the sensory triggers, it got so bad i ran outside. I know that i can do this, i HAVE to, but sometimes i feel like i have no place to retreat to when it gets this bad and i can't control this at all. I need to take some breaths inbetween and i can't do it, going through endless anxiety spikes. I'll try to think of something and try again tomorrow.

I need sleeping pills, lots of them

Anyone else get really ashamed and guilty and just overall begin to feel dirty after watching certain porn? :/ It’s nothing illegal it’s just taboo and feels wrong. But I can’t always climax off vanilla stuff anymore (which scares me a lot). I think I’m just going to stop watching it entirely.

Anyone had any success with natural supplements/diet changes during their recovery? I know its not the resolution, but just curious about anything to take the edge off a little and light your spirits when it really gets you down. Thanks!